|Lost in This Moment
Author: SuperHeroes Fanatic PM
Random EdWin drabbles for your reading pleasure. Will contain FMA/FMAB/Manga spoilers, fluff, angst, and anything else my mind dictates. xDRated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Edward E. & Winry R. - Chapters: 92 - Words: 50,842 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 03-15-13 - Published: 06-13-11 - id: 7080612
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N - May I make a song suggestion? Listen to "Last Meeting" from the Hagaren Song File compilation of the first anime. If you can't find it on youtube or something, at least find the lyrics and translation. I was able to buy the CD online and after I gave this song a listen, I was full of feels. I don't know of any other way to explain it, really.
Anyway, here's what happened after listening to that song about ten times... :|
Dreams & Shattered Hearts
They held onto each other for dear life, afraid that letting go would only mean goodbye for good. They'd already had their own share of unwanted goodbyes and this would not be another one added to the list.
He had been dreaming of her and this day, ever since he and his brother left to the new world. She had been wishing and waiting for him to return home, but with each passing day, it seemed as though her dream would be only that—a dream. Until today.
They were both thankful to be in each others' warmth and company after so long. He closed his eyes and breathed her in as if she was his oxygen, his source of life. She did the same, taking in his musky scent with closed eyes, hoping for the millionth time that she wasn't dreaming.
Neither said anything. They simply stood in silence, embracing each other while a thick fog erased everyone who was once around them, leaving them absolutely alone, as if they were the center of the universe. To each other, they already were.
She held in her tears, refusing to let them fall no matter how moist her sky blue eyes felt hidden behind her wheat-blonde bangs. She wanted to spill every single emotion she had felt during his long absence—all of the hate she wished she could feel towards him; all of the sadness and frustration he had caused her; all of the lonely days she had spent waiting and longing for him to appear at the bottom of the old dirt road… and all of the love she couldn't seem to get rid of, no matter how desperately she tried. Maybe after opening her entire heart to him, she would finally be free of her emotions and pave the way for something new.
But she didn't know how to begin, she didn't know if she could say anything at all. When she found her voice, she decided to speak the words she had been holding inside for too long knowing that they would convey everything. At least, she hoped so. After all, she had waited long enough and if she wasted her chance, she would never forgive herself. "Edward," she said softly in his ear, trying not to quiver. "I love you."
To him, those three words meant everything. They spoke a thousand unspoken truths between them—the pain, the suffering, the regret, the forgiveness, the love… they said it all. He held her tighter, resting his chin on her shoulder with a small sad smile. "I know," he murmured back. He had known all along, but still continued on his quest in silence, sacrificing his happiness along with hers. How selfish had he been? And how could she still love him after everything he had done? He didn't deserve her, that was a fact in his mind, but it changed nothing in his heart. He wouldn't give her up now that he had finally found her. Not this time.
"I love you too, Winry," he replied in the same low voice, nothing but a breath in her ear. When it came to love, truer words had never left his lips and he wished for nothing more than to stay right by her side and make her happy. For once, he wouldn't make her cry. He wouldn't make her suffer. He wouldn't keep her waiting.
She pulled back to look at him first, tracing the golden stubble lining his jaw line with warm, calloused fingertips and forcing him to meet her eyes with his golden gaze, the gaze she had missed terribly. He responded by leaning into her touch with a kind smile that only few people in this new world had ever seen. She smiled back truly content and at peace for the first time in years. She had finally found what her heart had been missing, what she needed—he stood before her.
She tilted her face up to get closer, feeling silly that she was still surprised to see just how much he had grown. She quickly made a mental note to check his arm and leg for adjustments later, she was sure he needed a few. When she inched closer to him, he met her halfway, leaning down as well. And when their lips met, he was gentle and careful, as if she was the most delicate and beautiful flower he had ever come across with, even though he desperately craved the contact. His lips, though chapped, were sweet as they lingered over hers and his breath, warm as it mixed with her own.
How they had longed for a simple moment like this… his face in her hands; his hands on her waist, holding her tightly; both relishing in each other's taste… Everything seemed perfect.
Yet, when they both parted to meet each other's loving gaze, the sight before them was not what they had been expecting.
His golden eyes searched frantically for her form in the deep white clouds of fog that surrounded him. He yelled her name, a scared and worried tone marring his voice. His fists curled to the point where his automail whined in protest and his flesh hand held four deep marks inside his palm. He screamed her name again, wishing, hoping, for a response of any kind but instead received silence.
He closed his eyes tightly. He knew what this was. He knew what had happened.
When the fog began to clear, he knew his assumption had been correct. Still, he fought against it all. He had been so sure that she was real, that she was there. He had seen her and held her and kissed her. He'd felt her warmth under his own fingertips—
He opened his eyes. The white ceiling was an unwelcoming and unpleasant scene that confirmed everything. He sat up, letting his face fall into his hands and covering them in many thick strands of gold. It had been so real, he was sure he had finally been reunited with her.
How could it have possibly been a dream?
It seemed that fate had played a cruel joke on him again, making him regret all of his past mistakes just like every other night. Nights full of guilt and sadness and frustration. He would never love anyone like he loved her. She was one of a kind—a girl that would be impossible to find, and now, impossible to have.
All of that love he held was useless without her. That love was simply the cause of his despair day and night, and it would torment him for the rest of his days in this world. He knew it.
Edward felt his heart shatter once again.
She had been afraid of this.
It wasn't the first time she had dreamt about him—no, there had been plenty of times—but no matter how much she wanted to see him, she hated her dreams. They always ended the same way: in utter disappointment. They always broke pieces of her heart and soul, pieces that would never have time to mend. She would built up her defenses only to have them knocked down by the figments of her imagination.
But it had felt so real this time. She had felt his warm skin and the coolness of his right arm as it wrapped around her and his lips covering hers… She was so sure he had been right there with her. For a second, she had been so happy to finally be reunited with him. She had actually smiled an honest, joyful smile for the first time in a long time.
How could it have possibly been a dream?
Fate seemed to enjoy toying with her and her hopes and dreams. Her life had always been full of these cruel jokes and twists of fate that brought nothing but sadness and frustration.
He was never coming home. He couldn't.
So why did he continue to torment her with his nonexistent presence every day and night? Would he do it for the rest of her life? She knew he would because she was bound to him by love. No matter how far apart they were, she would never be able to escape him.
Winry felt her heart shatter once again.
A/N - On a lighter note, I hope to update again later today, so stay put please! And I do apologize for not updating in a while. Writers Block plus getting ready for college in a couple weeks plus new music equals too many distractions. Sorry. -_-