|Malcolm In Tucson
Author: SandwichesHinderProgress PM
Malcolm's family goes to Tucson Arizona, home of Ron Snuffkin and the Gunderson Brothers, who try to keep their secret from them.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,958 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 06-20-11 - Published: 06-19-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7098144
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Let us explain," Gary said. "Our dad has been in prison and our mom left us. We needed to pay Ron."
"But, hiring someone to be your dad?" Malcolm said. "That's wrong?"
"Come on, Malcolm," Brandon said. "Haven't you ever done something wrong in your life?"
"Well, yeah. But I never did anything illegal!"
Malcolm turned to speak to you.
"Actually, that's not true. But I am trying to make a point. Any president would lie about not doing something to make a point, right?"
Malcolm turned his head back to the Gundersons.
"Please, Malcolm," Robby said. "Let Ron stay with us. He's been a great dad."
Malcolm thought it over.
"Fine," Malcolm said. "I won't tell anyone. Especially not my mom."
"Thank you, Malcolm," Gary said. "You are a great friend."
Later on, everyone was over at the house of Ron's friend Glenn. His wife Angela organized a Father's Day barbecue for him. Glenn was now the father of their one-month-old son Gabriel. Angela carried him around. There were some other neighbors at the barbecue.
"Being a dad is great!" Glenn said to Ron. "I can see why you decided to do it."
"I originally did it for the money," Ron whispered. "But I've seen that it has other benefits. The kids have been great."
Craig walked up to them to interrupt the conversation.
"Looks like you have a great kid," Craig said.
"He's really small," his son Peter said.
"So were you four years ago, son," Craig said. "You're gonna have a great life as a father."
"Thanks," Glenn said.
Francis and Piama looked at Gabriel.
"He is so cute!" Piama said.
"Isn't he?" Angela said. "I am so glad that I'm finally a mom. It is life-fulfilling!"
Piama looked at Francis.
"Let's have a baby."
Francis ran away in the opposite direction of Piama. Lois was right next to her.
"He doesn't think he's ready yet," Lois said. "And I'm not sure any dad does. But if you two have a child, I'm sure Francis will do his best to be a great father. And I know you'll make a perfect mother."
Hal stood by the barbecue. Ron distributed some steak and hot dogs to him.
"That looks like some great beef," Hal said.
"Let me have some of that," Dewey said. "Don't worry. I won't eat it raw."
Francis ran up to Hal and Ron.
"Piama wants to have kids," Francis said. "I don't think I'm ready. I've been an irresponsible troublemaker my whole life. Mom was right!"
"I never thought I'd ever hear you say that, Francis," Hal said.
"Listen to me," Ron said. "I've been an irresponsible guy for the longest time. And it feels like I've had these kids for only a year. I didn't feel like I was a real dad at first. But I've gotten used to it. I care about these kids. Without them, I'd be some lonely fat guy. Having kids is not the end of the world, Francis."
Francis stared at Ron for a moment.
On the other side of the yard, the Gunderson's saw a man jump the fence. It was Barry.
"What are you doing here?" Gary asked.
"I'm here for revenge," Barry answered. "You snot-nosed brats are gonna pay for what you did to me. My plan took a year to think of."
"Because you're a dumbass?" Gary said.
"Shut up! I had a lot of ideas that I drew out, but then I realized that I didn't know where to get spikes or bazookas. Then I found out that what you guys are doing is against the law. I can get that guy who pretends to be your dad sent to jail."
"You son of a bitch," Brandon said.
"Watch this," Barry said. "Hey everyone! I have an announcement to make about these kids! They are liars! These sons of bitches have been-"
"Hey!" Ron said. "Don't talk about my sons like that!"
"It's funny you should say that, Rob, if that is your real name."
"It's not," Robby said. "It's mine."
"Exactly!" Barry said.
Malcolm turned his head to speak to you.
"That guy looks like Reese if he had a fohawk. Does he know their secret? I've got to do something!"
Malcolm turned to Barry.
"Hey! Have you met my brother Reese?"
"What?" Barry said.
"That's the guy who looks like you," Dewey said to Reese.
"Let's settle this once and for all!" Reese yelled.
"What are you talking about?" Barry said. "I don't know you."
Reese screamed and ran up to Barry. He punched him in the face multiple times. Barry tried to defend himself by kicking Reese in the shin. Reese kicked Barry in the balls, knocking him down.
"Nice fohawk!" Reese said.
"You're crazy!" Barry said before running away.
"You better run!" Reese said. "My name is Reese-"
"Reese!" Lois said. "What were you thinking?"
"Let it slide," Ron said. "That guy he beat up was nothing but trouble."
The Gundersons handed Ron a present.
"Happy Father's Day."
"It's for all the things you've done for us," Gary said. "Not because we overheard your conversation with Hal."
Ron unwrapped the present and saw Kiss boots.
"Gene Simmons had another pair of boots," Brandon said.
"My boys," Ron said before hugging them.
"You've got great taste in music," Hal said.
Later on, the Gundersons watched Dewey play his keyboard in their garage. Brandon showed demonstrated a chord.
"I don't know that much," Brandon said. "That's why our band never worked out."
"You are very talented, Dewey," Gary said.
"You'll do great at your music school," Robby said.
"Thanks," Dewey said.
"Time for bed, everybody," Lois said.
Most of Malcolm's family was in the living room. Francis and Piama were making a baby in Ron's old room.
"This has been a great vacation," Malcolm said to you. "I'm actually looking forward to the future."
Ron went to bed in his current room.
"Thank you, sons of Tucson," he said before going to sleep.