Author: ChristyRita PM
You know what sucks about break-ups? You have to move on. But what if you don't want to move on. What if You're the one who's going to love her the most? ONE-SHOTRated: Fiction K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Eli G. - Words: 934 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 05-31-11 - id: 7039525
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Degrassi.
P.S. From Eli's P.O.V.
I'm the one that's going to love you most.
That's the thought that goes through my head whenever I see them.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that she's happy- I'm just not pleased that I'm not the person she's happy with. Every single day, I have to see her walk right next to him and it kills me. Every single day I have to see him make her smile and I want to punch something. Every single day I see them get closer and it hurts.
And you want to know what sucks the most? There's nothing I can do about it. Well actually I take that back. I could do something about it; I could put my heart on the line again. I could take that risk. I could run up to her and kiss her with every single ounce of passion and love my body can hold. I could tell her I'll wait for her. I could tell her I'd do anything for her, actually scratch that.
I could tell her… I love her…
But my heart can't take anymore heart break. Knowing that she doesn't want to be near me, knowing that she'll try not to hurt me but will anyway… I can't. I walk around school and I see them everywhere. I'm just surprised no one at the school figured out why we broke up. Whatever, it means less pain for me. It means no one will ask me about it and I won't have to relive the pain… again.
It should be easy getting over her- she got over me fast. Yet, I can't. This isn't like Julia. When I got over her, I meant I got over her. Is she still in my heart? Yes and she probably always will be. But when it comes to her, all I can think about is getting her to kiss me again. Even if it's by accident. She's so indescribable. And I meant it when I said I am in love with her.
I'm in love with her and I can't have her. Not when she's so insanely happy with him. Maybe he will be good for her. I always knew that I wouldn't be good for her and yet I pinned and pinned and lost it all. I could have had it all. If I was being honest from the start. Yeah, I knew she was all good and pure and saint like. But being the pessimist I am, I didn't think she'd understand all my underlying problems. And she did understand and still had her arms wide open for me.
And I had to go and screw it up.
I will admit I wasn't thinking rationally that night. But those words she said weren't just words. They were pain…physical and mental pain searing through my veins and blood, crawling up my skin, and attacking my brain and heart at the most ridiculous speed ever. And all that would run through my brain was, Keep her, she's going away, Keep her. Now I realize that was a dumb mistake.
And this is why people should listen to their brain instead of their heart. You'll keep the hurt that will eventually come away. I don't regret meeting her and I hope she doesn't regret meeting me. I just hope that one day when I look at her standing next to him, my brain won't yell at me for being so stupid, my hands won't clench into fists, I won't have to bite my tongue, but most importantly, I hope my heart won't long for hers.
I hope the day will come when I can see them and be happy for them. Genuinely happy for them, happy at the fact that she's going to be treated like a princess by a guy that's actually worth, because we all know that I'm not. And though I want this so badly I know it'll never happen.
It'll never happy because I want to be the one she's happy with. I want to be the one she calls when she needs a ride home. I want to be the one that's there for her when her parents aren't. I want to be the one for her. I guess fate only wanted us as friends and nothing more than that. Maybe we could've defied fate, but look how great that turned out for Romeo and Juliet.
For his sake, he better treat her well. If he doesn't, he'll end up in the hospital, and she'll hate me even more. Isn't that what I wanted at first though? Didn't I want her to stay away from me? No, I wanted her to be with me and I knew she'd get hurt, yet I still wanted her.
And know we're back to where we started- I want her. But I can't have her. Want to know what the best part is? I'm the one who is going to love her the most. And she wants' nothing to do with me. I'm in love with Clare Diane Edwards.
Hope you enjoyed, Review?
(INSERT ROSE HERE) You Know You Love Me ChristyRita