|My life as a moron
Author: xTrumbleXbom PM
Wheatley's P.O.V Mostly. He's trying to live as a human. GlaDOS was the cause of this. Happened before Wheatley became a monster, and he won't be one. Everyone turns into a human, and they end up in school! Read! :3 Nvm back to hiatus lmao.Rated: Fiction T - English - Wheatley & GLaDOS - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,466 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 01-24-12 - Published: 06-05-11 - id: 7053853
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hey guys, it's me with a new story to write on FF. I do not own Portal 1, Portal 2, BlueXephos, GlaDOS, Chell, Wheatley or anything else in this story. I don't like Chelley, but I don't dislike it either, let's get that straight. xXx ''Moron'' By the way, thought you should know… xXx
I don't know if I'm going to do any pairings.
If I'm going to end up doing a pairing, It'll be Wheatley x GlaDOS.
We have enough Chelley already.
If you hate the couple Wheat x GlaD then this might not be the story for you.
Hell, if I did GlaDOS would be a robot girl with a sick mind, which she already is but she would eventually end up with Wheatley while Chell would have found someone else.
If you want to read Chelley, be my guest and read another fanfiction, cause this is an Wheat x Glad.
Just don't flame me because I hate Chelley.
I just honestly think there should be more Wheat x Glad, I've only seen 2 so far.
''I'm not a moron!'' Human or eye balled robot (lol)
''Bloody hell, I'm a bloody human!'' thoughts
I never played Portal 1-2 before, neither watched a walkthrough of it (okay, BlueXephos's but only till part 4 or 5 (Co – Op).
So don't get mad at me if I get the characters wrong.
I'll try to make them fit with what I have read in FF Portal so far.
I do not own Portal 1, Portal 2, BlueXephos, GlaDOS, Chell, Wheatley or anything else in this story.
I don't like Chelley, but I don't dislike it either, let's get that straight.
''Moron''GlaDOS speaking in robot form
By the way, thought you should know…
GlaDOS had been testing on Chell again.
I could tell that.
Chell had been knocked out due to eight hours of testing without a break.
She told Orange and Blue to carry her back to her room, well, it looked more like a cell.
If I could sigh, I would.
Sometimes I'd hold a conversation with Chell.
The conversations were and are pleasant, more pleasant than the conversation I and Her have, that's for sure.
GlaDOS would always call me a moron if I said something she didn't agree with.
I would shout back ''I'm not a moron!''
But I'm just a robot made to be a moron, so what could I do?
Once I asked her about life outside this facility, she would always answer with anything similar to ''Why would you want to live outside when there's so much testing to do?''
Sometimes ... Sometimes I'd wonder what it would look like outside this place.
The Aperture Science facility. (A/N I don't know if this is the correct name)
God I hate this place, but I can't do anything about it, because of Her.. GlaDOS..
People think she's driven mad by testing.
They had high expectations from GlaDOS, thinking they had created the ultimate core.
How do I know this?
I once stumbled upon a document.
The creator of GlaDOS originally planned for Caroline to be put into a core, and put it in a big machine hanging in the air, but he made a critical mistake.
Once he put the core Caroline into GlaDOS everything began overheating.
The computers started exploding.
Luckily he managed to cancel the complete transfer before everything blew up.
He decided to put Caroline back into her body, and leave GlaDOS powered off.
What he didn't know was that GlaDOS was now a (living?) robot, the power was only off.
He experimented with other cores and added them to GlaDOS while turning on the power, waiting to see if the cores would trigger any kind of effect, since the frame of the robot was burned a bit, not too badly though.
Nothing happened, well.. Until I happened..
They added me to GlaDOS, and the facility started to shake.
''Get off me, Now.'' Her (It?) voice rang through my head.
If I were a human I'd feel a chill go down my spine, but even though I'm not a human I was scared.
Her voice was robotic, and it had a lot of authority in it, making you want to obey everything she tells you to do.
''I don't care about you, just get off me.''
''I can't, ehh sorry, hehe.. The scientists added me to you, hehe..''
´´Alright, shutting up, no more talking, nope, well, more like thinking since I'm not really talking, no more thinking.. yep…´´
´´I´m going to kill you.´´
I became silent the moment she said that.
I was sure I was radiating fear, which she seemed to like.
´´D-do y-y-you like t-to s-see p-p-people o-or robots f-fear y-you ..?''
''Yes, it's funny how mortals are easily scared.''
Gaining more confidence I started to talk more without stuttering, until the scientists started asking questions to Her.
For some reason I felt unsettled by these questions.
''How are you feeling?" One of them asked.
''I feel fine!'' I answered.
''Wheatley, we're not asking you…''
I could hear snickering and whispers about me been a moron.
''They don't like you, do they?''
''I have no idea.''
''I don't like you either, you should just die…''
''Haha, you-.. i.. you should stop joking.. haha..''
''I'm not joking, when I get to crush you I will.''
And with that the whole facility started shaking once again.
''Aaaaahhh! What's happening?''
''Shut up, moron.''
''I am NOT a moron!''
''Getting defensive there, did I hit a weak spot?''
''I'm going to plan what I'm going to torture you with later, I have a facility to take over.''
And with that, i was knocked out.
I opened my eyes.. Wait what?
I only had one eye...
Did my eye get crashed due to a crash or something?
That's weird.. I feel a bit.. dizzy..
My head is spinning, how can this be possible?
This never happened to me..
Why am I talking to myself?
Then I had a feeling at my chest, like I was running out of something and I needed to do something, else something bad would happen.
What am I supposed to do! Feeling go away!
It stings.. It hurts.. I'm going to.. I'm..
´´Moron, everyone knows that breathing is crucial to survival of a human, it should have been the easiest thing to do as a human, yet you are having difficulties with it, I guess you really are a moron.´´
´´I AM NOT A MORON!´´
''Wait, That voice… GlaDOS?''
''Yes it's me, now be silent so I can explain what is going on.''
''Wait, why am I breathing, why do I have two eyes wh-…'
''Shut up, I told you to be silent, why am I even trying to explain it to you..''
''I'll be silent, yep I'm going to be silent now, three two one now, I'm silent!''
''Shut it, I don't have a lot of patience left with you.''
I stayed silent, and after five seconds she dropped a mirror in front of me on the bed I was sitting on.
''Eh, it's a mirror.. What's so special about it?''
''Look in the mirror, moron..''
''I'm NOT a moro-..''
Three seconds of silence.
''BLOODY HELL, I'M A BLOODY HUMAN!''
''Stop screaming, you moron.''
I heard none of it though, I kept screaming questions which even She probably couldn't hear.
''You really are a moron, screaming in this situation won't help you.''
She could call me anything else, she could do whatever she wanted but I'm not going to let Her call me a moron!
´´I´M NOT A MORON!´´
Then who was the one having trouble breathing five minutes ago?''
''Sh-.. Shut up!''
''Anyways, I retrieved your core and put it in a new machine I created, once a core has been put in there it will create a human body which fits the core, the created human body will have higher abilities than normal humans.''
''So you mean I'm some kind of super human?''
´´Something like that..´´
´´Why can I hear you in my head?''
''You only noticed now..?''
I think She probably would have sweat dropped, had She been an anime character.
''I'm NOT a m-..''
''The reason you can hear me in your head is because when the machine creates a new body it will add a chip to the brain, allowing me to transfer my thoughts to them, vice versa.''
''Anyways, we're going to start testing now.''
Wait, what? How did I know I'm hungry?
I heard growling under me.
I jumped and fell off the bed, landing with my face on the hard, unforgiving floor.
''Yeeowch! That hurt!''
''Moron, of course it would, even though you have heightened abilities you will still be effected by pain, hunger, exhaustion and other things that are deadly to humans.''
''What was that!''
''The growling would be your stomach, when it growls it is hungry.''
''So I have a living stomach inside of me?''
''I'M NOT A MORON!''
''Now.. Let's start testing, you'll be having someone joining you for the first few levels, as you are a moron.''
''You start at level z-''
''I AM NOT A MORON!''
''You are, now you will start at level zero.''
''I still need something to eat, and when did level zero existed?''
''It never existed until you came along.''
''Level zero will be the level for morons like yourself.''
''I AM NOT A MORON!''
''Now, eat this and we'll start testing.''
She dropped something in front of me.
I looked inside the thing and saw two brown slices of.. something and a pinkish.. I don't know what it is..
''What is this?''
''Its bread with ham.''
''What is this?''
I pointed at the thing where the bread and ham were in.
''It's called a lunchbox.''
''Where did you get this from?''
''Does that matter? Just eat already so we can start the testing.''
''Alright, going to eat now, yep, taking the first bite of this bread and ham.''
Looking at the bread I moved it closer to my mouth and took a bite.
I just tasted something in my life as a human!
It tasted nice.
''This is yummy!''
She stayed silent.
''I'm going to eat bread for the rest of my life!''
While eating I mumbled out a I'm not a moron.
After eating She dropped a portal gun in front of me.
After fifteen minutes of trying to get it on It clicked me.
Another five minutes to find the on button.
''Took you long enough, how hard is it to find a simple button?..''
''Stop calling me a moron, I'm not a moron and I'm not moronic!''
''I didn't say you were one.''
''You were hinting at it though!''
''Can you blame me?''
Her ignoring me told me to walk past a hall, and that behind the doors would be my first test.
''Wait, didn't you say someone was going with me?''
''Yes I did.''
A door I was unaware of opened next to me.
Looking through the door open I saw Chell standing there and looking at me.
''Hey! You're the nice lady I helped testing! Haii!''
''Who are you?''
''It's me! You probably don't recognize me but I'm Wheatley!''
''Wheatley? As in the little robot ball?''
''Yep, that's me, hehe, me plain ol' Wheatley!''
''If you're done chatting we have some testing to do.''
After some minutes i finally stopped been scared about standing on a launching platform.
I immediately regretted standing on one..
I stood on the platform and WHAM, my whole body slammed into the wall.
And the platform shot me a different way than it said it would!
''What just happened?''
My whole body ached.
''It seems the platform had lost a spring and launched you into a wall.''
''That hurt you know, you wouldn't have to be so casually about it!''
''I didn't think a moron was capable of getting hurt.''
''I'm not a moron!''
Meanwhile Chell was trying not to laugh her ass off.
''Damn, I'm taking another route!''
''Have fun jumping over the toxic and acid pools then.''
''You'll have to pass this room either way.''
''What if I refuse?''
''You can't go back, you can only go forward.''
''And this was supposed to be level zero?''
After three hours of resisting to jump I tried again.
I slowly went down the wall.
''Screw this, if I mess up with my jump over the toxic and acid I'll die, what's the worst that can happen, right?''
''That is the worst that can happen.''
I jumped out of my skin, having forgotten She could transfer her thoughts.
Well, at least Chell left the room, she wouldn't have to wait on me.
''Alright, I'm going to take this jump, all or nothing!''
I jumped as far as I could, and as high as possible.
''OWCH, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?''
''You slammed into the wall.''
''At least you reached the other side.''
''AND MY BODY IS ACHING ALL OVER!''
''Stop acting like a moron, wait, I guess you can't, you're a moron at heart''
''I'M NOT A MORON! I'm not I'm not I'm NOT!''
''Just go out the next door and go left, there is the chamber where you'll be staying.''
As I went into the next chamber I noticed there were two doors.
One said IDS, the other one said ''Do Not Enter, Employees only.''
I never was the one to know what was left and what was right, so I just went with my instinct and went to the room saying IDS.
''Good, get some sleep and we will start the real testing tomorrow.''
I did what I was told, and I woke up due to some sounds I heard from the room across me.
That's weird.. What would possibly so loud that I can hear it from here?
I knew I shouldn't leave the room if I wasn't told to.
There was a bathroom and food supply in the current room, so there was no reason to get out.
But me being.. me I started to get curious.
Thinking the door was locked I tried to turn the knob, expecting the door to stay locked.
I blinked, I pushed the door and it went open.
Surprised I stood there for a half minute, wondering why She wouldn't lock the door.
I started to hear sounds again from the other side of the room and forgot about what I was thinking.
Taking one step closer to the room my heart started beating faster.
What if it's GlaDOS doing something important and sees me walking in?
I'm going to be in big trouble if that happens..
Taking the chance I took a deep breath and opened the door.
The first thing I saw was someone standing over a lot of keyboards.
The man or woman was typing rapidly and on a big screen a lot of things happened.
Too much for me to understand.
That is until the man or woman stopped typing and took a glance at the screen, seeing big white letters with a dark green background saying ''Fill in password''
Then he/she typed something which came up in four white dots.
I heard a voice saying ''Program rewriting''
''What is happening?''
Not knowing what was happening I slowly took steps forward to the figure in the dark.
Me being, well, me I tripped over my own feet and accidently pressed a button.
''Program rewriting canceled, program rebooting.''
Then everything turned black.
I heard someone mutter something and ran to the door and opened it.
The door was slammed and I heard hurried footsteps, like someone was running.
I tried to look in the dark but I couldn't see anything.
Standing up I wondered where I was and who that person a second ago was.
What the hell is happening…
Then suddenly a machine lighted up.
Robot balls started to roll through tracks on the ceiling and the machine started spinning.
A minute later people appeared in the machine and the robots were gone.
''Wait a minute.. This means that this the machine is that..''
I heard groans.
I quickly ducked and tried to hide myself, whatever happened I could not be seen by them.
I especially feared one of the girls.
She had blond hair and simply looked stunning.
She was beautiful, and then i started comparing her to Chell.
''Wait a minute, why am I comparing them, and who are they?''
Seeing they were still not fully aware of the situation I walked to the door as silently, while hurrying as possible.
Tripping over my own feet again i quickly stood up and ran to the door, ignoring the protest of my body needing a few seconds to recover, threw the door open and smashed it.
Running to the other side I smashed into the door of my assigned room.
It was literally 1 meter distance between them.
''Owch..'' I muttered silently.
Opening the door I went inside, closed the door behind me and felt a chill go down my spine.
Something in my mind screamed at me to barricade the door.
I barricaded the door with a chair and went to bed.
The last thing that went through my head was ''Why did I barricade the door?''
So guys, how was this chapter?
I know She was a bit cold, but I intend to change that later in the chapters.
But at least I tried to make her less cold than in all the other fanfictions.
At least, not as cold to Wheatley.
Anyways, if anyone would like to beta this FF and it's coming chapters, It'd be appreciated.
Notice : This might end up in couples, but besides kissing there will be NO lemons, let me get that straight.
I'm not fond of writing lemon, as I have never done it before.
If someone would write lemons for me I'm fine with it, but be aware that I'm not going to let it happen often.
As much as I love the couple Wheatley x GlaDOS I'm not writing lemon for them.
That's about it.
Next chapter : Where's the moron?