Author: bayumlikedayum PM
He doesn't like stuffed bunnies or having to be rescued. Warning; full of bad puns and horrible jokes.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Griffin - Chapters: 23 - Words: 38,833 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 05-01-13 - Published: 06-24-11 - id: 7115732
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N; This is just me testing the waters. I may take it down, I may decide to continue it. It all depends on how this goes. We'll see.
Read and Review! (:
Chapter 1 - Fi(r)st Impressions
I found him in an power line tower that stretched to the sky. I would say that sparks flew as soon as we touched and our connection was electric, but there were sparks way before I even set eyes upon him let alone touched him, and he was unconscious in the first place.
A few hours later, I would be wishing that he had stayed that way.
You could say I brought it upon myself, rescuing him like I did, like some lost puppy who looked really cute and pitiful when wet. And the last thing he could possibly ever be right then was cute, pitiful, or wet; he had small scabs clotting to form scabs and bruises swelling across his face from some fight or another, his face bore an expression of obstinacy despite his unconsciousness, and he obviously wasn't wet, since he'd just been pulled out of an electrical tower. Not to mention the fact that his hair looked like Einstein's.
I don't know why I did it; but the next thing I knew, I was in my apartment, and I had put him on the couch, with a pillow underneath his head and everything. If only he had opened his perfect lips before then and spoken, I wouldn't have taken him into my house and home.
As soon as I was done pulling up his head and sliding the pillow underneath, I sat down in a chair nearby, and I started thinking for the first time that day.
He had to have enemies, or else he wouldn't have gotten stuck in an electrical tower. He couldn't have been diving out of a plane or anything, since he didn't have a parachute. Someone could have pushed him out of a plane, but the chances were, he wouldn't have survived the fall, even with the electrical tower in the way.
So how did he get in the tower? He could be a Jumper; but why would he jump himself into an electrical tower, and why would any self-respecting paladin keep a Jumper alive? That didn't make sense. He could be a paladin, but why would any self-respecting Jumper keep a paladin alive? That didn't make sense either.
The entire fucking situation didn't make sense.
And who was he, anyway? No ID in his beat-up leather jacket; maybe if I was the fucking FBI, I could have discovered his identity by his dental floss or something, but he didn't have any of that on him either, and I wasn't the fucking FBI.
I was spared having to think anymore by the sound of his faint groan. Just a single groan; that was all that escaped those perfect lips. For the moment. There was about to be a whole hell of a lot more coming out.
"Where the fuck-"
"Paris." I answered helpfully before he could complete the question.
He was up faster than you could blink, grabbing my throat in a vice-like grip that wasn't conducive to the notion of speaking.
"Gggguuugggg." I moaned.
"Who the fuck are you?" His eyes were wide, his fingers too firm for my liking, and his stance steady. Adrenaline, perhaps? I didn't like this position.
"Agggggg-" The pressure released juuuuust enough for me to talk. "Ahhhhnnnndreuuugh. Ahhgggndy. Nice to meet you - ugggh."
Apparently he didn't think the same, since his fingers tightened again. Manners, boy; learn some fucking manners!
"How did you find me?"
Spots were starting to appear in front of my vision; and to be completely honest, I was fucking tired of the guy with his hand around my throat as if I was some kind of assassin who pulled him out of a electrical tower so I could kill him as soon as he wakes up.
Without warning, I drew my arm back and hit him square in the eye with all my current available strength, which wasn't much, since my oxygen was getting to the point of depletion. It was enough for him to drop me, and that was enough for me to suck in greedy gasps of air.
"I didn't 'find you', dumb jackass. You were stuck in an electrical tower; I think your presence was announced as efficiently as it would have been through a megaphone." Gaaaaaaaasp. "And besides that, if I was your enemy, do you think I would have pulled your," gaaaaaaasp, "fucking ass from an electrical tower and waited for you to wake up only to kill you?" . "I thought that stuff was only in cheesy horror flicks..."
He fell onto the couch; I realized for the first time that he must have been drained from the electrical encounter he'd had earlier, and he'd been running on emergency alarm hormones to keep him from collapsing on the floor while choking me.
"I hate fucking France," he muttered. It probably wasn't meant for my ears to catch, but my ears caught it anyway.
"It's your lucky day, Sunshine; you're in Texas, not France."
"Yeah. Texas. The state that looks like a huge thumb."
"Just shut the fuck up."
"You shut the fuck up."
"You shut the fuck up first."
"Sorry, honey buns, I didn't realize you owned the place. Actually, I didn't realize that you rescued me from death by electricity."
"If you're expecting a thank you, you can go jack off."
"Oh, I'm fine without gratitude. I mean, who the hell likes gratitude after someone risks their own neck for someone else's? Yeah, no gratitude's fine, it's cool, it's perfect."
"Shutdefuckuppp," he groaned from the couch where he was now trying to ignore me with his arm thrown over his eyes.
"I'm sorry. I forgot your name." I was back to being in a good mood; no one was throttling me, and I was enjoying annoying the shit out of him for the moment. A little light-hearted revenge for choking me, I guess you could say.
"Hello, Fuck Off. Nice to meet you."
The only response I got was the Bird.
Wonderful first impressions; I'd left the impression of my fist on his face, and he'd probably left bruises on my neck from his passionate choking of me. You could say that we had hit it off from first meeting.
Oh, by the way; if you haven't figured it out by now or connected the dots or some shit like that, my name's Andy, I'm a Jumper, and people want to kill me for it. If you have any other questions, you can make an appointment with my secretary.