|Butts with Children
Author: megacoldfusion PM
Beavis and Butt-Head end up on the wrong plane fligh thinking they are going to Cancun Mexico for spring break, end up in Chicago and meet Al Bundy at the mall while looking for something to do.Rated: Fiction T - English - & Al B. - Words: 3,612 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 09-15-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7384393
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclamer: Beavis and Butt-head is owned by Mike Judge, Married with Children is owned by Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt, along with Fox Television.
Chicago, Illinois USA 1130 am morning time.
Chicago is a major metropolitan city in America that resides near one of the great lakes. Chicago has numerous nicknames, which reflect the impressions and opinions about historical and contemporary Chicago. The best known include: "Chi-town," "Windy City," "Second City," and the "City of Big Shoulders. With roughly 2.7 million residents it is the most populous city in the mid-western United States. The Willis Tower or formally known as the Sears tower still stands tall among the other buildings within the city. Chicago has several major sports teams that have won championships in the past. Chicago has much history from the past to present day. How two young teenagers don't care for any of that. They are here for their own reasons. The two abnormal looking teenagers are heading towards the mall.
The blonde haired, blue eyed caucasian boy is wearing a dark blue shirt that has the words written on the front that reads Metallica, he is wearing gray shorts and brown sneakers. He has an underbite and a fixated stare. He is from Highland Texas his name is Beavis and he looked annoyed as he is grunting a bit.
"Meh, he, heh, Butt-head this sucks." Said Beavis "This isn't Cancun."
Walking along side Beavis is a brown haired caucasian boy who is wearing a gray shirt that has words written on the front that reads AC/DC, he is wearing red shorts with black shoes. He Has an underbite and a fixated stare on his face. He is from Higland, Texas. His name is Butt-Head and he glared at Beavis as if he has to urge to slap him several times. But he refrained from doing just that for the moment.
"Uhhhhhhh….Damn it Beavis, uh huh, huh. I told you this is Chicago…several times uh, huh, huh, huh." Said Butt-Head.
"Meh, heh, Oh yeah I forgot, heh, heh, he Hey Butt-head. Meh, do you know why they call this the windy city heh, heh." Asked Beavis.
"Uhhhh…."Butt-Head passed some gas real loud "Uh, huh, because it's the best place someone can fart. Uh, huh, huh, huh huh." Said Butt-head who is laughing at this.
Boy boys continued to laugh for about 10 minues as they kept on walking on the street nearby a mall with sign that reads New Market Mall. Then they spotted for what they are looking for chicks going into a mall. Their eyes grow bigger than dinner plates as if they think they are going to score however their just too stupid to get any. However they don't care as they continue to try and of course fail. A small idea formulates in Butt-head's mind as if he has an idea. Beavis just looked dumbfounded as always but got the same idea but in a more slower way.
"Uhhh…." Said Butt-head "huh, uh, huh Hey Beavis are you thinking what I am thinking. Uh, huh. Huh."
"Meh, heh, heh You mean spanking our monkeys, meh, heh, heh, meh, heh" said "Beavis.
"Uhhh…no dumbass." Said Butt-head "uh, huh, huh, let's go to the mall and score. Uh, huh."
"Meh, heh, heh, were there dude…we are going to do it meh, heh we're going to score." Said Beavis.
"Uhhhh…yeah right, huh, huh uh, huh I'm going to score while you can go spank your monkey. Huh, huh, huh" saud Butt-head who laughed at this.
"Meh, heh, Shut-up But-hole. Heh, heh, meh." Said Beavis.
While the boys walk across the street and go into a parking lot that leads into the mall. They pass by a beat up dodge that belongs to a certain someone that works at a women's shoe store. Meanwhile inside the mall at Gary's shoe store a middle aged cacasian male with short balding brown hair sits alone. He is wearing average clothing for a blue collared slob. His hands rest upon his face as he is sitting on a stool. His name is Al Bundy and he hates his life. At Polk high he scored four touchdowns in one game the only highlight of his career. If he hadn't broken his leg he would of went on to college. However all his dreams were ruined by that damnned red haired woman called Peg. After that he has a couple of kids…he sighed deeply at this. Oh so how he hates his life and whishes sometines he would just die or at least the wife.
No he is stuck forever this way, drowning in sorrow in a women's shoe store day in and day out. His dignaty ruined, his dreams gone and his manhood practically shattered. He so hoped a fat woman doesn't come to the store today, he so hoped a fat woman doesn't come to the store today. Ugh Al is well aware that life isn't fair even to a Bundy like him. Well at least he has his health. He hears construction work in the background at the mall, they are putting up a sign of some sorts. He certainly hoped it was a sign from god to say his life problems are over with. Then he heard the door open to the store as ringing sound is heard as well. Al spoke to soon, here it comes a fat woman will ask him what size shoe she wears.
He looked upwards by arching his head to stare at the person. To his surprise it's a beautiful woman. She is wearing a black dress, she has blonde hair and green eyes with large breasts and nicely shapened legs that she has high heeled shoes on. He smiled and stood up as he straighten himself a bit. He should of remined Peg to do some laundry, but silently chuckled at that considering his useless wife doesn't do any work. No she just shops and spends like always.
"Hi" said Al "Welcome to Gary's shoe store, how can I help you?"
"I would like a new pair of shoes please." She smiled warmly at the man.
While Al Bundy is helping the beautiful customer with shoes. Beavis and Butt-Head have just entered the New Market Mall. They saw it looked like a dump with many stores they have never seen before. Sure they have been in malls before but not like this one. So they continue to walk as the duo passes by a comic book store Beavis wanted to go inside but Butt-Head slapped him upside the head as to pay attention to their main objective as in scoring with chicks.
"Meh, heh, heh Hey Butt-Head I just thought of something. Meh, heh, heh, heh." Said Beavis
"Uhhhh…uh-oh huh, uh, huh, huh, uh" said Butt-Head.
"Meh, heh, no Butt-Head I really thought of something." Said Beavis,
"Uhhh…Uh-oh, huh, uh, uh." Said Butt-Head.
"Heh, meh Damn it Butt-Head…I" said Beavis who is smacked in the face by a glass door to the bank that is in the mall. Butt-Head stood there laughing. The woman with short hair and a business suit stood there shocked at what she had done and noticed the boy laughing at his hurt friend. This is bank employee Marcy Darcy. Beavis laid on the ground for a few moments but kept on laughing himself as well, he has just forgotten what he was about to say.
"Oh I'm sorry." Gasped Marcy "I had a bad morning." She watched as Beavis got up slowly.
"Uhhh…." Said Butt-Head "No problem dude, uh, huh, huh"
"Meh, heh, heh yeah man no problem, heh, heh, heh." Said Beavis.
"Man." She grew annoyed at the comment, she put her hands on her hips and shook her head while talking "Do I look like a man to you boys."
"Uhhh…." Said Butt-Head "No, uh, huh huh You look like a butt-munch. Uh, huh."
"Meh, heh" said Beavis "Hey Butt-Head, heh, heh I've seen this dude on Tv…it's uh…meh, heh Brad Pitt."
"Uhhh…no way Beavis that is not Brad Pitt, uh, huh, huh David Spade, huh, huh, uh." Said Butt-Head
The boys started to laugh as Marcy Darcy grew furious at this and stormed off back into the bank. Slamming the plastic door. Uknown to anyone a crack that is on top of the door is getting bigger and bigger in which it is near the ceiling of the mall. Nearby are two people working on putting the sign up, they didn't want anything to go wrong. However what can happen will happen. So then Beavis and Butt-Head continue to walk in the mall until they finally spot a hot woman leaving a shoe store. Butt-Head walks up to the woman while Beavis wanders in the shoe store to find Al Bundy sitting his spot and pouting again like always. Al heard the door open once again, along with that he heard an annoying grunting sound.
"Heh, meh, heh Hey man how's it going, meh, heh, heh." Said Beavis.
Al looked up at the teenager "My like sucks that how is it going, want to marry a red head." Said Al.
"So uh, meh, heh, heh did you score with that chick, heh, heh you seem pretty cool." Said Beavis.
"Score?" asked Al "I used to score a lot back in my day, in fact for touchdowns in one game."
"Meh, heh, heh Whoa! Really, heh, heh, heh meh, heh…cool." Said Beavis "Butt-Head, get in here, meh, heh, heh This old dude scored with a chick four times in one day." He yelled to Butt-Head who got slapped by the beautiful woman. The teenager got up and ran inside to hear what they are talking about.
"Uhhhh….Whoa! Really….this old dude is cool. Uh, huh, huh." Said Butt-Head.
Al Bundy told the same story to the two oddly teenagers in which he could tell that they are interesting in his scoring. Also Al is getting kind of hungry considering it's past lunch time. He didn't have any money and Peg didn't make him a lunch…ugh he still hated his life.
"Meh, heh, heh Butt-Head, I'm hungry." Said Beavis.
"Uhh…me too, huh, huh, uh hey uh dude they got food in this dump." Asked Butt-Head.
"Yup you got any money, I'm hungy myself." Said Al.
Both boys nodded at this.
"But first." Said Al as he got up, grabbed a newspaper "Time to use the men's room." Al went to the back for a moment to do his business.
About five minutes later a loud flush is echoing in the background of the store. Both boys started to laugh at that as Al Bundy emerged from the men's bathroom and motioned them to follow him to the food court of this mall. He kind of liked them if they are idiots. Once they got to the food court Beavis, Butt-Head and Al Bundy ordered an array of food as the boys paid for it. Beavis started to drink several soft drinks, followed by several candy bars, natchos, dingdongs and other foods along with a large cup of Capachino. A sudden transformation occurred, Beavis's head spins a bit and his body shakes untl he pulls his shirt over his head. That means one thing his alter ego has come out once again.
"I am Cornholio." Proclamed Beavis in his alter ego "I need tee-pee for my Bunghole." He started to drink even more and munch down on food. Then he stands up and wanders off in the mall muttering utter nonsense.
"What's his problem?" asked Al as he scractched his head at this.
"Uhhhh…He's just stupid. Uh, huh, huh." Said Butt-Head as he continued eating with Al.
Meanwhile Kelly Bundy has just arrived in the mall with her date, some guy named Kane she discovered at a bus stop. Kane looked like an avarage biker. But kind of an idiot, to her she found him to be cute. Kelly has long blonde hair medium sized breasts and wearing a blue tank top with a leather jacket and blue tight jeans. Kane has black gresy hair. Kelly decided to come here to ask her dad for some money so she can go out with him and possibility have some fun. Nothing is going to ruin her spring break, however she also found Kane a little boring considering he keeps looking at himself in the mirror as he has in his hand a mirror. In the background she heard shouting of some sort.
Beavis in his alter ego of Cornholio is wandering the man muttering more words, Marcy Darcy walked out of the Bank once again as she heard a lot of shouting going on outside. She opened the door to find out what the fuss about, the door suddenly slammed into her face and knocking her out cold. The crack got bigger and bigger in which is now on the ceiling of the mall and getting close to the hanging point of the sign. Kane and Kelly spot the boy as they are both confused at this.
"Who the heck are you supposed to be?" asked Kelly.
"I am the great Cornholio." Said Beavis "I need teepee for my bunghole, bring me teepee for my bunghole baby." He walked back and forth muttering more words of utter nonsense that left them both confused.
"Hey, your talking to my girl." Spoke Kane.
"Are you threating me?" Asked Cornholio
"Yeah what if i-" He is cut off at mid sentence as Corholio kicked him in the groin and Kane screamed like a little girl in which Kelly shook her head and giggled at this a bit. Then she smiled at Cornholio and turned around to kick Kane in the face knocking him out cold.
"Oh great Cornholio." Said Kelly "I wish to show you my teepee for my bunghole as the Verminator. For I am." She put her jacket over her head. The Great Vermholio is here."
"The Great Cornholio commands you to head into bathroom with me." Said Beavis "To show you my portfolio."
"Let's rock, so says the Vermholio." Said Kelly, who followed Beavis into the bathroom in which they didn't leave for about 30 minutes as moaning noises are coming from the inside of the bathroom.
Peg Bundy has just arrived at the mall, she needed the money to shop and along with that she didn't want to miss her favorate program. She has long bubbly red hair, with medium sized breast and expensive clothing that she always buys along with high heeled shoes. She went into Gary's shoe store but to her surprise he wasn't there. She frowned and wondered what is her useless husband at. Then it hit her, he is using his money for food. So she stormed out of the shoe store and head to the food court. The workers on the other hand who put up the sign have just left to go to lunch as well. Unknown to anyone the sign is about to fall and crash into anyone of anything. Peg stopped for a moment and spotted Al her husband with a brown haired boy that wasn't bud. She has also sees that the both of them are eating food from the food court and a lot of it to. In fact she is hungry as well.
"Al Bundy." Peg roared with anger "How dare you spend your money on food without me."
Butt-head turned to look at the red haired woman "Uhhhh….could you like shut up, uh, huh, uh, uh were eating and stuff. Uh, huh dude is that your mom she's old." Said Butt-Head.
Al laughed, "No" said Al "She's my wife…I'm stuck with her until I die." Then he yelled to his wife "Peg go watch your programs and cook some dinner for me when I get home." He knows how to annoy her with that.
"Al" yelled Peg as she stomped her foot hard on the ground "How dare you, I am not a house wife…in fact." A cracking noise echoed in the background, then the ceiling gave way that held up the sign. Peg Bundy looked up as it would be the last thing she ever sees if she survives.
The debris including the sign came tumbling down upon her. In which everyone in the mall who is present stared in amazement and some people called for 911 for an ambulance. Al Bundy and Butt-Head stare at this for a moment.
"Uhhh…Whoa! That is cool uh, huh, huh wish Beavis saw this. Uh huh, huh huh" laughed Butt-Head.
Al Bundy got up and ran to where Peg is buried under a pile of debris. Meanwhile Kelly and Beavis bot left their own respective ways. Kelly left the mall to go elsewhere, she was satisfied with Cornholio from Lake Titicaca. Al stopped and stared, he saw a complete and utter mess. Debris and blood is on the ground. He is crying. Is he crying as in his wife has died or the fact these are tears of joy, he is finally free. Free from the red haired monster, free from the shakles of marrige. Free at last as he is finally happy with his life.
He muttered under his breath "I'm doomed." Realizing he is alone.
Butt-head found Beavis standing near the bathroom and looked like he had sex or got beaten up again.
"Uhhh…Beavis you missed the cool part, uh, huh, some red head chick got killed huh, huh." Said Butt-Head.
"Meh, heh, well I scored with this chick, heh, heh you missed that part and whoa really cool." Said Beavis.
"You what." Gasped Butt-Head "You scored before me. Huh, huh, huh." He could tell Beavis is telling the truth.
"heh, heh, heh, Let's go do something else this place is boring. Heh, heh meh" said Beavis
"Uhhh…yeah let's go huh, huh, huh." Said Butt-Head. In which both of them left the mall as emergency people go inside to check out the scene of a horrible accident.
Several hours later Bud Bundy is sitting at home waiting for his mom or dad to show up. He is watching Television that has on the Hooters Beauty padgent. He smiled as he drooled a bit until the door slammed in the background and his father appearded. Al hung his coat on the hook and glared at his son. To give him the news. Bud could only guess what it is another fat woman coming to the store today.
"Son…I have bad news." Said Al.
"Let me guess." Said Bud in a sarcastic tone in his voice "A fat woman came in the store today and asked you if those shoes make her fat. Then you said It's not the shoes that make you fat, it's the fat that makes you look fat." He chuckled at that.
Al broke the news to his son in many details in which Bud broke down and cried at this.
Then the door slammed again as Kelly Bundy came in. She has a grinn on her face and noticed Bud is crying, while her father has the same depressed dopey looking face like always. Both of them swapped stories in which those stories are interesting and shocking at the same time.
8 months came and went as Al Bundy and Bud Bundy are in the hospital. During that time Kelly got preganat after having sex with Beavis and moved to Lake Titicaca only to discover he doesn't live there. Now she is back in America and delivering her baby. About an hour later she lays down in bed and the nurse bring in the baby. Al and Bud glance over at the smiling Kelly in which she shows them the baby. It's the spitting image to Peg with long red hair. In which to Al's surprise shocked him to the core and he knew god is a woman but at least he isn't married anymore that was the good part but the bad part when she grows up she will be like his late wife. He only hoped that wasn't the case, but his life can take an unexpected turn so he doesn't know for sure as he kneeled to the ground and yelled out loud.
"Nooooooooooo" said Al,
8 months came and went for Beavis and Butt-Head, they just did the same thing over and over. Watching music videos, skipping school when they can and making a mess of things around the neighborhood. Annoying Stewart, destroying Tom Anderson's equipment and among other things. Now they are sitting in their favorate couch and eating natchos while watching a music video of lady Gaga.
"Meh, heh, heh Butt-Head this song sucks…change it. Heh, heh meh"
Butt-Head does just that by picking up the remote from the couch and pressing the button to change the channel.