Author: Druna Malgood PM
"Charlie told me once that writing letters helped him at times when he was at his lowest or just needed someone to listen. I thought it was a good idea." Patrick writes a letter to Brad.Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Brad & Patrick - Words: 485 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 08-28-11 - id: 7331816
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I didn't write a return address on this envelope, because I don't really think you'd want to write back, after everything that's happened. But I just want to clear the air. Charlie told me once that writing letters helped him at times when he was at his lowest or just needed someone to listen. I thought it was a good idea. Charlie always has good ideas, he's the smartest kid I know.
When I first began trying to write a letter, I split my heart out as I wrote it to no one in particular and I discovered all I wrote was about you. About my experiences with you and I how I felt. But I decided that instead of writing about you, I should write too you.
I miss you, Brad, more than anything. I know I shouldn't say that or feel this way, especially since you called me a faggot and your friends beat the shit out of me, but I do. I just can't explain it. Perhaps that's the downfall of the human race; we feel things that are bad for us.
College is great and I have a boyfriend now. His name's Greg and he's open about his sexuality. We hold hands and kiss in public, not on Golf courses in the dark or in closets at parties. Not that I didn't cherish those moments with you and that I don't understand why you had to keep us a secret. I do, I really do and I am sorry for what he did to you, Brad.
Greg loves me though and it's great and everything but I'm not sure how I feel about him, especially as I care for you so much. Is it possible to love two people at the same time? I don't know but I wish I could.
Perhaps I'm too obtuse because I never want to let go of these feelings I have for you.
I've stopped taking drugs and drinking too, I've cleaned up. For my parents, for Sam, for Charlie and for Greg. For everyone who loves me. It was hard to stop smoking but I did it.
I did it because I realised that living is more important than any substance and the pain I tried to make go away with the drugs and the drink, well that was just a sign that I was living.
And I really hope, wherever you are that you're happy and that you're living too. It would kill me to think that you're not. And I hope that when the day comes, if it hasn't already, that you find it's okay to be yourself. Because a lot of people will love you for who you really are, Brad. They will.