|What Kind of Fool
Author: SouthernBelle.Love PM
When tragedy strikes, Draco only has one place to go to save himself. He believes he's safe, but when the Golden Trio formulates a plan to use the damaged blonde, is he any safer with them than he was at home?Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Romance - Harry P. & Draco M. - Chapters: 21 - Words: 40,734 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 11-22-12 - Published: 06-16-11 - id: 7087783
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
This one's a little harder for me to right. I'm afraid I'm going to slip into my other story and start talking about Draco and Neville and Val.
My plan had definitely failed. I couldn't be cold towards the people I loved. It wasn't me. It never had been. Sure, I could be a pretty brutal person, but when it was my friends, the ones I actually cared about, I couldn't hate them, no matter how much I tried.
Especially not when they had come to my rescue, when I had woken up this morning still wrapped tightly in Blaise's protective embrace. Not when Pansy had grabbed me in a hug, sobbing harshly when Blaise had told her what had happened. No, I couldn't hate them.
Now, sitting with them at breakfast, things were… like normal.
My subconscious was screaming at me – 'Remember Pansy's birthday? They don't care about you!'
And I knew that. I wasn't stupid. I wasn't gullible. But… even if it was fake, it was nice.
They were paying an alarming amount of attention to me, clinging onto every word I said, laughing like it was the funniest thing that they had ever heard. It was suspicious and I knew that something was up, but I pushed that to the back of my mind. I forced myself to think that they felt bad for the things they had said and were trying desperately to make up for it.
It wasn't true, but it made me feel better. And I think I deserve a little comfort.
I had spent the last couple night in Snape's classroom, attempting to help him with the potion.
We could heal him. And if he didn't forgive me after that, well… atleast he wouldn't have to deal with being a werewolf.
I yawned, holding my hand over my mouth. It was late.
Tonight was another full moon. Draco forth transformation if I wasn't mistaken.
I could only hope that he had gotten out of the castle, was somewhere he could find his way back, wasn't cold or hungry; that he was just okay.
"Potter," Snape said suddenly, looking at me over his caldron, "go back to your common room. Get some sleep. You've been in here every night until three or four in the morning. You do have classes early, you know."
"I just want to help." I sighed, sitting in the chair to the side. "I want to help. I want him to be safe and okay."
"If you want him to be safe, get him the hell away from Parkinson and Zabini."
Their sudden rekindled friendship hadn't gone unnoticed by me either. Something strange was going on. They were planning something. Something that I was terrified to find out what it was. Something that I knew would end badly for Draco.
"Something's not right about them just taking him back under their wing. Something's terribly suspicious about it and I don't like it, but if we try to tell Draco that, he'll just get angry at us."
"He's too stubborn to listen." I sighed.
"He's too desperate." Snape added sadly, adding yet another ingredient. "He's been tossed to the side and used and forgotten his entire life. He just… wants someone to love him unconditionally. I don't think he realizes that people do. Well, you and I do." He raised an eyebrow, looking straight at me. "Atleast I hope you do."
"I do." I nodded, holding back another yawn. "It's hard not to."
Snape sighed, straightening. "That's it. It should be finished. It has to simmer over medium heat for three days and it should be ready to administer."
"If we can get him to drink it."
"We'll just put it in his pumpkin juice at dinner." He said, rubbing his hands over his face. "And hope for the best. He won't take it if we just try to help him."
"Isn't it ironic that the people that are trying to hurt him are the ones he goes to when he's hurt."
"And the ones who try to help are the one he fears." He sighed. "I guess we've earned it." He then looked at me. "Three days, Potter. On Sunday morning, I will give you the potion in a vial. You have to find a way to slip it into his drink. Once he drinks it, I'll make him come to my office. Once the potion kicks in, if it works like it is supposed to, he will grow very weak for a few days. I'll take him to my room. He can sleep in my bed for a few days until the affects have passed. He might experience some pain – the potion is virtually changing his DNA – which is why I've been brewing those." He motioned to two other caldrons. "It'll help with the pain.
"Now, I want you to stay by his side, Potter. Make sure he's okay. Give him a potion when he needs it. I'll right you excuses for the classes you need and make sure you get your assignments."
I nodded. "Sunday morning."
It was Saturday night. I had told Draco to meet me on the top of the Astronomy tower. I knew he wouldn't come, but I guess I was as desperate to fool myself as Draco was.
I had sat up there for probably an hour, waiting for him, when I heard the door below swing open and heard footsteps on the stairs.
I turned and was shocked to see the lithe blonde looking back at me, arms wrapped around himself.
"You… you came."
"I'm actually interested in hearing your pathetic attempt at an apology."
"Come sit with me?" I asked, patting the stone next to me.
Draco's glare never left me but he came and sat next to me, about a foot away. I could still smell his familiar scent.
"Draco, I really am sorry, but you have to listen to me."
"I'm listening, Scar Head."
I smiled at the old nickname.
"It's true that, in the beginning, we were going to use you for information."
Draco stiffened. "Yes, that point has been made very clear."
"But," I said, looking at him. "The more I was around you, the more I learned about you, the harder I fell for you." I smiled slightly. "You weren't at all the way I thought you were. You're kind. And vulnerable. And ungodly beautiful."
I was pleased at the blush that crossed his pale cheeks.
"We were just… we were scared. I'm expected to save so many people and…" I let out a shuddering breath, leaning my back against the stones behind me. "I don't even know where to begin. I… I can't save all these people. It's terrifying." I looked back at him. "And… we were desperate for information to help. We thought that you might know something and since you were running from your home, we thought you might want to help. But we also wanted you to be comfortable telling us. So we decided to befriend you. Hermione couldn't do it. She wanted to be your friend, but she felt so bad thinking that she was using you. So I stepped in. And then I fell. Hard. I fell one hundred percent in love with you. And I can't get back up."
Draco was silent.
"Please say something."
"So… you're telling me… that you had everything planned out from the day I got there?"
I felt my heart drop.
Well, that didn't help.
"I just told you what happened!"
"I thought you just developed the plan to get information over time! I didn't know that's the only reason you even talked to me in the first place!"
"What? Do you think we were just suddenly going to forgive you for years of abuse? For years of-,"
"I called you a few nasty names, Potter." He spat, his eyes narrowed. "I hardly think that counts as abuse."
"You don't have to get physically beaten or raped for it to count as abuse." I shot right back at him.
I saw shock and hurt flash through his eyes. "I didn't say you did!" He suddenly laughed. "You know, you are an insensitive bastard. I don't know why I even came up here tonight. Really, you should just fuck off."
"Whatever." I snapped, climbing to my feet. "Maybe you should just go back to your friends. You know, the ones who treated you like shit that you keep running back to? No, you don't seem desperate at all."
"Just fuck off!" He suddenly screamed at me. "Get out of my fucking sight!"I just walked away, trying desperately not to break and turn back and envelope him in my arms when I heard his tiny, muffled hiccup.
He wouldn't want me to go back to him, so why would I try?
I just buried my face in my knees, trying to muffle the sobs that were leaving my throat.
I, though I wouldn't admit it to anyone but myself, had really been hoping for a good apology, for a way that I could make myself forgive him. I wanted to fall back into his arms. I wanted to kiss him again. But I couldn't make myself forgive him. Atleast with the others, I expected them to hurt me.
I nearly jumped out of my skin as the airy voice reached my ears. I turned and saw a girl with long wavy hair down to her hips walking up the steps.
I quickly wiped the tears from my cheeks. "What do you want, Loony?"
The name didn't seem to faze her as she walked over and sat next to me. "Why are you so upset?"
"What does it matter to you?"
"No one should have to cry alone. Everyone should have someone to help them through it."
I felt my heart drop. "Even when I was being so cruel to you?"
"The cruelest are usually the ones who have been hurt the most." She gave me a small smile. "You know, I know why you're so upset. But you shouldn't be. Harry loves you."
I looked at her, surprised. "How did you know?"
"He's got that look in his eyes when people are in love with someone they can't hold. That and the boy's head is so full of Wrackspurts it's surprising he can even walk straight."
I had to chuckle at the girl. She might have been a total loon, but she was kind.
"Why are you so upset? Other than that?"
"It's… it's hard on a person to not have anyone they can trust. No friends."
"Well, I'm your friend." She gave a small smile, her eyes still far away. "You can trust me. I promise."
I smiled at the girl. "You're strange. You do know that right?"
"Of course. You are too though. A boy who's been through so much and still has rational thought? That's stranger than a girl with no friends."
"Hey." I raised an eyebrow. "I'm your friend. Remember?"
She smiled, showing a set of blindingly white teeth. "Yes, I remember." She stood, still smiling down at me. "I usually go to the kitchens for meals. I enjoy the company of the elves. Perhaps you'd like to join me for breakfast?"
I nodded, smiling at her. "Sure. Sounds great."
"No more tears." She said as she turned to walk down the stairs. "The salt in them attracts Nargles. You don't want your things to go missing do you?"
That was the first time I had noticed she wasn't wearing any shoes.
I suddenly felt a firm protectiveness over the girl. She was too kind for her own good and obviously tried to see the good in the world. And she had to answer from the pricks we went to school with for it.
I sighed, rubbing my face. I needed some sleep.
Maybe things would get better.
The next morning, I kept an eye out for Draco, potion in the pocket of my robe. But he never came. Nor was he at lunch. Finally, however, I saw him at dinner, walking in the Great Hall with Luna Lovegood. I was definitely taken back, but not displeased. Luna was a very good friend. Draco needed someone like her.
I watched as he walked over and sat at the very end of the Ravenclaw table, the two separated from the rest of the house.
I walked past, the vial in my hand, smiling and throwing up a hand to Luna before I tripped over my own feet, grabbing Draco's shoulders to steady myself. I was careful to pour the potion in his drink while he was distracted.
"I'm so sorry." I apologized furtively.
I was surprised when Draco just sighed, his cheeks tinting slightly. "It's okay."
Luna smiled at the pair of us. She obviously hadn't noticed the potion move either.
I went to my own seat, watching carefully as Draco raised his cup to his lips.
"Harry," Hermione chuckled in front of me. "You're staring."
I hadn't told them the plan. Right now, it just needed to be between me and Snape. If it started to show signs of working, I would tell them.
Once dinner was over, I watched as Snape walked over to Draco, touching his shoulder, telling him to come with him. Draco smiled at Luna, obviously giving her a goodbye, before following Snape.
I quickly jumped up, following the pair of them.
I ducked in his classroom right after they did and Draco immediately saw me.
"What the hell?" he demanded. "Can't you two just leave me alone." He sighed, looking to Snape. "Well, I can forgive you. I don't have much of a choice. But he can burn in hell."
I could only smile at the remark, hearing that his usual fire wasn't in his voice. He didn't mean it. Maybe our little "talk" did help, if only slightly. Or maybe Luna did. Either way, it was nice.
"Draco, we have to tell you something." Snape sighed, "And you may hate us for it all over again, but you have a right to know. We-,"
But before Snape could even get it out, Draco's eyes suddenly glazed over and his hands went to his temples. "Ow." He whimpered. "Oh, Merlin. Ow."
"Draco?" I moved forward, putting a hand on his arm. "Are you okay?"
"My head." He whimpered, growing paler. A thin sheen of sweat appeared on his forehead. He leaned against me, whimpering slightly.
I looked to Snape. "It's normal." He promised. "Pick him up. We'll take him to my room to rest."
I nodded, gently picking him up, one arm behind his knees, the other under the small of his back.
"Hey," Draco snapped, his voice far away and slightly slurred. "Get your hands off me. Where are you goin?"
I followed Snape to his personal room, gently laying Draco in the bed, pulling the comforter over him.
"I want you to come back first thing in the morning to sit with him. This is how you can prove that you love him and want to be with him. I want you to take care of him. To heal him."
"I will." I promised. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
Draco groaned in the bed, rolling over on his stomach, whimpering as he held his head.
"I'll get him something for the pain." Snape sighed, looking tired. "This is going to be a long process."
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