|The Phantom Pestilence
Author: Weird and. . .no - just weird PM
Darth Maul might be a menace, but when Puck accidentally enters the Star Wars universe via a badly written and non-rhyming spell, he is little more than an amusing pest, but will his antics cause a disturbance in the Force?Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 573 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 08-20-11 - id: 7306626
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Puck was bored. Titania was asleep, and no humans had wandered into the woods lately. He had turned all the trees into giant, brightly coloured toadstools, given the squirrels needle-sharp claws and teeth, enlarged the ants and spiders so that they towered over the trees and turned the streams into rivers of lava. So he turned to his last resort; Titania's magic book. He crept over to the hollow tree where he had hidden it after he had stolen it a week before; that had been a very funny trick; Titania had been horrified that her precious book had disappeared, and had been thoroughly convinced that Oberon had stolen it. The fact that Oberon had run away, terrified of her rage, had not helped his position. Puck chuckled as he remembered Titania's fury at Oberon's disappearance. He leafed through the book, hoping to find an interesting spell. He saw spells for flight, for making things, for breaking things, for time travel, for teleportation...but nothing particularly different, or exciting. Then he saw it. The perfect spell to start exactly the kind of trouble that Puck liked. A summoning spell. Puck wondered what he should summon. A minotaur? Pegasus? A Greek God? Then he thought of the perfect thing. He would summon a dragon. Excited, Puck read the spell as loud as he could:
"Movety, Travelly, Starship,
Take me away, and make it snappy!"
As soon as he had finished, Puck knew that it didn't sound right. There was a flash of purple light and then Puck was not in his woodland any more. He was in a remote desert, still clutching the spell book. Puck wondered if he would be stuck here forever, but then something large and silver landed on his head. Feeling somewhat squashed, Puck crawled out from underneath the Thing, and found himself watched by three inquisitive faces.
"Wassa tha?" said a strange, long-eared pink thing.
"I do not know, Jarjar," replied a long haired man...who was wearing a dress!
"Umm...wearest thou thine mother's petticoat?" Puck asked him politely, wondering if the man had accidentally taken clothes from his mother's wardrobe.
"Actually, it's a robe, and it's mine, not my mother's," corrected the man, "My name is Qui-Gon-Jinn by the way, pleased to meet you".
"Master, I have a bad feeling about this," murmured a short-haired man, "A really bad feeling..."
"Yoosa alllllways have bad feeling, Obi-Wan," chipped in Jarjar.
Whilst they were arguing about whether Obi-Wan's bad feeling was valid or not, Puck wandered off. After about half an hour's bored wandering he reached an interesting town like thing that was made of sand. As he wandered through a busy marketplace selling untold wonders, he heard rumours of an exciting race that was to take place later that day. After thoroughly exploring (and slightly altering) the racetrack, Puck returned to the startline to find a host of strange creatures with smaller creatures sitting on their backs. One of the smaller creatures, a greyish fellow, was sneaking around injuring the larger animals. Puck decided to help. He crept up to the only riderless creature and began his mischief. He stuffed berries into all the gaps and added leaves to the strange liquid that hid behind one of the hatches. Then he saw the grey creature heading towards him, and hid.