CELL BLOCK TANGO

Author's Note: Good God I fell so madly in love with this song today, and to think yes, indeed I literally did just discover this song today. It's from the musical film 'Chicago', an I highly reccomend viewing it. If not, at least just hear this original song alone. Gosh, sounds like the true backstory to why some of the women ended up in Hell- after their old boyfriends crossed the line. ;)

Song Used/Parodied: Cell Block Tango- Soundtrack from Chicago

(Or according to how iTunes labels the artist, whom is which one of the many lead singers, Catherine Zeta Jones.)

XXX

It seemed as if this day couldn't get possibly any more strange than what it was. But- nope. To any of thsoe who assumed so, you were definetely wrong. Things became oddly quiet in the club shortly after Kirsty's little song, and the atmosphere was creepily tense. Now mind you, it's not like things were actually about to come serious now, were they?

Hmm..maybe.

All the men didn't have a single clue. In fact, they had a funny feeling something about this next upcoming song was directed to them one way or another. And just what was the vibe?

Why, the lights in the club had gone out!

The reactions varied from gasps of surprise, montone cries ("Ah." Chatterer remarked in the utter most sarcasm he could muster, and yet still that monotone statement had more emotion in it than any of Kristen Stewart's acting), and most likely at least someone pissed their pants in fear. Don't judge! You'd be frightened too if the club was suddenly pitch black.

"Have no fear Kirsty- Pinny is here!" Pinhead remarked, with such a cheesy line of comfort. Whether or not he meant that as a joke or wasn't actually serious about actually using that with the intention for serious romance, I haven't the slightest clue. But when he reached out to pull her into a childish yet adorably protective bear hug, she wasn't there. In fact he felt nothing, not even the slightest strand of her corkscrew curly hair!

WTF? !

"Frank..." not just Pinhead, but in fact, a majority of the men growled angrily and warningly to everyone's favorited little perverted uncle.

"Hey! Don't look at me! I didn't do shit this time for once!" Frank cried out in defense, with both of his arms raised in defense, failing to realize nobody would see. However, he did mean exactly what he said, and the boys backed off.

"Though that's a nice idea for next time..." he added in a soft mutter, with a grin that could compare to the likes of a troll. It wasn't like any of the guys couldn't pretend to have not heard, but instead they all just mentally facepalmed.

Suddenly- the lights came back on! Sort of, instead of the actual bright lights were now a soft red color that only faintly lit some of the areas in the club- namely the stage. On top of that, the mystery of all the women's disappearances was now officially solved. Hooray- not really.

There was something suspicious about this, with the possible hint of an upcoming song. Maybe due to the fact they were in the middle of karakoe night. Maybe because of the setting, the lightly lit red lights, and the faint but growing sound of a slow tango. Maybe perhaps the fact from the outline shadows of all the sweet femine figures, it looked like they were all weary something kinky.

...Not that any of the boys were necessarily complaining about that last part.

But still, for the sake of all Star Wars lovers out there, everyone was otherwise thinking it.

'I've got a bad feeling about this...'

Feline

Pop...

Kirsty

Three...

Julia

Squish..

Tiffany

Uh-uh...

Nikoletta

Cicero...

Dreamer

Lipschitz...

And repeat!

Feline

Pop...

Kirsty

Three...

Julia

Squish..

Tiffany

Uh-uh...

Nikoletta

Cicero...

Dreamer

Lipschitz...

Feline

*smirks wickedly*

You know how people have these little habits that get'cha down?
Like- Wesley...
Wesley liked to chew gum
OH no! Not chew...
POP!

So he came by my place
Heard he screwed around- again
So I confronted him
And there he was
Plopped down on my couch, drinking a beer, and chewin'.
No- not chewin'. Poppin'...

So I said to him "You pop that gum one more time..."
*SIGH* And he did
So I took my shotgun off the wall
And fired two warning shots.

Into. His. Head.

Everyone

Chorus

He had it coming!
He had it coming!
He had himself to blame!

If you'd have been there
If you'd had seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

Kirsty

*sighs wearily*

I met 'The' Trevor Gooden
-My former husband-
A couple of years back
And we hit it off right away

Hey, we had a routine together
He'd go to home, he'd come home
I'd fix him a drink, we'd have a drink

And then Pinny told
"Single?" Trevor told me..
Hmph.

SINGLE MY ASS!

Not only did he cheat
Oh no, he had three lucky ladies there
Guess he liked the Mormons style

So that night when he came home
I fixed him up a specialty...

You know, some guys just can't hold their 9mm bullets

Everyone

He had it coming!

Feline

Pop!

Kirsty

Three!

Everyone

He had it coming!

Nikoletta

Cicero...

Dreamer

Lipschitz...

Everyone

He took a flower in his prime
And then he used it
Ha!
And he abused it
It was a murder- but not a crime!

Julia

*smies sweetly*

Now I'm pissed that I'm all Hellbound
And that all my plans were foiled
There was some satisfactory to it...

Earlier I had a run-in with Frank here

And with all eyes all curiously falling to Frank, they noticed a lack of his physical presence. Truth be told, he had the bad feeling and predicted exactly what his ex/sort of lover was going to say. To brace for the impact, he had cowardly sank slowly under his chair and underneath the table, but that could not block his ears out from the sound of her singing her diss.

He was enraged about it all
"But Julia love, come to Daddy"
He was crazy, thinkin' I forgot

"Come to Daddy, hm?"

And then after taking his heart, he ran into my knife
He ran into it ten times

Everyone

If you'd have been there!

If you'd have seen it!

I betcha you would have done the same!

Tiffany

*confused*

What am I doing here?
My mama says I'm crazy
All I like to do is solve puzzles
She thinks I chopped off some ex-boyfriend's head

But it's not true! I'm innocent!

I don't know how I got into the Institute
I tred to explain, but nobody understood

Feline

Whoa...but did you do it?

Tiffany

Uh uh!
Not guilty! :'(

Nikoletta

My sister Evanna and I had this double act
And my lover Anthony adored the whole thing
Now just for the hell of it, we did acrobatics in the act

One, Two, Three, Four, Five
Splits, Spread Eagles, Back Flips, Flip Flops, one right after the other...

So this one night we're at a hotel called Cicero
The three of us rebels, boozin' and screwin' around
And we ran out of ice
So I went to go get some
I come back, and guess what?
There's Evanna and Tony doing number 17- the spread eagle

Well I was in such a state of shock I blacked out
Couldn't remember a damn thing
It wasn't until later
When washing the blood of my hands of course-
That I figured they were dead

Everyone

They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming all along!

Nikoletta

I didn't do it!
But if I'd done it-
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

Everyone

They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming all along!

Kirsty

We never did it!
But say we did it-
How could you tell us we were wrong?

Dreamer

I loved Al Lipschitz before JP
What can I say?
He was an artistic guy
Sensitive...a painter

But he was always trying to find himself
He'd go out every night searching for himself
And along the way...
He found
Ruth
Gladys
Rosemary
And...*shudders* Vincent

I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences
He saw himself as alive
And I saw. Him. Dead.

Everyone

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!

They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming all along!

Cause if they used us!
And they abused us!
How could you tell us that we were wrong?

He had it coming!
He had it coming!
He had it coming!
He had it coming!
He had it coming all along!

If you'd had been there
If you'd had seen it

I betcha you would have done THE SAME!

Feline

*menacingly*

You pop that gum one more time...

Kirsty

*hisses*

Single my ass...

Julia

*amused*

Ten times...

Tiffany

*scared*

Can I go home now...?

Nikoletta

*pissed off*

Number seventeen- the spread eagle...

Dreamer

*huffs*

Artistic differences...

Feline

Pop...

Kirsty

Three...

Julia

Squish..

Tiffany

Uh-uh...

Nikoletta

Cicero...

Dreamer

Lipschitz...

...

...

...

..

"Oh." someone was the first brave to comment, but in which otherwise no one could quite say anything.

"So uhm...when's the S&M session?" Pistonhead asked, both stupidly bold and oddly timidly at the same time noticing all the women dressed in the leather outfits. But still with menacing glares over the memories of their incoherent ex-boyfriends, and knowing the fear now everyone in the room could suffer the same fate, he gave a face of 'I'll shut up now' and said no more.

What was there to say? What could yo usay upon seeing your beautiful girlfriend on stage dressed in a vulgar outfit that turns you on, and yet terrifies you at the same time as they happily sang a song about how they murdered the former man in their life that messed up and handled it like it was a Disney musical performance? ! Huh? !

Utterly nothing. The girls seemed perfectly content and all gave wicked little smirks, save for Tiffany, who happily ran off stage and into the arms of the also terrified Steve.

"HEY WAIT A MINUTE! You put soft-ass Tiffany in the show but why not me? !" Joey complained, waving her arms furiously. Elliot jumped in bewildered surprise, dare he wonder what his beloved Joanne could've ever done to previous boyfriends.

Ooops!

"Eh. Wasn't enough room in the song. Sorry." Kirsty shrugged at first, but grinned apologetically.

However, judging from the looks on Joey's face, obviously she had something in store of a song of her own...

To be continued...;D