|HTTYD News Weekly!
Author: Annabeth The Unicorn PM
All the updates on all things How To Train Your Dragon! From Toothless' dinner to new sequel info, this show- I mean fanfic- has it all! Starring Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III and his team of Dragon-riding teens!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Hiccup - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,136 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 01-15-12 - Published: 06-06-11 - id: 7057943
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: So, I'm thinking Sunday will be the regular update day. That good for you guys? Cool beans.
Announcer: Welcome to… Wait, this isn't Disney channel! What have I done with my life?
[Camera Zoom, Astrid is alone behind the newscaster's desk]
Astrid: Uh… Welcome to… HTTYD News Weekly… Um…
Stoick: [Entering] Stop! Where's Hiccup?
Stoick: [Nearing Snotlout] Well?
Snotlout: [Nervously] ASTRID KNOWS! [Covers mouth]
Stoick: [Walking back to Astrid]Astrid, Answer the question. Where. Is. Hiccup?
Astrid: Uh… You see, Chief… He couldn't make it to the show today…
Stoick: And why not?
Astrid: Because… Because… [Stoick gives her the glare] BECAUSE TOOTHLESS IS MISSING AND HE'S TOTALLY FREAKING OUT! [Grabbing Stoick's shoulders] FREAKING OUT I TELL YOU!
Stoick: Toothless is missing?
Astrid: Yeah! English accent and all!
Stoick: Well, go find him, and bring him here!
Astrid: Right, Chief! Dead or Alive! [Exits]
Stoick: No, no, Alive.
Astrid: [From off screen] DEAD OR ALIVE!
Stoick: Oh no.
Fishlegs: [Entering the shot] What? We can't have the show without Hiccup!
Tuffnut: [Entering with Ruffnut] Yeah! Without him, the entire show will be much too chaotic!
Ruffnut: Who will tell me to stop kicking my brother's butt?
Tuffnut: Hey! I kick YOUR butt!
Ruffnut: Sure you do, buddy. Sure you do.
Tuffnut: What's wrong with you?
Ruffnut: I'm too worried to argue.
Snotlout: Somebody get her to the hospital!
Stoick: Will everybody just please calm down! Astrid will be back soon, and then the show will continue just as sub-par as usual.
[Crashing and yelling from offstage, and then Astrid enters the shot, dragging Hiccup by his collar, who is digging his feet into the ground]
Astrid: Got him!
Hiccup: Let go. Let go. Let go.
Astrid: Sure. [Hiccup falls to the floor]
Hiccup: Thanks. [stands up, makes a run for it, Astrid grabs his shirt again] FINE! Fine, you win!
Snotlout: Did you find Toothless?
Hiccup: WAHHH! [Falls on the floor again]
Astrid: Nice, Snotlout.
Snotlout: I'm sorry! I was just curious.
Hiccup: [Standing up] what?
Astrid: I understand what you're going through, [Leads him to the anchor chair] But we need to do the show now…
Hiccup: Astrid, We've had this discussion. I love you, but Toothless comes first. Always.
Fishlegs: Do I hear ToothCup, anybody? [A book hits him in the head]
Snotlout: Nice shot, Astrid!
Astrid: That… wasn't me.
Stoick: Okay, Who threw that!
[Hiccup raises his hand]
Snotlout: Wow, he is violent when upset.
Hiccup: I destroyed a dragon the size of a mountain. I'm not afraid to throw a book.
Stoick: That's my boy! Alright, now that everybody's here, let's get this show back on the road!
Hiccup: But everybody isn't here!
Astrid: On with the show! Up first we have Fishlegs with his segment on pairings!
Fishlegs: [A bit out of hit, with a big bruise on his head] The pairing we'll be looking at today is Ruffcup. A surprising amount of people are openly fans of this pairing. Many stories which focus on this pairing are really well-written with good plot lines… and personally I find it revolting.
Astrid: Whatever, Ruffnut wouldn't steal my Boyfriend.
Fishlegs: Really? Because I wouldn't be doing this pairing if Ruffnut hadn't requested-
Ruffnut: THAT HE DO A PAIRING THAT INCLUDED ME!
Astrid: Oh, okay.
Ruffnut: [Nervously] AHAHAHAHAHA!
Fishlegs: Well, how does Hiccup feel about this?
Hiccup: Hey Fish, If Ruff wants to do a pairing with her in it, and I DON'T, I had an idea.
Fishlegs: Uh… Not intere-
Hiccup: I just happened to notice that you've been ignoring one of the most well-supported side pairing.
Fishlegs: I don't want to hear-
Hiccup: Oh you don't? But don't you want the viewers to be informed?
Fishlegs: No! I mean yes! I mean-
Hiccup: Next week, you should do RUFFLEGS!
Fishlegs: NO! [Hides under desk]
Astrid: I think we're dealing with dark Hiccup today.
Hiccup: He deserved it.
Astrid: Next up we have… Uh… (Mumble mumble mumble)
Hiccup: What's that, Astrid?
Astrid: I said, uh… tthleswekleewrbl
Hiccup: I don't understand you.
Astrid: Um… [Whispering] Toothless'weeklywarble.
Hiccup: Still can't hear you!
Astrid: Snotlout with the weather!
Hiccup: Oh, okay. I was thinking we'd film it outside today.
Astrid: Why is that?
Hiccup: Because it's more professional.
Astrid: But why today?
Hiccup: You'll see. [Camera pan to a screen of Snotlout standing outside with an umbrella, rain is pouring down, and he's shivering]
Snotlout: T-today we have wind speeds of close to five million miles-per-Snotlout-Time, and about six thousand inches of rain. [His umbrella fly's away] I AM IN HELL!
Astrid: I honestly fear for our lives.
Hiccup: Next we have the twins with HTTYD Info!
Ruffnut: Although there isn't much more information about the sequel as of recently, we thought we'd go into a little more detail about the TV show out sometime this year!
Tuffnut: The producer of this show will be Tim Johnson, and it will be directed by Dean DeBlois.
Ruffnut: We'd like to thank all the HTTYD fans who are still with us after just short of two years of waiting for the television show!
Tuffnut: From all of us to you, Thank you!
Ruffnut: Especially because in the words of our wonderful director, "It's going to be quite epic."
Tuffnut: See you soon on Cartoon Network!
[Pan to Astrid, who is sitting in the middle of a field with blood-stained grass]
Astrid: When Toothless goes missing, that pisses me off.
[Pan to Hiccup]
Hiccup: Well, this is the intellectual part of the show where I interview somebody from the village, the only problem is that none of them are intellectual, so I'm just going to go sulk for a bit—
Toothless: [entering the shot] Okay, when do we start the show?
Toothless: What? You look as if you've seen a ghost.
[Everyone runs towards Toothless and hug him]
Hiccup: NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!
Everybody else: Never leave him again!
Toothless: What's going on?
Astrid: You went missing! That's what's going on!
Tuffnut: Yeah, and Hiccup went all Emo!
Fishlegs: And flying books!
Snotlout: And pouring rain!
Ruffnut: And awful pairings!
Toothless: Huh? But it's Two-O'-Clock! Isn't that when we start rehearsing for the show?
Astrid: You mean you didn't get the memo? We stated early this week.
Snotlout: Are you saying that we got put through hell… because the Night Fury didn't know when we were starting final dress rehearsal?
Hiccup: I'm so happy! I could sing!
Astrid: Oh please don't.
Hiccup: Everything is great
Everything is grand
I got the whole wide world in the palm of my hand!
Snotlout: Oh, gods.
Hiccup: Life's a happy song, when there's someone by my side to sing along!
Astrid: Thank you for joining us for another episode of HTTYD News Weekly!
Hiccup: I've got everything that I need – right in front of me
Nothing's stopping me
Nothing that I can't be
With you right here next to me!
All: Life's a happy song, when there's someone by your side to sing along!
A/N: Shout out to those who are still part of the best fandom ever after so long a wait! We're almost at the TV show guys! It's here this year!