|Searching for Meaning
Author: ShiraNation PM
VERY AU. It's not enough for her to live for the sake of responsibility to humanity. In a world where everything has changed, Emily searches for something more. Naomi on the other hand, struggles with getting too comfortable with the changes.Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Emily F. & Naomi C. - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,298 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 05-22-11 - Published: 05-07-11 - id: 6971425
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Vampires, werewolves, sea-creatures, super-humans have all been done before. I'm not certain, nor will it make a difference, but I've come to the conclusion that by such stories being out there, it makes it acceptable for me to write a post-apocalyptic zombie story. No, I don't think it'll be about brain-eating gory deteriorating limping nasty creatures, much more tied to emotions and characters and whatnot battling the meaning of life. A large component of the story will consist of memories. It'll likely be alternating between Emily and Naomi's PoV. I'd appreciate it if you gave this story a chance.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own skins or it's characters. And if this story fails utterly it's my entire fault, as always, so are any mistakes, and poor attempts at sounded like this was written in the UK.
Searching for Meaning: Prologue
August 3rd, 2024
Where to start? Perhaps an introduction of sorts would make sense. Hi, my name is Emily Fitch. I am twenty years old and before everything, I was about to attend university for a degree in philosophy. I don't have a home anymore and I've been separated from everyone I love except for my twin sister, Katie and fifteen year-old brother, James.
I've decided to keep a journal to record my memories and the journey that we take out here. Everything is different now and I don't want to forget what things used to be like. When I say different, I mean different bad. Every day is struggle emotionally, physically, and mentally. I suppose this journal will also help me retain my sanity, not to say that I haven't already lost a good portion of it, but nevertheless, we are all indifferent in that respect now. It's impossible to stay normal seeing the things we see on a daily basis if we aren't in hiding. We all have our own coping mechanisms and I'm hoping that writing will suffice as my own.
Before, we never spent nearly as much time with one another, always going our separate ways when we weren't at home. Each of us is so different from the other that it's getting harder and harder to have to spend so much time together. James coping involves looking at everything with interest and making a game out of what we have to do to survive. Sometimes things are so serious and scary we just want him to stop being so similar to his old self and act like a normal person and be afraid. Honestly, I think we snap at him out of jealousy, not being able to pretend that we are happy like him. I always question if his happiness is sincere or not. Maybe it is and it isn't. Nothing is set in black and white anymore.
Katie is very much the opposite of him, very emotionally down and frightened. I'm scared that she won't be able to hold on much longer which frustrates the hell out of me. I can't take losing anyone else, I need her, and I won't let her abandon us, not easily or without a fight. I've spent my time putting on a strong front, not wanting James to take charge and possibly get hurt, as bothersome as he can be and as tempted as I may feel. I've pushed myself to do things I would never have imagined before, things I would never have approved of.
Everyday I have to tell myself that our job is to survive. It's our responsibility to keep living and that is why we keep doing the things we do. That's why I'm writing this journal, to make the responsibility less burdening. I've lost meaning and maybe this will help me find it, because to live just for the sake of responsibility won't be enough, not for long.
Get up. Check the barricaded doors and windows for any breaks. Scratch off the day on the calendar. Check the food supply. Shit, getting low. I guess I can eat less. Clean the picture of me and Gina smiling, on the shelf. Eat a cracker. Sit on the couch that is near the door, taking a minute to listen, making sure there is complete silence inside and outside, petting the dog that's sitting next to me to make sure he's silent while I stay still and quiet for a minute, holding my breath. Nothing. It's okay to breath. Read at least thirty pages of the encyclopedia of the letter, 'C.' (Already finished 'A' and 'B'.) Fall asleep for a few hours before having another cracker I share with the dog and waiting for nightfall. Hear the alarm on my watch beep before getting up with the dog close behind, and checking all the doors and windows again. Making sure there are no new cracks in the wall, that all the locks are sturdy, that there is no noise coming from outside. No noise inside other than me or the dog. Take the folded blankets and put them on the couch with the gun on the floor within reach. Lay down with the dog on my lap, close my eyes. Open my eyes again and count the bullets, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Put the gun under my pillow and get comfortable. (As comfortable as you can be, knowing you may not wake up. Not sure whether I'm more scared to never wake up or to wake up and face the same routine tomorrow.) Not sure that if I do wake up, whether I'd rather have a disturbance or intrusion among my routine or not. Being afraid of getting to comfortable of being alone and doing the routine. That is my routine until my tired body can lie awake no more. This has been my routine for the past two months.
SO What did you think? I'd like you to know that for Emily and Naomi, the writing styles won't stay the same. That's just how I wanted it to be for the prologue. (Although Emily's will still have the journals, but also much more than that…) And the chapters will also be much longer… Just didn't want to give anything in this chapter other than their emotions.
You have yet to hear about what happened to make a difference between their before and after lives. Yes you know zombies fit in here somewhere, as I mentioned before… but it will be a fun ride. Do expect the introduction of the other characters as the story rolls on. I have a fair amount of direction where I want this story to go.
It's actually kind of sad really. Almost made me cry a little. Then again, I'm in control so that may play a part in that area. (SONG THAT CAME TO MIND for this part: "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap)
Please leave a review if you enjoyed it or thoroughly hated it. LOL. Either way it'll make my day. (or ruin it. ;s )
Thank you for your support and reading this. Let us enjoy this journey together if you'll just take my hand. -Shira (Slave to her Spontaneous Crazy Idea and Lack of Focus.)
For those of you who read my other stories, well, I apologize as usual, I just really liked this idea… and I have writers block for most of the others. I do expect to return to them every now and then; just all depends on my mood. So please accept my apology and look at this with an open mind…