|I am Afraid
Author: lonnii renae PM
Can dreaming become reality? Or is the reality that your dreaming? Between her abusive husband Keith, her first love Paul, her overpowering father and the death of a child, Steph learns the difference between dreaming and reality.Rated: Fiction M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Stephanie McMahon & Triple H - Chapters: 22 - Words: 39,345 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12-25-12 - Published: 11-26-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7585334
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I Am Afraid
A/N. The only thing I own is the idea. This is my first fan fic on this website soooo please please please review! Hope ya'll love it!
Part 1: Check My Actions
Strangled cries can be heard through the house. Even though Keith is standing in the kitchen down stairs, Stephanie McMahon can clearly be heard from the upstairs master's bathroom. Keith forces a breath of air out of his mouth. 'Why won't she shut the hell up?' Keith sits his coffee down and heads up stairs.
Stephanie is curled up laying on the shower floor. When she originally got in the shower, the water steamed the shower doors and the mirrors but now the water is cold and mirror and shower door is now defogged. Steph picks her head up as she hears shuffling in the next room. She quickly stands to her feet and turns the shower off. Opening the door, she steps out the shower and grabs a towel to wrap around her body.
"Stephanie? What is up with all the crying? I'm down stairs trying to drink my coffee in peace and I can't because you are up screaming like someone is killing you. What the hell?" Keith says as he enters the bathroom. Steph's eyes drop to the floor. 'I didn't think he could hear me. I thought the shower would drown me out.' Keith taps his foot waiting for an answer. He eventually gets impatience and decides to speak again. "Hello? Do you not hear me talking to you? God Stephanie! I mean ever since the accident, you've been bugging out. Shut the hell up already. He died two years ago. It was your fault. Get over it!" Steph nods her head. "I'm sorry, Keith. I wasn't…umm…aware that you could hear me. I'm sorry. Please forgive me for my lapse in judgment." Keith's face softens. "That's my girl. Now, could you hurry up? I have to meet with your dad soon and you haven't cooked breakfast. I had to make the coffee." Keith said with the anger reigniting in his eyes. Steph notices it right away. Turning to the counter to grab an old shirt, she answers back. "Of course honey. I'll throw on some clothes and fix your breakfast then I'll come back up and get dressed for the day." Keith exhales heavily. "No. You need to be fully dressed. I didn't marry a slob. I married a hot heiress. You need to get fully dressed. Make up, hair everything. And once again hurry up. Unlike you, I can't sleep around the house all day." Keith added as he walked out the bathroom.
Steph considered rolling her eyes but decided against it. She didn't have the time to do it. As she started to apply her make-up, her mind wanders. 'What would it hurt if I just put on some pajamas and cooked breakfast? Now I have to rush and do my hair, my make-up, put on my clothes, my shoes. Ugh! Where's my eyeliner?' As Steph raised her head to walk out the bathroom, she was face to face with her husband. "Uh, Keith. Can I do something for you?" Steph said backing away from him. Every step she took, he would take one also. She backed away until her back was against the sink. Her eyes pooled with tears as she looked into her husband's eyes. Rage. That was all she could see. 'I have to calm him down. Oh my God. This is going to be bad. Please God protect me.' Steph opened her mouth to clear the air but was met with a back handed slap to her mouth. Instantly, she could taste the metallic flavoring of her blood. "When I tell you to do something, you don't question me. You do it! I'm your husband, Stephanie. If you have forgotten, you belong to me. You gave your rights up the day you said you promised to submit to your husband. Love and OBEY! You remember that?" Keith screams. There is a moment of silence between husband and wife. "I really thought we had all the rules down but apparently you don't understand or you choose to make me angry. Are you deliberately making me angry? Is that what you want? For me to hit you? For me to bruise your body? TALK TO ME! WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Steph puts her hands to her side as she stares at the yellow and green tiled floor. Before she could gather thoughts to even attempt to form words, Keith's hand struck her face knocking her into the sink. "Clearly, you have forgotten so maybe we have to go back to the basics." Keith said grabbing Steph by her neck dragging her into the bedroom.
Steph opened her eyes as she gasped for air. After taking a few moments of attempting to catch her breath, she looked around the room confused. 'What happened in here?' There are clothes all over the place and the comforter on the bed is tossed about. The mirror that was once on the wall now lies on the floor broken. Little things off the dresser and nightstands are scattered about as well. 'What the hell am I doing on the floor?' As she stood to her feet, her legs wobbled and her body ached all over. She walks into the bathroom and screams. Her curious and horrified eyes stare into the mirror. A cry gurgles from the pit of her stomach, up her chest, traveling to her throat. Quickly, she covers her mouth, to muffle the sound. Everything started to flash in her mind like little still pictures that told the story of how she went from a gorgeous independent heiress to a beaten and battered wife. Steph palms the bruises on her side that lead to her back. Bruises that then travelled up her back to her neck. Bruises on her neck that then travelled down her midsection to her upper thighs. Just as she was examining the busted lip and swollen cheek, her cell phone brings her back to reality. She tries her best to jog over to the cell phone. The jog is more like a somewhat fast paced walk. Looking at the screen, she clears her throat and tries her best to seem fine.
"Stephanie. I'm glad to see you finally are awake. I just wanted you to know I had to make my own breakfast…no thanks to you.
"I'm sorry, Keith. I don't even remember falling asleep. I guess I was super tired. But I promise I'll be better next time."
"That's the Stephanie I've come to love. Your dad sends his love by the way. There are a few things I want you to do. First, clean that room. I know you've seen it. The kitchen also awaits your attention. But before you do any of that, I need you to back my luggage. Your dad wants me to go to London to finish up some contracts for the world tour. I'll be gone at least three weeks baby. I'm sorry."
'He's saying that like I'm going to be sad or something.' Steph rolled her eyes. "Aww, baby! Three weeks? I'm sad. We were starting to get back on track and now you have to leave again."
"It's okay Stephanie. I'm happy you dad trust me enough to go handle this by myself. So, yea. Get my bag ready first, sit it at the front door and then get started on the house."
"Of course. I 'm starting on it now. When will you be home to pick it up?"
"In about 20 minutes or so. My plane boards in an hour so you have to hurry."
"Okay. It will be ready when you come home."
"Okay. Bye Stephanie."
Stephanie stood to her feet and started searching for suits and different outfits and toiletries to pack for her husband. She finished quickly and headed down stairs to wait for Keith to pick up the luggage. In the meantime, she started working on the kitchen which looked like a group of five year olds were cooking breakfast rather than a 23 year old.
Keith popped in, grabbed the bag and kissed Steph goodbye. On the way out he turns around to get another look at her. "Stephanie, I'm going to call you frequently so make sure you have your phone. I don't need to go over the consequences of you not answering and not checking in with me, do I?" Steph shook her head no. "No overnight guest in house while I'm gone also. If you want, you can have a few of your friends over. No more than three and no guys. Understood?" "Yes, Keith." And with that, he was out the door. A few moments later, her cell phone begins to ring. 'Really? He's been gone like five minutes and I have to check in? This is going to be a long three weeks.' Her eyes lit up as she read the name across the screen.
"Paul! I've missed you! How is my on screen hubby?"
"Well, honestly Steph I have been better."
"What's wrong? Joanie still complaining?"
"That's always. I've become accustom to it. I was supposed to meet with a certain young lady two hours ago at the arena to go over our script but she didn't show. Do you know what happened to her?"
"Oh my God, Paul! I am so sorry... Give me about an hour and I can meet you there. It slipped my mind completely!"
"Well if that husband of yours can roll off you for a moment you could think straight and meet with me when you're supposed to."
"Paul, shut up. And I have you know he is gone for London. He left just a few moments ago. So your wifey is all yours for the next three weeks."
"Joy! I can't hardly wait."
"Paul Levesque! Stop making fun of me."
"Okay Steph. On a serious note, just meet me at Carlito's. We can talk over lunch."
"I'll be there in an hour."
"Okay Steph. Bye.
Paul ended the call as Steph looked at the phone. She headed back upstairs and into the bathroom. Now here was the tricky part. How in the heck is going to hide the bruise on her face? After thinking for a few moments, she decided wearing her hair down will hide not only her face but her neck as well. It was a little windy out so she grabbed a scarf too. Satisfied with her look and the bruised covered, she headed out the door with her script, cell phone and keys in hand.
On the way to the restaurant, she decided to call Keith to do a check in before he called. To no surprise, he didn't pick. 'He's probably on the plane and can't talk.' Steph waited for the beep so she could leave a message. "Hey baby. I was checking in with you. I'm head to grab some food and start working on the script. Love you." She ended the call and sat the phone on the seat. She conveniently left Paul's name out of her activities. She didn't need any trouble brewing so she left things simple.
She arrived at the restaurant but did not see Paul's car. She reached for her cell phone and dialed a familiar number.
"Paul. Where are you? I'm at the restaurant."
"Sorry. Bad wreck ahead of me. Traffic is horrible. It may take me another 30-40 minutes to get there. I'm going to get off at the next exit."
"Okay. I'll be waiting."
Steph got out the car and headed in the restaurant. She grabbed a seat as her phone started to ring. 'Keith.'
"Hey. I was going through security earlier. My flight was delayed so I'm stuck here at the airport. What are going to get to eat?" Before Steph could answer the server walked up and asked if she was ready to order. Steph answered she was waiting for someone. "Who are you waiting on?"
'Great. I tried to avoid this.' "Paul and I are going over the script. I was supposed to meet him three hours ago but I wasn't available. So he said he was hungry and to meet him here. So we can eat and work at the same time."
"Oh, I see. Why did you not mention this is your voicemail?" Keith was starting to get agitated. He hated when his wife and that man had to work.
"I wanted to tell you. I didn't want you to find out in a voicemail." Steph said trying to cover.
"That's bullshit and you know it! You weren't going to tell me, were you?" Keith paused for a response but was not present with one. "And by the lack of an answer, I can infer that you were going to keep it to yourself. Stephanie, why do you insist on upsetting me? Do you like to get hit? Does that turn you on? Is it a turn on for you? Do you cum every time I strike you? Do you mentally scream my name in passion when I slap you?" Steph once again was quiet. "You know, your life is not that bad. All I ask is that you love and obey me. And by obeying, that means following rules that I set out. What is the rule about you and Paul working together?"
"Someone has to be present with us at all times. We can't be alone ever. And I have to tell you when I am going and where I'm going when I'm with him." Steph said dragging it out.
"And you didn't follow any of those rules did you?" Once again no response. "We will discuss this at length when I get home. You call me when he shows up and call me when you leave. Go straight home and call me from the house phone when you get home. Understood?"
"Yes, Keith." The phone beeped telling her he disconnected the call. Steph grabbed pen and paper as she waited for Paul to arrive. Sometimes just writing her thoughts down kept her from losing her sanity. Paul said he would be another 30 to 40 minutes or so. She had time to get everything out.
Journal Entry…Carlito's Mexican Restaurant…Moments after conversation with Keith
There is no way I can continue living like this. Hiding my battle wounds from my friends and family. I know I need to get away but I can't. He won't let me go. Hell, I won't let myself go. So I need to make the best of things in my marriage. No more talk about how bad my life is. Things could be worst. My husband actually loves me. He just has some problems. But we can work on them. So until our relationship is perfect, these are the following rules I am making to preserve my marriage and my life.
I won't be like you. You take your insecurities out on me. What did I ever do but be a loving wife? When I messed up, I admitted it. I put the blame where it should be and that's on me. I don't blame everyone around me.
I won't cause any more trouble. I will shut the hell up when you tell me. I'm tired of fighting a losing battle. I don't believe in divorce and even if I did, I love you too much to leave. I won't make you mad anymore. All I want to be is perfect for you. I don't want to make you mad because I can't handle you in that state.
I won't fall off the deep end like you. When the accident happened, you were the grieving father. I know you loved Nathan more than your own life. I was grieving too but you didn't care. All that mattered was your hurt, your pain, your sorrow, your depression. And that's what led us to today. You screaming and beating me while I take your insults and blows.
I will not let myself get to that state. Your mind frame is not stable. When you get into your screaming and abusive fits, I can't stand it. But because I promised not to cause any more trouble for myself, I will shut up and take it. All of your abuse, no matter how bad it gets. This will become my new way of life.
I am yours.