Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any characters, although i do wish I had a real death note,...for scientific purposes only of course. o.O

Warning: So far rating is just for excessive swearing and a minor adult theme. This may or may not change if I do or do not add chapters sooo read if you please! :3

There is no other option. I have been accused of being a mass murderer with a god-complex. I can handle that. I have been locked up in a cell for over 50 days. I handled that, albeit poorly. I have been threatened to be executed by my own father. I,while barely maintaining my sanity, handled it. But this is where I draw the line.

"WHAT!" I yelled, this is going to far.

"I am sure you heard me Yagami-kun, and there is no need to yell." The current bane of my existence said.

"I have to be chained to you at all times!"

He's completely insane.

"Of course Yagami-kun, how else could I be sure your not Kira?" Bastard.

"Didn't my 50 day incarceration prove nothing!"

"Of course it did, but I still believe you might be Kira"

This is all I can take. I refuse to suffer this, this, this ridiculous infringement of my basic human rights.

"This is unfair and probably illegal." I'm not going to do this. Nothing is worth being chained to that man indefinitely.

"I'm afraid you don't have much choice in this."

I turned to my dad for help but...

"Sorry Light, but this is the only way you can stay out of the cell." Grr...L that paranoid bastard even has my father on his side. Ugh, looks like its time for my only trump card,

though I absolutely loathe to use this even if it is a lie.

"Sigh, Dad I apologies in advance for your having to find this out at all, let alone like this, but I absolutely can not be chained to Ryuuzaki."

"Why not Light?" My dad asked, although I'm surprised he hasn't guessed whats coming.

"Yes Yagami-kun, why are you so against being chained to me?"

"It's because I'm-" I started to say.

"Kira?" L interrupted me.

"DAMNIT NO! Don't interrupt me Ryuuzaki."

"Light don't use that language." My father scolded. I'm fucking 17 already, and I think the situation called for it although honestly I don't often swear, it seems so unintelligent.

"Sorry Father but I need to tell you that-" I said before L,yet again, interrupted me.

"No matter your excuse you are going to be chained to me."

"GOD DAMNIT! I said to stop that" I am really getting pissed now.

"LIGHT! LANGUAGE!" Great now my dads yelling as well.

I looked over at L who was giving me a bit of a smirk that made my blood boil, but just as I opened my mouth to finally tell my reason, I was once again, interrupted.

"Yagami-kun are you ever going to get to your irrelevant excuse?" He said with the smirk growing on his face. OH MY GOD! I'll fucking kill you, you son of a bitch!

"Shut up you infuriating jackass, I am-"

"LIGHT DON'T USE THAT LANG-"

"I'M FUCKING GAY!"

Hehehe, poor traumatized Light. Nice "fake" secret. But will this work out as you expect it to? Lol who knows, wait I do. :3

Yours grimly,

Twisted