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Entertainment
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DeliciousXDistractions PM
In which Sakura struggles to find entertainment while in the care of the Akatsuki - Nine criminals are no match for an incredibly bored pinkette.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Sakura H. & Akatsuki - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,859 - Reviews: 242 - Favs: 323 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 06-08-12 - Published: 08-23-11 - id: 7316253
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Day One ~ Boredom

Sakura couldn't be certain, but she always held the mentality that being taken captive was a frightening situation. She would think that her mind would be in a continuous cycle of strategic thought, desperately creating a plan of escape. She should be worried and apprehensive. She should be on constant alert for any mistakes the enemy might make. She should fear for her very life, especially when taking the identity of her captor into consideration.

But no. Itachi Uchiha proved to be the most boring captor in the history of the world. He didn't speak. He didn't even so much as glance in her direction. His obvious disinterest in her had been infuriating to begin with, but the silent routine had grown stale. She had taken solace in the fact that Kisame Hoshigake was hilarious when provoked, and spent every waking moment pestering the sharky bastard. Unfortunately for her, Kisame had departed from their company the previous night and would return later in the evening. She wasn't privy to his reasoning for abandoning her with the silent Uchiha, but she loathed him greatly for it. So now, as she lounged against the bark of a tree in a manner that was far more relaxed than your average captive, Sakura found herself in a state of mind numbing boredom.

Despite the fact that her chakra had been thoroughly drained and her hands were bound behind her, she didn't feel the least bit intimidated. She must be insane to be so nonchalant in the company of a cold blooded killer, but Sakura just couldn't find it within herself to be afraid. Not even a little. She let a dramatic sigh escape her lips, and wasn't surprised in the least when Itachi continued to sharpen his kunai as if she didn't exist. What was that bastard's problem? She had spent three days in the presence of the two Akatsuki Members, and with each passing moment her boredom swelled. They hadn't asked her a single question, nor had they informed her of their purpose for capturing her. There was no torture of her physical being, and no invasion of her mind by means of the Sharingan. It was frustrating to be left in the dark, and so she planned to bide her time.

She would escape when the perfect opportunity arose, but she soon realized that she would die of boredom long before said opportunity presented itself. Sliding her pools of green onto the handsome countenance of Itachi, Sakura couldn't help but pout. Why were the sexy ones so evil? Sasuke was sexy, and he sold his soul to a pedophile. Gaara was sexy, and he nearly killed her. Hell, most of the Akatsuki members are sexy! She nodded sagely to herself, feeling as if her mental point had been proven.

Raising her eyes onto the lush canopy of leaves, Sakura thought back on earlier in the day. When she awoke that morning, Sakura found herself filled with a new resolve. There was a task she had set out to accomplish, and she would make sure she succeeded. The odds were stacked against her and the chances of achieving her goal were damn near impossible, but she was determined. If she wished to live through this nightmare, then her mission would have to be a success. She turned her narrowed gaze onto the target of this suicidal escapade. Oh, he was going down.

Mission - Make Itachi Uchiha laugh.

She stared at him. To her unrelenting chagrin, he continued to ignore her. She intensified her gaze, melting holes into the side of his perfect face with the sheer heat of her eyes. He didn't spare her a single flicker of acknowledgement, causing a violent twitch to take up residence in her right eye. Damn him. It was time for Plan B - Make awkward small talk.

"Soooooo...Akatsuki, huh?"

"..."

"Personally, I would have chosen an evil organization with a bit more class."

"..."

"Do you even have a secret lair?"

"..."

"All bad guys have a secret lair!"

"..."

"...Do you want to play strip poker?"

At those words, he paused in his kunai sharpening. Sakura almost squealed. It wasn't much, but she was already making progress! His crimson gaze burned into her for a long moment, and she shrugged in feigned apathy. "What? We both know you're a total Sex God." She spoke as if they were discussing the weather, but inside she was dying to watch his reaction play out. You can imagine her disappointment when his only response was to continue the maintenance of his weapon. 'Damnit! It would be easier talking to a brick wall!' Sakura hissed in the safety of her mind. She decided to take up a different tactic. If she couldn't coax him into conversation, she would annoy the hell out of him until he had no choice but to pay attention to her.

"When's Kisame coming baaaaack? I'm boooooored!"

"..."

"Aren't hot guys supposed to be entertaining?"

"..."

"Oh! Let's play I Spy!"

"..."

"I spy something...red!"

"..."

"Damnit..." Sakura muttered sourly, not at all pleased with his lack of interest in her. She was bored! It was his sacred duty as her captor to keep her entertained! Maybe she should try to escape, just to garner his attention for a brief moment. Sakura nodded to herself. She gathered up her courage, before leaping to her feet. Itachi slithered his dark eyes onto her, and she almost wet herself at the intensity of his gaze. 'No, Sakura! Don't give in!' She mentally chided herself. She yawned loudly, before stretching her arms backwards (as far as she could stretch them in their current bound state). "Well, I'm just going to take a little walk."

And then she turned in the direction of the forest to start her journey. All went well for the first two steps, but then her progress was put to a halt. A muscled chest appeared before her, and Sakura couldn't stop herself from bumping into the random torso. What the hell? Sakura wrinkled her nose at the accursed body part, before risking a peek at the face of her captor. Itachi's crimson pools were smoldering in silent anger, and Sakura was beginning to regret this idea. "Don't test me." His voice was dangerously soft.

At the sound of his velvety voice, a wide grin split her face into two. She beamed up at him. "You spoke! Actual words!" She squealed. When his only response was the slight narrowing of his eyes, Sakura couldn't help the giggle that escaped her. She must sound so insane. "I'm so proud of you." She gushed. Itachi wasn't to certain when this girl departed with her sanity, but he would have to put an end to her nonsense. The three tomas began to whirl wildly through his crimson pools. Sakura barely had time to gasp, as she was sucked into the blissful world of unconsciousness.

It was late in the evening when Sakura was returned to the world of the living. Her pale lids fluttered open to reveal the dancing golden flames of a fire. She flexed her arms, and was thoroughly disappointed to feel the chakra rope biting into her tender flesh. "Ugh, I thought it was a dream." She murmured sourly. She wasn't too happy about waking up in the middle of the forest. Her muscles were sore, and her pride was bruised. She could feel eyes burning into the back of her skull, and she instantly knew who it was. She was torn with being super pissed off, and secretly delighted. If Itachi was taking the time out of his busy schedule to stare at her, then she must have caught his attention! But she couldn't just ignore the fact that he knocked her unconscious. Who does he think he is?

She rolled around to face her captor. The soft glow of the fire illuminated his handsome face, and Sakura could barely keep the drool from leaking past her lips. Damn hormones. His ebony eyes flashed with an unreadable emotion, and Sakura felt curiosity grip her heart. What went on inside the mind of a criminal? Maybe he was imagining the best possible way to kill her. Itachi didn't seem like the messy type…No! She had to focus!

Her eyes narrowed into a fierce glare. "Hey! You knocked me out, didn't you?" Well, duh. The answer to that should be quite obvious. Itachi quirked a slender brow at the ridiculous question, thus causing Sakura to feel like a complete idiot. She twitched. "Well that wasn't very nice!" She informed him.

A rustling in the leaves captured the attention of both shinobi. Sakura felt her heart swell with hope. Perhaps it was her fellow Konoha Shinobi. Did they discover her whereabouts? Were they here to rescue from her terrible fate? All her hopes were shattered when Kisame leapt into the clearing. Well, at least Kisame was entertaining. Sakura didn't think she could handle another second alone with the silent Uchiha. A blinding grin broke out on her elfin face. "Kisame!" She threw herself onto the S-Class Criminal, and buried her face in his massive chest. She didn't really give a damn how inappropriate her current position was. "I missed you soooooooo much!" She sniffled pitifully.

Kisame blinked stupidly at their pink headed captive. He raised his eyes onto his stoic partner for some sort of explanation, but the only response he received was silence. "What did you do to her, Itachi?"

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