|Afraid to be alone Shizaya
Author: Shizaya1398 PM
"I guess everyone is afraid to be alone, it what makes us human"-Shizuo Heart mealting adorbale with SHizuo and IzayaRated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance - Shizuo H. & Izaya O. - Words: 2,496 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 43 - Published: 06-09-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7066499
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Sooooooo yea hey guys! Just warning you I know it seems sad in the begging it gets sooooooo sweet at the end! I swear you heart will absolutely melt at the end its so sweet and cute what Shizuo does for little Izaya3 this story is dedicated toTsuki ya hoshi!
Izaya sat there in the rain sitting up against an old building with his arms wrapped tightly around his legs and his face buried in his knees. He was cold, wet, sad, and alone.
"I hate this, I hate myself, I hate my life!"
Izaya nuzzled his hood more over his head until it completely covered his face. He was already soaked threw to his underwear and his whole body was shaking from the cold. There weren't many people on the streets of Ikebukuro; the people that were there were all bundled up in rain coats with umbrella's hanging over there head. They were probably heading home from work to their families and loved ones. The people who couldn't live a day without seeing them and would be devastated if something ever happened to them.
….Izaya had no one like that….Namie didn't really give a fuck about Izaya; to her he was just an ATM. She even vowed to dance on his grave the day he was buried and have huge party the day he died. Then there was the other people who hated him…even his own clients hated him and wish he would just die and go to hell. Then there was the monster of Ikebukuro who was probably the person who wanted him dead the most.
Warm tears mixed with the icy rain dripped down the sides of Izaya's cheeks. Izaya was scared…for the first time he admitted he was scared…scared to die alone. If he died no one would miss him…it would be as if he never existed and the only memories of him would be the memories of him being a bastard to everyone….basically his life was meaningless.
Izaya pulled himself up off the sidewalk and slowly started walking, not in any particular direction he just wanted to stretch out his stiff muscles….wait….why the hell did he care how he felt? No one cared about him so why should he care about himself? Izaya collapsed onto the sidewalk again and curled up into a little ball… trying to hide himself from the human world that wanted him dead so badly.
Izaya flinched at the sound of his name…and the familiar voice that followed it. Izaya curled up deeper, thinking that if he was quiet the ex-bartender would just leave him there. Suddenly there was a warm hand on his back…searching for any signs of body heat signaling that he was still alive.
"Are you ok…..you're not dead are you?"
What was that in Shizuo's voice…was that fear? The blonde man slightly shook Izaya trying to get him to move.
"Please…just leave me alone." Izaya didn't care that Shizuo could hear the sobs in his voice…he just didn't care anymore.
"Are you crying?" Shizuo moved his umbrella over the small man and knelt down beside him.
"Yes Shizuo I'm crying…I am capable of crying." Izaya sobbed into his sleeves.
What's the point anymore? It's useless now…trying to bury me feelings.
Shizuo flinched at the sound of Izaya's sobs and the absence of his nickname. He slide a hand under the raven haired man's hood and carefully removed it, revealing Izaya's tired, sad, wet face.
"Just leave…me…alone…" Izaya begged trying hard not to meet the blonde's gaze. Shizuo felt a prick in the back of his throat…he felt all sorts of emotions seeing Izaya looking so sad and helpless…he felt upset because the flea was crying, annoyed because he was lying on the sidewalk and would probably get really sick, scared because he wasn't acting like his normal bitchy self, and angry because he felt so torn to pick the small man up and…hug him like a child.
Shizuo carefully slide his arms under Izaya and picked him up in his arms, leaving the umbrella on the ground. Shizuo was surprised at how light Izaya was; leaving the umbrella Shizuo quickly started walking home. Shizuo could hear Izaya repeating something under his breath, but he could really hear it over the sound of the rain. It was raining pretty hard by the time the bodyguard got to his apartment building.
Izaya tensed up in Shizuo's arms at the sound of the thunder and the flash of light for the lightning over head. Shizuo kicked open his apartment door and carried the small man into the bathroom, where he sat him in the bathtub so he didn't drip water all over the floor. Izaya just curled up again, in the same little ball he was in when he was laying on the sidewalk.
"If you don't take your wet clothes off you're going to get sick." The blonde said who was now sitting at the edge of the bathtub.
"So? If no one else cares if I'm sick, why should I?" Shizuo was stunned at the answer.
"If you don't take your clothes off I'm gunna rip them off you." Shizuo said angrily standing over the brunet. Izaya looked up at him with warm tear rolling down his cheeks again. Shizuo looked at the small mad, wide eyed and a little angry at himself for making Izaya cry.
"I'm…. sorry Izaya…I'll leaned you some of my clothes if you just get out of those wet ones your wearing, you should probably take a shower to and get off all that dirty rain water."
Izaya wiped his eyes off with the edge of his sleeve and moved away into the back corner of the bathtub. He didn't want to feel better, he wanted to sit there in his wet clothes, and he wanted to get sick. The blonde got into the empty bathtub with him and gently started to unzip Izaya's jacket.
"Don't kill me!" Izaya screamed cowering away from Shizuo. Shizuo sat there dumbfounded at the loud outburst. Shizuo grabbed the small man again and pulled him closer; carefully pulling off Izaya's wet jacket and discarding it on the bathroom floor.
"Relax, far be it from me to kick and flea when he's down; I'm not that heartless!" Shizuo pulled off Izaya's shoes, socks, shirt, and pants; Shizuo was pretty shocked when the informant didn't complain the blonde took his soaked underwear off. The ex-bartender got out of the bathtub and pulled the small man to his feet; Shizuo reached in front of Izaya and turned on the shower to a comfortable temperature.
"I'm gunna got put you wet clothes out to dry, when you're done there's towels write next to the sink. Ill set out some clothes for you to wear to." The blonde said. Izaya didn't say anything, he just stood there with his head down and his arms crossed across his chest.
Shizuo left the depressed informant and start rummaging through his drawers; the blonde pulled out one of his t-shirts and a pair of black sweat pants. The blonde walked to the bathroom door at the sound of the water shutting off and Izaya stepping out of the shower. The bathroom door creaked open with Izaya standing on the other side of the door with a towel wrapped around his waist.
"Here" Shizuo said handing Izaya the clothes he had picked out for him. Izaya quickly changed into them and curled backup into a ball on the couch in Shizuo's living room. Shizuo came in a few minutes later after getting out of his bartenders uniform and into a t-shirt and baggy shorts.
"I'm gunna make myself a sandwich, want one?"
"No." Izaya mumbled into his knees. Shizuo stared at the small man for a few minutes before shrugging and going to the kitchen to make his sandwich. After Shizuo finished he cleaned up the kitchen and went to check on Izaya who was in the same spot that he left him. The blonde strode over to the small man and sat down on the edge of the couch.
"What's wrong?" Shizuo asked leaning over the informant; Izaya tensed up and snuggled deeper in the couch.
"You don't care." Izaya said acidly; the blonde rolled his eyes and smoothed the brunets hair back.
"What do you mean?"
"Oh come on Shizuo, I know you're not that stupid! You hate me, you've always hated me! So you probably don't care why I'm sad."
"Well just think about it Izaya, I did pull you out of the rain, brought you to my house, let you take a shower in my bathroom, gave you some of my clothes, and offered to make you something to eat."
"You still hate me…everyone does."
"Well maybe if you weren't such a bastard 24/7 everyone wouldn't hate you, and I think your being pretty dramatic. You have to have at least one friend right?" Izaya just shook his head.
"Hm well…Shinra and Celty are pretty nice to you."
"Shinra's only nice to me because he's afraid of me, and Celty hates me because when I can't find you he's one of the people I annoy and mess with."
"What about that woman who works for you?"
"That's my sister Namie, and she can't wait for me to die…even my own parent's hate me."
"Ok, now that pretty dramatic, your parents can't hate you."
"Well they do, they kicked me out when I turned 18, and when I was growing up my mother used to beat me all the time…sometimes for no reason…my sisters just watched and laughed." Izaya tried hard not to start crying again.
"Shizuo….My life it worthless."
"What do you mean? I know you make a lot of money and have a really nice apartment, that's got to count for something."
"No it really doesn't, most of the information I give out to people is to hurt other people."
"Well…The other day I helped someone's husband find out if his wife was cheating on his…She was and they got a divorce…then the husband ended up committing suicide."
"But that doesn't sound like something you would get upset about, you made a living giving out information to people who need it, and wouldn't it have been better for that man to know his wife was cheating on him?"
"Yes, and I'm not upset about it I love my job."
"Then what are you upset about?" Izaya rolled onto to his back to look up at the blonde.
"Just think about it Shizuo if I died whose gunna miss me? No one…I bet all of Tokyo will have a parade for my death! So my life is pretty much meaningless." Shizuo reached a hand towards the small man and turned him over onto his back so he could look at him.
"Izaya…that's not true, I can think of one person who would miss you."
"Oh yea, who in the right mind would ever miss a bastard like me?"
"Well…I would…miss you." Izaya sat up and stared at him annoyed.
"That isn't funny Shizuo; you've always said that you've hated me and wanted me dead. Why on earth would you miss me?"
"Just hear me out, every day since we've met I've thought about you, mostly about killing you but I was still thinking about you. That was 8 years ago, so you have been in my head for 8 years. Without you my life would be meaningless to. I do have my parents, my brother, Shinra, Celty, and Tom and a lot of other people who care about me but trust me without you my life would just be a boring mess. You give my life purpose and I honestly don't think I can go a day without thinking about you or seeing your face." Izaya starred at the blonde with tears starting to run down his cheeks again.
"Now why are you crying? I just said something really nice to you and your crying?" Izaya grabbed the bodyguard's shirt and buried his face in Shizuo's chest.
"I….love…you….Shizuo…." Izaya panted between sobs. Shizuo looked down at the informant and carefully wrapped his arms around the small frame, pulling Izaya into his lap and rubbing his back soothingly.
"I love you too Izaya, just cry yourself out you'll feel better." Shizuo said kissing Izaya on the forehead, and drying his tears away. They sat there for god knows how long with Izaya crying into Shizuo's chest and Shizuo hugging him, trying to comfort the brunet.
"Fell better?" Shizuo asked when Izaya finally stopped crying. Izaya laid his tired head against Shizuo's shoulder and nodded.
"Can I ask you something?" Shizuo asked as Izaya wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck and snuggled comfortably against his body.
"What is it Shizu-chan?" Shizuo smiled at the sound of his nickname that he really just hated.
"Is the other reason why you were crying because you were afraid to be alone?" Izaya was silent for a while before answering.
"Yeah I guess I was a little." Izaya confessed
"Well I guess everyone is afraid of being alone, it's what makes us human." Shizuo said kissing Izaya sweetly on the cheek.
"Since when are we human?" Izaya asked his little Cheshire cat grin returning to his face. Shizuo laughed and stood up with Izaya in his arms.
"Let's go to bed." Shizuo said carrying Izaya to his bedroom.
"Shizzy can we do this every night?" Izaya asked as Shizuo lowered him down onto the bed.
"You wanna sleep here every night?" Shizuo pulled the blankets over the both of them and pulled Izaya back against his body.
"Yep! You're my beast of Tokyo now3" Shizuo grinned and turned off the lights and made sure Izaya was as close to him as possible.
"Goodnight Izaya, I love you."
"Goodnight Shizzy, I love you to."
I hope that was cute enough! Again I do take requests so if you want me to make you an adorable Shizaya or a super sexy one just send me a PM and I'll get right on it! Please comment! Oh also leave some tips or suggestion so I can get better!