Notes: this is my fic for the second lyric wheel on ffx-yaoi ml. it didn't go exactly how i wanted it to, but i think i can salvage it.

Warnings: spoilers for the game. shonen-ai, which is guys loving guys. if you don't like it then don't read it. i have no pity for you.

Disclaimer: if i owned them i'd build a harem and charge for entrance. but nooooo. square has 'em and they won't let me! bastards...

/.../ -italics

Faint Hope
by fairady

Spira celebrated.

Across the globe people danced around bonfires, laughing as an indescribable weight was lifted from them. They gathered everywhere sharing food, drink, and joy.

Everywhere except the Calm Lands.

The celebration came at a cost. A cost that none of the happy people wanted to be reminded of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The plain was silent. No fiends wandered, even the wind did not dare to break the stillness.

A man knelt next to the sheer cliff that bordered one side. The rising sun glinted off the dew drops that had gathered on his armor. The red robe had absorbed the rest.

Auron watched the ocean, studying the different patterns the sun's light made. The vast unchanging water was soothing, hypnotic. He'd watched it for two days. It was all his numbed mind could handle. It was safe.

/...wind howling as small embers of light whirled into the night.../

Breathing deeply Auron watched the calm sea. Using a technique from his training..

/...gives his life to his summoner. But you failed! Failed.../

..he cleared all thoughts and memories from his mind. It was a way to find balance. Designed for the monk to find peace within the emptiness.

/...dark red blood soaked into his robe, disappearing into the natural color.../

One of the first lessons taught to aspiring warrior monks, was that not everything could be controlled. Sin comes, people die. It was important for them to know this, to accept it. Being able to concede defeat was a valuable lesson.

/...gone. They're gone. Both dead, never coming back...never never...gone.../

It was necessary for the monks to be mentally strong. Necessary for them to not be broken..

/...alone.../

..by the trials of life. A monk must always be in control of themselves,

/...Braska.../

their emotions,

/...Jecht.../

and their faith.

/...no.../

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The world celebrated.

People laughed and danced with friends and family. Joy filled their hearts as they screamed their victory.

In the Calm Lands the shattered remains of a man screamed his pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The construction of the agency in the thunder plains was going along well. Rin wrote a short reply to the engineer's report and set it aside to be sent in the morning. The young Guardian struggled to sit up, looking around the dark room in confusion. One hand lifted to touch the bandage over his right eye.

"Sorry. We could not save it." Rin went to the bed and pushed him back down sitting next to him. It had been five days since Auron had been brought, unconscious, to his agency. "You were found about a mile from here. You almost did not survive."

Rin reached out and tucked a few strands of hair behind the Guardian's ear. The gray strands that had appeared in the two weeks since he had last seen his lover bothered him. "What happened?"

Auron looked away from the merchant. His voice, when he spoke, was hollow. "Exactly what was supposed to happen. Braska and Jecht died to defeat Sin."

"What else?" Rin turned Auron's face towards his. Auron's eyes were dull and far away. Rin wondered if he even knew where he was. "Something happened, tell me. Please."

Auron stared at him and shuddered. "the same thing that's been happening for a thousand years. Jecht died to become the Final Aeon, Braska died summoning him, and Jecht defeated Sin." He lowered his head and stared at the sheets. He could feel tears burning in his one good eye. "Now, Jecht will become the next Sin. Until a new summoner and guardian comes to repeat the cycle. It never ends. How, how can you break a cycle like that!"

"Kutc..."(1) Rin frowned. The Al Bhed had never believed any of the Yevon teachings, not even the Pilgrimage. "Ehcyhedo."(2)

Auron shook. Braska and Jecht had died for a false cause, and he'd been helpless to stop it. Tears slipped trough his good eye, pain flickered through his lost one.

Rin reached to Auron and pulled him closer. Auron buried his head in the other man's shoulder and cried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I have to go." Auron traced the new scar on his face. He was still adjusting to having his field of vision halved.

"Go?" Rin was startled by the statement. Auron had spent three weeks with him, healing. They hadn't talked about Sin or Braska and Jecht again. Rin liked having the other man around, and not just for the great sex. "Where do you have to go?"

Auron paced the room. He didn't know where he would go. The Zanarkand Jecht came from was nothing more than rubble. "I made a promise to Braska and Jecht. I promised them both that I'd look after their children when they died. I need to check to make sure Yuna is ok, and then I have to find Jecht's son."

Auron stopped and turned to Rin. "I promised them. I have to keep my word. I think, that it's the only thing keeping me together now."

Rin smiled and pressed a kiss to the raven haired man's lips. "I will get the items you need for your journey."

He was only going to visit the children of his friends. Why did it feel like he'd never see him again?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Auron looked out over the ruins of the once great city of Zanarkand. If there was anywhere he could go to find a path to the past, it would be here.

Yuna was safe in Besaid. He'd fullfilled his promise to Braska. Now Auron only had to find his way to Zanarkand and find the boy, Tidus. He saw things differently now, he knew about things that no living person could know. If he was right he'd be able to fullfill his promise to Jecht soon. And maybe...

"I promise." He spoke to the city, to his friends, to himself. "There will be an end to this story."

- end -

1. "Gods..."
2. "Insanity."
and there you have it! my brave foray into the al bhed language!

i know it's kinda choppy at the end. i really like the begining, i just wish i coulda done better with the end. the lyrics i was given were 'Reflection' by Tool.

Reflection
by Tool

I have come curiously close to the end, though
Beneath my self indulgent pitiful hole. Defeated I
Concede and move closer.
I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness.
How pitiful.

It's calling me (calling me)
It's calling me (calling me)
It's calling me (calling me)
It's calling me

And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping.
The moon tells me a secret.
My confidant.
As full and bright as I am,
this light is not my own
A million light reflections
pass over me
It's source is bright and endless. She
Resuscitates the hopeless
Without her we are lifeless satellites drifting.

And as I pull my head out
I am without one doubt
Don't want to be down here
Feeding my narcissism I
Must crucify the ego
Before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out

Before I pine away.
Before I pine away. (pine away)
Before I pine away. (pine away)
Before I pine away.

So crucify the ego
Before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so
Negative and blind and cynical

And we will come to find
That we are all one mind
Capable of all that's
Imagine the unconceivable

Just let the light touch you
And let the words spill thorough
Just let them pass right through,
Bringing out our hope and reason.

Before we pine away. (pine away)
Before we pine away. (pine away)
Before we pine away. (pine away)
Before we pine away.