|Lilo and Stitch 3: the Trash Can Crisis
Author: StupidSequel PM
Somehow all the trash cans in the city have mysteriously disappeared, the art museum is a mess, and there's a flash flood warning. Possibly the most confusing fanfic I've written thus far, as it's written similarly to the Simpsons Trilogy of Error.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,299 - Published: 05-31-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7039548
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Lilo and Stitch 3: the Trash Can Crisis
(AN: This fanfic is written similar in style to the Simpsons episode Trilogy of Error, where it played the same day through Lisa, Homer, and Bart's eyes. Each chapter is the same day, but a different POV)
Chapter 1: Lilo's day
It was a beautiful spring morning. The paper boy came and threw a paper through the window of the neighbor's house by accident. The house's Japanese owner yelled "KUSOTTARE!" The headline read 'First day of spring. Also, gas hits six dollars a gallon.'
Lilo's alarm clock went off, but she slept through it. Finally she was woken up by Stitch.
"Oh God! I missed the bus! I'm gonna be late for school!" She was in a rush to decide what to change into. She eventually decided on wearing her sleeveless shirt with sleeves. She remembered the infomercial about this revolutionary product where you could have all the fun of flaunting your toned arms, but not be so cold since you have sleeves. Ladies and gentlemen, the world's first sleeveless shirt with sleeves! She ended up having a banana for breakfast. After she was done with her banana, something unusual happened. She couldn't find the trash can to deposit her banana peel.
"I'm ready to go to school now!" Lilo shouted, but couldn't find her sister anywhere. Nani usually drove her to school. She got a crazy idea, but it was a long shot.
"Stitch, can you drive me to school?"
"Hmmm, I..." There was a knock at the door. Stitch went to go answer it. It was Pleakley and Jumba.
"They're having the new Impressionist exhibit at the art museum downtown and we're inviting you to go see it with us."
"Oh boy. Sorry Lilo, but I have plans with the guys."
"Well fine, I guess I'll take the stinkin TARC!" She deposited the banana peel in her backpack. Maybe they'll have trash cans at school. She paid a dollar, which was exactly enough. On the way she saw a billboard about Mega Cavern tours opening up. She really wanted to tour that place. It was where they stored salt to use for the winter, but since it never snowed in Hawaii, it was never needed, so the snow plows were all rotting away, but they decided they couldn't take any chances after hearing about the 2009 ice storm that slammed some of the Eastern part of the country. Lilo was dropped right in front of her school. She was a fraction of a second late.
"Lilo! You're any amount late. Just for that, it's an automatic F for the semester!" Her teacher scolded. She looked around, but to her surprise, she didn't see any trashcans at school, either. Well, since the school cafeteria food is so horrible, I guess I might as well eat my banana peel.
Finally it was lunch time. Lilo sat at a table by herself and got her banana peel out from her backpack. It had already become rotten. She decided to eat it anyway. Even if the banana peel was rotten, at least it tasted better than the school cafeteria food. Shortly before lunch time was over, Lilo felt nauseous. At last she couldn't hold it in any longer. She spewed on the floor because where else would she have puked? There were no trash cans anywhere in sight.
"All right. Calm down everyone," the assistant principal spoke. "Let's clean this up and take to the land fill in the Impressionist exhibit at the art museum." As if on cue, a small spaceship zoomed around the cafeteria, and it shot lasers to destroy the puke pile. The puke pile was vanquished, and the spaceship left to go into the hallway. Someone fell into the crater the laser left behind. It was not Lilo. "Well then."
"That's where Stitch said he was going," Lilo muttered to herself.
"Lilo, I need to speak with you." Lilo gulped. They walked into the assistant principal's office.
"I need to call you parents so they can pick you up. I don't think you're healthy enough to stay here at school, since you puked."
"They died." Lilo said so quietly you couldn't hear her from a thousand feet away.
"Oh, okay then. Well, since you took the TARC here, then you must take the TARC back home."
Lilo took the TARC home, paying with her other dollar that she would have used to buy the school lunch had she not brought her banana peel. When she got home, she found that the door was locked.
"Son of a diddly! I forgot, I locked the house since no one was home, and I don't have a house key. Hey, maybe I can get in through the cat flap." She got down on all fours and tried to squeeze in through the cat flap, but she was too fat. She was stuck. Just to make matters worse, it was raining heavily. Nani came home eventually.
"What in the world?"
"I got sick from eating my rotten banana peel because somehow all the trash cans mysteriously disappeared. Will you let me in?" Nani unlocked the door, but she left Lilo laying there stuck.
"Ummm, maybe some butter or something would help?" Lilo suggested. A gust of wind strong enough to push her the rest of the way in the door blew. She was feeling fine now, but she knew she wouldn't be allowed back at school for the rest of the day. She smiled at that thought because she just remembered something she really wanted to do.
"Hey, Nani, I was wondering if you could take me to the Mega Cavern. I saw a billboard that it would be open for tours starting today." Nani tensed.
"No, absolutely not! I forbid it!" Nani and Lilo looked outside. It was a flash flood warning.
"All right then, will you take me to the bowling alley? I just remembered, I was gonna meet my friends there."
"Fine," Nani sighed. She got a text message. "Sorry, Lilo, I have to go. I have a date with Cobra Bubbles, my new boyfriend, the guy I called a stupid head, but hopefully he's gotten over it."
Lilo was stuck home alone. She needed to go to the bowling alley within fifteen minutes or else her friends would start the game without her. She had an idea. She decided to play 'You Ain't Nuthin But A Hound Dog' on loud speakers. Hopefully this song will lure Stitch over here, and then he can fly me to the bowling alley in his space ship. She was playing the song real loudly, enough that people 20 miles away could listen to it. Where was Stitch? Lilo was getting angry.
Stitch and his other two alien friends, came by in a spaceship that looked vastly different from their other one, lured by that song like she expected.
"What took so long?" Lilo demanded.
"Long story," Stitch replied. It took them over a minute to fly to the bowling alley. By then her friends had already finished their game. They were already returning their shoes. Lilo went to go talk to her friends.
"Sorry, we cannot bowl another game just so you can play. You should have been here an hour ago if you wanted to play with us. Tough luck."
"Some friends you are! At least I have Stitch! He'll never let me down!" Lilo spat as Stitch walked out on her.
"Yep. Stitch. He's a real friend if he's walking out on you," they said in sarcasm. Stitch came back with a bowling ball in his hands. It was pink, with My Little Pony designs on it.
"They said I couldn't bowl with them, and I don't have any money, plus it's no fun bowling with just two people."
"Oh my gosh, it's Lilo! I'm your biggest fan! I think I'm in love with you!" the bowling ball said.
"You're replacing my gang of 'friends' from now on. I'm in love with you too." As Lilo said 'friends' she made a quotation marks gesture with her index and middle fingers. She bowled a couple frames before she was kicked out for not paying and for not wearing bowling shoes. She decided it was worth it. She stood in the parking lot and smoked cigarettes to pass the time. She saw Stitch, but her cigarette was too delicious to douse.
"You know that shit's bad for you," Stitch said. Lilo put out the lit end of her cigarette on her tongue.
Now that Lilo was kicked out of the bowling alley as well as school, she climbed into Gutter's spaceship with Stitch. Gutter was nowhere to be seen. Lilo's heart sank, but then she remembered something.
"I wanna see the Impressionist exhibit. I hear it's really awesome!"
"No you don't," Stitch countered. "That's where all the trash goes now that the city has no idea where any of the trash cans are simply because they assume no one cares about art anymore. I care about art."
"Is that a challenge?" Lilo hissed. She rolled up the sleeves of her sleeveless shirt with sleeves and prepared to punch him. Stitch bit her chest. Lilo kicked him hard in retaliation. They were tussling on the floor of the spaceship as they were going to the art museum to see the Impressionist Exhibit.
"If you two are gonna spend all this time fighting, I'll leave you two alone and we'll forget the whole trip." Jumba ordered. Lilo and Stitch instantly stopped fighting. Lilo went into the museum by herself, wondering what kind of horror in the Impressionist exhibit she would find. When she arrived in the Impressionist exhibit, a smell more vile than rotting moldy sewer gas reeked all over. There it was, the huge mound of trash in all its glory. She could not move around it to see the rest of the exhibit, so she turned around. The woman behind the counter gave her a full refund without a second thought.
"You were right! That exhibit smells so horrible!" Lilo cried in disgust.
"No kidding." Stitch agreed. Even though it stopped raining, the water had just gotten a bit higher than it was before, somehow. Suddenly Lilo missed the rush she got when she fought with Stitch. I think I love getting into fights. In search of yet another fun thing to do, she decided to kayak to the aquarium. There was a sign on the door that read 'Sorry, we're closed.' Lilo's stomach dropped.
So she decided to strut her way into a high school. The school day still had about 20 minutes left. She knew that there would be people getting into fights in high schools. She dressed up into a midriff baring tube top, tight jean shorts, and sunglasses, and trespassed into the high school.
"Making movies, having fun, and fightin round the world," she sang in an Australian accent. She punched some nerdy jock in the jaw.
"It's on, bitch," he yelled. Lilo had the upper hand, for he was a boy, and she was a girl. WHY CAN'T I MAKE THIS OBVIOUSER? She kicked him in the nads as hard as she could. She found her new gift. She beat down all the boys one by one. Lilo celebrated by smoking a cigarette in the boy's bathroom.
She left the school in search of another place to pick fights. She remembered the Mega Cavern tour. But how would they even start the tour? She knew that the cavern must have been filled with water after such a hard rain. Maybe they kayak everywhere?
So she kayaked over to the Mega Cavern which was full of water as she expected. At the mouth of the cave was a sign that said 'Turn back. Closed.' No gate, no chains, no nothin. Just a sign. They were relying on people having the common sense to not venture into the cavern. Lilo decided it would be an opportunity to brush up on her scuba swimming skills and go under. She saw a bunch of trash cans being weighed down by something. Upon closer inspection, she found that there were bowling balls at the bottom of each trash can. She wondered if Gutter was in one of them. But finding him might take all day. Now she knew the where, but not the who or the why. She then saw Nani with a sad expression on her face.
"I heard you've been traveling all over, picking fights."
"Not all over-" Lilo protested.
"That's not why I'm sad. I've been dumped, and it's because I hid all the trash cans in this cave! Will you track down Cobra Bubbles and beat his ass?"
"Sure!" Lilo cheered, instantly forgetting all about Gutter. Lilo stole Nani's phone, knowing full well that it could track Cobra's position since he had a phone with a microchip. Lilo was kayaking her way, following the moving dot. When she passed by the art museum, her heart sank when she saw that it was on fire, and a spaceship was hurrying away from it. Stitch wouldn't set an art museum on fire. He appreciates art too much for that. She was puzzled when she saw the dot run over a bunch of houses in quick succession. She remembered that the sewer runs in that approximate direction. Could it be?
She took off a manhole cover and kayaked through the sewage until she found the chip that was inside Cobra's phone. That bastard, running away from me. She climbed the ladder and almost got run over before the driver hit the brakes super hard. Hey, where did all the flood water go? The driver was Nani.
"Get in NOW!" she demanded. "We are taking you to the doctor. You puked earlier today and I think you might be sick. Also, I need to see the doctor for this bite on my arm that Stitch most definitely made."
"But I'm fine," Lilo protested. "Wait. Stitch wouldn't hurt a fly."
"The school called earlier, shortly after I sc... oh never mind. And I'm gonna kill Stitch."
When they arrived at the doctor...
Lilo's doctor spake first.
"She's not really sick. That puke earlier was a one time thing." Nani's doctor spake second.
"And you, Nani, faking illness just to hide something."
"What are they talking about?" Lilo wondered.
"Long story. And here, I believe he wants to be with you," Nani said as she returned the trash can to its proper place and she also gave Lilo her most prized possession: Gutter. Lilo and Gutter each shared a kiss.