|The Inescapable Bouquet and Garter Catalyst
Author: got2bekiddin PM
When Penny recieves a phone call from Mrs Cooper asking when she and 'Shelly' are coming up, she finds she isn't the only one unamused at her lack of knowledge about Missy's wedding. Sheldon isn't too happy about his plan getting foiled either.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Penny & Sheldon C. - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,061 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 164 - Updated: 10-03-12 - Published: 07-22-11 - id: 7206833
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Welcome back folks! I'm so sorry about the hiatus- I can't believe it's been 9 months since my last update.
I'm also in disbelief at how many brilliant reviews I've had, not to mention the follows and favourites. Thank you very very much Your reviews made me laugh so much, I promise I will definitely get around to replying to your messages!
In a way I'm slightly scared now, because its been so long and I want the chapters to be just as good, so I do apologise in advance just in case.
As always I don't own the show or characters.
Thanks for reading!
Shortly after his mom's scolding, his scolding of Penny and then the inevitable scolding from Penny, Sheldon had let her into 4B and left with orders to pack immediately.
Needless to say he wasn't too amused upon his return to see penny's failed attempt at packing, especially when he was in tow with packed suitcase and suit bag.
Trying to appeal to her practical side, he had presented her with a laminated copy of the female modified version of his own packing necessities- feminine products, dressing gown, slippers, travel medication, hand sanitizer just being a few of his crucially listed items. Glancing over the list she had simply huffed and casually tossed it on top of some 'clean' (which he thought was over reaching) washing draped over the table, ignoring his indignant squawk as he retrieved the document… And it was even underlined and highlighted in bold!
When pure order and manageable homosapien sized lists (his own homonovus list was extensive) had failed to put her in motion he decided to do the big reveal and opened his suit bag.
Being confronted with tartan corduroy was too much.
Penny gave a twirl in red silk, "Well?"
Sheldon grimaced, "It's all wrong, the colour, the dress…"
"Urgh it's pointless asking you", she muttered looking over her shoulder at her reflection, "Mr 'I'll-go-to-Missy's-wedding-in-a-flash-t-shirt-and-cord-pants'. I knew I should have brought Bernadette to help." She sighed smoothing down the skirt.
"It's Doctor actually, and I see no wrong in dressing as such"
"-and that is exactly why I've bought you suit shopping."
"How very selfless and here was little old me thinking it was because you were without appropriate attire for such an occasion. I have a suit."
"We've been over this how many times now?" Running a hand over her brow, "It is a cord suit. You are more than welcome to go to Texas in that, that thing, but you'll be doing so on your own buddy."
He was being so stubborn about getting a new suit, Penny thought it would be easier to get one of Amy's monkeys to make a suit and wear it than to get Sheldon in a new one.
"Then what about the dull black suit you forced me into purchasing? I'm sure you'd believe there's nothing wrong with that one, except that you lack fashionable knowledge?"
"Except the fact that it's missing a pair of bottoms?" she retorted.
"Poor Memaw, having a Moonpie who loves to strip off the nads…" sniggering slightly as his cheeks flushed in the mirror, she turned again facing him head on. "How about I pick the suit and you can pick the tie or dickie bow? We'll go for a Bruce Wayne look, hmm?"
Considering this idea a great deal, Sheldon paused, "Well it's not the flash, but I suppose the notion of dressing as Batman's alter ego wouldn't be a remiss."
"Alright, we have a deal." She struck a pose, "Now really what do you think?"
"I believe the social term is 'that is so not cute'."
Penny was getting frustrated, they'd been at it for two hours now. All morning he'd given her his dramatic responses, 'Memaw doesn't like purple', 'Are you trying to attract hexopoda anthropods?' which she didn't have a clue how to repeat let alone understand, and of course her favourite one yet; 'Ooh myself and Leonard saw a remarkably similar dress to that on the corner of…' she had sauntered off immediately after hearing the word 'corner', consciously pulling down the hem as she fled.
This dress wasn't so bad it was quite nice if you ignored the low cut. Pulling it up over her head she tossed it onto the no pile.
It was true that they both needed new 'attire' and she had dragged him shopping so that she could look for a dress. While she had plenty at home none of them seemed to be right, and she didn't want to wear one of her dancing dresses. And if Mary, Missy and Memaw all wanted them there she would be damned if one of them wasn't looking good. And after planting the idea of dressing like Bruce Wayne to him, the chances were that it would have to be her.
The whackadoodle had probably already picked out a cape.
Even a cape would be better than wearing that suit. She had promptly zipped up the suit bag earlier and threw it in her room. There was no way in hell she was letting him wear that thing to a wedding, it would make even the priest weep.
It's a shame the last black suit she made him buy was un-wearable really, she can remember feeling giddy when he first came out the fitting room wearing it. Not that she'd ever openly admit it. He looked nothing like the geeky Sheldon she knew; he looked tall and masculine, and dare she say…oddly attractive? Well if you ignored the narcissistic personality that droned through.
It's a shame that some stalker had stolen the pants he had flung at the crowd. Her money was with his crazy fan, Yoko Ono, the one who had driven Sheldon to literally beg her to save him.
Yanking her blouse over her head she finished getting dressed, laughing softly to herself.
She wanted him to feel confident and comfortable in this new suit, especially because she knew he was more wound up than normal (if possible) and in a sharp suit he might feel less anxious about the whole thing. I mean there's got to be a reason why he wanted to avoid his own twins wedding? Saying that though, it is Sheldon.
At least she had a source of small talk at her disposal who knows that might make the 8 hour journey fly by. Who was she kidding? Besides at least this way she'd have more chance getting the reason why he wanted to avoid going home for a weekend if he was in a tin box miles high.
Oh yes, Sheldon Cooper was going home in an aeroplane.
She could imagine him plastering himself against the terminal door already.
Forcing the grin off her face, she pulled the curtain across and faced the empty spot where he should have been standing.
At this rate it might be her plastering herself against the gate. Oh God.
Penny finally found him outside the store on the phone talking to someone, and by the pinched expression on his face she could only presume for that to be Mrs Cooper, and giving him a few words by the looks of things. After a few minutes, she decided to help him out.
Tapping him on the shoulder lightly she pointed at a suit shop she raised her voice so Mary could hear,
"Sheldon I've just seen a suit which would totally suit you, but the guys closing early so we need to go …." Pausing for dramatic effect she smiled at Sheldon's confused look, "Oh are you on the phone? Sorry Sheldon, is that Mrs Cooper? Tell her I said Hi!"
Still looking slightly lost Sheldon moved his attention back to the phone.
"Yes mom that was Penny" he drawled, " Yes, she said Hi. No I'm not going to… oh fine, Penny my Mom is saying Hello too. It then seemed to click that he was meant to follow Penny's act.
"Oh my, that plain black suit looks simply too good to be true. I must try it on before the owner shuts the shop. Yes, goodbye mother."
Turning to Penny he drawls, "Perhaps once I've won the Nobel Prize and retired from physics I'll take up acting. Fear not Penny, I'd still visit the Cheesecake Factory."
Upon her glare, he does a little breathy laugh "Bazinga!"
"Yeah yeah. Well done on the phone by the way. You're acting was soo convincing."
"Was that sarcasm?"
"Now why would you think that?"
A few hours later and the unusually silent couple were sat in Penny's apartment eating sausages in pasta. They'd finally got back an hour ago and were both exhausted. Sheldon had eventually bought a suit, thanks to her help, and she could safely say it didn't have a cape or utility belt- she'd checked. She had also found what she was after, a lovely dress. She had opted not to ask for Sheldon's interference or should she say 'help' which paid out this time, it was gorgeous! But after seeing Sheldon in his suit, she no longer knew who would look better. What a pretty pair they'd make.
It was getting on and they both had to be up early in the morning, tomorrow was Friday after all, and they had a flight to catch. Originally on Wednesday when she found out that she was going to Texas, Penny's first thoughts were 'oh crap I've gotta drive for 28 hours straight.' Sheldon being Sheldon obviously fought tooth and nail for her to drive, as buses were out of the question, but once she bought up her check engine light, dangers of driving to Galveston and not to mention percentages about cleanliness of motels he soon changed his mind.
Germaphobe, it's a wonder he doesn't live in one of those space men thingy's.
Which left 3 options;
Option1 He volunteered travelling by train.
Option 2 She volunteered travelling by plane.
Option 3 She had volunteered to not going at all.
She had to grin. Sheldon was not happy at all with the idea of flying. But this way was the quickest, easiest and safest way. (Yes she had googled facts on both transports) and once that had failed she rang Mary.
Needless to say the flights were promptly booked.
She still had to drive from Pasadena to Los Angeles airport, and then from Houston to Galveston but this way was so much easier even if they had to muck about for a few hours in between. Her promise of taking him to see the Train Museum probably sweetened the deal.
Letting out a soft yawn she glanced over to Sheldon. He was robotically scooping the warm food into his mouth and looked on his last legs. The last few days had certainly been a whirlwind. But he still had that guarded look in his eyes.
Feeling her gaze he stopped, and glanced over in question.
"Is this the part where social protocol dictates that I make small talk, about the upcoming weekend?" he grumbled.
"No sweetie" she said continuing to eat, feeling better when he copied picking up her fork "I'm just thinking."
Once they had finished eating, and Sheldon had physically cleaned everything- his excuse was that he would hate to come back on Sunday to a mould infested apartment complex, better yet a rat infested one. He then proceeded to Penny's dismay to pull out a lengthy itinerary of the following day.
Not feeling the energy to argue with him she agreed and ushered him to the door.
"Remember to put some travel socks in your hand luggage Penny, it is on the list."
"Yes I will I will, and everything else on the list."
Huffing he stopped outside the door, "I understand that you're not intelligent to understand the mechanisms and bodily incidents that occur on planes. But I've researched them. You're not taking this serious enough, what if there's-"
Grasping his shoulders she stared into his blue eyes dead on. He twitched but didn't make a motion to step out of her hold.
"Sheldon we will be fine. Honest. Even Memaw has been on an aeroplane. She told you how fun it was right?"
"But Penny.." he whined.
"No buts Sheldon, we'll have fun. This weekend is going to pass so quickly we'll be there and back before you know it."
Releasing her hold she tapped him under the chin fondly, smiling when he looked away.
Seeing the pout on his face she couldn't help but tease him a little.
"Night Moonpie." That certainly bought his eyes back to hers, narrowed as they were.
"Penny only my Memaw can call me that."
"Think she'll let me call you Moonpie when we get there?" Seeing his face twitch she continued, " I hope she does. Maybe I should start practicing? Moonpie, Moonpie, Moonpie.."
Thinking of a new path of action he strode across to his apartment and turned, "Good night Kitten."
And with a quick smirk thrown her way, the boys door was slammed in her face.
That was cheap.
Penny 0-Sheldon 1