Author: Pit-Trap PM
In an attempt to tell Lithuania that he likes him, Russia gets some help from France in the form of pick-up lines... "I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you."Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Russia & Lithuania - Words: 1,800 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 26 - Published: 06-13-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7080198
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, APH, etc.
Warnings: Cheesy pick-up lines galore and OOC-ness for all!
"I am not so sure about this, France…"
"Oh, come now, Russia, of course you are." France smiled coyly. "No time like the present, right? You've been practicing all the lines I gave you, oui?"
Russia was interrupted. "Bein! Then go get him!"
"But France," Russia frowned. "What if he doesn't… doesn't like me?"
"Who? Lithuania?" France snorted. "Of course he likes you, he practically likes everyone!" He paused. "Scratch that. That sounded bad. But, that's not the point. The point is that you came to me for help and I, oh so graciously, gave to you. Now, are you going to use it or not?"
"Then go get 'em, Russia! Right now or you won't be seeing help from me anytime in the future." France said, his accent seeping through his words.
"…Okay…" Frowning, Russia stood up from his chair and walked away from the other nation.
Russia had never been this nervous at a World Conference before. Sure, he'd spoken in front of the other nations, given his opinion… All that jazz, but never had he done this. Russia was finally going to do something he meant to do for quite a while now. He had been practicing for this for some time. He wasn't going to let it go to waste! He could do this! He knew he-!
"Oh, yes, Russia?"
"Sorry, but you owe me a drink,"
"I do? Why?"
"Because when I saw you, I dropped mine."
-couldn't. Russia knew he couldn't do it…
"France," Russia walked back to the blonde nation. "I... I couldn't do it."
"Couldn't do it? What do you mean?"
"I couldn't do it! I tried one of those lines you taught me and he didn't get it. I'm a failure!" he didn't know wooing Lithuania would be this hard!
"Non," France shook his head, disagreeing. "You've got to use more than one line, Russia."
"More than one?"
"Oui, more! Many different lines too! The more you tell him, the more you'll woo him."
"Really?" Russia shrugged after a second. "Okay then…" With a little more confidence, Russia strode back over to where Lithuania had moved. He was next to a table sorting out some papers, unaware he was being approached. But Lithuania wasn't exactly directly approached. Russia merely walked by him and then proceeded to pretend to trip and fall over.
"Oh, Russia," Lithuania turned upon noticing the fallen nation behind him. He bent over to help him up. "Are you okay?"
Russia grumbled a bit. "I guess, but," he stood up. "Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you."
"What?" Lithuania looked a little shocked, but quickly shook his head. "I-I mean, no I don't, sorry…" Was Lithuania hearing things? He could've sworn Russia just used a pick-up line, but he could've just imagined it…
"Oh, that's fine then," Russia straightened up. "So, how have you been, Lithuania?"
"Okay, sort of," Lithuania smiled weakly. "Work's been kind of rough lately…"
"How's your fever then?" Russia asked.
"Fever? What fever?"
Russia shrugged. "Oh, you just looked hot to me."
"…" Lithuania stared, a light blush coming to his cheeks. This was going to be one long World Conference…
"Excuse me," Russia came up to Lithuania, who was seated and waiting for the conference to begin. "Is this seat taken?"
"Oh-!" Lithuania was about to say 'no', but then he realized something.
Russia was pointing at his ass.
Blushing, Lithuania just pulled out a chair next to him. "T-this one isn't…" he looked away before Russia could make another comment.
With a frown, Russia sat down in it, content to be able to sit next to Lithuania anyway. Then, the World Conference started. America started raving about hamburgers and England began making snarky remarks. France put in something here and there. Same old same old.
"I'm sorry, were you talking to me, Lithuania?" Russia suddenly turned to look at the brunette.
"Huh? Oh, no…"
"Well then, please start."
What...? "Um…" What was Lithuania supposed to say? They were in the middle of a World Conference!
Russia interrupted before he could say anything. "Lithuania, did it hurt?"
"Did what hurt?"
"When you fell out of heaven?"
Lithuania pinched the bridge of his nose, annoyed. Another pick-up line. He decided not to answer.
"Because I didn't know angels could fly so low!"
"Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?"
"…You sound like Belarus."
Crap. Not what Russia wanted. "You've got something on your butt,"
Lithuania raised an eyebrow.
Lithuania's head connected with the table.
"I'm sorry, it's just your ass is so fine, it's a shame you have to sit on it."
"Uh-huh…" Lithuania mumbled absentmindedly.
A pause. "How do you do that, Lithuania?" Russia wondered, looking at the brunette.
"Look so good?"
"…Natural talent." Lithuania said a bit sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"Can I have directions?"
"Oh, I was just hoping for a map at least, I keep getting lost in your eyes."
Lithuania clamped his eyes shut and let out a frustrated sigh. He didn't know how much more of these pick-up lines he could take…. Suddenly, a yell from Germany signaled that they were having a break. Lithuania wasted no time in standing up, ready to have a break from a certain Russian…
"Hold on a second, Lithuania," Russia stood up as well. He suddenly grabbed Lithuania's hand. "Would you hold this for me while I went on a walk?" he grinned.
"I-I don't think I can…" Lithuania pulled his hand away. "I'm sorry, Russia, but I need to leave for a moment." Lithuania managed to take a few steps away from the Russian.
"Wait, Lithuania," Russia called. "You're forgetting something!"
Lithuania paused. "I am? What?"
Russia smiled. "Me."
That was it for Lithuania. Face red, he quickly made his way out of the conference room. God, those pick-up lines! Why was Russia using them? Anyone could tell how terrible those were! He soon found himself in a hallway. Leaning against a random wall, Lithuania sighed. He really needed to-!
"Lithuania? Are you alright?"
"Hmm?" Turning is head, Lithuania saw Hungary approaching him. He gave the best smile he could. "Hello, Hungary."
"You look a little pale there," Hungary cut right to the chase. "What's up?"
"Ah, well," Lithuania fidgeted. "Russia's just been acting a little strange lately…"
Hungary snorted. "Tell me something new."
"No, I mean really strange!" Lithuania urged. "When he talks to me, the only thing that comes out of his mouth is these God-awful pick-up lines! I don't know how to respond or talk to him!"
"Pick-up lines?" Hungary repeated with a slightly doubtful look.
"The really cheesy kind." Lithuania confirmed.
Hungary giggled. "Actually, I don't think that's very strange, Lithuania."
"Well considering it's Russia we're talking about here, it's probably just his way of telling you he likes you. Albeit in a rather strange way…" Hungary shrugged. "That's what pick-up lines are for anyway. Giving people the hint you got the hots for 'em and such." She said simply with a shrug.
"It's that simple? You really think he's using them because he likes me?"
"I know so."
Lithuania frowned. "Well then…" He'd really prefer it if Russia just told him instead of just implying it…
Lithuania walked back into the conference room, heading to his seat. Russia was still sitting in the spot next to Lithuania's, eagerly waiting his return no doubt. So with a shaky sigh, Lithuania went back to his seat and sat down. "Russia," Lithuania said before the other could say something. "Are you feeling okay? Didn't drink too much vodka this morning, right?" he just wanted to be sure Russia wasn't drunk or anything. It could be that. Maybe that was really why Russia was using all those-!
"I'm not drunk," Russia said. "I'm just intoxicated by you."
Nope. He more than likely wasn't drunk. Russia really was serious about these pick-up lines then… "Russia," Lithuania sighed slowly. "You can-!"
"So, how was heaven when you left it?"
"Russia, you're not-!"
"If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"
"You know, you look like a tall glass of refreshing water and I'm the thirstiest-!"
"Russia!" Lithuania finally shouted. "You're not listening!"
Russia stopped talking, blinking a few times in surprise.
"You can stop with these pick-up lines, Russia."
Russia said nothing. He tried, but his mouth only opened and closed a few times.
"If… if they're your way of telling me you like me, then you really don't have to keep using them." Lithuania looked at the Russian, waiting for a response.
"I… don't?" Russia asked slowly.
"Heavens no," Lithuania smiled and shook his head. "No offense, Russia, but those were awful. Where did you get them?"
Russia paused. A dark aura began to form around him. "France…"
Lithuania shook his head, looking at the Russian. He was flattered. If Russia did all that just to tell Lithuania he liked him, then… "Tell you what Russia," Lithuania said, grabbing the tall nation's attention. "If you stop with all these pick-up lines, I'll… I'll…" he stammered a bit.
"…You'll go on a date with me?" Russia finished, a hopeful grin blooming on his face. "Lithuania will go out with me?"
"…Yes," Lithuania managed to say, a bit red in the face. "I… I will… But no more pick-up lines! Got it?"
"Mm-hmm," Russia nodded with a hum, putting an arm around Lithuania (whose face got even redder) and pulling him much closer. "In fact, your beauty made me forget all my pick-up lines…"
I didn't try too hard on this. You can tell by all the OOC-ness. I actually started it a couple months ago and decided to finish it now. It's based off another little drabble in another one of my stories… I just really wanted to write something and, like I said, this was unfinished, so... Hopefully I'll put up something better later. I have all summer after all…