|Behind These Hazel Eyes
Author: LPBekka PM
Kurt Hummel is a world famous model sick with the shallow ways in which our society judges by appearances. Desperate to find someone who likes him for him and not his looks he seeks refuge in the arms of the one man who can see him for who he truly is. AURated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Drama - Blaine A. & Kurt H. - Chapters: 24 - Words: 105,815 - Reviews: 934 - Favs: 1,121 - Follows: 637 - Updated: 09-26-11 - Published: 07-12-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7172464
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Hey it's me again :) I decided to share a story that means a LOT to me, it's already completely written and yes it was for my old fandom but it means a lot to me because it was the first story I wrote where people truly responded well and it was so fun to write, it's also one of the few I've finished XD I hope anyone reading this will like it and thank you so much for even looking at it 333 it is completely AU so if you don't like that then don't read.
D/C: The characters in this story are not my own and belong to Ryan Murphy and Fox.
Everyone has the ability to be rather shallow.
Maybe you don't realize it or maybe you hide it better than other people. But there will always be that one person, that one defect that will make you uncomfortable. Maybe you'll sit and smile but in your mind will reel judgmental thoughts.
Maybe the person is ugly or they dress and act differently. Maybe it's something much more obvious, but at some point everyone does it. It spreads like poison and it can hurt desperately.
But Kurt Hummel never had to deal with that sort of prejudice.
When he was born there were no concerns that he was too chubby.
When he hit puberty, acne seemed to avoid him like the plague.
When he reached his twenties, he had a constant gaggle of girls flocking themselves at his feet. Why?
Because one word describes Kurt Hummel: Perfect!
It came as no shock to those that knew him, or at some point in their lives even seen him that by the age of 24 Kurt was strolling along the catwalks of Milan. It was no surprise that for the last few years, ever since his stepbrother and agent Finn Hudson had scooped him up, that Kurt Hummel had won Best Male Model consecutively.
The moment a magazine somehow managed to get the incredible beauty on their cover sales would soar. Everyone adored him. Everyone was astounded by his beauty. That was everyone except one person.
"In other news world-sensational model Kurt Hummel has spoken to media that he has plans of styling his own brand of clothing..."
The large TV switched off and Kurt rested back on his couch, throwing his feet from the soft, cream carpet up onto the leather interior. He shut his eyes and groaned loudly.
There was a reason the famed model had only one mirror located in his home which was stowed away in his main bathroom. Kurt Hummel was sick of himself.
He was sick of seeing his own mug gazing out from every TV set, every magazine on the shelf and even t-shirts. Even thinking about it annoyed him and he sighed, throwing his left arm limply over his eyes as he drifted in and out of tired consciousness.
His right hand stroked the skin of his stomach underneath his tee shirt. He cringed when he felt the bumps of his ribs along his torso. He had gained two pounds since his last weigh in and none of his sponsors had been impressed. He had been on a strict contract with the modelling agency to stay under a certain weight, which he was becoming dangerously close to passing. If he was to go over that, the bastards could sue him for breech of contract.
Kurt sighed as the flat of his palm spread along the ridges of his ribs. How did people find this attractive? He was unable to fathom it. Kurt wanted so much to gain some weight. He wanted to eat pizza and tone up, get some muscles on his arms and rid his body of the bones that protruded from it. He missed how he used to be as a teenager, fresh faced and happy. Now he just felt like some meaningless sack of skin and bones.
The young model felt tired and shut his eyes. He was keen to fall into sleep when he suddenly heard footsteps rushing his way. Opening one eye he saw Finn leaning over him. He bit his lip when he saw the half eaten powered doughnut in his agent's hand.
"Guess who I just got off the phone with." Finn grinned madly. Kurt shrugged.
"Sam Evans!" Finn stated excitedly. "As in the biggest director this side of Hollywood." Kurt moaned. He was too tired to care. "And guess who he wants to cameo in his new movie?" Kurt groaned.
"I dunno...Britney Spears?" Finn hit him.
"Seriously man, this is a great opportunity. Think about it. One cameo may lead to a full part and next thing you're a movie star." Kurt turned away. He couldn't stop looking at the pastry, and the temptation was strong. "Listen dude, this could open up so many doors for us."
Kurt spun around. "Us? Us!" He glared at Finn and turned into the white leather settee, sulking. Finn sighed and threw his eyes to heaven.
He recalled when Kurt's diva outbursts were just a joke between the two of them but lately they had been more than real.
"Listen man, is this 'cause you can't get any pussy? ...Or you know...whatever it is you can't get?" Kurt glared over his shoulder, wishing Finn would die on the spot. He had told his brother that he was gay in confidence. It was to be a secret because if it got out, the only jobs he'd be getting would be for men magazines. The very magazines he kept under his bed, and he didn't want to have to see his face in there too.
Kurt was going to snap at Finn, but he saw the tired look in his agent's eyes and sighed.
"It's just...I can't...you know..." Kurt didn't know what to say as he sat up. "I cant sleep with anyone 'cause they'd blab and it'd be all over the world within minutes that I'm gay and even then..." Kurt sighed and looked to Finn with wide eyes. "I'm sick of being treated like this prize bull. Both guys and women are always 'Oh you're so beautiful' and 'Oh you're so amazing' and they don't even know me. I'm sick of all this shallow behavior and even if I could find a guy who'll keep it quiet, he'd probably be shallow too and I couldn't stand that!"
Finn smiled and ran his fingers through his friend's brunette hair. He ruffled the soft strands slightly and Kurt sighed, looking down at his feet.
"It's ok, dude." Was all Finn could manage. He couldn't really relate to Kurt. He was married and content being so. He got laid a lot and didn't know how frustrated it could be not to have sex for a long time.
"No, it's not man. I haven't had sex in seven months, and that was a chick so it doesn't count." Finn leaned on the back of the couch as Kurt reached to his coffee table and picked up some cigarettes.
Finn refused a cig as Kurt lit up.
"Why don't you try women again, man? I swear back in New York last week Brittany Pierce totally wanted to suck your cock." Kurt shrugged. Sure, Brittany was beautiful, funny, and a nice person, but he didn't feel anything at all towards her. He preferred them with no breasts and chest hair. Dicks over Chicks. He'd literally pick Bro's before Ho's.
"I tried it, Finn. I really did, but..."
"Nothing compares to having a dick shoved up your ass?" Finn let the words slip out then shut his eyes. "Fuck, I can not believe I just said that." A genuine laugh escaped Kurt's lips as he puffed on his cigarettes. Finn rested a hand on his shoulder. "Listen man. You take this movie deal…and I'll fuck you." Kurt looked up to Finn and raised an eyebrow. He snubbed out his cigarette and reached out to grab the youth to bring him closer.
"Fine, you'll do." He said, making a motion to kiss his stepbrother on the lips. Finn's eyes shot open. He pulled himself back so forcefully that he fell on the ground.
"Dude, I was fucking joking!" He cried out as Kurt smiled and leaned back on the couch. Finn felt the red tinge his cheeks. Silently he cursed his brohers sick sense of humor, and wanted nothing more than to hit Kurt as he laughed to himself. But he had to hold himself back. Kurt's face was keeping them both in business and even though they had been brothers longer than business partners, the money was important. "Plus I don't think mom and Burt would approve."
"Relax Finn, you're not my type." Once upon a time Kurt had believed Finn had been his type but…well not anymore and he hadn't for a very long time.
Kurt rubbed the threatening sleep out of his eyes. He had to stay awake. He was modelling on a public catwalk as a special guest in OC tonight and would have to get there in an hour for make-up and preparation.
"How about this dude?" Finn sighed. "I'll rig the scales next weigh in and we can go right now and get pizza before this show if you'll do the cameo." Kurt gazed up at Finn with wide eyes.
"Seriously?" Finn nodded. "You're actually serious?" Again a nod. Kurt flung himself forward and gripped his friend tightly. "Dude, you are the best ever!" He cried, kissing his cheek and making Finn cringe. "No offence, but pizza's better than sex with you any day."
"Glad to hear it." Finn sighed, rubbing his cheek. "Now get your coat and let's go."
Kurt had been unable to get over how amazing that pizza was. Finn complained it was cold and soggy, but Kurt didn't give a fuck. He gnawed on the ham, pineapple and red onion as if his life depended on it. He even felt fatter later on, but far from guilty. More so satisfied.
He was currently having light makeup applied. A number of novice models had approached him and spoken to him.
'You're so beautiful you know that?'
'It's been said.'
Now Finn was jogging over to him as he spoke to someone on his cell which was clipped onto his ear.
"Quinn, I'm sorry...I'll make it up for you later...no, I didn't mean like that...I do not only think about sex!...Ok, how about a meal? I'll take you to your favorite restaurant...ok...I'll see you then...Love you too and...well, could you wear the red dress?...you know, the one with the thin straps...ok, fine it is the low cut one...heh, heh...love you too babe." He hung up and looked to Kurt who had an eyebrow raised.
"That sounded...interesting." Kurt smiled as the woman applied eyeliner to his lashes. Finn sighed and rested his head in his hand.
"I forgot her birthday. I'm such an ass." Kurt shrugged.
"Yeah, you are." He simply stated, trying not to blink too much.
"Anyway, I thought you should know there's lots of camera's out there." Kurt laughed lightly.
"Finn, there's always cameras out there."
"No, I mean like 'camera' cameras. You know that Janis Dickinson modelling agency? Well some of the models from their last season are on the catwalk, and they want a catch-up for the next season. They'll more than likely want to mention that they're modelling with you so they might ask for a few words." Kurt shrugged.
"Ok, I don't mind." Finn smiled. Kurt had cheered up since the pizza, which was their little secret. He was smiling a lot and back to his normal self.
"Anyway, your clothes were just brought to the dressing room, there's a lot of them so I'll leave you to it." Finn smiled, waving to his brother, friend and client and walking away.
Wes Montgomery was talking animatedly as he held his friend's hand, manoeuvring them through the impressive crowd that gathered along the strip of road, which had been closed off for the outdoor fashion show.
"Wes..." Blaine Anderson called out as his friend tugged the arm out of his socket. That was definitely the thirtieth person who has bumped into him. "...Jesus I should have brought Judy."
"She'd get lost, Blaine." Wes informed his friend, making sure not to lose him.
"Yeah, well, you're a shit guide dog." Blaine called, agitated at the amount of people shamelessly banging into him. He had brought his sunglasses despite it being dark. He just didn't want people to be thinking anything of him. Just because Blaine Anderson couldn't see, he could still tell when people were giving him odd looks.
Wes stopped and allowed his friend to stand beside him. He still held onto his hand.
"I'm sorry man. I don't want to lose you. There are a lot of people around here." Blaine sighed.
"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped." Wes sighed and looked to his friend. Blaine had always been so understanding and kind to everyone. He was the kind of person who apologized if you hit him. Even after the accident a few years ago, he hadn't lost that aspect of his personality. Never once had he taken out his ailment on others, but it changed him in other ways.
Since becoming blind, Blaine had been left more vulnerable than ever and depended on people a lot, which used to be something he hated. Over time he began to get more and more distant from his friends and stayed in a lot more. Wes just wanted to get him out for a few hours.
"I don't want to be here, Wes." Blaine sighed as Wes began to navigate him through the crowd again.
"Aw c'mon, Blaine. It'll be an experience." Wes replied.
"Look, I know I'm gay but a fashion show?" Wes laughed.
"There's that model, Kurt Hummel." He replied to his ailed friend. "I hear he's beautiful."
"Yeah, and I could totally appreciate that perfect example of visual beauty!" Blaine called sarcastically. Wes more so forced a laugh. Only within the last year had Blaine become comfortable enough to talk about being blind. He used to try act as if that didn't matter, but over time everyone realized that Blaine would never be the same again. It had been life altering, and it took Blaine longer than everyone else to accept this.
"Do you miss it?" Wes asked as he found some seats in the audience only three rows from the raised catwalk.
"Miss what?" Blaine asked. "Judy? Sure as hell! Like I said you're a shit guide dog." Wes laughed and looked to his friend.
"You know what I mean, Blaine." Blaine sighed and fixed his sunglasses, which felt a little too low down on his nose.
"I miss kicking your ass at video games." Blaine smiled. "Ok...I used to, but...I don't know. Over time I just sort of stopped minding. I don't really think there's anything I absolutely have to see, you know. I'm content with this. It's the way I am and I've stopped feeling sorry for myself and jealous of others." Wes stopped. He never realized Blaine had been jealous. "But I would really like to see you with short hair." He laughed lightly. "Back in high school you looked like the Asian Kurt Cobani and I'm curious as to what it looks like now."
Slowly, Blaine raised a hand and felt the spiky hair. Wes smiled as his friend fingered his dark locks Before he would help Blaine by leading his hand to his destination, but he understood Blaine wanted to feel normal and not have everyone do everything, so he let his friend stretch out himself.
"It's fluffy." Blaine smiled, taking his hand away. He rested it on his lap and lowered his head. He imagined it look like he was just gazing at his hands. All he could see was black. He couldn't distinguish between day and night or anything. It was sad, but over the last few years since the accident he had come to terms with it.
Blaine allowed his thoughts to wander for a few minutes and a smile crossed his lips. Wes was gazing at him with curiosity.
"What's so funny?" He asked as Blaine grinned.
"I was just thinking what would it be like if fashion shows had audio description." Blaine smiled. "Models walks like they have stick up their arse. Model twirls. Model gets picked up by gust of wind because she is one stone weight." Wes laughed genuinely as his friend spoke, but the music started and a representative of the clothing line marched up along the catwalk. "What's going on?" Blaine asked, hand reaching out for Wes.
"It's started." Wes answered. Raising his arm to Blaine's hand, but letting him find it so that he could at least think he had independence.
Kurt was glad when the show was finished. He had been modelling spring clothing with shorts and short-sleeved t-shirts, but the evening time ocean breeze made the night a little chilly so he had been uncomfortable while strutting his stuff.
Finn told him he looked like an ass out there, then laughed. Kurt laughed too before he was mobbed with the clothing reps and random people who had to tell him how amazing he was, and how beautiful he looked out there. Uncomfortable, he smiled and thanked them before he was pulled away by a woman in a red shirt with headphones.
"We just want to get some quotes for the TV program." She informed him. She was from the Janice Dickinson program. Apparently Janice was out there somewhere, but Kurt didn't particularly care. The last time she had spoken to him, he would have preferred having someone aim a gun into his mouth. She had been so full of herself and shallow. He didn't like false people.
"Sure, whatever." He told the woman as she brought him out to where the crowd was. They wanted the shot to be on front of the catwalk. Many people tried to stop Kurt and talk. He heard a few flattering cries from women in the audience. He sighed when he hear 'You're Sexy' being screamed at him. Whoever she was she didn't fucking know him so what did it matter if he was sexy?
"Ok, just stand here." The woman placed him on front of a camera and handed him a sheet. "Just read from the sheet." Kurt opened it to see writing on it.
"Wait, I don't get to say what I think?" He called to the woman. "I have to say what you say?" She nodded and left him to read. After a moment he was asked if he knew it. He nodded and the camera started.
"Kurt, what did you think of the models?"
"I thought the models were amazing." Kurt recited, nodding as if he really agreed. "I think they were very composed and obviously the agency did a lot for them. I'm jealous. Going to an agency like that would really help further your career. I wish I had that opportunity."
"Done!" The woman stated as the cameras red light flashed. "Thanks very much, Kurt." She indicated for the male to follow her with his camera. Kurt watched her run away, but a strange hand gripped his and he turned to face Janice.
"Kurt!" She smiled, air kissing him. "Darling, you were amazing and you looked fantastic."
"Thanks." Kurt stated through gritted teeth. "You look...good too." She scoffed and brushed the hair from her face.
"I know. It's a Vivian gown. I adore it." She stated, indicating to her dress. Kurt nodded politely and looked behind him.
"Well...I have to go. Finn wants me to...well he has another job for me."
"Ok, darling. Lovely to see you again." She stated, air kissing him again and rushing off. Kurt was gazing at her to ensure she left. Janice manoeuvred through the chairs in a hurry. She hit off a lonely male and snapped at him to watch where he was going before she rushed off.
Kurt noticed that the male had dropped his sunglasses. The youth slowly bent to his knees and ran his hand along the ground trying to find them. He seemed to be having difficulty ,and Kurt thought he couldn't see them in the darkness. He jogged over and picked up the dark spectacles.
"Here." He smiled, holding them out towards the youth. He saw the males face turn in his direction and also saw his hand outstretch. He seemed to be missing where Kurt was holding the glasses out to him.
"Thank you." The youth said, still not able to grab the glasses. Kurt leaned closer. His eyes suddenly connected with the youths and he noticed how they seemed to stare right through him. Suddenly he realized.
This guy was blind.
"Sorry." Kurt stated, slowly placing the glasses into the males hand. The youth blushed madly and murmured something as he put on the glasses slowly so not to miss his nose.
"Thanks again." Blaine smiled. He couldn't see the male, but his voice sounded young. Still, he could sense that look, pitying. He hated it.
"I-it's ok." Kurt stuttered. He was unaware that he had moved closer to the youth, trying to see his eyes, which were now hidden behind the sunglasses. "Err...I'm sorry but...are you..."
"Blind?" Blaine retorted. "Yup, pretty much." Kurt bit back a laugh.
"Actually, I was going to ask are you aware that your fly is open." Kurt smiled as the youth blushed.
"R-really?" He stated, hands flinging to his trousers and zipper, which was indeed opened. "Shit! I'm sorry about that."
"Don't worry about it." Kurt looked at the youth. He was actually pretty cute. Lightly tanned skin, muscular frame, and black, slightly curling hair. "What's your name?" He asked.
"Blaine." The youth replied. "You?"
"Kurt?" The model cringed, waiting for recognition. "Hey, there's a model here called Kurt too right?" The younger bit back a laugh as Blaine replied.
"Y-yeah, there is. I hear he's a real ass." Blaine's eyebrows raised.
"Really? I don't know. All I've heard is that he's beautiful." Kurt cringed, even a blind guy knew it. "But I mean you could be right. What use is beauty if you're a dick? For all we know he's a pig, where will looks get him then?" Kurt couldn't help but laugh loudly, and he saw Blaine's eyebrow raised. "Did I say something funny?"
"Yeah." Kurt smiled, running a hand through his hair. He could see the smile on Blaine's lips.
Blaine could feel the smile on his face and the odd chuckle from this guy Kurt told him he was smiling too. He wondered what the male looked like. Was he tall? Thin? Cute? He wanted to stretch out and feel his features to obtain a mental picture, but that was far too forward. He was content with a simple chat. Over time he had grown used to people shying away from talking to him or finding holding a conversation awkward. With Kurt, that didn't seem to be the case.
"So, you here with someone?" Kurt asked, trying to maintain a talk with the male. He guessed he liked chatting to Blaine because the male wasn't prone to showering him with false, shallow compliments.
"Yeah, my friend Wes, but he had to make a phone call." Blaine smiled. "I ran out of credit and he didn't have his cell so he's somewhere close by at a payphone, I think." Kurt nodded, forgetting Blaine couldn't see him. The youth continued. "He wanted me to wait here. I can't really get around that well." Kurt smiled.
"Well, if you want some help..."
"Thanks, but no thanks!" Blaine smiled. "I...I'm fine, honestly. I'm just going to wait here. I'm pretty tired and just want to get home and I'm guessing that looking for Wes wouldn't be a great option considering if I can't find him then I'm screwed." Kurt smiled.
"Ok. I understand. You wouldn't want to be sneaking off with a stranger huh?" Blaine laughed and a cold wind whipped along his face. He could feel the ocean spray on his skin. Sometimes he missed seeing the ocean. Wes would take him there. He could smell the salt air, hear the loud crashing of the waves and feel the cool liquid whip along his ankles, but he'd never see it.
"I think I could get kidnapped by worse." Blaine smiled. "You seem pretty cool."
"Thanks." Kurt grinned as he saw a young Asian male draw close to them. Wes placed a hand on his blind friend's shoulder and gazed at Kurt with parted lips.
"You're Kurt Hummel!" He stated suddenly, feeling Blaine's muscles flex under his hand.
"Kurt...Hummel?" Blaine asked, recognizing the name as the model. Kurt sighed and looked to his feet.
"Yeah...that's me." He confirmed. Blaine laughed loudly and slowly extended his arm. He felt it come in contact with something clothed. With further inspection, he realized that it was Kurt's shoulder. He was glad he found the right spot.
"So, you're the ass?" Blaine smiled. "Ahh...well I don't think you're that bad." Kurt smiled and looked up as Blaine's hand came in contact with his arm.
"Thanks." He smiled meekly, looking back up to the black haired male and smiled. Wes was looking a bit star shocked, but Blaine's expression hadn't changed. He had a roughish grin on his lips. Kurt tried not to look at Wes. It was the same look he had gotten so many times before.
'Hey you're the guy off the magazine!'
'Oh my god you're Kurt Hummel!'
"Wow...I can't believe I'm meeting someone famous!" Wes smiled, shaking Kurt's hand. Kurt simply grimaced and shrugged. He had run out of responses to such statements. Wes smiled and nodded to him before turning to Blaine. His hand was still on the youth's shoulder. "Blaine, we have to head out."
"Oh, ok." Blaine sighed and patted Kurt's shoulder. "It was nice talking to you, Kurt."
"You, too!" Kurt grinned. Strangely he felt his heart drop as Wes tried to move away. "Err, Blaine!" He called out. Blaine looked over his shoulder despite not being able to tell what he was looking at. Kurt saw how he seemed to be looking just a little to his left. "Do you think...I dunno, maybe we could swap numbers? Maybe, you know text?" Blaine smiled, a little too broadly.
"Yeah, sure." Slowly he slid from Wes grasp. He could feel his friend gaze at him as he struggled to find his cell. He took it out and handed it to Kurt to type in the number. Kurt noticed the brail that covered the buttons.
"Cool cell." He smiled, inputting his number. Blaine grinned.
"Well it helps. Err...do you mind not texting?" Blaine asked. "I...I can't read them." Kurt blushed, forgetting Blaine's predicament.
"Oh, ok." He smiled. "I prefer talking anyway."
"Great!" Blaine smiled, feeling Kurt's place the phone in his hand. He smiled and told Kurt his number.
"I'll call you!" Kurt promised as Wes insisted it was late. Blaine turned away and allowed his friend to lead him away. His heart was light as he realized that maybe Wes bringing him here wasn't such a bad idea.
A/N: Again this story means so much to me which is why its here, hopefully someone will like it, lol, thanks for reading :D
Next Chapter: "Shh!" Kurt hushed him. "I'm in disguise." Blaine's eyebrow cocked. He was unable to see the youth in long jeans, baggy, black hoodie pulled up and sunglasses. "Don't say my name ok?" Blaine smiled slightly.
"Ok...Steve." A short laugh escaped Kurt and he waved over a waitress to order some coffee. She smiled and went back inside for his order. He liked this. Sitting outside, laughing and no one coming up to bother him about who he was.