And now, for something completely different:

"Okay everyone, just take your seats in the circle. That's right, let's all settle down and spend a few moments to get comfortable." The skinny woman with wire-rimmed glasses and a remarkably dull, nasal voice droned to the small crowd of women, who all took their seats in a small circle in the middle of the auditorium.

"Now that we're all settled down, let me inform you that nothing you say here will be mocked, laughed at, or insulted. We're all here to support each other and help each other, and childish behavior will not be tolerated. We want to learn and heal, not put others down, okay? Good. And now that it has been confirmed that your checks have all cleared, I can call this meeting of WEPHMSG, Women with Extremely Powerful Husbands Marriage Support Group, to order. My name is Clara, and I'll be your counselor. And remember, I care." She stretched the last word out to emphasize it, in an attempt to get the surrounding women to believe it.

Clara turned to the first woman to her right. "Mrs. Howard, let's start with you. Describe your relationship with your husband."

The woman sighed deeply and sat back in her intensely uncomfortable fold- up chair. "Well, my husband, as you might know, is Geese Howard. Our relationship was fairly one-sided at first, I think. He was this monsterously powerful crime lord in South Town, and I was just this young, foolish girl who thought that being able to throw energy waves was cool and wanted a rich husband."

She shifted uncomfortably. "Well, being young and foolish, I made some bad choices, and I got pregnant. Geese wasn't very supportive at all, because, well, he had lots of women flocking to him, and I had lied and said I was on the pill. Nevertheless, I threatened a lawsuit if he didn't agree to pay child support, and he, in return, threatened to smash me with his Raging Storm. Eventually we reached a compromise of sorts, and we agreed to get married, but only if he could see other women. Naturally, our relationship took something of a downward turn about then. It's IMPOSSIBLE to get him to do anything around the house, and whenever I complain about how lazy he is, the man actually THROWS a Violent Wave across the room and tells me to clean it up! And to top it all off, he's been flung out of tall buildings and had similar near-death experiences so often that's it's led to total impotence, which, naturally, has RUINED our sex life!"

Mrs. Howard took a deep breath, then looked downcast. "And then there's our son, Rock. He-"

"Excuse me Mrs. Howard," Clara's nasally voice interrupted, "but I must remind you that we only have half an hour, so why don't we give someone else a turn to whine-I mean, speak, okay?" The woman in question blinked as attention shifted to the next woman in line.

"Mrs. Yamazaki, why don't you go next?"

The next woman glanced around nervously, then folded her hands in her lap. "Yes, well... my husband is Ryuji Yamazaki, and he's, uh... a hitman, more or less. He'll, uh... frequently do certain "tasks" for money, and that's more or less what he does for a living. Well, I met Ryuji more than 18 years ago, and, well, at first I thought our relationship was a dream. He was strong and wild, never let anybody push him around, and could smash in a window at 20 feet with his Hebi Tsukai. We got together, but now I know that he was just after me for my money, as my father was a very wealthy and influential man."

She sighed and lolled her head back. "I was so naive then. All the signs were there: he was frequently borrowing money and never paying it back, expensive objects around the house constantly disappeared, he tore up the prenuptial agreement and threw my father out the window-he was the one who demanded Ryuji sign it-sigh... soon we got married, and I was ecstatic when I found out I was pregnant. I thought he was too, except that the day after I told him, he said he was going out for groceries, and I haven't seen him since, and, well..." she trembled slightly, "I'm... beginning to suspect he's not coming back..."

The other women stared at her. Clara sighed. "Have you considered seeing other men? The best thing for a failed relationship is to bounce back into a strong, healthy one."

Mrs. Yamazaki gasped, horrified. "Me?! I'm a married woman! What would Hashiru think if his mother started cheating on his father?! How dare you even suggest it!?"

Clara gave her a half-lidded stare. "Riiiiiiight. Well, whatever you think is best."

She turned to the next woman. "I think we have time for one more. Mrs. Kusanagi, your thoughts?"

Yuki nodded, then looked down. "Well... I suppose I don't have any REAL problems. I mean, Kyo's okay to be around, and he's thoughtful, even if he's away an awful lot."

Clara rested her chin in her palm. "But?"

Yuki started fidgeting. "It's just... everyone thinks it's so great to be Kyo Kusanagi's wife, you know? He's pretty much the most powerful fighter out there... heck, that huge, shadowy, underground operation pretty much destroyed itself just trying to clone him! But nobody thinks of the downside. I mean, what with his huge fanbase, it's up to ME to fend off the other women..."

Clara shook her head. "I get the feeling that this isn't the full extent of your problem. I want you to feel like you can tell us ANYTHING. We're your friends, and we're here to help you." The other women around Yuki nodded.

She scratched the back of her head. "Well..."

"Besides, you already paid, and we only have 5 minutes left." Clara added.

Yuki relented. "You see, it's our sex life. Not that he's bad, but... sometimes Kyo has... 'accidents'."

Clara nodded. "Good. Go on."

"I mean, he insists that he'll handle it in time, with enough practice, but... well... you see, when Kyo reaches pre-orgasm, he tends to... lose control."

Clara raised an eyebrow.

"We've already had to line the sheets and blankets with asbestos, and he insists he'll get it under control, but last month I had to go to the hospital due to 1st degree burns!" Yuki lowered her head and sighed deeply.

Clara nodded. "Okay then. Well, we're out of time for now, but when we get together again next week, we'll introduce Mrs. Bernstein and Mrs. Bison. Mrs. Bernstein's husband Rugal, if you didn't already know, passed away a few years ago and she's currently having trouble with her son, and Mrs. Bison believes her husband has issues with megalomania. Goodnight, everyone."

Meanwhile, outside...

Two men were waiting in the parking lot outside the auditorium. The first one is dressed in a red military uniform, and is standing ramrod straight, arms crossed, in front of a black SUV with 'Shadowloo' painted on the side. The other is dressed in a pressed white Japanese shirt and wide- legged pants, and is sitting cross-legged on the hood of a BMW.

"It's not that I really mind her going to these things," the man in the red continued, "if she wants to waste her time on this useless drivel, that's her business, but I don't see why I have to drive the carpool! And then she makes me wait outside, while back home my plans for my massive inter-continental missile launching facility are just lying on my desk, unfinished. The woman has no respect at all for my work!"

The other man nodded, and took a burger out the bag marked 'McDonald's' in his lap. "I hear you, Bison. You give a woman a good home, a stable income, and then you take a couple of weeks off to crush your enemies, or perhaps sponsor a tournament with the underlying intent of world domination, and BAM! You get back home, and next thing you know, she's spending YOUR money so she can complain about you to other people." He stopped talking and shook his head disgustedly before taking a huge bite out of the cheeseburger.

M. Bison inclined his head in agreement. "Indeed, Howard, indeed. Feh! I should have this whole association assassinated!"

Geese chuckled as he swallowed. "Heh. Yeah, do us all a favor. French fry?"

"Yes, thank you."

Pointless omake? Or spooky, all-important foreshadowing?

Now, the fic you've all been waiting for!

Yagami 1/2

A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover

by Black Dragon

/anime2/fanficlair/index.html

Ranma 1/2 is owned by the prosperous, well-known, and all-powerful Rumiko Takahashi. King of Fighters is owned by SNK. You cannot sue me, for I am like the wind. I have no source, and I have no destination. You cannot see me, and yet, I am everywhere. I have no form, yet if I push you, you'll... feel a slight breeze. Well, enough of this.

Chapter 2

The Obligatory "Introduction to the Tendos" Chapter

Ranma looked up into the sky, shielding her eyes from the rain as the downpour continued. However, she only cleared the soaked red hair from her vision to see the endless waves of stormclouds roiling overhead. Heaving a deep sigh, she lowered her head and quickened her pace to keep up with her father.

Up until a few weeks ago, Iori would have looked at his son in concern at hearing such a depressed, hopeless noise, but after a more than a month of it, he had learned to tune it out. Ranma still hadn't learned to accept what he was, or what he had become.

Ranma looked up slightly, and stared listlessly at the large white crescent moon adorning the elder Yagami's sodden jacket, occasionally hidden by the swaying of the giant backpack that Iori carried over one shoulder. As usual, her father was ignoring the elements, and would as soon walk in rain and slick mud as sunshine and baked dirt. Her father. Immovable. Unflappable. Invincible. Everything that she was not. And would never be, she knew now.

Ranma resisted the urge to sigh again. Her father had been sympathetic to her plight at first, or at least as sympathetic as Iori ever got, but Ranma knew that recently he had been getting increasingly annoyed by her moping. She was feeling sorry for herself, he had said. And Iori was right. But she couldn't help it, and that just made her even more pathetic. More pitiful. But she wouldn't get pity, and she didn't want pity, however she acted.

But she still couldn't buckle down and live with it, whatever her father said. Yet another failure to add to her recently expanded list.

"Ranma, this way." Ranma didn't look up at her father's back, following the voice as easily as her sight would have allowed her, and never taking her eyes off the slick gravel before her feet. Her father said they were going to see an old friend of his, and had mentioned that he had some daughters. Not that she cared. One more stop was simply more time before they had to go home. Before she faced the shame of her mother's judgement.

She might have cried, but she had no tears left. It was pointless now, anyway.

"Shouldn't we get some hot water?" After the... incident... that had followed her curse, they had learned about the condition's temporary cure. Ranma had calmed down significantly since then, but the curse still marked an ugly stain on her life, a taint, though not nearly so great a taint as the other which she had discovered just a month ago...

That she shared this other trait with her father hardly eased her shame. Iori was immovable, patient, and hard. She was simply not. She had lost control, and considering the consequences, that was a failure on par with losing her manhood. Or half of it, or whatever.

Iori looked back at his son-turned-daughter momentarily. "It wouldn't do you any good in this rain. You can change back when we get there. There's no point in hiding it, anyway." He turned back to the streets, hands in his pockets, seemingly ignorant of the pounding downpour.

Ranma nodded her acceptance, and swallowed another sigh. She never thought she'd truly get over her curse-either of them-but she could at least stop whining about it. She owed her father THAT much.

A passing car hit a puddle and sent a wave of water over them, but they paid no mind. Their clothes already held as much water as they could soak up; the skin underneath was already as frigid as the water that hammered it.

At last Iori stopped and looked up at the large wooden double-doors, his sodden red hair sticking to the sides of his head. Ranma looked up as well, and pushed back her own fiery locks out of her eyes.

Tendo Training Hall. Challengers please enter through the back.

Ranma looked at her father, her large black jacket overwhelming her small frame. Iori nodded, and opened the door, pushing aside the 40-pound wooden gates as easily as if they had been made of plywood and paper.

Ranma followed her father up the rock walkway, several of the stepping stones just submerged below murky water.

They stopped under the porch, relieved of the battering rain for the first moment in 7 hours.

Iori sighed, partially with regret, partially with resignation, and knocked.

Soun Tendo, for a wonder, did not go into half-hysterical waterworks as he read the postcard before him. It was a cheap picture of a panda eating bamboo on the front, and on the back was an ambiguous message written with a straight, simple hand.

Bringing Ranma from China. There are complications. I'll explain when we get there. Iori Yagami.

Soun stared at it, considering. Iori Yagami. The only man who he and Genma had ever feared as much as the Master. Coming here. On one hand, that in itself was a reason to cry. But on the other hand, Iori had brought his son, who was to marry one of his daughters and carry on the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts. Which was the only union of the schools that was going to happen, as Genma's love life had taken a severe downwards turn, and he looked to spend the rest of his life hauling crates in Tokyo Bay. That too (Ranma's arrival, not Genma's fate), was a reason to cry. The conflict was that one brought brought tears of terror, and the other weepings of joy. Resolving the conflict within his head, Soun nodded, and suddenly a torrent of sobs broke, while his face remained the picture of neutrality.

Nabiki strode into the room, confused to find tears streaming down her father's stoic face.

"What's up Daddy? Something wrong?"

Soun turned in surprise, and his expression broke into a smile. "Ah, Nabiki. Just who I wanted to see. Could you bring your sisters in here please? I have an announcement to make."

"AN ENGAGEMENT?!" Akane Tendo stood up in a fury, glaring daggers at her father. "What do you mean, 'engagement'?!"

Soun Tendo took the shouting in stride. "An old friend of mine will be stopping by soon. We, uh... trained together, a little bit. If one of you were to marry his son, Ranma, then the Tendo and Yagami schools would be joined. It was a decision made right before you were born, Akane."

This didn't help her temper one little bit. "How could you do this? Don't we get any say in who we marry?!"

Nabiki sighed. "Arranged marriages are SO old-fashioned. Oh well. Is he cute, at least?"

Kasumi put a hand to her cheek. "Oh my. I hope he's not younger than me. Younger men are so... young."

Akane sat back down and fumed. "I'll bet he's a pervert. All boys are perverts!"

Nabiki looked up at her father. "Hey, what kind of guy IS this Ranma?"

Soun smiled at them, though it was betrayed by the sweatdrop that crawled down his head. "I have no idea."

"You..." Akane started.

"Have no..." Nabiki stared incredulously.

"Idea?" Kasumi finished, and then followed up with an, "Oh my."

Soun's sweatdrop grew. "I've never met him." Uh-oh. Akane didn't look happy about that response.

Toonk Toonk Toonk Everybody's thoughts froze at the knock.

Nabiki shot up. "Ooh! It must be Ranma!"

Soun was all too glad to grasp the excuse to leave the table. "Ah! Yes, Yagami must've arrived!"

Kasumi followed them worriedly, leaving Akane alone at the table to fume. "Oh dear. I hope he's not younger than me."

Soun outpaced his daughter, and quickly opened the door. And thus was greeted to a sight he really wouldn't mind never witnessing again. Iori Yagami stood in all his cold, deadly glory, dripping wet, hands jammed in his pockets, and a soaked fan of red hair shielding his eyes. For which Soun was all the more grateful. A badly timed bolt of lightning flashed in the distance behind the elder Yagami, making the scene all the more frightening for the poor man.

Despite his hair sticking straight out of his head from sheer terror, Soun still managed to resist his instinctual urge to get on his knees and beg for mercy, instead spreading his arms as if for a hug. "Yagami! Old friend!" Soun didn't budge an inch further; he wasn't sure he could have, had he actually intended to embrace the man.

Iori nodded. "Tendo. It's been a long time."

Nabiki gave an internal shiver at the sight, and then walled off her initial uneasiness. Looking at him without thinking about all the 'dangerous' warnings he was giving off, Nabiki was pleased to see that he was actually very attractive. This obviously wasn't Ranma, though, as the redhead had to be just a few years younger than her own father. Catching another flash of red, she noticed the large brown backpack she could see behind the edges of Iori's large frame, and a red pigtail sticking out, the hue exactly the same as the man before her.

Iori and Soun stood there a few more moments, neither saying a word or budging a centimeter. Nabiki was about to make a cutting, witty remark, when Kasumi reached the doorway. "Oh my! You're soaking wet! Please, come in!"

Iori nodded. "Thank you. Come on Ranma." They both shrugged of their backpacks, and Iori stepped inside, his shoes making soft, squishy noises as water was forced out of them.

Nabiki got her first look at Ranma. "Ooh, he IS cute!" The features around the face seemed a tad feminine, but still very attractive. The only thing she found odd was how much slighter Ranma's body was when compared to Iori's.

Her view was soon blocked, however, when Soun Tendo weaved around his old 'friend' and zeroed in on his future son-in-law. "You must be Ranma!" Glomp

Nabiki made a slightly disgusted noise as streams of water came pouring off the shorter redhead, due to the sheer amount of pressure forcing the moisture out of Ranma's soggy jacket. She shot a glance at Iori, and saw the older man staring expressionlessly at her father, still dripping wet. Like he was waiting for something...

Suddenly, Soun backed out of the hug, and held Ranma at arm's length. Then he simply popped open the heavy jacket, revealing another soaked garment that clung very well to two obvious protrusions.

Nabiki walked up to Ranma, and frowned before turning toward her father.

"'He' is a girl." She deadpanned.

Thud the Tendo patriarch was out like a light.

Iori shook his head. Still the spineless, unstable fool he'd always been. Actually, Soun seemed a little worse than he remembered.

Ranma stood staring at the fallen man, her face as blank as her father's.

Kasumi, at least, was a stable island in the midst of disaster, for which everyone was thankful. "Oh dear, father fainted. We should get him into the living room."

Soun awakened to see Iori's cold eyes staring down into his, and immediately wished he were unconsciouss again. Then the last few minutes came back to him, and he still wished he was unconscious, but at least had something to say now that he was awake.

"Yagami! You said you had a SON!"

The redhead leaned back, lines of water still running down his clothes. "It's a long story."

Kasumi shook her head. "Poor father. He's so disappointed."

Nabiki shot her a look. "You think HE'S disappointed! Some fiancee this is!!" She squeezed Ranma's ample breast for emphasis.

Ranma might've told her to knock it off, but one word had caught his attention. "What? Fiancee?"

Iori slowly turned to look at her. "Not quite. I'll take care of it." Ranma nodded dubiously, and then winced as Nabiki gave her bosom another squeeze.

"Nabiki! Stop that! She's our guest!" The girl with the long black hair wearing a gi stepped up next to Ranma as the middle daughter rolled her eyes.

Ranma blinked as the girl smiled at her. "I'm Akane. Do you want to be friends?"

Ranma could only stare. Friends? She was offering to be her friend? Nobody had offered her friendship of any kind since the Amazone village. Strange. It was only a month ago, and yet it seemed ages since she had...

'No,' Ranma thought, 'it's over and done with, and I've left it all behind. Maybe... maybe it's time for a new start.'

"Sure." Ranma looked up at her and smiled slightly.

"Come on! I'll show you the dojo!" The redhead nodded and followed.

Nabiki turned back to her father as the Tendo patriarch's crying fit started winding down.

"But Yagami! What is this? I'm positive you said Ranma was a boy!"

Iori stood up slowly. "I'll explain everything. Come on."

The taller man started walking out of the living room, still dripping trails of water. Soun looked after him tearfully for a moment, then gathered his meager fragments of courage and followed.

Kasumi put a hand to her mouth in worry. "Oh dear. I wonder if I should get Mr. Yagami a towel. He must be very cold."

Nabiki shook her head and took a cracker from a small jar on the table. "I swear, it's creepy. The guy's dripping wet and he acts like he doesn't even notice. I wish I knew what was going on, though."

Kasumi could only sigh at that. She should probably get the bath ready; Ranma, at least, wasn't ignorant of the cold, and she could use a hot soak.

"You study kempo, right?" Akane led Ranma into the center of the dojo, and then turned around.

Ranma shrugged as she looked around, causing the collar of her large jacket to engulfe her head for a moment. "Eh, a little."

Akane smiled. "Wanna spar?"

Ranma looked at her for a moment, then shook her head. "Sure, I guess."

Akane took a stance, and waited. And Ranma stood there, hands in her pockets, and waited back.

Akane got tired of this rather quickly. "Well? Come on!"

Ranma blinked. "You want me to attack first?"

Akane shook her head. "You're not even ready! You're not in a stance or anything! At least take off your jacket!"

Ranma seemed surprised at the statement, and took one hand out to pull it a little closer around herself. "Nah. If it's all right with you, I'll just leave it on."

Akane stared for a moment, then sighed. How had this girl been training for so long without learning the basics? "All right, but don't say I didn't warn you!"

She decided to start out easy, with a simple light haymaker.

Ranma didn't even move as the fist closed with her face.

Pap

Until the very last moment, when her hand that was holding the jacket whipped out and caught Akane's attack easily, flat in the palm.

Akane was surprised at the lazy defense, but gave a mental shrug and increased her efforts.

Punch after punch flew toward the sodden redhead, but she barely gave any attention to the fight as her hands blocked each strike effortlessly.

Akane gave a slight growl. This girl was playing with her! "All right, now it's for real!"

Akane feigned a right hook, then spun and lashed out with a roundhouse, putting her full strength into the attack.

Ranma ignored the obvious feint, and backhanded the incoming kick, negating all the force behind it, and knocking Akane completely off- balance. She fell to the floor with a loud thumping noise.

Groaning in pain and no little amount of humiliation, Akane tried to get up, only to feel some pressure on her back. Twisting her neck, she could see Ranma holding her down with a booted foot on her back.

Ranma smiled, if ever so slightly. "Does this mean I win?"

Akane struggled for a moment, then laughed a little bit. "Yeah. You're really good!" Ranma helped her up, and Akane turned away slightly. "You know, I'm really glad you're a girl."

THAT got Ranma's attention. "Huh?"

Akane smiled at her. "I'd really hate to lose to a guy!" With that, the youngest Tendo girl walked out of the dojo.

Ranma stood in the center of the room, staring after her.

"Well, THAT isn't good," she concluded, then left herself

As she entered the hallway, the older girl with long brown hair tied in a ponytail halfway down her back appeared before her, and handed Ranma a short stack of towels.

"I thought you might like a bath. You're soaking wet." The older girl smiled broadly at her, and seemed to radiate a sweet warmth that Akane had sorely lacked.

Ranma smiled with genuine warmth. "Thanks."

This was nice, really. He hadn't been treated as anything more than a wanderer or prisoner since...

Ranma shook his head to clear it, and headed towards the bath.

Nabiki peeked into her father's room for a moment, curious as to the meeting between the strange man and her father. Her eavesdropping was short-lived, however, as Iori turned to face her as soon as she had a good look.

Offering an embarrassed shrug, she walked away from the room. She could still hear her father sobbing; wailing about the 'perils of a martial artist'.

She almost bumped into her little sister in the hall.

"Geez sis, what happened to you?" She didn't look bad, but her face looked like it had hit something flat, and she had a very conspicuous boot print on the back of her gi.

Akane laughed nervously. "Oh, just a little bit of practice."

Nabiki nodded absently. "I saw Kasumi filling up the bath earlier. You should go take one."

Akane nodded to her older sister, and descended the stairs.

Ranma finished his long soak, and slowly got up out of the furo.

Then he stopped, and raised a hand in front of his eyes.

"Do I really want to go out like this?" He frowned. "Well, they will find out eventually, but still..."

Akane's words echoed in his head. 'I'd really hate to lose to a guy!' He winced, then stood up fully in the water.

Creak Ranma's head spun toward the bathroom door, and his eyes widened as a sweatdrop rolled down his head.

Akane stared back at him, frozen like a deer in the headlights, a towel her only shield against her nudity.

Very slowly, she straightened, and then turned around and walked out, calmly shutting the door behind her.

Ranma blinked, and stepped out of the tub. Then he stared at the bathroom door and scratched the back of his head. "Huh. Well, that could have gone worse."

It was about then that he was knocked to the floor by an ear-piercing scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Nabiki and Kasumi started in surprise, then turned around as Akane sped down the stairs and picked up the dining room table.

"I'll kill him! That's what I'll do! I'll smash him with this!"

Nabiki blinked. "Something wrong Akane?"

The youngest Tendo whipped around to look at her sister. "There's a pervert in the bathroom!"

Nabiki blinked again, and motioned for Akane to put the table back down. Her snacks were still on it, after all. "Why didn't you just kill him with your bare hands?"

"Because I got scared!"

"Uh... 'scuse me..."

Nabiki, Kasumi, and Akane all turned around at the voice, and beheld a young man with raven black hair wearing the same gray slacks, boots, and black jacket that they had seen on the girl earlier. Iori and Soun walked into the room, and former nodded upon seeing Ranma's state.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable being the center of attention, Ranma scratched the back of his head nervously. "Um... I'm Ranma Yagami. Sorry about all this."

"-And so after he got out, he was a girl. The curse works with water. Cold water changes him into a girl, and hot water changes him back." Iori sipped his tea, seemingly oblivious to all the disbelieving stares he was getting from the three girls.

Ranma sighed. Iori had left out any kind of reference to the... incident that had followed his dip in the spring. Which was for the best, but it just meant one more thing he had to hide.

Soun choked back a sob. "The legendary training grounds of Jusenkyou. Until now, its horrors have been shrouded in mystery!" Soun clapped a hand on Iori's shoulder. "My friend, you have truly suffered great tragedy!" Iori shot him a half-lidded stare, and Soun's hand jerked back.

The dark haired man chuckled, and then turned to Ranma. "Well now, your problem's not so bad!"

He gestured to the girl with long brown hair. "This is Kasumi. She's 19."

Next came the girl with short brown hair. "This is Nabiki, she's 17."

Ranma gulped as Soun turned him towards the youngest, who was glaring at him hatefully. "And you've, uh, already met Akane. She's 16. Pick any one of them and she'll be your fiancee!" Soun smiled and stepped back.

Ranma stared at the three girls who seemed momentarily frozen at the declaration. Well, except Akane, who clenched her fist around the edge of the table and deepened her scowl. "Uh... if you wouldn't mind... could somebody tell me what's going on here?"

Iori scowled, which was the most expression he had shown since he had stepped in the house. "Tendo, I told you, we aren't just going to-"

He was interrupted, oddly enough, by Kasumi's sweetly nervous voice as the oldest girl scrambled behind her youngest sister. "Oh! He wants Akane!"

Before Akane could organize a reaction, Nabiki patted her on the shoulder. "Oh, definitely!"

Akane drew back away from Ranma. "Me?! Why me?!"

Nabiki smiled. "Well, you hate boys, right?"

Kasumi's own smile somehow lacked the warmth it usually held. "Well, you're in luck! He's half girl!"

Ranma's left eye started twitching. Iori started to say something, but was again cut off.

Akane whirled her head as she tossed glares between her sisters for their betrayal. "Me?! Marry that pervert?! You've got to be kidding!!"

Ranma had had enough. "Excuse me? Pervert?!"

Akane turned on him, thankful to have a new target for her unfortunate circumstances. "Yes! You looked at my body, pervert!"

Ranma growled. "Hey! YOU walked in on ME, dimwit!"

Akane growled right back. "It's different when a girl sees a boy!"

Ranma straightened and crossed his arms across his chest. "So that makes ME responsible for YOUR intrusion?"

Akane's mouth opened, but nothing came out.

Ranma smirked. "Yeah, that's what I thought." He watched as she started trembling slightly in fury, and turned away. "Besides, you got nothing to worry about. If you don't want to marry me, then believe me, I 'aint gonna force you."

Soun blinked, then started forward. "Now listen here son, you must marry one of my daughters! The schools-"

"TENDO!!" Soun paled at Iori's growl, and he nearly melted in terror when he turned and saw the redhead glaring at him.

Akane wasn't about to let Ranma off that easily though. "Well you're still a pervert! And if we're not good enough for you, then just leave!" She stood up and glared at the pigtailed boy, who simply offered her a cool stare in return.

"Don't worry, I'll leave. I don't know what you're so worked up about though. It's not like you've got anything worth looking at." Smirking, Ranma started to walk out of the room.

His progress was quickly impeded by a large, heavy table colliding with his head.

Smash!!

Akane stood up and dusted off her hands as the rest of the family sweatdropped. "Stupid jerk!"

Then she blinked as the table shook slightly. There was the sharp sound of wood splintering, and the table began to rise.

Ranma stood straight up, his right hand holding the wooden furniture above his head. His fingers gouged into the wood to hold it up, and he snarled at Akane. "What was that for, you little brat?!"

Akane's surprise was drowned in anger. "BRAT?! Who're you calling a brat, you sex-changing freak?!"

Ranma flinched as if struck. Nabiki blinked, then looked over to see that Iori's eyes had widened at the remark. Considering the level of expression that guy usually showed...

"Uh, Akane?"

The youngest Tendo wasn't about to let up, however, now that she had struck a nerve. "Who'd want to marry a perverted half-man like you anyway? Who'd need to? You're a couple all by yourself!"

Nabiki noted with increasing alarm that Ranma's fingers were digging deeper into the table with every word, and that his form had started trembling. Kasumi and Soun had noticed as well, and started to inch away.

Akane remained oblivious to all of this, and smirked a little as Ranma lowered his head slightly so that his hair hid his eyes from view. Then she noticed the way the table was shaking in the air.

Ranma suddenly looked up, and his eyes burned into her with such fury that Akane involuntarily took a step back.

THWOOM! Purple flames suddenly engulfed the table that was still held in the air, and all three Tendo girls recoiled in fright as the violet firestorm grew smaller, spraying hot ash onto the floor at Ranma's feet. Soun showed no expression on his face, but his hair was sticking straight out again, betraying his shock. Iori merely looked... ready.

Ranma's eyes were locked on Akane as the flames retreated to his clenched fist. After a few moments he closed his eyes, then turned to look at the hand that had recently held the piece of furniture. The purple fire blazed about his fist, but he felt no warmth from it. With a mere act of will it was extinguished, and he opened his hand, letting the remaining black ash float to the hardwood floor below.

Shrugging his hands into his pockets, he turned his head to direct an icy look at Akane, who had adopted a defensive martial arts stance that was ruined only by the way she radiated terror and panic like a frightened squirrel.

He turned his head slightly to the side. "You're right. Nobody would want to marry me. Sorry about the table, by the way. Pop? Let's go." He turned and started to walk away, and Akane fell down.

Soun shook himself out of his trance. "Now wait a minute son, what about your fian-"

Soun stopped with a gulp at Iori's glare, and the redhead turned toward his son, who was looking at him expectantly.

"Ranma, we're staying here for now. Get your pack and start unloading. Which room was it Tendo?"

Everyone blinked, and Ranma gaped. "Wha? Bu-But... we..."

Kasumi put a hand to her mouth, and then stood up, the earlier incident already forgotten. "Oh my! Come with me, you can stay in the guest room." Humming to herself, Kasumi led a confused Ranma upstairs by the arm, even as Nabiki and Akane backed away to give him space to pass.

Soun nodded happily, then turned to Iori. "So Yagami, the schools WILL be joined!" Then he blinked as Iori stared at him stonily.

"Tendo... we need to talk..." Soun gulped.

Ranma watched impassively as Kasumi unfolded the futons and laid them out on the ground, then turned back to his backpack, taking out the few spare sets of clothing he owned. All were as soaked from the rain as his backpack, and fell into a soggy pile that spread water across the floor.

Kasumi looked up from her work, and blinked as Ranma took out a book carefully wrapped in plastic, and therefore the only thing dry that had entered the house. Ranma stared at it for a bit, then gently set it on top of the nightstand in the corner of the room. Kasumi cocked her head curiously, and craned her neck to get a better look. The title was composed of Chinese characters, but a little paper strip taped to the front of the cover labeled it in Japanese as a training manual. Ranma looked at it fondly, then turned back to his soggy clothes.

"Well I don't CARE what Dad says! He's a pervert and a violent maniac!" Akane's voice carried into the room easily, and Ranma's face hardened.

"In all fairness Akane, YOU'RE the one that hit him with a table." Nabiki's calmer voice wasn't as easy to pick up, but was heard nonetheless before both sisters passed by the room.

Kasumi turned to Ranma worriedly, but he simply shook his head as he wrung his clothes out over a bucket.

"Your sister's a real piece of work, huh?"

Kasumi smiled apologetically. "Akane's really a sweet girl. She's just a violent maniac."

Ranma chuckled darkly. "Like me, huh?"

Kasumi's smile slowly faded. "Well... I don't really think-"

Ranma waved it off. "Don't worry about it. She's right, anyway. I'm not fit to marry anybody."

Kasumi gave him a concerned look. "Why do you think that? Your curse isn't that bad."

Ranma smiled at her ruefully. "So you really were shoving your sister at me 'cause you thought we made the best couple?"

Kasumi blinked in surprise, then lowered her head a bit, ashamedly. "I'm sorry. It really wasn't right to do that..."

Ranma shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Like I said, no girl deserves to get stuck with me. And it's not 'cause of this curse either. I have more than that to worry about."

"Like what?" Kasumi's head whipped around to see Nabiki leaning against the doorway, hands behind her head. How long had she been eavesdropping?

Ranma didn't even look at her, and continued as if she had been part of the conversation all along. "I can't tell ya that. Let's just say that I'm not safe to be around. And not 'cause of this." Ranma raised a hand, and a purple pyre ignited and blazed above his palm. Ranma expected them to flinch back, but Kasumi merely took it in stride and started laying out sheets, while Nabiki looked more interested than anything else.

Nabiki smirked at Ranma's surprised look as she kneeled down in front of him. "Don't look so shocked. Not much can faze me more than once." She adjusted her gaze toward the fire, and slowly reached out a hand toward it.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Nabiki blinked, then slowly drew her hand away. Ranma looked up at her. "It may look weird, but believe me when I say it's every bit as dangerous as real fire." He suddenly smirked. "Actually, people tell me it hurts a lot more than the real stuff."

Nabiki looked a tad uneasy at that, but quickly shook it off. "So come on, spill it. What is that anyway?"

Ranma chuckled. "It... is the Yagami's clan greatest legacy. And greatest shame. It's our best gift, and our worst curse. Our power, and our ultimate demise." Kasumi took her attention away from the futons, startled by the blunt seriousness in the pigtailed boy's voice. She stared at the purple flame, frowning.

Nabiki just glared at him. "Well, thanks for not being vague or contradictory or anything."

Ranma sighed. "It's more or less a family secret. I can tell you this, pretty much everyone on my dad's side of the family could use this power, and for some reason it caused most of them to die really young, like in their 20's. Apparently that's not really a concern anymore, but..." Ranma trailed off, then shook his head and dug into his pack, extinguishing the dark fire.

Nabiki's curiosity was peaked, however. "But what?"

"But nothing." Ranma muttered. "I don't mean to be rude, but it's personal, all right?"

Nabiki frowned and was about to say more, when Kasumi stood up and faced her.

"Now Nabiki, it would be rude to pry. Now let's give Ranma some privacy."

Nabiki tried to protest, but Kasumi being Kasumi, she was out of the guest room before she knew it.

Nabiki walked the short distance to her room, then turned around to stare thoughtfully at the door.

"I don't like mysteries, Yagami," she muttered quietly to herself, "and this one has caught my interest. It's only a matter of time."

"But the schools MUST be joined!" Soun insisted, tears streaming down his face.

Iori stared at him impassively. "Why?"

Soun blinked at that, and for a few moments the deluge stopped while he tried to think.

"They just have to be! The school must have an heir! For the future of Anything-Goes and this dojo!"

Iori shrugged. One thing was for sure, if Ranma did inherit this dojo, he'd probably run it better than Soun ever did. "Look, I'm not gonna make the kid marry anyone, especially not the brat in the gi."

Soun's eyes blazed, and suddenly his crybaby demeanor dried up. "How dare you say such things about my daughter?!"

'So the weenie has some spine. Well then.' Iori's expression didn't change, and he took a sip of tea. "Whatever. I'm sure she's really a nice girl and it's just that time of the month or something, but she and Ranma didn't exactly hit it off, and there's no way I'm going to engage them." Soun's newfound backbone dissolved, and the long-haired man slumped down before the ashes of what used to be the dining room table.

"Well then, maybe Nabiki? Or Kasumi? Kasumi would do it, I'm sure!"

Iori stared at him. "You'd really force your daughters to marry some guy they don't even know?"

Soun stared back, and then huffed defensively, but didn't say anything.

The redhead took another sip of tea. "Anyway, we'll stick around, and see what develops."

Soun nodded forlornly, and settled his cup in the white ash before crossing his arms in contemplation.

Iori got up and walked upstairs. He had his own reasons for staying here though. Reasons that he couldn't possibly reveal to anyone else. 'If I go back home and Nodoka sees that Ranma doesn't have a girlfriend, I'm done for.'

"School, huh? Already?" Ranma looked down at the backpack in front of him, nonplussed.

Iori nodded. "Yeah. We might be staying here for a little while, and Furinkan High is close enough to our place that you can finish your sophomore year there." Iori's voice remained mechanic and neutral, as usual.

Ranma immediately perked up. "So after school can we go see Mom again? Man, it's been a while. And Yurumi's 9 years old now, huh?"

Iori looked away. "Not yet. Soon though. I just have to take care of some stuff first." For all his tone of voice betrayed, he could be talking about going to the park instead of seeing his wife for the first time in over a year. Nearby, Nabiki raised an eyebrow and started to pay more attention.

Ranma knew better than to question his father, however. He sighed deeply. "All right. Will it be long, though?"

Iori shrugged and resumed eating, not bothering to respond.

Nabiki took all this in, then set down her chopsticks and picked up her bookbag. "Well, I'm leaving now."

Akane stood up. "Wait! I'll go with you!"

Nabiki turned back to her younger sister. "Ranma needs someone to show him to school."

Akane speared Ranma with a quick glare that he ignored. "Why should I have to take him?!"

Nabiki smirked. "Because he's YOUR fiancee."

"We're not engaged!" Akane snapped.

"Ditto." Ranma said calmly.

Akane glared at him again. Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. In that case, it's because I'm leaving now, and Ranma's not ready yet. Bye!" she skipped out the door, leaving Akane fuming next to Ranma.

After a bit more fuming, she turned to her unwanted companion. "Aren't you ready to go yet?!"

Ranma looked at her cooly, then stood up and buttoned up his jacket. "Ready when you are."

Growling about the idiocy and uselessness of males in general, Akane walked down the sidewalk, swinging her bookbag in front of her in carefully measured arcs.

Eventually she looked behind her to make sure the jerk was keeping up with her, only to find that he was, while walking atop the fence next to the canal.

"What do you think you're doing up there?"

Ranma looked down at her unconcernedly. "It's balance practice."

Akane stared for a moment, then shook her head. "Stupid show-off."

Ranma looked down at her again, slightly annoyed. "What's your problem anyway? We're not engaged or nothing, so just lay off!"

Akane rounded on him. "My PROBLEM is having to put up with a perverted, stupid pyro like you!"

Ranma glared down at her evenly. "Haven't we already been through this? I 'aint no pervert!"

"You turn into a girl!"

"What does my curse have to do with anything?!"

"It's perverted, you pervert!"

Ranma stared at her. "Oh, well that explains everything," he retorted dryly.

Akane started to glow slightly, and Ranma blinked. Then her foot lashed out, and Ranma was forced to somersault away as the fence teetered and fell into the drainage ditch behind it.

Ranma landed in a nearby yard, then turned to face his assailant. "You know, when you get angry like that you lose your focus. That might be why you're such a poor fighter."

Akane glared at him some more and raised her bookbag above her head as if to strike him with it, but it was about then that a system of automatic sprinklers activated.

Akane's anger quickly transformed into amusement, and then she laughed outright as a redheaded, female Ranma glared at her.

Ranma calmed herself, then adjusted her jacket slightly before a sparkle of purple lit in her palm. A quick swing of her arm, and the offending sprinkler head was reduced to a small, blackened crater bubbling with molten plastic.

Akane stumbled backward in surprise, then chuckled some more at Ranma's pettiness.

Ranma simply shrugged her hands in her pockets. "Laugh it up, tomboy." He shot her a look.

Akane stopped laughing, then, after a moment of uncertainty, dropped into a stance. "Was that a threat?"

Ranma smirked. "A threat? No. You see, I never make threats that I'm not willing to carry out, and I don't like fighting weaklings. Especially not girls."

Akane's aura flared. "Who's a weakling?! Just try me for real some time!!"

Ranma snorted. "Don't make me laugh. If I ever fought you seriously, you wouldn't know what hit you. You're not bad, to tell ya the truth, but arrogance could get you hurt." Ranma spat out the comment bitterly as she continued walking.

Akane sputtered indignantly, then settled on the most obvious response to Ranma's jibes. With a cry of female fury, she brought her bookbag down onto Ranma's head.

Crack The hardened leather casing split with the force of the impact, and all the papers and textbooks within it spilled out down Ranma's body, settling onto the concrete walk below.

Ranma stood shock-still a moment, then twisted her head around and gave her attacker a flat look. "Ouch." She deadpanned, then continued walking.

Akane stared at her broken bag incredulously. "Hey! Get back here and help me pick this up!"

"Buzz off!" Ranma yelled back.

"OOH!! That stupid jerk!" Akane yelled to herself in frustration, then grabbed up her papers and books in a messy pile that she hugged to her chest, and then ran to catch up to Ranma.

"I can't believe you did that! That was inexcusable! How can you be such a creep?!"

Ranma rolled her eyes as Akane continued, then finally turned around. "Fine! Here, you can stuff your papers in my backpack. Just stop whining, okay?" Ranma whipped the pack off her shoulders, then held it before Akane.

Akane stared for a moment, and then her face darkened. Suddenly her foot lashed out to kick the pack away, and presumably into the canal opposite the road. Ranma simply lifted the bag out of the way, however, and Akane followed through with her kick only to lose her balance and fall on her rear, loose papers gently swaying in the wind before settling down onto the dirty sidewalk.

Ranma shook her head. "Now THAT I saw coming from a mile away." Shrugging the backpack onto one shoulder, Ranma calmly walked away from the scene, leaving Akane to seethe quietly as she tried to gather up her scattered schoolwork.

It wasn't until Ranma had almost passed by some kind of private medical clinic that Akane spoke to her again.

"Stay there. I have to go inside." Akane didn't look at Ranma as she entered the office, papers still clutched to her chest. She had to get something to put her supplies in, otherwise she would never be able to win the normal morning battle. She thought about getting Ranma some hot water too, but quickly discarded the idea. If Ranma was going to be so cruel to her, let him be a girl! It suited him anyway!

Ranma had other ideas though, and took out a small metal cup from within her jacket. She scooped up some water from a small pond, and then placed her hand underneath the cup, palm up.

It was about then that something touched her shoulder.

Pow! Ranma's left hand swung back in a lightning-fast arc, and she felt her hand break through something hard as the momentum turned the rest of her body around to face her assailant.

Ranma blinked when she beheld a man staring at her wide-eyed from behind a now headless skeleton.

The skull spun a few times as it jumped into the air, and then fell to the restraints of gravitiy, plummeting back down to land in the hand that had severed it.

The man holding the skeleton backed up in alarm before calming himself and chuckling.

"Heh! Sorry if I startled you there! This is Betty, my skeleton!" He looked down at the bare neck vertebrae and blinked. "Er..."

Ranma smiled and jammed the skull back onto the neck, then twisted it a few times until she was sure it wouldn't come off easily. "Sorry 'bout that. I was just surprised I didn't notice you."

The man chuckled, and Ranma cocked her head slightly as she looked him over. He had light brown hair tied into a short ponytail in the back, and wore round, wire-frame glasses.

The man bowed slightly. "I'm Dr. Tofu. And you are?"

Ranma bowed back. "Ranma Yagami. Nice ta meetcha." Ranma turned back to her metal cup, which she had managed not to spill, as Akane walked out of the clinic, her papers stuffed haphazardly into a large cloth bag.

"Oh Dr. Tofu!"

The man smiled at Akane. "Hello Akane. No new injuries?"

Akane blushed slightly and lowered her head. "Uh, no! I mean, I haven't been doing anything that would..." She shook her head, and glared at Ranma. "I just came here to get a bag after SOMEBODY broke mine." She looked at the metal cup Ranma held and frowned.

Ranma blinked, then chuckled. "Yeah, it was combination effort of her arm and my skull." She said wryly. Akane's glare intensified, and Ranma smirked.

Dr. Tofu looked back in forth between the two girls. "Ah, so you know each other?"

Akane shot Ranma one last glare, which had no more effect than the last round. 'Arrogant creep.' "He's just staying with my family for a while."

Dr. Tofu blinked. "He?"

Thwoom A purple blaze soon tinted the cup a glowing red, and Tofu fingered his glasses as if to make sure they were still on.

Ranma smirked and threw the water over her head. Dr. Tofu took a step back in surprise, and Ranma simply stared at him expressionlessly.

The good doctor sweatdropped and turned to Akane. "Well, you certainly have some... interesting friends..."

"That's a nice way of putting it." Akane deadpanned.

Ranma simply readjusted his jacket, then jammed his hands into his pants pockets. "I can see the school from here, so I'll make it fine on my own. See ya." Ranma left immediately, hopping back onto the fence as soon as he got close enough.

Akane was about to tell him to wait for her, when she suddenly remembered that she despised him and wanted to spend as little time in his company as possible.

Turning away in a huff, she realized that she was alone with Dr. Tofu, who was staring at Ranma's back curiously. And at the white crescent moon that adorned it. "Ranma Yagami, huh? Interesting..."

"Feh. Interesting! He's a violent freak! And a perverted jerk! I can't stand him!!" Akane stamped her foot on the ground, imagining Ranma's face staring up at her from beneath her foot.

Dr. Tofu scratched his head. "If you say so. He seems all right to me..."

Akane shook her head. "You don't have to live with him. Sigh I'm going to be late if I don't hurry. I'll see you later, okay? Thanks for the bag!"

Dr. Tofu waved at the youngest Tendo girl as she ran off. "No problem Akane! Stop by again!"

When he turned around, however, a frown marred his face.

'Yagami... I know I've heard that name before...'

Ranma looked at the scattered crowd of boys curiously, wondering if he had stumbled into school on the day of some kind of sports rally. Looking over the crowd from his position on the outer wall, he could see that the mass of various jocks were split into small groups based on what sport was practice. There were representatives from almost every physical activity he had ever heard of, from Sumo wrestling to track and field to Kendo, and there was even two or three guys wrapped up in winter clothing wielding ski poles.

Ranma decided it didn't involve him, hopped down from the fence, and slowly weaved his way through the crowd.

He had almost made it to the entrance of the building when a wordless battle cry erupted from behind him.

Akane charged into the mass of lecherous boys swinging wildly, trying to break them up with her initial charge. Those that didn't back away were sent flying, and the others regrouped and started moving in on Akane one by one.

Akane tossed her improvised bag to the side, and started dishing out her regular doses of punishment to the regular morning crew. Luckily, her opponents rarely converged on her in numbers larger than one at a time, unwilling to share their prize should they manage to win the crucial battle. Unfortunately for Akane, that still meant that another opponent was alway behind the last one.

She made her way through the crowd, breaking through holds and tackles and throwing her challengers every which way.

At last she had almost made her way across the front yard of the school, unconscious bodies marking her trail of destruction. She elbowed a charging tennis player in the gut and then backhanded him away before descending upon the next target in her immediate field of vision. Seeing that this one wasn't moving at her like the others, she threw her weight forward into a swift and strong left hook.

Pap

Her mind reeled as her attack was caught and a strong grip held her fist. It figured that these jerks would switch tactics eventually! Now they were playing defensive!

Ignoring the sudden feeling of deja vu, she shifted her weight to put as much force as possible into her following right hook.

Pap

Which was caught just as easily. Feeling reasonably alarmed, she decided to throw conventional manuevers to the wind and brought her right leg up for a solid kick to the groin.

Her target apparently didn't like where this was heading, as he released her hands and hopped up, only to land balancing on her outstretched leg.

Leaning backward, with her leg still stretched into the air, she finally took a good look at her opponent and sweatdropped.

Ranma looked back at her calmly, apparently at ease standing on her calf. "Overzealous, aren't we?" Then he pinched her nose and hopped off his perch.

Akane yelled incoherently, and windmilled backwards as Ranma's weight was suddenly absent from her leg.

Ranma shook his head sadly, walking away calmly even as he felt Akane focus her wrathful glare onto his back.

"HOLD PEASANT!!" Ranma blinked and stopped, then turned around to see a slightly older boy in a blue kendo shirt with large black pants pointing a bokken at him.

Ranma looked left, then right. "Who, me?"

Akane growled. "Who do you think he's talking about, genius?"

Kuno eyed Ranma with a fair amount of contempt and irritation, as some people would look at a cockroach that had somehow survived an exterminator. "Who are you, and how is it that one such as you has defeated Akane Tendo in combat?! Be advised, cretin, that you now face the great Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, captain of the kendo club, and the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!!"

Boom Crack Lighting lanced down in the background, creating a marvelously dramatic effect.

Peering out the window on the third story, Nabiki raised an eyebrow as Kuno started waving his wooden sword at her new houseguest. "Blue Thunder? That's a new one. Last I heard he was calling himself Shooting Star."

One of the girls next to her frowned. "Did that guy actually beat Akane? I don't even recognize him!"

"He didn't just beat Akane, but did you see how he did it? Not a single hit! He made it look easy!"

"Wow! That guy might even be a match for Kuno!"

"Does this mean that Akane has to date him?"

"I hope not! Look at him! He's gorgeous!"

Nabiki smiled slightly, and waved a hand to get the others to quiet down.

Ranma stared at Kuno for a fair amount of time before shaking his head and taking off his backpack.

"Who am I? Name's Ranma Yagami of the Yagami School of Indiscriminate Grappling." He tossed his backpack off to one side where it would be safe if the grass caught on fire. The Yagami branch of Anything-Goes Martial arts wasn't an official school, as it was a family style, and one that he had mostly put together himself, but he was proud of it nonetheless. "As for how I beat Tendo, she tends to think that she's so strong that her blows are unstoppable. Which, as I've just demonstrated, isn't quite true."

Akane's aura flared to life, and she began searching the ground for a rock suitable for throwing.

Ranma put a hand to his chin as if in thought. "On top of that, really, she's just too slow. Plus her kicks are way too clumsy, especially in a skirt, never mind that-" Ranma hopped backwards, and the wooden weapon slashed through where his chest had been. "Somethin' wrong?"

"You dare mock the skills of the fierce and beauteous Akane Tendo?!" Kuno roared, his bokken at the ready.

Ranma blinked. "Well, yeah, I guess." He craned his neck backwards suddenly, and a fist-sized rock passed half an inch from his nose.

Kuno shifted his stance, bokken in a guard position. "Know this, fool! I challenge you! Here and now! If you lose, you shall forfeit your right to date with the fair Akane Tendo, and I shall date her in your stead!"

"HEY!!" Akane was ignored.

Ranma blinked again, then made a face of utter confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Kuno snorted and turned away, shaking his head. "Why I must always deal with such dull-witted buffoons? It seems to be my lot in life, hardly worthy of one so great as I."

"And let's not forget so humble," Ranma added dryly.

Kuno turned back towards Ranma. "Know this Yagami, you have defeated the fair and graceful Akane Tendo in combat-"

"He didn't beat me! I wasn't ready!! I didn't even know who it was!!" Akane was, again, ignored.

"-and by doing so, have thereby attained the grand and oft-sought privilege to date with the fierce tigeress Akane Tendo by mine own decree. However, I refuse to allow one so feeble as you to recieve this boon! Now prepare yourself, fool!"

Ranma's head dropped forward, and his hair covered his eyes as his entire body started shaking. Slowly at first, but the trembling soon grew stronger.

Akane's rage mostly evaporated into hazy fear as she recalled what happened the last time he started shaking like that. She gulped audibly, backing up into a tree. "Ranma! Wait!"

But alas, Ranma could contain it no longer.

"BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! OH KAMI, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!! HA HA HAAAAA!! Gasp Gasp You-heh heh heh-You actually think that I want to-chuckle-DATE that tomboy?! Hell, if this what all this is about, then forget about it! You can have her, man!" Ranma almost collapsed into hysterics again. It was just too funny. 'THAT'S what all these guys got beaten up for?! To try and date her? What a bunch of losers!'

Needless to say, Akane's fear quickly dissipated back into a healthy, fiery aura of fury. That didn't improve her rocks' aim though.

Kuno looked at Ranma in bewilderment as the pigtailed boy started twisting to avoid the Earthen projectiles. "So you do not seek to date Akane Tendo? You would surrender the honor to me, without conflict?"

Ranma smiled and grabbed a stone out of the air before crushing it in his hand. "What, are you kidding me? I feel sorry for YOU, man. But, to each his own, I guess." The next rock hit him straight on, and Ranma rubbed the back of his head irritably.

Kuno crossed his arms in contemplation, and inclined his head in deep thought. After a few seconds of this, he raised his head again. "Very well! You are wise, newcomer, to cede such a thing to me, your obvious better! For this offense and travesty, you shall not be harmed!"

Ranma rolled his eyes. If this guy didn't shut up soon, then someone was going to get hurt. Ranma had a fair amount of patience, but he'd never met anyone so full of himself. Then he realized that the bokken was pointed at him again. "Now what?!"

Kuno glared. "However. For the crime of your mocking both myself and my love, the beautious Akane Tendo, you shall be punished!"

Kuno charged forward, unleashing a quick forward stab. He was totally unprepared for Ranma's speed, and the pigtailed boy jerked to the side before moving forward himself to plant his knee in the kendoist's stomach. Ranma backed out quickly, then spin-kicked Kuno in the back, sending the older boy onto the ground in a heap in front of Akane.

Ranma sighed. "Now look here, jerk. I don't give a whit what's between you and Akane, just leave me out of it!"

Kuno growled and got up, albeit unsteadily. "I fight on, knave!" He charged with a diagonal slash.

Ranma's foot lashed out and stopped the weapon, and Ranma stood regarding Kuno on one leg with his arms crossed. "Look: get a clue. Either you back off and let me get to class, or I'm gonna have to hurt you. Bad."

Akane remained gaping by the edge of the battleground, groaning boys still littering the ground before her. Ranma was treating Kuno like he was nothing! And getting away with it! Then she flinched slightly as a heavy droplet of water hit her neck and slid down into her shirt.

Ranma's eyes widened as he felt a drop of rain fall onto his hair. Looks like he would have to finish this quickly, then. He kicked away Kuno's bokken, and the kendoist backed away to reposition his weapon.

With the wooden blade raised overhead, Kuno charged forward yet again. "Now fool, you will be pun-"

"Shikyo Hana!" Ranma launched himself forward with a wicked right hook aimed straight for Kuno's chest.

Boom! An explosion of purple sent Kuno reeling as Ranma's fist connected, and he hit the ground hard and rolled, only coming to a complete stop with the combined aid of a tree trunk and his skull.

Ranma had taken off as soon as the attack hit, retrieved his backpack, and leapt into one of the nearest windows, just barely managing to reach a safe haven before the spontaneous downpour started really coming down.

Akane stood in the rain, staring at Kuno's smoking, unconscious figure in disbelief. Kuno had lost just like that?

And then the bell rang.

With a start of surprise, Akane ran for the entrance, only to remember her bag. Cursing Ranma for everything he had ever done to her so far, a few things he hadn't really done to her, and quite a few things that he had probably done to other people, she grabbed her makeshift schoolbag and sprinted into the school building.

"Well Ranma, it would appear you've just come home from a trip to China, and your transfer papers are all in order. You may have a seat over there, next to Daisuke." The teacher waved Ranma in the general direction of his desk. Then the bell rang, and several students sat up in their desks.

The teacher adjusted his glasses. "Now, let's see... Hmm? Has anyone seen Ms. Tendo? I'm sure I saw her creating some kind of fuss outside."

Just then the door burst open, and a wet Akane sped into the room, her damp bag leaving small trails of water droplets.

The teacher nodded. "Ah, so there you are. You're late. Go stand in the hall, Ms. Tendo. Buckets are in the usual place."

Akane gaped and made as if to say something, but quickly swallowed it. Shooting one last look at Ranma that promised a slow, suffering, bloody death, Akane stalked out of the room.

The teacher paid it no mind. Akane usually managed to finish her fights on time, but on occasion she took too long with Kuno to get in on time, and had accumulated a looming tardy record as a result. None of which was his problem.

"Now class, turn to page 148 in your textbooks. Today we're going to learn more about the politics of the Toronaga Shogunate..."

Akane continued glaring balefully at Ranma, never resting her fiery stare even as she related who he was to her friends.

Yuka and Sayuri were now utterly convinced that Ranma was an entity summoned from the depths of hell itself. At least, that was about all they could deduce from listening to Akane's description of him.

"He turns into a GIRL?!" Yuka looked over at him again, and tried to imagine what he would look like as a woman.

Akane snorted. "Yeah, he's a total freak! Just splash him with cold water and you'll see. I'll bet he does all sorts of perverted things to his female body!" She broke eye contact for a moment to take a bite of a rice ball, then continued trying to will Ranma to die.

Over on the other side of the field, Ranma sat under a tree alone as he ate his lunch ravenously.

"Man, can that Kasumi COOK!!" He was soon licking his chopsticks above an empty bento box, and started scraping around on the bottom for grains of rice.

"Hello!"

Ranma blinked and looked up, to see that a small crowd had suddenly gathered around him. They were standing a measured distance away, and most looked at him with a sense of awe.

Ranma looked back and forth. There were a number of boys in the crowd, but it was mostly consisted of girls. "Yeah?"

The girl that had addressed him blushed and clasped her hands behind her back. "Well, we saw your fight this morning, and then we saw that you were eating here alone, so-"

"Man! That was awesome how you beat Kuno!" One of the males interrupted and stepped forward. "How did you do it?"

Ranma quirked an eyebrow. "Kuno? He wasn't anything special."

One of the other guys looked at him suspiciously. "Were you serious about not dating Akane?" The girls suddenly adopted hopeful looks.

Ranma shook his head slowly. "Give me a break. I wouldn't date that violent tomboy if you paid me. She attacked me and I defended myself. End of story." Half the boys in the crowd let off a spontaneous cheer and ran off, while all the girls let off a spotaneous cheer, but didn't budge.

"So how'd you do that purple thing?" The few remaining boys listened in eagerly, but were suddenly thrust back by the girls rushing forward.

"Yeah! That was so cool!"

"Can you do it again?"

"C'mon, how'd you do it?"

Ranma was starting to feel a tad claustrophobic, and pressed his back against the tree, while holding his empty bento onto his chest, like a shield ready to defend. "Uh, well, it's sort of a technique that's unique to my family's style." He really didn't feel like explaining the source of his family's special powers to anyone, especially not to a bunch of school gossipers.

"It must be a powerful style to beat Kuno so easy!"

"HA!! So you too have been privy to this rumor!"

The crowd suddenly scattered at the new voice, and Kuno strode forward arrogantly, his insufferable cockiness spoiled only by the bandages that showed from underneath his usual kendo outfit.

He smirked, and addressed the crowd, his bokken resting easily on his shoulder. "You have all been victim to a terrible falsity! That I, the great Tatewaki Kuno, hath been defeated in combat by this lowly swine! Know this though! I do not admit defeat!"

"He looked pretty defeated to me." One of the boys commented.

"Don't you lose when you explode and fall unconscious?" The girl's friends nodded in agreement.

Kuno snorted. "Only foul sorcery could have felled one such as I! Fight with honor, fiend!"

Ranma held his head in his hand as the crowd started wispering.

"Foul sorcery?"

"Was that what it was?"

"That purple energy... coulda been."

"I still think it's cool though."

Ranma sighed. "All right, fine. If you wanna call this sorcery," Ranma held up a palm, and his flame ignited in a tall blaze, eliciting an excited gasp from the crowd, "then we'll settle this the old-fashioned way." Ranma closed his fist, and the flames were reduced to thin wisps of smoke.

Kuno laughed. "Ha ha ha!! So you know some honor, scoundrel! Now we fight as men, and I shall defeat you and claim the beauteous Akane Tendo for myself, so that she may at last fall into my arms-"

Ranma had tuned Kuno out by then, so he turned his head when he heard the scraping of rock against rock.

"-and proclaim her undying love for me! Akane Tendo, fear not! For soon you shall be free to lay your heart at my feet, as the fates have so decided!" Kuno at last finished his speech, only to see Ranma relaxing at the base of the tree, sitting cross-legged.

"Fool! Get up and fight me!"

Ranma smirked. "Good night, Kuno."

Kuno blinked, and was about to start yet another grand and terribly long- winded monologue, when a large shadow suddenly eclipsed his form.

SMASH!

Ranma winced slightly as Akane slammed the large stone carving on top of the kendoist. Oh well, at least something finally shut him up. "Thanks Akane."

Akane glared at him yet again. She had been doing that so often now, Ranma was beginning to wonder what her other expressions looked like. "I wasn't doing it for YOU, creep!"

Ranma nodded. "Yeah, well, thanks anyway." 'Sheesh. And he wants to date her? He must be even dumber than he seems. This is a marriage counselor's dream come true.'

He yawned lightly, then looked down at the empty bento he was still carrying. "Say, anybody got some spare food?"

Shoom Before he could blink, he had a thick ring of bentos surrounding him in offering, held out by dozens of girls with hopeful looks.

Ranma and Akane both sweatdropped.

"Pop! We're home!" Ranma unbuttoned his jacket and stretched, then shrugged off his backpack.

Iori gave his son a noncommital nod, then set down his go stone.

Soun bigsweated. "Er... do-over! Please!"

The redhead sweatdropped. "Another one?"

Ranma grabbed a cracker from the table, and walked outside. Iori turned and watched him from the porch.

"So how did school go? You didn't hurt anyone, did you?" Soun and Kasumi blinked at that. Akane's scowl simply deepened.

Ranma shrugged. "Eh, only one guy. He seemed okay a little later though. At least until Akane smashed him with a really big rock."

Iori's previous sweatdrop reappeared with a vengeance. Soun nodded, accustomed to such things, and switched some of his pieces around while Iori wasn't looking.

Ranma frowned suddenly, then sat down next to the pond. "So what's the deal? What's up with this dumb 'beat you up and date you' thing?"

Akane continued glaring at him, focusing all the anger she experienced any time somebody brought up her morning battles into the pigtailed boy before her. "That idiot Kuno declared that anyone who wanted to date me had to beat me in combat! Ever since, I've had to fight off the perverts every morning!"

Ranma chuckled. "Heh! That's rich! They go through all that to date YOU? Are all those other girls nuns or something?"

Boot Ranma was kicked into the pond, causing several poor, unfortunate koi dramatic, emotional scarring that would haunt them for the rest of their supposedly calm, contemplative lives.

The boy-turned-girl broke the surface of the water, and immediately splashed her way out of the pond, matching Akane's glare.

Akane's victorious smirk soon melted back into a frown. "Don't think that you have the right to date me now! You didn't defeat me! There's no way that counts!"

Ranma's glare shifted into a mirthful expression. "Hey, like I said, I wouldn't date you at gunpoint!" He jumped over her kick this time, and spun around to face her on the opposite side of the yard.

"And it doesn't matter whether that counts or not, because I could beat you ANY time, ANY place, BLINDFOLDED, with BOTH hands tied behind my back!!" Akane screamed in frustration and charged at him, to which he responded by simply jumping onto the roof, out of range.

Iori watched the whole scene dispassionately, then turned back to the Go board, realizing immediately that some pieces had been moved.

Nabiki, who had arrived only moments before, shook her head and smirked at the scene of Akane throwing things at Ranma while he was still on the roof. "I swear, those two are just too much, huh Mr. Yagami?" She turned toward the expressionless redhead, a slight smile on her face. "I'll be in my room if anyone needs me!" She called out a little too loudly, then hurried upstairs. Iori stared after her.

"Yagami? It's your turn." Soun smiled and leaned back slightly, confident now that he was in a winning position.

Iori looked back at the board, then put down his stone. "I win."

Crash Soun facefaulted.

Iori got up, ignoring Soun's pathetic begging for a rematch, and slowly ascended the stairs.

Toonk Toonk Toonk

Nabiki smirked, not looking towards her door. "Come in!"

Iori entered slowly, shutting the door behind him.

Nabiki turned around, and an obviously fake joyous smile played across her face. "Why Mr. Yagami, what a pleasant surprise! Whatever are you doing here?"

Iori's expression didn't budge a micrometer. "You tell me."

'Damn he's good. What is he made of, stone?' Her smile dimished slightly into a more casual expression. "All right, you seem to be a no-nonsense kind of guy. So I'll get to the point. You said that you're not going to make Ranma marry one of us, yet you're still staying here. What's the deal? And please don't hand me any B.S. about Ranma getting to know one of us and deciding to marry us on his own. I've talked to him, and apparently that's the last thing on his mind."

Iori raised an eyebrow, and Nabiki was annoyed that she felt a slight surge of pride for getting him to express that much.

The large man sighed. "All right. I wasn't hoping he would marry one of you, but I was hoping he could at least get to know one of you well."

Nabiki took this in. "Okay. But why? Why would you care, if he didn't end up marrying one of us to unite the schools?"

Iori stared. "And why should I tell you that?"

Nabiki's expression quickly hardened. "Look Yagami, your son just spent the day completely humiliating my little sister. Now, I don't take this personally, because frankly, she's not the nicest person in the world, but he claims that he's dangerous-REALLY dangerous-and I'm not going to let my family get into any real danger for no reason."

Iori's expression again went back to betraying nothing. "I see."

He glanced at the door for a moment, then turned back to Nabiki. "It's like this. My wife's a fine woman, but she has some... odd views on masculinity. So she let me take Ranma to China, but only under one condition."

Nabiki nodded. "Go on."

Iori sighed, and for once let his mask slip partially, showing the beginning of what Nabiki could only guess was exasperation or worry. "She said that when he got back, he has to have a girlfriend."

Thump

Nabiki rubbed her head irritably as she got up from where she had fallen down. "A girlfriend? Weird."

Iori nodded. "Yeah, well, I've answered your question. Now how about you do something for me?"

Nabiki blinked at him innocently. "And what would that be?"

Iori stared. "... Fine. If you're going to make me say it. I want you to act as Ranma's girlfriend when we go to meet Nodoka again. I'm going to take enough heat because of the curse, but if Ranma has somebody hanging on him, then she might not take it so hard."

Nabiki smiled. Jackpot. "10,000 yen."

Iori's expression retained its stoniness. "You know, if you're really thinking about prostitution as a career path, you could probably sell yourself for more than that."

Nabiki laughed and sat back on her bed. "Touche! You ARE good!" She sat up and steepled her fingers. "But my price still stands."

Iori shrugged and picked a wallet out of his pocket. "You don't have to sleep with him or anything. Just be there when Ranma sees his mother again."

Nabiki nodded. "I understand. Though..." Iori stopped and focused on her, "there could be other ways to pay."

He didn't budge.

Nabiki looked up at him seriously. "Ranma said that there's something about him more dangerous than that purple fire thing. Plus, I really think you left something out when you told us the story about Jusenkyou. let me in on it all, and I'll go out with Ranma a few times, meet with his mother and the whole shebang."

Iori kept staring, and Nabiki found herself fidgeting under his gaze. She forced herself to stop.

Eventually he lowered his eyes. "That's not for me to tell."

She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "10,000 yen isn't exactly pocket change. I'm really too curious for my own good."

Bam Nabiki turned and saw a stack of notes on her night table.

"Ask Ranma about it."

She raised an eyebrow. "He won't tell."

"Then that's his right. The kid's been through a lot of grief because of it. I'll tell you this, he makes it out worse than it is. None of you are in any real danger." The redhead turned to leave.

"Are you sure you won't reconsider?" Iori ignored her and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

She sighed, then shrugged and picked up the bills. Ranma had only been there for one day, and already he was making her a profit!

Ranma let out a deep sigh and shook her head from her position hanging just outside Nabiki's window.

"So THAT'S why Pop wanted to stay here. Geez. He coulda just told me." The small redhead muttered irritably, then swung down onto the ground and walked back into the house.

'Mom actually said that? Well, she has always been a little weird, but still, a girlfriend?' Ranma passed her father on the stairs, who gave her an acknowledging nod before heading down into the yard.

Ranma kicked open the bathroom door, still in thought. 'A girlfriend, huh? Well, Pop already paid Nabiki, so I guess I should just go along with it. He's doing this for both our sakes.'

She climbed out of her clothes, and mashed it all together in a big bundle with the clearly displayed crescent moon of his jacket marking the heap as hers. Taking a quick glance to see that the 'Occupied' sign wasn't up, she entered the washroom, head hung in contemplation.

'Still, what's Mom going to say about my curse?'

"Get out of here, you freak!"

Ranma heaved a deep sigh. "Yeah, probably."

Then she blinked, and looked up. To see Akane. Naked. Ripping the sink fixture out of the wall and holding it above her head, poised to strike.

"Uh... sign... no... didn't... see... um..."

"PERVERT!!" SMASH!! CRUNCH!! BAM!! POW!!

Ranma crawled out of the washroom, masses of bruises covering her body.

"Un... Uncute..." She muttered.

WHAM!! The sink flew out of the bathroom and beaned her on the head, rendering her unconscious.

End of Chapter 2

All right, I feel that this is the best time to explain Ranma's fighting abilities. Ranma's stronger and tougher than in the beginning of the manga, but he's also slower, though he's obviously still fast enough to mess around in a fight with Kuno or Akane.

Ranma pretty much devised his own style, which is mostly Anything-Goes heavily laced with what Iori taught him about using his flame. He hits harder, but not as often, and he's more comfortable on the ground or on some kind of stable surface than in the air, though he's basically a capable fighter no matter what the situation.

Special techniques are as follows, and will be added to as the story progresses:

Yami Barai - Dark Thrust: Iori's ground fireball from the game.

Oni Yaki - Demon Scorcher: Iori's uppercut move from the game; Ranma jumps and spins, and fire surrounds him.

Koto Tsuki In - Dark Crescent Moon Slice: Iori's rush attack from the game; Ranma runs up, hits them in the face, then slams them down and blasts them with fire.

Shikyo Hana - Death Blossom: One of Ranma's unique moves. Basically a swift, strong fire punch ideal for causing major damage to larger, slower moving targets, due to the explosive force. Similar to Kyo's Poison Gnawfest.

Super combos (No KOF fic would be complete without these!):

Ya Otome - Maiden Masher: Iori's super combo from the game; Ranma grabs his opponent, hits them a lot, then gives them CPR with a few fireballs.

Seikyo no Toguchi - (Maiden Masher Advanced) Death's Door: Ranma's own revision of his father's slam-fest move. It will appear in later chapters.