Author: Tellmeimforgivenx PM
Kasuka's feelings for Shizuo were loving, but quite obsessive. Shizuo still let him love him. Might be OOC but hope you like it, anyway.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Kasuka H. & Shizuo H. - Words: 1,303 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11-26-11 - id: 7585656
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A Durarara! Fanfiction
AN: Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been writing though! So this is just a little thing I thought of while thinking about DRRR And thought it may go well. The characters are probably a bit OOC, but whatever. Hope you enjoy.~
Kasuka sat down on the couch with a plop, sighing. He was thinking of nothing in particular before he fell asleep. His dream was absolutely mad, but he didn't want to wake up, not ever.
He was dreaming of a certain blond haired boy he knew. Shizuo Heiwajima, his brother, his best friend. Kasuka had always had an irrational and non-acceptable love for Shizuo. In fact, he'd probably be willing to do anything for his dear Shizu-nii. Kasuka loved Shizuo, yes, but he loved him almost too much. He loved him enough to almost be caught loving him more than a brother. Still, he'd never admit to that, besides. It was a so called 'sin'. Kasuka didn't see a problem in it, but he'd always been open minded about things in that nature. Still, he'd never thought he'd be laying in bed dreaming about these very things. He never thought he'd have thoughts about his own brother and he.
(In the dream)
"Shizuo, I… I wish that we could go back… I don't want it to be so hard." Kasuka whispered.
Shizuo turned over, facing Kasuka, now. "But are you sure you'd really want to go back to what it was like?"
Kasuka just lay there for a while, pondering the question. After some time, he finally managed to say, "I don't really know, Shizu-nii. I don't. I just know that I'm tired of this being so wrong. It was easier when we…"
Shizuo cut him off, continuing the sentence as if it were continued by Kasuka himself. "Were kids, when life was simpler and we were cleaner and more innocent."
"You took the words out of my mouth, brother." Kasuka replied.
Shizuo leaned in and whispered one more thing. "It doesn't even matter. We're already going to hell." He closed the distance between the two , letting the quick kiss go right as it started.
Kasuka jerked awake, sighing at the thought of that dream, again. He wished he wouldn't have that dream every time he shut his eyes. He didn't want to see Shizuo and him kiss, again and again. It was bad enough that he loved Shizuo so much. He didn't want to have to dream about it day in and day out.
"I love you…" He sighed out.
Shizuo walked in with a usual scowl on his face, breathing out something about a 'damn flea' and 'why?'.
"Shizuo-nii, are you alright?" Kasuka asked, quietly.
Shizuo sighed, loudly, taking a spot next to Kasuka on the small couch. "It's just that damn flea, Izaya. Every day… Every single day."
"I… I hate him, but I love him. I really just, I don't know…"
Kasuka's eyes lost their gleam. He looked down and quietly asked, "…Does he love you?"
"I wish, Kasu-chan."
Kasuka thought for a while. He stayed silent for quite a while. Later, he finally said something.
"Maybe we could make an agreement." He paused. "My body for your love…"
Shizuo gasped. "What do you mean?"
Kasuka began to smile, knowing Shizuo would only want to make his brother happy. "I'll let you do whatever you want to me, you don't even have to look at me. You can pretend I'm Izaya, even. Just come to me… Say 'I love you' to me. I don't even care if you don't mean it, as long as I can hear your voice. Please…"
Shizuo still stayed silent, not knowing what to say. He was almost puzzled to an extent, not knowing what to think of the entire matter, but he did love Izaya. He loved Izaya, yes, and Kasuka was willing to be Izaya for him. That was more than almost anyone'd ever done for him. Shizuo didn't know how to say yes or no, he didn't know what to say. It was a great bargain on his side, but he didn't want to play with Kasuka like that. Still, Shizuo nodded his head in an up and downward motion, signifying he accepted the offer.
The first night was awkward, to say the least. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't good and definitely not normal. Kasuka got out a blindfold, tying it over Shizuo's eyes. He clumsily grabbed onto Shizuo's freshly ironed jacket, latching his lips onto the other's.
"Ngh…" Shizuo let the quiet sound escape the back of his throat, tightly holding onto Kasuka. Shizuo felt his way around Kasuka's body, not being able to see anything due to the blindfold being knotted tightly over his eyes.
"Iza… ya." He whispered.
Kasuka continued what he was doing, but his eyes stung. He knew he was never going to be Izaya. Kasuka knew he wasn't ever going to be what Shizuo really wanted, but he could try. He would try.
After they were finished, Shizuo searched for Kasuka's lips. When he found them, he kissed him, violently.
"I'm going to take the blindfold off, now, Shizuo." Kasuka spoke very quietly, almost matching a whisper. Shizuo nodded, leaning his head forward, slightly. As Kasuka untied it, Shizuo began tensing up. He didn't want to see Kasuka's face when he opened his eyes. He wanted to see Izaya's, but that was impossible. "Shizu-nii, you can open your eyes, now."
Finally, Shizuo's eyes began to slowly flutter open to be greeted with his brother's blood-shot ones.
"Kasuka, were you… crying?" Shizuo whimpered, slightly, trying not to sound too upset about it. He was only concerned about it because he was his brother.
The second night was no better. Kasuka and Shizuo were still unfamiliar with each other's bodies. They still didn't know what the other liked, and Shizuo still didn't love Kasuka as Kasuka did him.
During the fifth night, Shizuo almost moaned Kasuka's name instead of Izaya's, but still managed to say Izaya's name in there. It sounded more like 'Kizaya' if anything. They were laying in Kasuka's bed when he said, "This may make you hate me, Shizu-nii, but I have to say it. One day, I'll steal your heart away from Izaya, I promise."
Shizuo didn't know if it was a joke, if Kasuka was just tired, or if he was being serious.
Kasuka smiled, brightly when he saw the look on Shizuo's face when he saw Kasuka. He was pleased at Shizuo's reaction, even though it was nothing but shock.
Kasuka's bangs were cut like Izaya's. "I thought you'd like to feel Izaya's hair instead of mine."
Kasuka's face looked happy, but in his head, he was thinking, 'Shizuo, I love you… I'll be Izaya if it means you'll love me.' His thought process paused for a moment for Kasuka to think of something to continue the statement by. 'I'll love you when he doesn't. I promise I'll do it. One day, You'll love me just like I love you…'
That night, Kasuka promised himself he'd never let Shizuo love Izaya more than him because he was becoming Izaya for Shizuo.
AN: Well, that didn't turn out exactly how I expected it, but alas, I still hope you enjoy it. :3.