Author's Note: Hi everyone..this fic is a continuation from the latest HYD story development of Doumyouji's amnesia and the forever annoying Umi. (Around the end of Margaret 9/2002 and after Tankoubon Vol.31) I got so frustrated with what's happening so the next thing I knew, I started busting this fic out. Hope you'll all enjoy the first chapter though I'm pretty sure the whole fic shouldn't be all that long. I don't know when the 2nd chap will be out since I'm working on finishing the 5th chapter of my other fic 'Pictures on the Wall.' Read that when you get the chance! =)

Disclaimer: Hana Yori Dango belongs to Yoko Kamio and all its other respective owners. In no way do I claim the rights, ownership, or affilation to HYD. This fanfic is purely for the sake of entertainment...sprouted from my avid fandom and nothing else so please don't sue! ^_^;;

The Feelings Within
by Téa

Chapter 1: Remember

The early rays of the morning sun drifted through the window lazily and played across Tsukasa's serene face as he slept peacefully on the hospital bed. Tsukushi sat quietly on the chair by the boy she had somehow grown to love and softly, she caressed his fingers remembering all the times those caring hands had gently touched her face...her hair. With her eyes closed, she carefully lifted his hand and placed it on her cheek, enjoying the brief blissful moment where the world around her faded away. A lonely tear slowly slid down Tsukushi's face as she opened her eyes and watched the sleeping Tsukasa, wondering if everything they had gone through would be all in vain.

She placed his hand back on the bed and whispered, "Doumyouji...you will remember me, won't you?"

Tsukushi stood up and brought her fingers to her lips then gently grazed them on his cheek as she looked longingly at Tsukasa. He stirred slightly as a scowl touched his face and slowly transformed in to a small adorable smile. Tsukushi froze for a moment, afraid that he would wake up and shoot her looks of hatred. She often only visited him when he slept so as to not stress him out. She knew what she was doing would not help him in remembering her, but she wanted him to concentrate on getting better.

And I don't know if I'll be able to take any more of his blank stares and harsh words.

Before when he used to insult her, she never minded because she knew he didn't really mean them. Now, things are different and she found her courage wavering each time they talked. Reaching in to her bag, she took out a bento box and placed it on the table next to him as she did every single day in the past week.

"Tomorrow...I'll come and visit you again." She stared at Tsukasa a moment longer before leaving the room and heading to school.

* * * * *

Tsukasa's eyes fluttered open at the sound of movement around his room. He struggled to sit up as his eyes adjusted to the afternoon sun and found a blond haired girl fussing about his bed. Confused, he stared at his hands and touched his cheek absently, a vague memory lingering on his mind. A memory of sitting on a deserted island with somebody while the sun slowly disappeared below the horizon.

When was that? Who...

"Ara...you're finally awake Doumyouji-kun!" The blond haired girl beamed and plopped herself down on the chair next to him.

Tsukasa scowled and retorted, "Why do I always have to see your poor ugly face first thing I wake up every single day?"

"Now now Doumyouji-kun! Don't be like that..." Umi turned and paused when she noticed the bento box that sat on the table. It was always already there whenever she came in and she had assumed Tsukushi probably made it though she couldn't be sure.

Placing a wide smile on her face, she handed the bento to Tsukasa and said, "Here...eat! You must be hungry!"

Tsukasa stared dumbly at the bento and felt the same unidentifiable longing in his heart whenever he saw the familiar box.

Why...

He looked at Umi questioningly and said, "You come here everyday and make me eat this bento...why...are you here?"

Umi shifted uncomfortably and hesitated before replying, "Well...you must be lonely being here all by yourself...so.."

Tsukasa reflexively snorted and grumbled, "Don't be ridiculo..."

Huh...? What..

A familiar image of a similar conversation flashed by his head and he vaguely remembered someone commenting something about loneliness when he came down with a fever. And he could almost feel the fingers that gently patted him, the warmth that he had felt...

...the elevator.

When was that? Why do I keep getting these weird flashes...?

He felt a faint aching in his heart as he opened the bento box and silently ate the contents within. A mixture of annoyance and love touched him as he slowly chewed the poor people's food, wondering why he even bothered eating it at all. Yet amongst all his confusing feelings, he felt a strange comfort merely from the act of eating it.

Just as Tsukasa was finishing up the bento, his two friends Soujirou and Akira walked in to the room and greeted him. "Yo!"

And then having caught sight of the bento, the two exclaimed happily, their eyes twinkling, "Ah Tsukasa, you're eating the lovers bento again!"

"I'm sure they must taste awful but..." mused Akira.

Soujirou rushed up to Tsukasa and shook him before finishing Akira's sentence, "...does that mean you're finally remembering??"

Annoyed, Tsukasa slapped his friends away but softened when he glanced down at the bento box that still sat on his lap. It seemed there was always something that his friends wanted him to remember. But what exactly was it that he had forgotten?

Tsukasa looked up at Umi and appeared to be deep in thought when he finally said, "Although I don't know why you come here everyday and try to make me eat this..." He paused for a moment and glanced down at the bento before returning his gaze back to the girl. "But for some reason, this bento always managed to give me a familiar feeling. Perhaps...you're the person I've forgotten..."

Soujirou and Akira, too shocked to register what Tsukasa was saying, could only stare dumbly at their friend as Umi stuttered, "Ehh...Do..Doumyouji-kun.."

Tsukasa looked out the window, remembering the traces of warmth in his heart. He yearned for it...the gentleness that he felt he had never known before and yet seemed to be in his memory somewhere.

"So I just want to let you know...that I'll try my best to remember you again."

* * * * *

-Three Months Later-

Tsukushi nervously followed Rui as he walked across the courtyard towards the spot where the F4 frequently hung out. She had been eating lunch with the gang everyday for the past few months but today was different.

"Hanazawa Rui..."

Rui turned around and looked at Tsukushi for a brief quiet moment before speaking. "Makino, you're going to have to face him sooner or later. Are you just going to give him up so easily after everything you've gone through?"

"I..." Tsukushi could barely contain the fear that tugged at the corner of her heart as she glanced towards the faint figures of her friends that sat laughing by the trees at the far end of the courtyard.

Doumyouji...I'm going to see him again after all this time...

Tsukushi had continued to bring him bento boxes every single morning for two weeks before he was finally allowed to go home. She remembered the hurt she felt when Akira and Soujiro regretfully told her that Doumyouji had started to date Umi soon after he was discharged from the hospital. Countless times she found herself standing at the gate to his mansion but could not find the courage to go in for the fear of running in to Umi. She had tried convincing herself that maybe it was better this way after all.

It had been almost three months since she last saw him but it felt like years to her. Tsukasa had been recuperating at home and today, he was finally coming back to school. Today, she was finally going to see him again.

Rui stared intently at Tsukushi and held out his hand to her. "Makino...I'm here with you. We're all on your side. The Makino I know is a lot braver than this. Don't forget the part of you that Tsukasa fell in love with. You can do this."

Tsukushi's eyes filled with tears as she silently took his hands and whispered, "Hanazawa Rui..."

That's right, I have all these people supporting me. No matter what happens, I have to remember who I am. For everyone...for myself...and for Doumyouji..

She looked up at Rui and nodded firmly. "Un! Let's go!"

* * * * *

The group immediately fell silent when they saw Rui and Tsukushi approaching them. This was it, they thought. And then their mouths popped open as they gaped at the hands that interlocked tightly.

"O..oye...Rui..what.." Akira and Soujiro sputtered clumsily as Sakurako crossed her arms and stared at Tsukushi pointedly. "Makino-sempai! What do you think you're doing with Hanazawa-san?!"

The words of her friends lost to her as Tsukushi's eyes fell upon the curly haired boy whose back faced her. Everything around her became hazy then and all she could do was just stare at his form.

Doumyouji...

Tsukasa lazily turned around to see what the fuss was all about and found himself staring in to the eyes of a brown haired girl. His face clouded as a wave of confusion hit him and he realized he was getting annoyed when he noticed Rui's hands engulfing the girl's tiny fingers.

Tsukasa's face immediately hardened as he reflexively roared angrily at his friend. "Rui!"

He felt a tide of jealousy raging in his heart and abruptly shook his head as though to get rid of the demons that lay quietly within him. Disoriented, he touched his forehead trying to calm the emotions that had invaded his heart so violently.

What the...

Everyone froze and gawked at Tsukasa, dumbstruck at the sudden outburst. Rui followed Tsukasa's gaze and found himself staring at his own hands that gently held Tsukushi's as the realization struck him.

"Tsukasa. You remember Makino Tsukushi from the hospital right?" Rui returned Tsukasa's stare evenly and calmly continued, "She's my girlfriend now."

Tsukushi's eyes dotted briefly before widening to the size of melons as Rui's words snapped her head up. "EHHH? Hanaza-"

Rui griped her hands tightly and interrupted her with an urgent whisper in her ear, "Call me Rui. Trust me and play along!"

"Ru...Rui??" Tsukushi echoed dumbly and stared at the calm marble eyes of the boy who stood next to her. What...what the hell is going on?!

"Tsukushi." Rui tugged her firmly and strategically placed her down on the grass next to him as he sat down across from Tsukasa.

Tsukushi sat stiffly on the grass as everyone but Tsukasa and Rui chimed stupidly, "Tsukushiiii??"

Soujiro glanced uncomfortably at the scowling Tsukasa and carefully worded his question at the pair. "Uh...when did you guys become..um...Rui and Tsukushi?"

Tsukushi started to speak when Rui interrupted her with a loud yawn while he nonchalantly stated, "Well, it's not like any of you ever tried to remind Tsukasa about what happened in the past. Besides, he's with Umi now isn't he?"

Rui turned his attention to Tsukasa and remained quiet for a moment before he spoke resolutely, "Tsukasa. I made the decision a long time ago that I would never take Makino for myself as long as you loved her. I don't consider what I'm doing right now as betrayal since you apparently no longer remember her. But since I don't think it's right to do this without informing you first...I'm going to make it clear to you." Putting his arms around Tsukushi, Rui continued, "From now on, I will take care of Makino."

Tsukasa stared at the arms that draped protectively around the girl called Makino and felt a sickening jolt in his gut as his friend's words slowly sunk in to his brain.

Loved....her? What is he talking about?! Remember....

He thought his head was going to explode from all the thoughts that were squeezing in to his already crowded mind. Blurry images kept creeping in and out of him as he struggled to grab a hold of at least one of them. But all that resulted was just him trying to rid his head of all the confusion that won't stop attacking him.

Annoyed at his own mysterious reaction, Tsukasa scowled at the couple and blurted, "Rui! I don't know what you're talking about...but I can tell you now that Shizuka is better than this ugly bonbi here. You're ruining the F4 name by wasting your time with her."

Upon hearing those words, Tsukushi felt all the pent up hurt and anger racking her body as she jumped to her feet and glared at Tsukasa. Uwaaa!! I can't believe this baka...all this time...all this energy..

Before she could stop herself, her fist went flying in to his face as she yelled, "YOU BAKA!!"

She stood towering over Tsukasa's body that laid sprawled on the ground from her punch as she spat angrily, "Who cares about your F4! I did not even want to have anything to do with you in the first place." Tsukushi could feel the tears burning her eyes as all the emotions she kept hidden inside of her came rushing out in full force. The dam crashed down within her while she pointed her fingers shakily at Tsukasa and growled, "Doumyouji..."

As she looked down at the boy she loved so much, the tears began to flow freely down her face and she realized the hopelessness of the whole situation. Tsukushi turned away, unable to face him as she softened her tone and quietly said, "Doumyouji...I want you to know that I was ready to love you with all my heart. When you decided to give up the Doumyouji name while we were at Shigeru's island, I was really touched even though I was worried about how you would deal with living in my world. But now...now...I guess things might really be better this way after all. I know you're with Umi now..."

Tsukushi could barely contain the hurt in her words as she continued, "She's also from my world...so I think I should let you know. Your mother had given us one year without her interference when you were still unconscious in the hospital. Now...that year is yours.....and Umi's. When the year is over, you might have to deal with your mother again so I thought I should let you know beforehand."

She paused again and sadly said, "Good-bye...Doumyouji. I know you may not understand anything I'm saying right now, but I hope we could one day at least be friends." Without turning around, Tsukushi walked away slowly as the tears kept spilling over her cheeks.

Doumyouji...I'm sorry...

-to be continued-

A/N: Thanks for reading and please review, ne? This is actually my first "true" HYD fanfic since my other one has mostly original characters and all...=P