|Wishing on a Star
Author: balletbaby PM
"You'll either go insane, or you'll die, unless you utilize another option. It's engenius, really. Most people don't survive. Her mind is the only thing keeping her alive." THE END of the LILLY CONNOR STORY is now posted. New Readers I'd say start at Chapter 5, k? Read and comment. Anything that happens in the story that needs explaining (why did Lilly do XYZ) just ask .Rated: Fiction T - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 25,939 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 04-05-13 - Published: 06-24-11 - id: 7115012
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
BTW, "Lilly" is now writing chapters for this story and I'm posting them. Here's what she sent to me:
Hey, this is Lilly, aka "MirrorMirror2". I can't advance my story until things are advanced here, and since this is as far as BB knows from reading my blog and talking to me, she suggested I take over. I suggested she take over my side of the story, since at this point "Lilly" doesn't know more than BB does. Maybe. Something like that. Obviously I wrote the last chapter here. Can't move on with my story till the story here gets advanced. Right now my story is behind this one, timewise. Nothing is revealed there that you don't read about here first, and it will stay that way. Obviously this goes with what I actually remember, and there's A LOT that I don't remember, things that are still blocked. Things so bad that my brain won't let me retrieve them. I'm hoping writing will help me unlock some of this.
And I haven't read all of BB's story so I may have somethings different- but not wrong, since all I'm writing is my own truth. And if some of my truth slips out here that doesn't match it's probably explained in my story- like that there is no Michael in 'this' story for real. Instead of Michael, there was Kristi, my step sister, but if you read my blog about what happened to me, or my story on FF, you know that already. ;)
Moving on with the story-
She'd gotten used to it, it was normal now. So after the morning's assault, Lilly showered, dressed, and eventually came downstairs to sit in the livingroom and watch TV with the boys. It was that or sit up in her room and do nothing. Or sit and think about her now daily life. No.
So now, it was either act as if what had just happened on that livingroom carpet hadn't happened, or tear her mind apart with frustration, or earn herself another assault, another rape, another beating. Either try to create some degree of normalcy for herself, or go insane.
Insane because no one noticed her now silent behavior. How she dared not move without Brad's permission. How she no longer spoke at dinner, how she barely ate. How she dared not ask for anything, or take any food or anything that wasn't given to her. No one noticed how fake-nice she was to the boys, when previously she treated them with open disgust. No one noticed the bruises, her limping walk, how she never made eye contact with anyone or anything but the floor.
But they couldn't notice, with the exception of the mistake Lilly'd made last night, and so it was Lilly's own fault. She couldn't act as if anything were wrong. She had to lie, had to act as if things were perfectly fine. If she didn't, she knew they would kill her. Literally kill her. If she just dared to show them, to tell what the boys were doing to her...but she couldn't do that either. If she told and was not believed? It would be worse than never telling.
As expected, there was no real punishment for what they'd done to her yesterday.
There was a loud bang of a car back-firing outside. Lilly jumped from where she was seated on the floor in front of the tv, and immediately looked behind her out the livingroom window. She couldn't see anything, and the noise was no longer, so Lilly forced her shoulders back down from her ears, and turned her attention back to the tv, trying not to think.
Just watch tv. Don't think. Don't think about anything.
Brad's shout made her jump again.
"Did you just look at me?"
She turned around disbelieving his insanity.
"I was looking outside," she answered.
"There!" Brad pointed a finger at her. Lilly noticed then how the other boys were smiling.
"She did it again!"
"Fine," Brad heaved a sigh as if exhausted, and rose from his chair, looking at Michael and Jason. "Guess she wants more attention."
They smiled sickeningly.
Truly confused, Lilly asked, "What are you talking about?"
His voice low, steady Jason answered, "You looked at Brad."
"I didn't look at him," she explained then stopped short just as Brad yelled,
Lilly screamed, and like a rabbit, turned and bounded up the stairs, terror-stricken. Believing that if she could just make it to her room, she'd be safe.
But they were right at her heels. She could feel the floor shaking with the pounding of their feet behind her up the stairs. Her heart pounded faster and was so loud it drowned out any other noise.
It was like the nightmares she used to have, where someone was chasing her, and Lilly felt like she couldn't move. As if her feet were sinking in quick sand. The person in her dream always killed her before she could move.
But this time it was real.
Desperate she lunged for her door, grabbing it, slamming it behind her, then throwing her body against the door. It had no lock. Lilly tried to bar it with her scant body weight. Thankfully there was a wall just in front of her, used for the closet. Lilly braced her feet against it, screaming as Brad, Michael and Jason slammed their bodies against the door. She heard a loud cracking noise, and suddenly the entire door gave way, slamming Lilly hard against the wall.
As they entered the room, Lilly wanted to get up and run, or jump out the window, but they had her.
"And this one is for getting us in trouble last night," Michael yelled.
So, seconds later it started all over again.
Brad has his hand on her breast, rubbing it as he said, "You're lucky you have us. No other boy is going to touch you. No other boys are going to want to see you naked."
Lilly barely heard him. If she had, if she'd been able to think of anything but her current horror, the need for survival, or the unfathomableness of her current tragedy, Lilly might have thought something along the lines of, "no other boys other than my brothers want to see me naked? Meaning, my brothers want to see me naked? I think you've got a bigger problem than me, dude.
But of course she didn't.
"I thought you learned your lesson."
"No going outside."
"No talking on the phone."
"No talking to anyone."
From now on, you can't walk into the kitchen, by the way. Can't have another incident like last night."
"And," Brad added to the group, "if you look at me, I assume you want my attention. And I will give it to you," he smiled.
This story is almost done. There's only a little bit more that I remember. When more memories surface, maybe they'll be worked in.