Hey kids. This is my very first story ever. I'm excited and terrified! LOL.

I'm not sure how long this will be and I will try to post as much as possible. This writing thing is a lot harder than I thought it would be! Oh and it's going to be all EPOV.

I just have to say thank you ChanelAddict! She has been an amazing cheerleader through this whole process. I also need to thank VikingLoverElle for being a great and zippy beta! Sooo helpful!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

EPOV

This is the second appointment Pam's missed citing "work obligations." I love her, I really do. Sometimes though, she makes me want to scream! We signed onto this baby thing together. When Sookie agreed to be a surrogate for us, Pam was beside herself. It was all she would talk about for weeks and now she will barely talk to me about...anything really.

Pam and I married right out of college. It was a great idea at the time. I loved her more than anything. She was my lover and my best friend. Who better to spend your life with than the person that knows you better than you know yourself, right?

Our third wedding anniversary was sneaking up when I approached the subject of babies. I had always dreamed of having a big family, being an only child myself. This was no big surprise to Pam, we'd discussed it in the beginning of our relationship. So when I brought it up she was one hundred percent on board with the idea.

We'd been trying on our own for about six months with no success. Finally, I convinced her we needed to consult a Doctor. Pam's OB GYN wanted us both to do some initial testing before referring us to a specialist. After taking the fertility tests, my little swimmers came back strong—nothing amiss on my end. All of Pam's preliminary tests came back normal, but it was when Dr. Herveaux did the ultrasound that he found a mass on one of her ovaries. Of course I was adamant it was benign—who thinks at 24 "oh, it might be cancer?" Thankfully, Dr. Herveaux was able to do the biopsy that day. However, it took two weeks to get the results back.

We sat in the little claustrophobic room for twenty minutes waiting for the Dr. to join us and give us the news. When he came in he had a grim look and a partner. This wasn't looking so good. The partner was Dr. Twining, an Oncologist. After presenting us with the news that she had stage ll Ovarian cancer, Dr. Twining decided he wanted to run a few more tests before discussing treatment options. He needed to know exactly what he was dealing with. The cancer had spread to her fallopian tubes and uterus by the time it was discovered. We discussed our options with the Oncologist and ultimately decided a full hysterectomy would be the best course of action. Dr. Twining told us he may be able to save her eggs if we decided surrogacy was an option later on down the line. I was thrilled; I thought if we were able to find a surrogate Pam and I could still have children. Pam said no. I pushed for a reason and she wouldn't give me one. Thus, killing my dreams of starting a family.

Once Pam was in remission, we were referred to a counselor that worked solely with cancer survivors and their families. Dr. Broadway was a young energetic spitfire, and she was also a cancer survivor. We saw Dr. Broadway every other week for a year. It then slowed down to once a month. She was our security blanket so I didn't just want to quit cold turkey!

When we found out Pam had cancer, her Gran started Sunday dinners at her house. "Life is short," she said. "We need to spend as much time with family as possible. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner." There weren't too many people left on Pam's side. She never knew her dad and her mother died of a drug overdose when she was sixteen. Her only uncle and his wife were killed in a car accident when she was a little girl so now she was left with her cousins Sookie and Jason and of course her Gran. Around the time Sunday dinners started, Pam's cousin Sookie found out she was pregnant. She ended up having a baby boy she named Sam.
Seeing Sam every Sunday was starting to weigh on me. I still wanted a family of my own. Pam started to catch on. After so many years together and the months of counseling we'd gone through, she could read me like a book. Although I hadn't said anything I think she knew I was still angry over her choosing to destroy her eggs. I'm certain this is what prompted Pam to bring up trying to start a family again as our counseling sessions started slowing down.

We went through all of our options—the easiest and most practical being adoption. After all, there are unimaginable numbers of orphaned children in need of parents. But being the selfish prick that I am, I wanted a child of my own made from my DNA. I'd come to terms with the baby not being Pam's and mine together, so we set out to find an acceptable donor that would have many of Pam's physical qualities and was willing to be a surrogate.

We were at dinner one Sunday telling Gran and Sookie that we were having trouble finding a suitable donor. There were a couple I was okay with, but Pam wasn't happy with any of the candidates we had to choose from. Sookie shocked the shit out of me when she offered to be our surrogate. She argued the fact that she shares DNA with Pam so she would be perfect. I shouldn't have been shocked, Sookie was an extremely selfless person. In fact, I was elated! Pam was a little apprehensive at first but really! Who better to help create and carry our child?

After the decision was made, Sookie joined in on a few counselling sessions before we started the process with Dr. Herveaux. It took three tries before it worked.

It was a moment that will forever be burned into my brain. It was Sunday morning; neither of us had to work so we were sleeping in. I looked at the clock when the phone started ringing.
It was 6:17am.

I answered with a groggy "Hello?"

There was a squeal in response on the other end of the line.

"Eric! It worked! I'm pregnant! We're pregnant! You're going to be a daddy! Pam is going to be a mommy! Parents! You're going to be parents! Where's Pam! I need someone to squeal with! Unless you're up for the challenge. I'm so happy for you right now! Eric! Say something!"

"Huh?" Yes, that was my eloquent response. I'm honestly surprised I caught anything past 'it worked,' she was rambling so fast.

"PREGNANT, ERIC! PREGNANT! PAM NOW!"

"Mmm, hold on."

Pam had woken up as I was answering so I handed her the phone. I laid there letting it sink in. Finally, I was going to be a daddy. I didn't think Sookie actually realized the gift she was giving us. After the cancer, I honestly thought I would never have the family I dreamed of. I laid there speechless. I couldn't process a coherent thought. My emotions were all over the place. You name it, I was feeling it.

I GET A BABY!...OF MY VERY OWN!

I have no idea what Pam and Sookie were talking about. I could only hear the sounds of my emotions, if that makes sense. Then there was silence. Pam had hung up the phone and we just laid there staring at the ceiling not saying a word. I'd given up that dream at one point and here it was, coming true. I looked over at my wife, she had silent tears in her eyes. That's when I realized I was also crying. I couldn't get a grasp on anything I was feeling so the only thing left to do was cry. Just a little. I rolled over and held my wife. We spent the rest of our morning laughing, crying, and making love.

I hear the elevator ding reminding me of where I am and what today is. Sookie is twenty weeks, I find out if I'm having a boy or girl.

Thanks for reading!