Author: seinfeldfan69 PM
Whacky hijinks are soon put on hold as the gang is brought together by the result of a personal tragedy.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Horror - Words: 684 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 05-16-11 - Status: Complete - id: 6996213
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
elaine: oooooh ive been there! *chews gum obnoxiously cause its the 90s*
elaine: good bones jerry: great bones!
george: best BONES IN NEW YORK!
*throws comically large club and african sheild on the floor*
kramer: BONE bOONNNEEE OOGA *goes into jerrys fridge and makes a sandwich*
george: you know its just LIKE those kinds of people to do that kramer: *breaking character for a split second* WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU PEOPLE?
*kramer, quickly realizing what he has done gets back into character
kramer: I mean uh, OOOGA, WHAT OOGA, YOU MEAN, YOU PEOPLE BOOGA jerry: kramer, leave that grape soda alone its my favorite brand
*huge applause and uproarious laughter that lasts about 5 minutes and 23 seconds, some people roll out of their seats from laughing so hard, some audience members require medical attention*
kramer: *drinks grape soda and is shaking getting soda all over his naked body/jerrys apartment*
jerry: KRAMER! y-, I cant do this, I cant do it!
elaine: Oh jerry he's just being kramer, you know he does this, besides its not like you were gonna eat it!
*elaine continues to chew her apple obnoxiously loud with huge animated chops that recall certain scenes from the "melody makers" cartoons in the mid 20'th century, also its still the 90's*
Jerry: elaine, I, I cant do it, alright? I'm fed up with it! I'm calling the police.
elaine: oh jerry just let it go jerry: No way elaine this has gone on long far enough george: jerry just put the phone down *tries to take it out of his hands but it soon turns into a wrestle and then a scuffle as nigger kramer is eating a whole raw chicken crouching on jerrys counter*
elaine: *sees george pull out a gun out of his pants* oh mY GOD! JERRY!
*gunshot, audience gasps and then theres a commercial transition*
*some commercial for like folgers or whatever*
*scene transition reveals the wailing sirens of an ambulance before leading into the next scene in which we see jerry laying down in a hospital bed surrounded by emergency surgeons, jerry has a rib spreader in his chest*
George: *sobbing uncontrollably* Oh god what have I done, im going to jail, I killed my best friend Elaine: *now shouting at george* IVE TOLD YOU TO STOP CARRYING AROUND THAT LOADED GUN AND NOW LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!
*Elaine starts to physically assault george out of uncontrollable emotion*
*Police rush in and pull elaine off of george*
Police officer 1: Are you george costanza?
*george is now sobbing uncontrollably as well*
George: I am, it was, it was an accident, I'm sorry, I'm so so-
Cop 1: You're under the arrest for the murder of jerry seinfeld
*Elaine releases an ear piercing shreik of horror and sadness and she collapses onto the floor trying to rely on the police officers to keep her standing, fraught with cries of "how" and "why" and "god take me instead! please!"*
*A scuffle breaks out as george tries to kick and strike the cops from putting the handcuffs on them, officer 1 calls for backup*
*a flurry of fists and billyclubs rain down on georges face as he is beaten unconcious and finally taken into police custody*
*kramer is at the front desk of the hospital, the receptionist is african american*
Kramer: OOOGA, JERRY, MR- UH, BOOGA, SEINFELD!
Receptionist: Sir I'ma have to ask you to fill out this questionaire just like EVERYONE ELSE!
*Kramer looks into the camera, still in black face, surprised. end title sequence bassline begins*