|Winning Is Rarely Anything
Author: Robina Snyder PM
Karasu is alive and has absolutely no interest in ever seeing Kurama again. Short drabble.Rated: Fiction T - English - Karasu - Words: 1,673 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 08-06-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7259932
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"You actually won your match," Bui says, leaning against the rubble of what had once been a stadium before he helped to blow it up. Sakyo's ridiculous explosion couldn't destroy anything so far away, like us.
"Little good it'll do me now," I point out. The point was to win so I could have a chance at winning my freedom. I don't particularly like having it won for me. It feels too much like cheating.
"You're alive," he pointed out.
"Wasn't hard," I mutter. Living, staying alive, surviving things no one ought to be able to. This is my specialty.
"How'd you do it, you looks dead enough," he says. When was the last time we'd had a real conversation.
"Oxygen in the plant, found it, exploded it. It was big enough, but it stopped trying to eat me," I say. I'm very tired, sitting up only because my partner in crime has me propped against something I think used to be a stadium wall. "You didn't have to come and get me," I point out.
"Figured it was the only chance at us getting out alive," Bui says.
"Never took you for a coward," I say.
"I lost my match to someone whose only goal seems to be getting stronger no matter what the costs… but I don't think he'd ever listen to another person… made me wonder why I follow orders," Bui says, stringing more words together than I've heard from him in years. "Unlike you, they don't keep me on a short leash. I just train, do what I'm told, and hate the man who beat me. I was holding myself enslaved," he said.
"Wasn't true in my case," I say. It made sense. I wasn't like Bui. I wasn't a commoner. I came from wealth. I had a lot more pride than I do now. I tried to escape over and over, so the clipped by wings and kept me locked up tight until I could be useful… and I was useful.
"They already thought you were dead, figured I might as well," he says.
"You bothered with my mask too," I say through it.
"You're a scary bastard without it," Bui says. Like he isn't without his armor.
"Why did you come for me?" I ask. I don't have friends, I don't have lovers. I try not to have family, but there are just some things you can't avoid.
"No good reason… just the fact that you were still alive even after everyone thought you were dead. Seemed a waste to let you die for real," he says with a shrug.
"You sound like you have feelings for me. That's dangerous," I warn. I don't care about him anymore than I care about the stone I'm leaning on.
"Don't be stupid," Bui says. "You're an annoying part of my life, like a pet cockroach," he says.
"Am I supposed to thank you for that lovely image?" I ask with a weak smile. I feel so tired. The blood sucking plant really did nearly kill me. It'll be a while before I'll be able to move at all.
"If you feel like it, lover boy," Bui says.
"I forgot how much noise you used to make," I groan. Bui was a chatterbox without peer when I first met him. It got us both into fights. We weren't friends, he was just more interesting than being bored, and low enough that my family and their detectives would never think that I'd hang around him. "lover boy?" I ask.
"You being all hung up on that fox," he points out with a smirk.
"Oh, him," I say. How could I forget?
"Not very enthusiastic now that he nearly killed you?"
"No," I say with a sigh. "It was interesting seeing him all cornered, but I don't think he's my type," I say with a sigh. "I had such high hopes too. He was so wonderfully afraid, it was fun. But I don't like people who beat me. Then they're just annoying," I tell Bui, who laughs.
"I forget how weird you are," he said.
"You really have changed," I muse.
"Mmm, what?" he asks like he wasn't paying attention.
"You're back to how you once were, finally woke up," I mutter. I envy him that ability. I'm not made to be able to go back: mentally, emotionally, or physically. I shunned my race a long time ago, and I plan to stay that way, but the enslavement has simply pushed me farther down a path I was already going.
"What are you going to do now?" Bui asks.
"Survive," I say. "Nothing's changed."
Bui shakes his head. "Except that you aren't owned any more, and can do what you want," he says.
"Not that different. I don't have a sunrise I need to see anymore… maybe I'll go back to where I killed that senator. I want to try that… grits thing again," I muse.
"The place where you murdered a bunch of humans and put yourself on spirit world's eternal hit list? May I suggest a different city?" he offers and a smirk.
"Like I wasn't on that list before?"I ask. "But no, it will be too different, there's no point in going and reminiscing over the good times," I say with a wistful sigh.
"You mean the time that you killed everybody an blew up a dinner?" Bui asks like he can't let it go.
"I met my first human love there," I say.
"The waitress you murdered?" he asks.
"I won't expect you to understand true love," I say.
"I won't expect you to either," he says.
"I'm going to explode you when I get my energy back," I finally decide.
"You owe me one for dragging your ass out of that stadium. Apparently Toguro started stealing souls of weaker demons… without me you'd have been inside Toguro," he says.
"Damn," I mutter, glad to not have been there, but just thinking about it would give me the shivers if I had the energy to move at all.
"Now what?" I ask.
"We get off this island," Bui says.
"Like either of us are fit for travel or have anywhere else to go?" I ask.
"There won't be any more boats once these leave, and I don't fancy living here or having to fashion a raft out of trees," Bui says. "We'll find our way into the cargo hull," he says. I stare at him.
"You really think we can sneak anywhere?" He's nine feet tall and emits energy like heat from a furnace.
"Yes," he says confidently and explains no more. We lapse into silence. I don't mind, the chatter's hurting my brain anyway. I'd rather try and sleep to conserve energy. I realize that Bui is asleep next to me. I'm not n the most comfortable position, but I think with as tired as I am that it really isn't going to matter.
I'm free now. It's an odd thing to think about. I'm really free. Even if my family finds me I can't go back. I have no place to go, no one to control me, and no one to control. I have nothing to live for… well that's not true, I have grits, or at least I will until I get there and have a bowl. I'll figure it out when that happens. Who knows, I might even find another girlfriend, another pretty little human who's willing to defy me. Maybe I'll even let this one live a little longer. Humans aren't so impossible to be interested in. In their weakness they are very crafty in their desperation to live and go on. I can relate.
Someone once said that everything is survival of the fittest, and the fittest will mate and make more of themselves. I'm not sure how true that is. Those that survive will survive, whether they are fit to live or even shine shoes. Those that will not survive will not, not matter how good or wonderful or pure. In fact, the good and pure and wonderful don't survive. To survive you must kill, and if you do that then you are not fit to live… at least not as a human. As a demon your fine. Demons are powerful, and yet we are still dominated by humans… easily. Humans are a sign against the survival of the fittest, because the good do not survive. The strong don't survive either, they dominate. They dominate humans and demons… and I think I would like to dominate them. Short lived and weak in body, yet strong in spirit and need to survive and dominate.
Sometimes I wonder if the demons aren't closed off from the human world for our own protection. I like things I can control. Maybe I can control a bit of humanity and make myself believe that I am fit to survive by demon standards, or fit to survive by human standards. The last one won't last for very long, not if I have to keep my mask off like the last time.
Sleep will do me good. Tomorrow I will worry. Tonight I will visit an old lover and take pleasure in things my body cannot.
A/N: Karasu's logic screws with my head. It doesn't make sense, I tried to argue with him, but he stubbornly says it does. My mental philosophy teacher tells him it doesn't, but what does the teacher know? He's just a weak human. Be glad you're not in my head.