Author: Anne Rose

Email:

URL: .net/btvs

.net/~annerose

Disclaimer: Joss and Mutant Enemy, etc. own BtVS. No infringement intended. Any resemblance to people living, dead, or undead, or to real life events is all in your mind, is downright scary, and means you seriously need to get a life.

Rating: R

Spoilers: Season 6, Once More With Feeling through Hells Bells

Summary: S/B, We've all seen how Willow uses magic to augment her computer hacking. What if she managed some inter-dimensional hacking? Spike finds her laptop and season 6 will never be the same. A retelling of Season 6. Response to Stephanie Honey's challenge on the Spoiled_Spuffy list. (198k, Completed)

Archive: I would be honored if you want to archive it. Please let me know where so I can visit it.

Author's Note: 1) I keep getting comments about Spike and computers. His computer skills are canon. Spike is shown hacking into UC Sunnydale's computer system to track down Buffy's dorm room in "The Initiative."

2) Thanks to the Buffy Dialog Database (/bdb) and the Buffy Guide (.) for help with research and parts of episodes.

3) Thanks to Clare009, Hubby, and Dakota for beta reading. © April 25, 2002 Also posted at

Disclaimer: Joss and Mutant Enemy, etc. own BtVS. No infringement intended. Any resemblance to people living, dead, or undead, or to real life events is all in your mind, is downright scary, and means you seriously need to get a life.

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[Spoiled_Spuffy] fanfiction group challenge from Stephanie Honey

Hey fic writes! I got a challenge for ya'll! Here it is:

Requirement 1. Humorous Fic!!!

Requirement 2. Buffy and Spike find a fanfic group. And can't believe some of the stuff fans write about them!!!

Requirement 3. PG-13 or higher

Requirement 4. e-mail it to me at

Option 1. Try to mention these members: Honeymajandra (me- Stephanie Honey), Sophie_limbourg (Sophie), Sarafina120 (Melissa), Lochnoir (Jerri)

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Spike and Buffy, Lost in Cyber-Space

By Anne Rose

~*~*~

Part 1

~*~*~

Spike paced around at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for Buffy to come down to patrol. He heard her upstairs, debating with Dawn about her wardrobe for the evening.

He shook his head. 'That was going to take a while.'

Even for a slumber party, her ensemble had to be just so. Looking around, he noticed that Willow had left her computer sitting open on the dining room table again. Spike looked at what she had running. The witch had apparently been using it for her magical hacking, and it was still on.

'It never hurts to say up to date.' He sat down at the keyboard. 'These things just kept getting smaller. Next thing, people'll be wearing those Dick Tracy wristwatches,' he mused. The last time he had been on a computer extensively was when he was trying to find easy meals for Dru. 'Ah, cyber-cafes,' he thought, 'a little latte, a little biscotti, and a little over-sexed porn surfer to wash it down. Dru preferred the girls with the pale skin and black lipstick. 'God, that girl loved irony.' He smiled at the memory.

The password had timed out on Willow's email, no fun to be had there, but the browser was still open to . He absentmindedly reached out and touched the keyboard. A shock zapped through his fingers and up his arm causing him to jerk his hand away. He flexed the fingers and gingerly touched it again -- nothing. 'Hmm, must be leftovers from Red's last spell.' Ignoring it, he typed in Spike and hit enter. He waited a moment, and then he saw 'Results 1-100 of about 927,000 hits. Search took 0.38 seconds.' "Hmmm, gotta love the Internet. You can get a whole lota nothin, so much faster these days."

He cocked his head and listened for a moment to the debate upstairs. He wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Changing his search to 'Spike Vampire' and hit enter again. "*Only* 55,100 hits this time," he muttered as he began scrolling through the seemingly endless list.

Spike paused. Killing time was all good and well, but this was tedious. "A little music would be nice. Let's see what's online." He searched a bit and found a number of his favorites. "Broadband, the only way to pirate mp3s", he chuckled as the files appeared on the hard drive. He picked up the earphones from beside the computer and put them on. He configured the player to loop the songs continuously and then set about exploring the rest of the computer.

Going back to the list, he continued scrolling, until something caught his eye. 'What's this?'

Almost all the hits were about Buffy. The whole Internet seemed to be in on the fact that she was the Slayer - 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' over and over. He'd better alert her to this. It wasn't going to make her happy. But in the mean time, he wanted to find out what they knew about him.

He eventually found a site discussing William the Bloody. He opened the page and was shocked to find an illustrated history of himself. He shuddered to see what was probably his worst poem quoted. And how did they have pictures of him, Dru, Angel, and Darla, "back in the day", in color? He bookmarked the site for further study later.

Spike scrolled on through the list of sites and visited several more. While he was looking, Buffy walked downstairs with Dawn and said good-bye to her at the door. Then she walked into the dining room and noticed him at the computer, bobbing his head up and down to whatever was playing over the headphones.

"Spike, isn't that Willow's computer?"

"Yup, nice one, too," he said, as he continued surfing.

Buffy raised an eyebrow "Does she know you're using it?"

He paused, looked up, and grinned at her. "Nope -- remind me to apologize later." 'Right after hell freezes over,' he continued, to himself. He pulled off the headphones and pointed at the screen, "Here, come have a look at this, but you'd better sit down first."

She sighed, but still walked over and sat down in the chair next to him. "I thought we were going to patrol?" she said, leaning over to look at the screen. "What is this?"

He clicked on a link and another page opened. There were pictures of her, the Scoobies, Spike, Giles, Dawn, everyone. They sat there; mesmerized for several minutes, as they read brief life histories of several of their friends. "How do they know all this? Who are these people?"

"I don't have any idea, but it sure seems like this might be a little more important than patrolling tonight," he replied. "There are hundreds of these pages." He clicked on another link for a site discussing William the Bloody, with some cryptic initials A/S/X in the site description. The page popped open displaying a huge picture of him, Angel, and Xander. Their grinning faces had been pasted onto a set of bodies that were doing things that managed to offend even him. "Bloody hell!" he swore, closing the page.

Buffy's jaw dropped and she just sat there for a moment, then she started laughing hysterically. "We have *got* to bookmark that page," she managed to say between giggles. "I *so* need that picture to blackmail you and Xander."

"Over my dead body! And that was clearly a fake picture!" He looked at her as she laughed, and his face began to soften. It had been so long since she had laughed like that, not since before she died. Since she had been back, there were times when he wondered if he would ever hear it again. The gentle expression turned to one of mischief. With an evil twinkle in his eye he said, "Here now, you know it's fake. Have you ever seen the Poof smile like that?"

She continued chuckling harder, as she nodded. "Good point, I don't think Angel's smiled like that in his whole life." She wiped her eyes and took a couple deep breaths to calm herself. "Ok, what other surprises have you found?" He began clicking again, and she asked, "By the way, how did you find all of this?"

He shrugged. "I just thought I'd search on Spike. I put in Spike Vampire, and all this came up."

"Why are there all these links to me when we searched on your name?" she asked, as she scanned the screen.

"Wondered that myself. Bloody unfair if you ask me."

"I'm not. Go back and search on Buffy and vampire."

He put the search string in, and hit enter. Immediately there was a list of sites with titles like 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', 'Buffy and Angel Forever', 'Spike and Buffy', and a couple even mentioned Riley and Buffy. She just stared at the computer, too stunned to say anything. Spike, on the other hand, had already had a chance to get over his initial shock and was surfing through the pages to see if there was some sort of pattern or indication of who was behind it.

"Slayer, I think I'm on to something." He pointed to the screen. "See here? They refer to lists of members. Here it is again on this page. This one is called Spike_Buffy_6."

"Six? Six whats?" she asked.

"I don't know. Every time I click on a link that's supposed to take me to it I get an error message," he growled. "Oh, this one is priceless!" He had clicked on .com/group/Spike_Buffy_6/ only to arrive at a page saying, 'Oops... There is no group called Spike_Buffy_6.'

"Do you think it's some kind of security measure? Maybe we need a password to get in there?"

"I don't know," he grumbled, "but now I'm annoyed." He did some further searches and finally he slammed his hand down on the table, causing her to jump. "Aha! Found it." He ginned smugly as he typed in, .com/group/Spoiled_Spuffy and hit enter.

"What the hell is a Spuffy? And why is it spoiled? Sounds like a bad thing," she grimaced.

A red page popped up, and they scanned the text. "It looks like more code. I can't understand what it's talking about. Can you get to the messages?"

Just then, a picture finished loading. They both gaped at the computer as a picture of the two of them stared back. They were holding each other; her head was pressed against his chest. She looked blissfully happy, and his expression while not quite a smile looked very content, with an undercurrent of possessiveness. It was as if he was challenging anyone who dared to take this woman from him.

Once she caught her breath, Buffy shook her head and repeated the question. "Can you see the messages?"

His head jerked up straight again, "Uh, right. Let me look." After a minute he said, "It looks like I need an account to get in, let me see if I can set one up."

Spike typed away creating a fake profile for himself at Yahoo. "Wonder if these wankers know what a Yahoo actually is?" Spike snickered. He hit enter, and the screen came up red. "What do you mean those fields are required? Bloody Nazis! What do they want to know that for?"

"They probably want to sell you blood, mail order. Too bad Fed Ex doesn't deliver to crypts."

"Very funny," he said as he entered more fake information.

She looked confused. "Why are you going to all that trouble? Why don't you just use the free AOL account?"

Spike instantly stopped typing. His mouth fell open as he stared incredulously at her.

"What?" she asked defensively.

"Look, I may be evil, but even I draw the line at using AO-Hell. You want to consort with dark forces? You go use it," and he went back to typing, shaking his head.

She drummed her fingers as he navigated the complexities of creating a fake identity and joining the list. "So, what is a Yahoo?"

"Hmm? Oh, that. It's from Gulliver's Travels," he replied. "They were primitive humans who lived on an island with intelligent horses."

"Hunh?"

"It's a metaphor... an analogy," still no response from her. "The humans were animals and the animals were human." He looked up at her. "What are they teaching you in school these days? No wonder this country's in the shape it is."

She smacked his arm. "Oh, and I suppose having blood-sucking demons all over has nothing to do with it?"

He chuckled. "Here, Pet, look at this. We're in." He pointed to the list and smiled, quite pleased with himself.

"Where do you think we should start looking?"

"I don't know, at the beginning maybe?" There were a lot of messages. "Didn't your mum have a computer? Willow has ICS setup, we could connect it up. It'll go faster with both of us searching."

"Ok, I'll see if I can find it." She got up and went to look.

~*~*~

TBC...