|Spock's Dictionary of Colloquialisms
Author: Darkwood Princess PM
Everyday phrases confound even the most creative Vulcan. Spock compiles a dictionary of human phrases during the Enterprise's five year mission.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Spock - Chapters: 25 - Words: 27,027 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 04-05-13 - Published: 08-10-11 - id: 7274501
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: Everyone can again thank my sister for these brilliant ideas. Of course Spock would have a dictionary of human colloquialisms.
I own nothing. Not even the knickers to knot.
Don't Get Your Knickers in a Knot: To become emotional compromised over an unimportant and easily resolved matter.
Alpha Shift on the bridge was usually a pleasant enough matter, as far as pleasant could be applied to any type of work. The captain, as long as he got a Red Delicious and a cup of coffee, was always cheerful and if Mr. Chekov or Mr. Sulu seemed tired after a late night movie binge or something of the sort, they always put forth their best effort to be cordial. Of course Lieutenant Uhura was always wide awake and professional, the highest praise a Vulcan could award to a human being.
Only one member of the bridge crew was ever cranky, and that could be explained away easily as just the temperament of their resident country doctor.
However to be completely honest, -and Vulcans thrived on honesty- this rosy picture of Alpha Shift would not be complete without the day's requisite disaster. Even when the Enterprise was just sent to chart stars or deliver supplies to colonies, some new monster or civilization (or in the case of the Gorn, both) would show up and steal away the peace which often filled the early morning.
Today's disaster came in the form of an abandoned ship just left floating in space. Upon closer inspection, a name could be made out.
"Analysis Mr. Spock?" Kirk called from his chair, swiveling it to stare at the science officer.
"I believe it is a ship named the," Spock paused to get a closer look at the readings, "S.S. Botany Bay." An odd tremor passed through him at the mention of the name, but, passing off the tremor as an effect of the terran air conditioning settings was easier than considering it some form of premonition. Vulcans did not believe in such matters. "From the appearance of the hull and the shape of the ship, it dates from the Eugenics Wars of the 1990s. Perhaps we should be cautious in dealing with such a ship. There may be.."
"Aw relax Spock, don't get your knickers in a knot." Doctor McCoy complained as he walked off the lift, customary scowl already in place. "You needed me Jim?" Jim nodded, trying to hide a smile at the brief look of confusion that crossed Spock's face.
"Doctor. What is a knicker and how does one knot it?"
The bridge was silent for a moment as the crew tried not to dissolve into laughter. Bones let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle and tried to explain the term to his Vulcan crewmate.
"It means don't get upset about somethin' before you've even dealt with it."
"Doctor. To become upset is a human emotion, therefore…"
"Yeah, Yeah, I know, you don't get upset." Bones waved a hand in the air and walked over towards Jim.
Kirk tried not to laugh at his two friends and leaned forward, "Take us closer Mr. Sulu. Impulse Power only."
They would later find out that this was easily an event to get your knickers in a knot over.
AN: Kudos to anyone who gets the joke! Reviews are love. Flames will be used to cook Plomeek soup.