|It's Not The End Of The World
Author: Phoenix on cloud nine PM
Mike was slightly perturbed to walk into the office one day and find that there had been a zombie apocalypse.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Harvey S. & Mike R. - Words: 3,561 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10-03-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7433646
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Um, so yeah... Excuse the crackiness of this fic please :) I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 and I was just like "ZOMBIEEEES!" :3 Warning for some gore, language and Shaun of the Dead references ;D
Mike was slightly perturbed to walk into the office one day and find that there had been a zombie apocalypse.
It had seemed normal enough as he walked into the office; Gregory was sat in his chair with a glazed, gormless expression on his face, and Kyle was eating... something in a disgusting manner. Mike hoped they hadn't stored whatever it was they were eating in the associates' fridge - it looked revolting.
He took a step forward and froze as they both looked over at him. Gregory's usual expression somehow intensified as he looked over, and Kyle looked up, something staining his mouth dark red. He opened it to show stained teeth, with bits of what looked like meat stuck in them.
"You realise that looks disgusting," Mike grumbled, stepping around them. He paused and looked back. "Is that... is that raw meat?" He asked. Gregory stood up slowly, one leg pulling behind him as he slowly stumbled towards Mike.
"Are you okay?" He asked. He then noticed blood on one side of Gregory's pants leg. "Shit, what happened?" Mike asked, going over and kneeling. "Can you feel it?"
In all honesty, he had been expecting some sort of non-witty comeback.
What he hadn't been expecting, was for Gregory to suddenly leap at him and attempt to bite him.
"What the hell!" Mike tumbled backwards, catching his back on the corner of a desk. He looked over to Kyle for help, before realising that he was soon looking at Mike with the same expression as Gregory - hunger.
"What are you doing?" Mike gasped, pushing Gregory away, avoiding his snapping teeth that were stained red...
"I'm going to die," Mike gulped, trying to kick Gregory off, as Kyle tried to get a peice of the action as well. "Oh God, oh God, oh God - "
His mantra was cut off by the sound of a heavy thud, and he quickly closed his eyes as blood rained down on him, wincing as Gregory fell off to one side, shortly followed by Kyle. Mike was shaking, and he kept his eyes closed, his arms over his face in a defensive pose.
"Are you okay?" He kept his eyes squeezed shut, breathing heavily. "Hey," someone was shaking his shoulder. He slowly peeked up and saw Jessica stood in front of him. Somehow, she was stood very gracefully (and looking really hot, although Mike would never have the guts to say anything out loud) in her heels; her suit jacket and skirt not even looking rumpled as she held a baseball bat covered in blood.
"Miss Pearson!" He gasped, deciding to scramble onto his feet in case she thought he was looking up her skirt.
"Did they bite you?" Jessica asked him urgently, looking wary.
Mike shook his head. "No - he tried though..."
Jessica relaxed slightly. "Harvey will be pleased to hear it."
"Oh my God..." Mike put his hands in his hair and wandered slightly, mindless of the pools of blood and brains he was stepping in. "They tried to kill me... I knew they didn't like me, but - oh my... Oh my God - you killed them!" Mike squeaked, rounding on her and pointing, forgetting she was his boss. "You killed them both!"
"Would you have preferred if I had stuck to my morals regarding not killing employees and let them kill you?" She asked him, looking around warily. "Come with me."
Mike followed her - purely because she had a bat and had just killed two associates with said bat. "Uh, Miss Pearson?" He asked quietly. "What's happening? And how did you know to come find me?"
"I'll tell you everything when we get to safety," she told him, hiding a small smile that always appeared when men had to lengthen their strides to keep up with her. It was much better to see Mike try, as he stumbled over himself like a puppy with large paws. "And I was coming back from the ladies' room, I wasn't intending on finding you."
"You were going to the bathroom with a bat?" Mike squeaked.
"It was in Harvey's office; he told me to take it in case there were anymore of them."
"Any more of what?" Mike asked. "Associates? Oh God, please don't kill me!"
"Michael," she said calmly, turning to face him. "Calm down. I've already had Harvey freaking out, I don't want to calm someone else down as well."
"Harvey was freaking out?" He asked, his fear forgotten as his tone changed to become almost gleeful.
"You weren't answering your phone," she told him. "And the mail boy tried to bite Donna."
"Is she okay?" Mike asked.
"She's fine - she's been taking night classes in some sort of martial arts," Jessica informed him, as they arrived outside Harvey's office.
If Mike's day hadn't already started off weird, he was sure that he would have assumed he was either dreaming or stuck in the twilight zone - which was still possible. But as soon as they walked in, Jessica smiling in a 'look who I found' way, Harvey strode over, placing his hands on Mike's shoulders. "Mike, are you okay?" He asked, the gaze from his eyes so intense that Mike felt like squirming. He could only nod. "You're pale," Harvey noted, looking over at Jessica. "Was he...?" He couldn't finish his sentence.
"Two of the associates were trying, but I got there in time," she said, turning around to barracade the door. "He wasn't bitten."
Mike watched as Harvey closed his eyes in relief before opening them and drawing Mike towards him in a quick, 'I'm glad you're not a zombie' hug. The lovely moment was ruined slightly as Harvey then pulled away. "Why they hell weren't you answering your phone? You know how worried I - Donna was?"
"Sorry, Dad," he sniped, rubbing at his face with shaking hands. "I was a bit preoccupied being attacked by my co-workers! I mean - what the hell?" Harvey observed his hands movements and grabbed one of the bottles of water on his desk.
"Drink this," he ordered, giving it to his associate. Mike managed to unscrew it after three attempts and managed not to spill any on himself the fourth time he sipped. Assuming this was as good as it would get, Harvey nodded and walked back over to his desk, settling himself down in his chair. Mike decided to follow his example and walked over to the couch and sat next to Donna. He was going to ask if she was okay, but knew the she would be. Although she was filing her nails at that moment in time, she still gave him a quick once-over glance and pulled him into a one-armed hug, seeing he was still shaking.
"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Mike asked, managing to keep the shake out of his voice.
"We've managed to get the radio working," Jessica said from where she was adding the finishing touches to their barracade. "The news stations are saying that there is some sort of virus outbreak that's so far been kept contained in parts of New York."
"Let me guess - we're in one of those parts," Mike groaned. "Wait - nothing looked different on my way to work..."
"You're kidding," Harvey said from where he was sat. "You didn't see the warning signs, the flashing lights, hear the sirens? Cycle over any dead people?" He regretted his words as Mike turned pale, causing Donna's arm that was still around him to squeeze as she looked over at Harvey with a frown.
"I get kinda lost in my own world when I'm biking," Mike said in a soft voice. "And I had my head phones in... Are there seriously dead people out there?"
"I think the technical term is 'undead'," Harvey told him.
"My grammy!" Mike sat bolt upright. "What if the nursing home - oh God, oh God; what do I do?"
"Relax, Mike," Donna said soothingly, pulling him back down and having him snuggle into her (which he wouldn't admit to liking). "She's not in one of the contained zones."
"But what if - "
"She'll be fine," Harvey told him. "Worry about us for now. We're trapped here till God knows when."
"The radio broadcast said that the army were slowly making their way through the zones," Jessica said calmly, sitting on a chair and taking her heels off. "They're going through every big building. We'll be out soon."
Mike was calmed by her words and rested his head on Donna's shoulder, who nuzzled at his hair with her cheek. "Have you seen anyone else?" He asked.
"It's Rachel's day off," Donna told him, knowing who he would want to hear about. He closed his eyes and nodded, keeping his head on her shoulder. "And more of the associates who came in got turned by the security man - we locked them all in the filing room."
Mike wasn't even going to ask how they locked so many zombies in the filing room without being bitten.
"So... we're actually in the middle of a zombie apocolypse," Mike said.
Donna shuddered. "Don't call them 'zombies'," she told him.
Mike grinned. "Maybe we should go to The Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over," he looked over at Harvey, his eyes sparkling.
"Weak," Harvey told him, smiling slightly. "Anyone can quote zombie films in a zombie apocalpyse."
"Will you not call them 'zombies'!" Donna insisted.
Harvey and Mike exchanged glances. "So maybe the 'Shaun of the Dead' quote was justified," Harvey said. Mike grinned at him before shooting up from the couch.
"There's someone out there," he whispered, looking out into the corridor. Their power had been shut off, so the passage was darker than their window-filled room. Everyone else went over and looked. Someone was stumbling down the corridor.
"Oh God, it's one of them - I always planned for a zom - " he was given a punch in the ribs. "An... un-dead apocalpyse, but I never really thought it would happen. And I didn't think that I would be hiding in an office made of glass," he said this pointedly to Harvey.
"I'm sorry the architects didn't plan for this," Harvey dead-panned.
"Boys, shush," Jessica whispered. They all continued to watch as the figure sloped down the hallway. He was wearing the typical security uniform and was at that moment holding an arm that he more than likely had ripped off someone. This thought made Mike want to throw up, and he felt himself heave, only to have Harvey drag him away from the barracade and thrust his bin underneath his associate's mouth.
"Stay quiet," Harvey muttered as Mike tried to silently throw up the nothing he'd had for breakfast. He finished after a couple of dry heaves and looked back at the door pathetically.
"Is it still there?" He whispered. Harvey nodded and put the bin in the corner furthest away from them. He then picked up the baseball bat as a precaution. "Does hitting them work?" Mike asked quietly. "Do you not need to... headshot them or something?"
"Does it look like we're in a computer game and I have a cache of weapons lying about?" Harvey sniped.
"That would be good," Mike muttered. "Usually they have random handguns and shotguns in rooms - do you think Louis has something like that?" He asked hopefully.
"He does like to go to a shooting range..." Harvey muttered thoughtfully. "I'll go see."
"What?" Mike grabbed his arm. "Harvey it's still there!"
"I've got my bat," Harvey told him. "I'll be fine."
"I'm coming too," Mike told him firmly, glancing around for something to use. His eyes rested on Harvey's records. "You know in 'Shaun of the Dead'..." he began, "and how they tried to kill them by throwing records at - "
"No," Harvey stopped him right there. "No way. You are not even touching my records. Use my desk lamp."
Mike went over and unplugged it, wrapping the cord around his arm so that he wouldn't fall over it. He carried it over to the door, where Donna and Jessica were dismantling their barracade. "You come straight back here, understand?" Donna said to them both. Harvey grinned at her and patted her shoulder, slowly opening the door and sneaking past the security guard who was now stumbling the other way. Mike slipped out as well, staying closer to Harvey than the older man probably liked, but to hell with what he wanted - Mike was terrified.
"Stay still," Harvey's hushed order instantly froze Mike and he peeked around Harvey to see someone who he sort of recognised as a paralegal. He was eating the same raw meat that Kyle had been eating, and Mike shuddered to think about what it used to be. His breath caught in his throat as an IT tech also shuffled towards them, both looking hungry.
"Which one do you want?" Harvey asked, his voice sounded calm and collected, damn him.
"Uh..." the IT tech was skinny and pale, whereas the paralegal was bulky and looked incredibly threatening as he ripped more meat off. Still - Mike didn't want Harvey to get hurt. "The paralegal."
Harvey snorted and immediately switched so he was in front of the paralegal and Mike was facing the tech. "What do we do?" Mike asked. "Do we just... hit them on the head?"
Harvey shrugged just as the paralegal dived for him. In response, Harvey hit him in the side of the face with his bat, sending him off course. He heard Mike do the same with his lamp to the tech, and turned to see, only to have Mike point and shout, "Harvey!"
He looked back and saw his zombie was still moving, so he sent the bat down on his head with all his might. Brains exploded and the skull cracked, causing various liquids to squirt out. He instantly turned to Mike, whose swing had been surprisingly strong and had gotten the tech on the back of his head, so his wasn't moving either.
"Oh my God, oh God - I'm a murderer, oh God... Shit, shit, shit - I just killed someone, crap... What would Grammy say? Oh God, I'm going to Hell..." Harvey grabbed Mike by the shoulders.
"Calm down, Mike," he instructed. "It was self defence - and he was dead already; alright?"
"How can you be so calm?" Mike asked hysterically. "You just killed a guy! And there's blood all over your suit!"
Ah. Shit. Maybe he should've have mentioned that. Harvey looked ready to kill.
Harvey's lips tightened into a thin line and he walked away, down the corridor towards Louis's office. Mike scuttled after him, sure that he could feel eyes on him from around the dark office.
"Is there anything in there?" Mike whispered. He wasn't sure what he was expecting; why would Louis have a gun in his office anyway? It had been a stupid idea, brought about by too many movie cliches. He was about to say so, when Harvey's arm flew out and hit him in the chest to stop him from going in. He paused and heard heavy breathing from inside.
"Louis?" Harvey whispered harshly. "Are you in here?" A loud clang issued afterwards and Mike jumped back but grabbed hold of Harvey's suit, meaning that he couldn't jump back very far.
"Harvey?" Louis's head popped out from underneath his desk. A sheen of sweat glistened atop his head and he got up, holding a pistol.
"I knew it," Mike breathed, tugging at the back of Harvey's jacket like a small kid, as if he hadn't seen the gun in Louis's hands. The Junior Partner quickly got up and went towards them.
"What's happening?" He pleaded. "I saw three associates eat another one - what the hell is happening?"
"Zombie apocalypse," Mike informed him, refusing to let go of Harvey's jacket, however much the older man looked at him disdainfully.
"Oh..." Louis murmured. "Right..."
"Come back to my office," Harvey told him. "Jessica and Donna are in there, we should be safe in there till help arrives; come on," he held the door open for Louis to leave, but the other man stared at him.
"We should be safe?" He parrotted. "In your office? With glass walls?"
"See?" Mike said, again tugging at at Harvey's jacket. "We should've gone to The Winchester."
"Unfortunately as Louis has pointed out before; I don't have any Queen records, so we can't listen to 'Don't Stop Me Now'," Harvey informed him, with a smirk.
"What the hell are you two talking about?" Louis asked nasally. "Let's just go!"
Harvey rolled his eyes but walked out, twisting Mike's arm so that the younger man let go of his jacket. He slowly made his way past the associates' office, and Mike gave a small whimper as he saw blood all over his cubicle. Harvey saw this and sighed. "Come on, Mike," he said, pulling his associate's arm. "You live through this and I'll buy you your own office."
"Seriously?" Mike asked, his eyes wide.
"If you hurry your ass up," Harvey told him. They snuck in silence for a few seconds before Mike felt something wrong.
There was something on his leg.
Something that felt like teeth.
"Argh!" He jumped, swinging his lamp down on the head of the thing at his feet, which was chewing on his ankle. Blood soaked his trousers and he continuously attacked it with his lamp, feeling the blood rain from it and his wound, as Harvey's hands gripped his shoulders tightly.
He leapt up, breathing hard and feeling his hands fly to his leg. He looked down. No blood.
"What..." He looked around. Harvey's office. No barracade. It was dark. There was no Jessica or Donna. A laptop set up on the coffee table was playing the credits of a film that had obviously been playing. Mike looked over to see Harvey sat next to him on the couch, an eyebrow quirked, questions evident on his face.
"We - I'm not dead?"
"If you are that means I am too, so I hope not," Harvey said, even though he sounded confused. "And I don't really want to spend all of eternity in my office with you, so I'm really hoping this isn't the afterlife."
He leant forwards to take the DVD out of the laptop, and it all came rushing back to him. It was 3 in the morning. They had taken a break from working, Harvey had put a movie on. Shaun of the Dead. He must have fallen asleep...
"Shit," he leant forward, rubbing at his face. "It was so real!" He told Harvey, who didn't have a clue what he was on about. "They were everywhere! And Kyle and Gregory were zombies too! Only Donna doesn't like that word - and Jessica saved my life! After she went to the bathroom. And you hugged me! And we had to barracade ourselves into your office, so they didn't come in, and you had a baseball bat - I had to use your lamp... But we went to find Louis, and he was okay - he had a gun, and we were walking back, but then I got bitten, and there was so much blood, there were pools, it was over my desk..."
"I was wondering what you were shouting about," Harvey muttered, having spent the last five minutes trying to wake Mike from his nightmare.
"But I was dreaming, right?" He asked seriously, as if scared he was still in a zombie-filled world.
"If that's what you want to call it," Harvey grumbled, wincing slightly as he remembered the panicked screams. No more 'horror' films before bedtime for a certain associate. But he could still have a bit more fun with the kid. "You might want to go get cleaned up," Harvey told him, as Mike stood up and stretched.
"What?" Mike asked, confused.
"You've got red on you," Harvey told him, smirking as Mike's eyes widened and he ran out - probably to the bathroom.
He would be whiny and bitchy when he got back, but it would be so worth it.
I know, never end anything with 'and he woke up and it was all a dream' but I thought it went quite well :3 Hope you enjoyed; please, please review - I promise I will get round to 'Crayons' in a bit, but this just wouldn't leave my mind XD Thanks for reading (and reviewing ;))