|You Are Not Alone
Author: UltimateOptimist PM
Bobby sits alone with his thoughts...what's happening to him? Luckily someone is there to give him some much needed support. Set after 1x10/1x11 so very vague spoilersRated: Fiction K - English - Friendship - B. Trang - Words: 1,452 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 08-31-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7340432
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Just a little plot bunny I had when watching 1x10 and 1x11. Hope this isn't too OOC and is ok! I haven't wrote anything for an extremely long time so...here it goes!
DISCLAIMER I DON'T OWN COMBAT HOSPITAL OR ANY CHARACTERS ASSOCIATED
Bobby watched as the base steadily got quieter, savouring the peace. The base was always a hub of activity, but as the light of the day dwindled so did the amount of people outside. It had been an extremely busy few weeks, even for their usual standards and everyone was just exhausted.
For Bobby it was both a relief and a curse. The anger issues which, according to Grace, had been slowly developing since he'd arrived in Kandahar, had a tendency to show the more worn down he'd become, however using some of the techniques he'd researched he was able to control these much better. The plus side was that the more he focused on work the less time he had to mull over what he was becoming and how people were acting around him. He was just relieved that the soft cast on his arm had been removed so he could practice medicine properly instead of watching from the side. It also meant that the constant reminder of the fight, and his subsequent actions had been removed.
He wasn't sure if people on base were treating and viewing him differently as he was just too mortified to be around their company any more. He worked with them of course, when treating patients he concentrated on the job in hand, then as soon as it was over he retreated to chart or back to his room alone. He tried to distance himself from everyone but to be honest lately they'd been so busy it really wasn't difficult to do. On a few evenings, when they had finished with patients and charting, Rebecca had dragged him to dinner, but he'd left as soon as he felt it was polite enough to do so. He'd spent the whole time analyzing people's reactions to him while trying hard to act as normal as possible – he just couldn't bare it. He could see how some people seemed to constantly be on edge when he was around, as if they were afraid he would explode again. The only person he was in regular contact with was Grace. He had sessions with her every three days or so, despite how busy either of them was. These appointments were purely professional, discussing the matter in hand but Bobby still felt uncomfortable. He liked to think that they he and Grace were friends, so the idea that she was hearing all his thoughts and feelings put him ill at ease. Even now though he wondered just what she thought of him – were they still friends? He also noted how guilty she felt about missing the session just before his outburst – he didn't need a psychology degree to see that, increasing his own guilt as he didn't like the idea she was beating herself up over his actions.
Colonel Marks had seemed to have gotten over his anger, but Bobby assumed the Colonel had lost any respect for him he might have had. Marks had pulled him aside after rounds to ask how he was feeling and how his sessions were going. Bobby had replied in his usual reserved fashion, trying extremely hard not to show how awkward he found the conversation. He knew the reason for the older man's concern; he needed to make sure his trauma leader was keeping it together.
Wearily the doctor closed his eyes against the dull ache in his head; breathing deep he rested his head against side rails. What the hell was happening to him? Who was this person that now looked back at him in the mirror? He was so embarrassed and, well, ashamed at what had occurred during the Hockey game, he really couldn't understand what had made him snap like that. But his conduct since then, that's what really scared him; he was so much snappier now, as if his temper was always just lurking beneath the surface ready to rear its ugly head at any given moment. That was his true concern, the hockey incident and punching a wall could be written off as isolated events, but he could no longer deny it was just a small part of a much larger problem. The sessions with Grace were helping, but to him it just didn't seem enough. He wasn't the Bobby Trang that came out to Afghanistan that's for sure. Or was he? Had he always been like this, just now he could no longer repress that side of him? There just seemed to be so many questions, and every session just seemed to raise more.
Will spotted Bobby as he approached the step; he was extremely concerned about the young Captain. His whole posture seemed defeated as he slumped over, leaning his head on the rails. The past few weeks had been tough on everyone, there had been many patients and sadly many fatalities, but he knew that Bobby had been struggling slightly before the busy weeks had even started.
At first Will had been angry, disappointed and, in all honestly, slightly disgusted at the captain's behaviour at the Hockey game and at whatever he had done to upset Areff so much. It was tough out here for everyone; it wasn't an excuse to behave the way he had done. However he had seen the change in the young medic since then, making him realize that Dr Trang was extremely ashamed of himself, this made Will think twice about his opinions. He saw how withdrawn the usual confident captain had been, shying away from everyone around him, in a trauma he took control but immediately after it was over he seemed to shrink back into himself, avoiding all eye contact before once again isolating himself. At the end of the day he'd made a mistake, he was trying to control his anger and he was one of them, so Will had gotten over his issues. The commander hesitated, unsure whether to go over, but after a few seconds of debating he decided to make sure the diagnostician was ok.
"No charting left to do?" The older man asked conversationally as he sat down on the step lower than Bobby.
Bobby was so deep in his thoughts he hadn't heard the nurse approach, startled he looked up, "Er...no Sir all done"
Internally Will winced at the formality in the younger man's answer. They were no longer on duty as such, it wasn't needed.
"Enjoying the peace huh?"
Bobby nodded, "It's strange to see the base so...quiet."
"I think I'd forgotten what quiet's like" Will smiled.
"Yeah..."Bobby sighed, trying to keep his answers short so he wouldn't screw up the conversation. He didn't need to do anything else to add to his list of recent infractions.
"Listen Bobby...you haven't seemed yourself lately and I just want to tell you something. This anger thing, it's something that needs controlling, but I get it. We all find it tough out here, and sometimes it's going to overwhelm you, makes you act out of character, which is confusing and well...scary...but you can get through it. To do this you need people around you, we are family here, no matter what we are here for each other. You can't do this alone, talk to someone..Whoever that person may be, people need you here not just as a Dr but as a friend"
Bobby grinned wryly as he remembered hearing a certain trauma surgeon getting the same speech not all that long ago.
"Thanks...I Just...I don't know..." Bobby stuttered keeping his eyes cast on the floor and feeling a little emotional at the nurse's words but not wanting to show it.
As if noticing the medic's plight Will said no more, he seemed to have done enough...for now.
"Get some sleep." He slapped his shoulder warmly before standing up and leaving, fully intent on taking his own advice.
"Hey...Er...thanks" Bobby nodded, a small smile on his face.
Will nodded back..."Oh and you might want to talk to Suzy, I think she may be missing you."
Instantly Bobby Trang blushed, he couldn't know could he?
Reviews are appreciated - this is the first thing I have written in an extremely long time!