|Kiku Discovers FanFiction
Author: Crazee Canadia PM
And he's not exactly pleased with what he sees. Probably the dumbest thing I've written yet, and it's a little venting story about the content on here. Not saying that I'm the best writer, but still. Just read if you're interested.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - America & Japan - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,558 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12-09-11 - Published: 11-12-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7546647
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
**WARNING: Do NOT take this seriously. Well, maybe you should. Nah.**
"Don't wander too far off into the internet, Kiku, you never know what you might find out there!" Alfred had laughed as he warned his friend before leaving the room on a Monday afternoon.
Kiku tried to heed Alfred's warning, but somehow ended up on YouTube five minutes later watching a video that made him want to gouge his eyes out.
It went like this:
It starts out like another world meeting, everybody sitting at tables and talking about random things with the last few minutes before the meeting starts.
Then, Austria notices that the meeting hasn't started, and Germany is ten minutes late.
Everyone goes into a frenzy, trying to figure out why Germany was late – which, as we all know, should mean the end of the world – before the doors to the room bust open.
Standing in the door way with his head facing downward, was Germany.
Nations noticed the gauche outfit he had on – tight pants and a ripped up shirt – before he looked up and screamed "IJUSTHADSEEEEEEEEXANDITFELTSOGOOD!"
America then jumped up, "IJUSTHADSEEEEEEEEEEXWITHCANADAINTHEBATHROOMFIVEMINUTESAGO!"
France stood up on the table, "IHADSEXWITHENGLANDLASTNIGHTFIVETHOUSANDTIIIIIIIIIIIIMES!"
Red-faced, England began throwing pencils at France, "Shut up, bloody git! I didn't even like it!"
"DOESN'TMATTER,IHADSEX!" Germany strutted into the room towards the table, "ANDITWASWITHHIIIIIIIIIIIIM!" he pointed at Italy.
"Wait… how did you have sex when Italy was in here?" Austria asked.
Germany gave a really creepy Cheshire cat smile before he shouted, "BECAUSEIJUSTHADSEEEEEEEEEEEXBYLOOKINGATHIMANDGOINGBACKINTIMELASTNIGHTWHEREIPULLEDHIMTOTHESIDEAND –"
"SCREWTHISDUDE,PARTY!" America shouted before the entire room went dark and strobe lights started flashing and crap like that, Austria fainting due to the sudden brain explosion he just had.
"So," Prussia sat in a corner with Sealand, Wy, Seborga, and Latvia, "I'm going to tell you the awesome story about my five meters."
Sealand clapped his hands, "I finally get to learn Prussia's secret to everlasting fruity freshness!"
Prussia nodded, "So, I was out driving one day and I stopped to see if this weasel had been killed in the middle of the road, then it looked at me and asked me if I had a banana in my ear. When I said no, he ran off. Then Spain came running over to me and said, 'DID YOU SPEAK TO THE WEASEL!' and I was like 'Yeah, why?' and then he slapped me and repeated himself, 'DID YOU SPEAK TO THE WEASEL!' and I was like 'Yeah bitch I did, why?' and then he was all like 'Fool, I am the weasel.' And France came out of nowhere and was all like 'OHHHH NOEZ RUN AWAY!' but Spain already kidnapped me in my car, drove five inches before we got into a major car wreck with Solid Snake – who had been driving a Cupcake car – and caused me to lose by my leg.
"Well, they look me to the hospital, decided that my penis could be stretched out to be my new leg. So they knocked me out with beer and beer and more beer before they pulled my penis through a taffy puller, and then adjusted it to where I could walk on it with giving me a fake foot to put at the end. That's why I don't pee in public restrooms."
Japan and China were in the middle of the room, spinning around on floor buffers while shouting at each other in pig Latin.
America and Canada were making out in the back corner of the room, while England was running around the room with France chasing after him – of course, France's pants were around his ankles and he was too blonde to pull them up.
Russia had Ukraine open a window before he punted Belarus outside, taking a swig of vodka while Ukraine danced in joy before running to hug Estonia – but ended up suffocating him instead with her – ahem – bust.
Germany was kicking a karaoke machine, "Why won't it make my voice sound like Lady Gaga?" he whined.
"Because karaoke is Japanese for 'crappy singer!'" Romano yelled in response, Spain dragging him along the ground to go somewhere over the rainbow.
"…and then we rode Sealand's big fat yellow road roller and I was happy!" Latvia finished a story, not seeing that everyone else had fallen asleep.
"I baked you a pie!" America held a pie out to England.
England clapped in excitement, "Oh boy, what flavor!"
"Pie flavor." America growled before a mini pie popped out of the bigger pie.
Seeing that Germany and Italy making out in a corner, Prussia's leg began lifting up, "Keep going boys! My five meters is excited!"
By this point, Kiku's mouth was hanging open in shock at this video. He paused it, shaking his head and blinking a few times before whispering to himself, "What, the hell, did I just watch?"
"Hey Kiku." Alfred entered the room once again, "Ludwig wanted you to know there's a flag football game tonight, he needs you on his team – hey, what's that?" he looked over Kiku's shoulder, eyeing the computer screen.
Kiku made the video start over, clicking play as he said, "Just. Watch."
*I GOT IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM, thank freaking goodness…
So, I've been trying to type a Hetalia story lately, but every time I do someone is out of character. To help me, I wrote this as a second chapter, and maybe to get this OOCness away from my fingers.
Review if you want to, first day this was uploaded it got over 4,560 reads. Just kidding. It got a lot of attention fast.
Should I make another chapter where Kiku finds DeviantArt?
Call me sick, call me weird, and just don't call me sane. Because I'm Crazee Canadia. And I need to go to bed.