|The Severe Beating of a Gundam Wimp (Quatre)
Author: Monogatari no Shiori PM
Quatre gets the beatdown he deserves. Even if you like Quatre, this is still funny!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,175 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 05-17-02 - Published: 04-29-02 - id: 748950
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
My big brother, Peregrine, wrote this. He's a Quatre hater, and for some reason thinks the Tallgeese is the coolest Mobile Suite/Gundam (he's wrong, of course. Epyon is the coolest.) Peregrine said he would probably rewrite this to include other characters from Gundam Wing. If you have something against Quatre beat downs, like I do, just remember to keep an open mind. This is actually really funny. On with the fic!
In the unseen episode 50 of Gundam Wing, Wufei kills Quatre in a bloody orgy of violence!
Quatre - Hey Wufei! Let's go have a picnic! The sun is shining, the birds are singing...
(Sound of a shotgun...)
Wufei - Not anymore.
Quatre - Why can't you be at peace!?! Can't we all just get along?
Wufei - You are weak. Thus, you must die.
Quatre - WHAT!?!?!
Wufei - The weak do not deserve to live. Besides, Sandrock sucks.
Quatre - I will not fight you! Even if you insult my beloved Sandrock! (whisper - don't worry Sandrock! I still love you!)
Wufei - Suit yourself. Hai!!!!
(Sounds of a beatdown)
Quatre - AHHH!!! You just broke my arm!
Wufei - Pansy-wuss. Take the pain!!!
Quatre - MY SPLEEN!!!!!!!!
Wufei - Do you need your mommy? Oh wait, she's dead! HAHAHAHA!
Quatre - Please...don't hurt me...
(Heero, Duo, and Trowa walk by)
Heero - What's going on?
Duo - Looks like Quatre's trying to reattach his arm...
Trowa - Hmmm.
Heero - Hey Wufei, need any help?
Wufei - Well, he does tend to crawl away after awhile. Could you hold him down for me?
All - Sure!
Quatre - NO!!!! Please, help me!
Heero - "I'll kill you."
(All except Quatre burst out laughing.)
(Relena walks by)
Quatre - Relena, you'll help me, won't you???
Relena - Sorry, but my country is neutral. I can only lodge a formal statement of protest. Hope you have a common blood type...(walks away)
Quatre - ARGHHHH!!!!(He gurgles, then falls silent)
Duo - I didn't know anyone could bleed that much blood!
Trowa - Hey, everyone! Let's use Sandrock as target practice! I just added another 5 guns and 20 rockets (see Endless Waltz version Heavyarms) to Heavyarms, and I can't wait to try them out.
All - Sure!
Duo - After that, we can chase down those Casablanca wannabes, you know, the Maganacs.
Heero - Yeah, they always seemed like a bunch of freaks. I mean, they pilot around glorified Leos, for Cripes sake!
Wufei - Yeah, I always hated those weaklings.
To be continued...
Funny, ne? (MY SPLEEN! Hehehe!) Story donated by Peregrine. I'll have to bug him to write some more (hehehe, I'm going to enjoy bugging him!) Ja ne, minna!