Red Vs Glee ODST: Sensitive Materials

Hello everyone and welcome, to the final chapter of Red Vs Glee, ODST! This episode largely centres on Puck, Jack and Finn, but sadly, if you were hoping for more Rachel or Daniel, wrong chapter- He took a laser to the face last time! Anyway, here's the disclaimer:

I own Daniel Lawson, Soulless Warlock owns Jack Harmon, FOX owns Glee, and Rooster Teeth own the PSA.

Warning: The fourth wall is smashed into Oblivion in this chapter- but this time, it benefits you!

00000 (Valhalla, Riverside)

The camera starts up to Jack and Puck standing beside each other on the river, Daniel on the other side with an IV Drip, an oxygen tank, and a wheelchair.

"Hello there!" Jack says to the camera. "We're the main nutjobs in a cast of nutjobs from the fanfic you were just reading, and by whatever religious being you serve do we need your help!"

"Yeah, regulars know that either Soulless Warlock, Gone Rampant or Cola Flavoured Sherbet generally get at least one PSA a month out between them. However, in the making of the script for this month, we gave it to somebody" (At this point he stops to glare at someone off-camera, while Sergeant Sylvester comes up to Daniel), "Who thought it was a secret document, so he burned it and ate the ashes".

The camera cuts across to Finn, tied to a pole, looking guilty. Behind the trio, Sergeant Sylvester starts to beat the crap out of Daniel, but unlucky for him, no one can hear his screams- Probably because Sue shot him in the throat.

"I already told you", Finn says, bringing the focus back to him, "That's what we're trained to do with secret information".

"We who?" Puck exclaims. "Who the hell would train you to do that?"

"Oh I could tell you", Finn says cheerfully, "But then I'd have to burn you and eat you. Besides, I already memorized the script before I burned it".

"Alright then", Puck says to him- Behind him, Daniel is flung into the Blue Base at the approximate speed copies of Modern Warfare 3 were sold at on launch day. "What's it all about?"

"OK, picture this", Finn tells them in a voice sages would have. "We open on a huge samurai battle, but the samurai's are really ninjas, who are all lesbians. Cue big orgy, while the giant talking dog says-!"

"Screw this", Puck butts in. Him and Jack finally turn around to look at Daniel getting slaughtered.

"You know, we might have to bump the rating up if this keeps going on", Puck tells Jack.

"What if we replace Runnerup's face with Justin Bieber's?" Harmon asks, and as if he was a powerful wizard, that suddenly happens.

"Yeah, no one will mind", Puck says casually, before him and Jack turn back to the camera, sealing Daniel's fate.

"Anyway", Puck says to the camera, "We got a helping hand from some secret sources, who are offering sponsorship for a contest for you lucky readers back home, to write a temporary replacement for the destroyed PSA!"

"So", Jack tells the camera, "If you've always wanted to write a PSA with Glee characters, alongside several Original Characters, now's your chance!"

"Just send Gone Rampant or Soulless Warlock the summary of the PSA, either through a review or a Private Message, and then send the whole script down the tube!"

"The winner gets the obvious award of having their story published and acted out by the characters of Glee and several OC's if necessary, written by- Gone Rampant? Who the hell names themselves Gone Rampant, that's like calling yourself a Cola Flavoured Sherbet, or a Soulless Warlock", Jack complains, shaking his head. "If this "Rampant", fellow is writing this, I'm out".

"It's not gonna be that bad- His name could be ZeroBen", Puck reassures Jack, who shrugs at that.

"Anyway" Puck tells the camera, "Just imagine what an incredible opportunity this is- Something you write could be on the Internet! Just how many people can say that?"

An awkward moment passes between the Bieber Beatdown behind Jack and Puck, as well as Rachel behind the camera, and Finn, still standing there innocentely".

"Well, just about anyone who has a profile on a fanfiction website. Maybe we should have lied and said that you'd win money", Jack says.

"Oh yeah. I guess we could have added that", Puck says after a moment's silence.

And so this mini-series is done! And by God do I put emphasis on "Mini", these are very tiny PSA's in comparison to the main ones produced at Rooster Teeth.

On another note, I've just realised I was insulting my internet name. I think that shows my humour- self depreciation in a nutshell- I mean, I was insulting myself, and all the meantime, Daniel was getting beaten within an inch of his life! Ah well, SSDD for him.

But yeah, if you have an idea for a PSA, please let me or Soulless Warlock know, and who knows- Maybe enough people will bother to read this to send in ideas, and this could be classified as a competition! Anyway, if you have an idea for a PSA, send it to me (It doesn't have to be a full script, it can be set during any episode, and you can even just send in an idea, and I can make it a full thing. Literally, the possibilities are pretty far reaching. Not endless, just far reaching).

Anyway, I'm Gone Rampant, signing out.