|Buffy vs The Intersect
Author: Lets Random PM
Years after Sunnydale, Buffy walks into the Burbank Buy-More looking to fix her phone...Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,523 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 10-31-11 - Published: 10-12-11 - id: 7460109
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: Thank you to Anyankaholic, scruffylad, Cubsking, Grey Alchemist, dreameralways, BaDWolF89 for the reviews! I'm used to tthfanfic, so normally I reply directly to the reviews. Anyone else tingly about the new season of Chuck?
Chuck's night blurred with the occasional pause until Sarah and he collapsed, tired. It was like the train ride all over again, but it seemed Sarah was intent on reliving those few days in a span of a few hours. Not that he was complaining. He did quickly realize his stamina was a bit lacking and Chuck knew he was going to feel sore tomorrow. To top it all off, he may have strained a muscle. Although not extremely debilitating, it would be annoying. Not that he was complaining. Years of pent-up sexual frustration made it impossible for him to complain. Nothing could ruin his time with the beautiful blonde laying in bed beside him. Chuck reached a hand out to stroke her face.
Suddenly, Sarah sat up, "You hear that?"
Frozen mid-motion, Chuck asked, "What?"
"I thought I heard something outside." Sarah whispered. She reached over to the nightstand for her gun.
Chuck focused his senses to outside the room. Ignoring the warmth he felt radiating from Sarah. He thought he heard some rustling outside the window.
Hoping to god he was wrong, Chuck suggested, "Maybe Morgan is coming home?"
"We finally put a lock on this window, I don't think he uses it anymore," Sarah reasoned.
"Because Casey didn't use it earlier to get into the place?" Chuck pointed out, "We always forget to lock it."
Sarah quietly shook her head, eyes still on the window, "Morgan would just go through the front door. After the last time he interrupted, I made sure it wouldn't happen again."
Chuck raised an eyebrow, "Honey, what did you do?"
Sarah determinedly stared out the window, "I talked to him."
"Is that all?" Chuck asked.
Sarah's smile showed a bit too much teeth, "I may have stressed the importance of our privacy."
Chuck sighed, "Is that why he was all freaked out a few weeks back?"
"He also cooked for us every night for a week." Sarah added.
About to comment, Chuck's head whipped around to the window. The noise outside was getting louder. Hand signalling Chuck to get his tranq-gun and to stay put, Sarah took a sideways approach to the window. Sarah pointedly motioned towards the bedroom door when Chuck began to follow Sarah. Understanding the need to cover both potential entrances, Chuck followed Sarah's lead. After a tense several minutes, Sarah visibly relaxed before calling out to Chuck.
"It was a raccoon."
Chuck felt the tension leaving his body, motioning to the hallway, "I'm going to get some water, want any?"
"Sure, hurry back though, we're not done yet," Sarah replied, smirking, "We've got the whole night ahead of us."
Both excited and scared witless, Chuck ran to the kitchen for some water.
Damned raccoon. Damn that raccoon to any number of hell dimensions. Stupid raccoon. Buffy had spent the last hour or so listening, with enhanced hearing, to the pleasurings of Sarah Walker and Chuck Bartowksi. Their lust may have actually dwarfed Dawn and Xander's appetite for sex. It was like they hadn't had sex for years and were making up for lost time. The experience had both been horrifying and telling. Sarah and Chuck were actually together as a couple, giving credence to the story Chuck told at the Buy-More. Deciding to slip away soon, Buffy had prepared to leave when the raccoon had blundered into her reconnaissance mission.
Watching in horror, Buffy had watched it rummage around the courtyard before approaching the bedroom window. Thankfully, the approach to the window had both been a blessing and a curse. Panicked, Buffy had tried to remain perfectly still, hoping her hiding place would be sufficient. For a few minutes, every muscle Buffy had had been rigidly stiff. Getting impatient, Buffy was glad that Sarah's focus had been on the raccoon. Visibly relaxing, Sarah had retreated back into the bedroom. Not before Buffy had noticed the gun. Huh. More points under the 'likely a spy' column. Giving Sarah and Chuck a few minutes until they went all energizer bunny again, Buffy left. She decided checking out the Buy-More would be more advantageous.
She wasn't escaping the blatant reminder of her own lacking sex life. Stupid raccoon.
A brief pause.
"Hit, oh god it was a hit."
Another brief pause.
A slightly longer pause.
"OH! Hit! Hit!" Yet another pause, "No you don't stop!"
"But I'm supposed to move somewhere else..."
An audible smack rang through Casey's headphones.
"Don't you dare stop Xander. You win. Now keep going."
It took Casey a moment to put it all together, "Euck"
In retrospect, spending the last hour listening to Dawn Summer and Alexander Harris play battleship had been a waste of time. The only thing Casey learned was that the couple had somehow turned it into a sex game. It was Bartowski and Walker all over again. Actually it was worse, he couldn't get away from it. Agents were fornicating everywhere it seemed.
"Yes ma'am!" knocked Casey out of his thought train.
"Don't you dare call me ma'am. I'm younger than you."
"Ma'am yes ma'am."
This smack sounded louder than the previous one.
"Ow! You really know how to kill the mood," Xander complained.
"The way you were going at it, I'd think you wanted pain," Dawn commented. Casey nodded in agreement.
"Hey! I'm not some blonde bloodsucker!" Xander exclaimed indignantly.
A third smack rang through Casey's headphones. Casey shook his head. Great, another moron.
"What have we said Spike?" Dawn asked.
Casey could almost imagine Xander raising his hands in a placating fashion, "I know you like him and he's better than Dead-Boy."
Casey made note of to look into Spike and Dead-Boy before a fourth smack seemed to knock any of the humour out of Xander.
"Alright, alright. No more making fun of the dynamic duo. It's just so hard."
"I know," Dawn replied sweetly.
Sensing the trap, Casey pitied Xander when he exclaimed, "What? And you still hit me? You're evil!"
"I'm what now?" Casey's imagination was going into overdrive, seeing Dawn's raised eyebrow.
"You heard me. Eeeeeevil."
A brief pause. Casey would later attribute it to the raising of a hand.
"Eep! Not evil, just beautiful, intelligent, and absolutely amazing."
Not the suavest save, but Casey admitted it may placate her enough.
"Really? And what if I said I liked to be evil?"
"Huh? Evil how?"
Casey heard a pause, "I'm the evil headmistress, out to punish the naughty student."
A quick hurried response, "I can work with that."
"Good because I'm going to-"
"Or..." Casey raised an eyebrow when Xander cut her off, "I could do this!"
Casey's ears were soon full of screeching, laughter, and giggling. Eventually the sounds devolved into much more primal noises. Grunts. Gasps. Sounds that more than annoyed Casey at the moment. With a grunt, Casey set the equipment to continue recording in the hotel room. Casey decided the best use of his time would be a brief check on Castle and sleep in order to prepare for tomorrow's mission. Gathering himself as he left, Casey recalled the good old days when rules against fraternization were actually followed.
Approaching the Burbank Buy-More, Buffy took her time, insistent on a stealthy approach. Buffy wandered the outer perimeter taking in video cameras and their fields of vision. Although she wasn't the greatest recon expert when it came to human tech, Buffy was reasonably sure there weren't more cameras than would be expected at a normal store. There were a few around the perimeter, but the focus was on the front entrance, parking lot, and rear delivery entrance. For a secret CIA/NSA base, the grounds seemed far too vulnerable. Or perhaps that's what they wanted Buffy to think. Unable to find a secret entrance on the grounds surrounding the Buy-More, Buffy decided to try her luck on the roof. Buffy failed to notice a man enter the frozen yogurt shop after parking his car across the parking lot; she was too busy checking the wall for cameras and booby traps. Constant vigilance.
Settling down in Castle, Casey checked the surveillance monitors before disassembling and cleaning some weaponry. He decided to focus on Vera, his favourite gun. He felt an affinity for her, like from another life. There was some something soothing about cleaning a weapon, something very few people understood. Casey understood all too well, a distraction technique. The idea of modern day espionage agents going at each others tongues almost brought bile forth in his gullet. Thankfully, the stroking of Vera was able to forestall any retching. Ultimately, Casey could not and would not fault either Chuck and Sarah for their actions. He understood and respected the conflict between love and duty; having made the decision long ago, Casey did not begrudge them the situation. He would fault them however for subjugating him to scenes of Bartowksi doing anything remotely sensual. Imaginary or real. Euck.
Continuing to disassemble Vera in the armoury, Casey focused on her chamber. He considered his recent familial revelation with a mental sigh. Fortunately, Casey had dedicated his life to duty long ago and saw no reason to falter now. Forwarding his saved wages if something were to happen to him would not conflict with his duty. And it would protect what was left of his family. Casey snapped to attention when the perimeter alarm began to blare.
"What the hell?"
On the roof, Buffy had unsuccessfully found anything remotely questionable about the building. Air vents here, air vents there, smoke pipe thing here, smoke pipe thing there, and no obvious spy cameras. Nope, just a regular CCTV camera on its perch. About to give up, Buffy approached the final air vent on the roof before the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. That was never a good sign. Buffy carefully examined the vent, noting the weird frequency of vibrations she felt in the air. It wasn't the same normal air vent-y vibrations. More whiney and small. After a careful examination of the opening, Buffy decided to be impulsive. A contradiction, Buffy knew. Ripping the cover off the air vent, she peered at a network of criss-crossing lasers. Buffy gave the lasers a moment's concentration before something moved behind her.
Suddenly alert, Buffy looked over her shoulder and the CCTV camera rotating from its original view.
With a quiet, "Oh shit," Buffy ran.
Staring at the screen, Casey took in the exposed air vent into Castle with its cover removed. Moving to review recent surveillance of the Buy-More, Casey couldn't help but be slightly impressed. Whoever had almost infiltrated Castle hadn't been caught on a single camera. Casey snorted. Then again that's what happens when the needs of a believable cover conflicted with practicalities of defence. Truth be told, Casey didn't understand why they still used the Buy-More as a cover. Fulcrum, The Ring, and who knows what other agencies had drawn connections to the Burbank Buy-More and the CIA/NSA base. Sometimes, it felt like life was being written for some terrible spy action/meets comedy TV series. If that were true, Casey hoped he was a main character in the series. In that case, no matter what crazy thing happened to him or his team, no one would die. Shaking his head at his own Bartowski-like idea, Casey refocused on the computer screen in front of him. Constant vigilance.
AN: Again, if you like what you read let me know! Also, and con crit would be appreciated.