|The Adventures of Eds and Ro!
Author: mslizabeth PM
Rosalie and Edward are the oddest pair of best friends around, find out just how they became to be as close as they are, and how she uses that closeness to rope him into her will. :Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Friendship - Edward & Rosalie - Words: 3,746 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 08-01-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7242209
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
This is an outtake from Seattles Most! It was my contribution to Fandoms 4 Storms.
Ever wonder just how Edward and Rosalie became friends? Or what Edward meant when he said that Rosalie blackmailed him into the eligible bachelor story? Here's a little peek into their childhood, and the blackmail!
I loved writing this! I hope you enjoy getting to know these two a little more and check out the awesome banner that MrsTheKing made for me. I love it and the picture of them as kids is perfect!
The Adventures of Eds and Ro!
We're standing behind the science lab out of the sight of most of the buildings on campus as I put my hands on my hips and glare at him. "Why is it you run like a girl?" I demand suddenly as I shake my head pushing my hair out of my face when the wind blows it. I know it's a mess of tangles and stringy by this point in the day, my mother would lecture me about it, but luckily for them I'm in the way at home so she sends me away to school. But lucky for them has secretly turned out to be lucky for me! I, Rosalie Lillian Hale, have a best friend! And I don't mean my roommate Leah who thinks of nothing other than boys and Sweet Valley Twins books.
I mean seriously, does she have nothing better to do with her time? If she's going to waste her spare time reading she could at least spend it reading something quality like the BSC. I swear, Kristy is a genius and when I grow up I want to be just like her. I know she's only a kid, but she's so grown up and her parents trust her. I remember last summer when I went to Mom and tell her I want to start my own BSC during the summer and she laughed at me. She asked me what I would need with the money and said that I would be a terrible baby-sitter that I should focus on my harp lessons.
"Ro! RO! Earth to Ro!" Edward stomps his foot as he gets closer and closer to my ear as he shouts at me.
I turn to face Edward and roll my eyes "What? I was thinking about how to fix your issues. You have to give a girl some time to think and junk." I lie as I look at him, shaking my head to erase my thoughts like an etch-a-sketch. "Look, Eds, it's Red Rover and in five years no one will care if you suck at it!" I nod with a proud smile, excited for my own wisdom.
Edward nods as he takes in my words as he continues running back and forth running into the fake tackle dummy I made him out of some old clothes and the package of toilet paper Leah keeps hidden to stuff her training bra with.
Watching his weird awkward kind of flappy run I remember the day that we became friends eons ago. Ethan had made it his mission to make Edward miserable, I couldn't tell if it was because he was jealous because Edward always nails every musical solo and he gets stuck playing the triangle or if it's just because he's just mean.
I honestly, think it's the second one, because all Eds was doing was walking across the playground with his notebook tucked under his arm when Ethan let out his whistle to call everyone to attention before he jumped off his swing and kicked Eds to the ground. I, of course, had class with Eds and I thought he was a nice enough kid, but never really went out of my way to be friends with him. When I saw him fall I ran over and to help him up before Ethan could deliver the handful of rocks he was getting ready to throw at him.
I yanked my sneaker off and sent it sailing across the playground as I ran with some weird limp, probably looking a bit like Edward does when he runs. As it nailed Ethan in the head I helped Eds to his feet and growled some threat I meant at the time to Ethan as I kicked him in his business making sure everyone got to see what he deserved. Then I slung my arm around Edward's shoulders
He didn't seem to know whether he should be terrified of me or grateful. Luckily for him, he chose to be grateful and here we stood four years later as we hid in the field behind the school building as I tried to teach him how to break through during red rover.
My Eds still hasn't grown much, and I know they call me amazon behind my back. I also know it's supposed to hurt my feelings, but they just need to grow up. If they ever cracked a book they'd know that the amazons were supposed to be beautiful and brave. Who cares if they sometimes cut off one boob. I'm just getting the stupid things, and honestly, I don't get what the big deal is. They just pretty much get in the way.
"Alright, here's what we're going to do." I declare with my hands on my hips as I look down at him. "Since we can't use your size to intimidate them, since you haven't quite grown into your head yet, we're going to make you bullet like."
"Bullet like? And is my head really that disproportionate to the rest of me?"
"Did you just use the word disproportionate, because I think you answered your own question. They say the human brain weighs seven pounds, yours has to weigh like twenty."
As he snorts at me I grin, it's nice to see him fall apart a little bit and not be so stinking perfect all the time.
"Just look at me and do what I do." I roll my eyes at him as I duck down like I'm a linebacker for the Seahawks. "Start like this and then take off, but keep yourself low and tight, you'll be like a mini-power house like that."
"That's good!" I tell him as he ducks down into the football form and goes at my makeshift dummy again.
I let out a whoop when for the first time he successfully knocks the thing to the ground. Doing a happy dance as I clap, seriously, sometimes the kid made me proud and the idea that he could break through Ethan and his gang and maybe they'd back off him made me glad for him.
"That was perfect! Use your speed and then bundle up your body and shove through. Just this one time, Eds, see if you can knock me down." I position myself in front of him as I watch him.
"Aww...No way, Ro, if I knock you down then you're just gonna get spitting mad."
"Stop whining and do it!" I tell him as I narrow my eyes at him. He was smart enough to know that meant that shoes were gonna start flying if he didn't do what I wanted him to do. I have to admit having a boy for a best friend worked out way better than any of the girls I knew. He wasn't focused on stupid things like clothes or kissing like my other friends were, and he was the only boy who didn't care that I was better than him at kick ball and baseball, oh and basketball. It's not my fault I was built to play.
"Shut up, Ro, I'm trying to focus." He growled at me, and just this once I decide to let him get away with it. I watch as he crouches a little tucking his elbows and leaning his head forward a little bit before charging me like a tiny battering ram. I had braced myself only moments earlier, but nothing prepared me for the force that he knocked us both to the ground with when he slammed into me.
"OUCH!" I push him off of me and glare at him which results in both of us dissolving into laughter. He was right him knocking me down made me so mad I wanted to spit on him, but I channeled all of the finishing school lessons that mom was forcing me to attend and managed to laugh instead.
"Way to go, Eds, if you ever knock me down like that again though I'll make you wish Ethan was our best friend." I shove his shoulder as we both lay back in the grass, studying the clouds silently for a few minutes lost in our own thoughts.
"Ro, you know that you don't have to do this, right?" He asked me his eyes darting over at me nervously. "This whole protection bit, I can fight my own battles. You don't have to worry about me. I'm sure you're getting sick of it."
"You're my best friend. That's what we do. I take care of you, you take care of me. Just remember that someday when I call you up and need a favor. You owe me, Eds, and one of these days I will find a way to collect." I nod matter of factly, because let's face it. I knew that all the girls were taller than the boys right now, but I knew that in a few years time it wouldn't be like that. They'd catch up and then Edward wouldn't need me anymore. It was rather nice to be needed. Mom and Dad sent me to school and on holidays had Nanny pick me up, but they made it clear by never showing on parents day that they didn't need me.
I smile and stand as I watch Rose enter the restaurant. Heads turn to catch a glimpse of her, male or female it doesn't seem to matter she has a presence and she demands attention just by walking into a room. If I was smart I would have taken my mother's advice and taken her off the market ages ago.
I am a realist and I know how rare it is to meet and connect with someone like the one Rose and I have. Add that connection to our history, and you would think that we would be one of those rare childhood love statistics, but alas, her heart belongs to another. Not to mention that she chucked enough shoes in my direction in middle school that the thought of taking her to bed with me made me cringe a little.
Hugging her, I kiss her cheek as we settle down in our corner booth. It's rare for us to have time to meet up with each other for a leisurely lunch like this. Even rarer that Rose was the one offering to pick up the tab. I knew she was up to something, and I had a feeling one of the million favors I owed her from the beginning of our friendship was being called into play.
I'd play whatever benefit her mother had put her up to asking me to participate in, I knew how tumultuous that relationship was. If I could do something to ease it a little I would, because I'd pretty much do anything for Ro. Some days I thought that's why she kept me around.
"So what do I owe the honor of seeing you outside of a charity event?" I ask finally once our waitress clears out after getting out drink orders and shoving her overly enhanced person in my face one too many times for my patience.
Rose smirks and raises an eyebrow as she reclines. Without glancing under the table I'm sure she's swinging her heel on her toe enticingly. It always amazes me to look at the pictures of us as kids, because it was as if one day Rose suddenly woke up one morning and decided she was done being a tomboy. There was no gradual progression one day she was scarfing nachos with me and wearing her dirty jeans and Nike t-shirt two sizes too big and the next day she came into class in a sundress with lip gloss and her hair perfectly pressed.
I would have been lying if I didn't admit that I had been shaking in my Doc Martens that day, I thought I had lost my best friend. Who am I trying to kid all these years later? My onlyfriend. However, she was the same Rose on the inside though, as soon as class ended she was at my desk rambling on and on about whatever irritation Leah had caused her. When I mention her new look and the possibility if something had triggered it. I was rewarded with a heeled sandal upside my head and it was never discussed like that.
Everyone stopped calling her amazon behind her back and instead were whispering about how hot she was. Surprisingly, people who would never look at me twice were stopping me in the hall asking if they could sit our table at the next meal. Apparently, put Rose into some fitted clothes to show off the fact that she really is a girl and suddenly everyone wanted her.
"Eh...I just like getting the chance to watch women hit on you and you squirm in your seat." She finally states with a grin as she looks over at me.
"Really? Well, I'm glad I can provide you some amusement along with your afternoon dining, Ro."
Rose laughs as she shrugs, "Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch, Eds. Now I know what it was like when I decided to be a girl in high school. Except women just push up on you and try to pick you up using their bodies."
"Do they think that really works?" I snort as I take a drink, it's not the most sophisticated move ever, but it's Rose and if I decided to pull an Al Bundy and unbutton my pants and scratch myself I doubt she'd blink at all. "I mean seriously, it doesn't work like that for guys if I just came up to a woman and pressed arousal into her nether regions they would be calling the cops on me."
"Her nether regions? Seriously, Eds, just call it her ass." She laughs shaking her head. "You always have to make things more complicated than they are."
"To call it her ass makes it sound degrading or as if I'm comparing it with a farm animal, and while I have run into one or two that might size up in that direction, I would never be as uncouth as to say it."
"Whatever." Rose rolls her eyes as she looks at him "But it is true, it seems a bit unfair that men have to pretend to put thought into their pick up attempts and all we have to do is flash a little boob or a little leg and men melt onto the floor at our feet."
"Which is precisely why I'm still single." I state with a nod which causes her to giggle, although I'm not positive what's so funny about the statement.
"You're still single, because you're persnickety and between Tanya and Victoria you're too scared to take a risk with someone no matter how many times I offer to hook you up."
"Your roommate or whomever it is this week hold no appeal to me. I'm happy and I'm content in myself. I don't need a relationship to feel validated."
"You know for Mr. 'Go-with-the-feeling-follow-your-heart', you spend a lot of time alone."
I raise an eyebrow as I try to pretend her words don't have a bit of sting to them. I know she's right I am going to have to eventually put myself back out there, and attempt to find someone that could fulfill the longing that generally only surfaces when I spend large periods of time with my nieces. I do want that happy ending for myself, eventually, it just feels as if it's years off for me. I'm still young and the last thing I need is to try to add a relationship onto my already full plate.
"I know you don't approve of my single-dom, but it's just the way of things." I finally say hoping the close this segment of dissect Edward's life, so that we can move onto something more evasive in her life or maybe even the reason for this lunch.
"What if I told you that I had the solution you are looking for. You just didn't realize it was the perfect solution, and that it doesn't involve me hooking you up with any one."
The twinkle in her eye makes me nervous, it's the twinkle that always seemed to land us in the Head Master's office back in our school days. "Why is it I still feel like I'm damned if I agree to whatever scheme you have up your sleeve?"
"You have no faith in me, and after everything we've been through together that hurts a little."
I snort again shaking my head, only Rose can elicit such an eloquent prose out of me twice ten minutes. "Yeah, yeah. Well, one of us here thought it would be a brilliant idea to let fill Head Master Lincoln's office full of condom balloons?"
"I told him that not changing the school mascot from Trojans could be disastrous. Besides, I may have been the one to fill his office, but YOU were the one you figured out how to rig that machine so that it blew thousands of bouncy balls and no one could walk in the stairwell before first period. I stand firm that we both had equal shares in that prank."
Our food is laid before us, as the waitress attempts once more to catch my eye with her artificial assets as I keep my attention solely on Rose as we thank her quietly. I can't help but roll my eyes as her hand lingers on my shoulder as she asks if we need anything else and Rose sends her away with a scathing glare and cold words.
"Alright, tell me about your plan." I finally say once we've start eating our meal, skipping past the niceties that it tastes wonderful as I study her, curious as to how she thinks she can fix what she feels like is wrong with my life.
"Well, you know I got that promotion at work earlier in the year, right?"
"I remember that, I'm still sorry I missed out on your victory party. Damned the symphony and being scheduled on the same night." I laugh as I look at her, my intrigue upped a few notches knowing that she's not calling in one of her favors for the sake of her mother.
"It's okay, you're forgiven, but if you miss my birthday I might have to cut you out of my will." Her sparkling laugh is enough to draw attention in the room back to her as she continues "I have the opportunity to have a hand in certain decisions now."
"Oh no, Rose with power, maybe I should have had a talk with them before they promoted you, I could have warned them what you are like." I laugh feeling the kick to my shin, glad that we have at least grown up enough that shoes are no longer flying towards my head. "I'm sorry, so what do these certain decisions have to do with my love life?"
"Well, I think that you should let me feature you as one of Seattle's Most Eligible Bachelor's."
The words are leaving her mouth and processing in my brain, and nothing could have surprised me more. Which is why I end up sputtering and spitting my wine as my eyes grow wide when the pink liquid splatters onto her face, and I quickly moved to wipe up the part that had marring her appearence "Ro, I'm sorry . I just-"
Rose holds her hand up to silence me as she cleans her face of the wine and then breaks out in her most dazzling smile as her eyes glow with mischief. "Now you owe me, Eds."
The words are enough to bring dread instead of the laughter they brought when we were in school. "Ro, you know that I would just about anything for you, but this is beyond my capacity. I don't want to let you hook me up with your best friend, why on earth would I want you to pimp me out to the entire city?"
"Two words for you, Edward Cullen." Rose calls me to attention using my full name an act she never pulls unless she's deathly serious. "Red. Rover."
"Yeah, yeah. I owe you, but I want you to know that I'm doing this under extreme duress and protest. I think that I am a terrible candidate for this article. I think it would be much smarter for you to find someone more outgoing and bachelor like."
"More bachelor like? Get real, Eds, besides you owe me..."
With that I know I am officially stuck in this article for the moment as I ponder how I can convince the reporter not to use me. Surely, the poor sap will be so busy tripping over the other four guys that I will be able to dodge them until it's so late that they have to go with someone else out of desperation. With a sigh I accept my defeat gracefully as I murmur my assent as I mentally work on my plan to avoid whoever this reporter is at all costs.