|The Soundtrack to Life
Author: newyork24-7 PM
Music is the soundtrack to life. A collection of oneshots based around songs with various pairings and themes. Inspired by but not part of the 30 day challenge.Rated: Fiction T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,568 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 06-27-12 - Published: 07-28-11 - id: 7227469
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Anyone who ever held you
Would tell you the way I'm feeling
Jackie wasn't his type - admittedly the thought of him turning down any woman was near enough laughable - but he normally hunted down the stereotypical blonde. Slowly but surely though he began to find himself more and more attracted to her, to her spark and fire.
And when he hugged her he felt what must be close to heaven. When he wrapped his arms around her he felt that strange uneasiness that always seemed to follow him around disappear, and for that short while he felt happy and content.
Anyone who ever wanted you
Would try to tell you what I feel inside
He'd watched various men make fools of themselves for her, watched them try to keep her interest and watched them fail. And despite that he'd always been the one who got the girl, he knew that it was these men who'd know exactly how he was feeling for his colleague.
The difference was that they at least had the guts to try, and he was too afraid of losing the little he had to even do that.
The only thing, I ever wanted
Was the feeling that you ain't faking
The only one you ever thought about
As the years passed, his feelings for grew until they were like nothing he'd ever felt before. It got to the stage that all he wanted was to have Jackie to himself, and to know, without a doubt that it was him she wanted. That she wanted him just as much as he wanted her, to the extent that all she could think about was him.
Wait a minute can't you see thatI wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
I, I feel you I hope you comprehend
It amazed him that she couldn't see how much he worshipped her , how far he'd go for her. In many ways he was selfish, but when it came down to her he was willing to do whatever she needed and whatever it took to make her happy. He wanted her, he loved her and deep down all he wanted was for her to feel the same.
For all the jealousy I caused you
States the reason why I'm trying to hide
Despite wanting that though he continued to deny he felt anything other than friendship towards her. He saw the sparkle of hurt and jealousy in her eyes when he flaunted other women in front of her and yet he didn't stop it. Because she needed to know that as much as he might love her, he probably wasn't what was best for her. So he hid it all away. Trying to deny it even to himself.
As for all the things you taught me
It sends my future into clearer dimensions
She continued to hold out hope for him though, he could see it in her eyes. She saved his ass on countless occasions and every time she did it he became less and less able to just ignore his feelings, and what he really wanted from his future grew less hazy.
Too many hearts are broken
A lover's promise never came with a maybe
So many words are left unspoken
The silent voices are driving me crazy
He just couldn't seem to make himself speak the words though, couldn't bring himself to say 'I love you' because although he might not have felt like this before, he also had believed himself to be in love before and the feelings had died and he'd ruined it all. He couldn't do that to Jackie, he just couldn' so instead he stayed silent, drifting from meaningless relationship to meaningless relationship, and in the meantime he'd simply have to put up with the screaming voice of protest in his head.