|Stand By Me
Author: TheRunaways1975 PM
In the summer of 1959-6 teenagers set out to find a missing girl. But they got some competition too. Can the Olympic Gang-Eddie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie& Bella-get to her before The Wolf Pack-Sam, Jacob, Jared, Embry, Quil, Paul, and Seth-can?Rated: Fiction T - English - Friendship/Romance - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,809 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 06-13-12 - Published: 11-27-11 - id: 7590333
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Stand By Me. It belongs to Stephanie Meyer and the guy who created the movie.
Summary: In the summer of 1959, Bree Tanner, a young seven year old girl went missing. She was last seen on the train tracks near the Royal River. The Olympic Gang sets out to find her body for a reward to get on TV and be famous. But they got a little competiton. Can they reach her before their rival gang-The Wolf Pack can?
Chapter 6: Lardass's Revenge
Eddie gave me the piggy back ride for the rest of the day, letting Emmett off the hook. He seemed happier than he did back before the train incident.
"Okay, Eddie. You can set me down now," I said, rolling my eyes after he finished singing, Lollipop, at the top of his lungs.
"You sure, Bells?" he asked, looking over his shoulder to glance at me.
"Positive. Just set me down...I need to stretch out my legs."
He joyfully set me down on the ground, and stretched out his arms by flexing out his muscles. I couldn't help the swoon inside of me. My crush was getting the best of me. I have to work on hiding it.
"Ah, there's nothing like a good smoke after you're done eating your dinner and working on your dessert," Emmett sighed, happily as he took in a long drag of smoke from his cigarette.
Right now, we were sitting around a campfire that Rosalie and I had managed to spark up with just two stones. Just like the olden days, too. Alice and Jasper passed out cigarettes for everyone, but I passed. I liked my lungs just the way they were, thank you very much for asking.
"What is there to do for entertainment, anyways?" Jasper asked, taking in another drag of his cigarette.
"Hey Bella! Why don't you tell us a story!" Eddie said, enthusastically.
"Nah, I'm good thanks," I said waving it off. I wasn't in the mood to tell a story, anyways.
"Awe, c'mon Bells! Please!" they all whined and begged at the same time. "STORY! STORY! STORY!" Emmett even started stamping his feet and clapping his hands together to add effect.
"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!" I yelled over they shouts. "Sheesh, scream it high heaven why don't ya!" I racked my brain for a good story to tell. Oh! I have the perfect story! "Has anyone ever heard of the legend of Lardass?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
They all shook their heads no.
"Well, there was this kid named Davie Hogan, and he was really fat. But his obesity wasn't intentional, it was his glands. And his fatness was laughed at and harassed all the time. And instead of calling him by his real name, Davie, they started calling him, Lardass. Lardass Hogan. And even his little brother and sister and even his own parents started calling him Lardass! But every year, the town he lived in held an annual county fair during the summer months with a pie eating contest. It wasn't until the last few days of school that the perfect idea for revenge had hit him. The most perfect plan for revenge that any kid had ever come up with."
"Oh my god. What was it?" Emmett asked, totally engrossed into the story. Everybody was.
"When the county fair had come around, Lardass had enrolled himself into the pie eating contest. Totally content on his plan for revenge..."
Mr. Mayor: "And now, ladies and gentlemen! It's time for our annual pie eating contest!"
Crowd: (cheer, clap)
Mr. Mayor: "Let's meet our contestants, shall we? Our first contestant is mighty hungry tonight! He's the principal of our Greenland High School, and he's got a humngous appetite and he's hungry for victory! Give it up for Mr. Buyrns!"
Mr. Buyrns: (walks onto stage, waving and smiling at crowd)
Mr. Mayor: "Our next contestant is a student at Greenland Middle School! He's got the appetite of an elephant and, boy, does he look like one, too! Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcoming for Davie Hogan!"
Lardass: (walks onto stage, suddenly trips)
Crowd: (bursts into a roar of laughter)
Mr. Mayor: (rushes forward to help Lardass) "Are you alright young man?" (helps Lardass to his feet) "Don't let the crowd get to you Lardas-I mean, Davie."
Lardass: (walks to his seat)
Crowd: "Baba boom! Baba boom!"
Lardass: (stops glares at crowd)
Crowd: (immedieatly stops)
Lardass: (continues to walk to his seat)
Crowd: "Baba boom! Baba boom!"
Mr. Mayor: "And our last contestant has won the pie eating contest the last four years in a row! He's a lean mean eating machine and he's got an appetite of steel! Give it up for Howie Glanford!"
Crowd: (loud cheers and catcalls)
Mr. Mayor: "Alright folks, you know the drill. Both hands behind the back, and the one person who eats the most pies in under a minute wins the constest!"
Crowd: (claps and cheers)
Mr. Mayor: "Alright, and on your mark...get set...GO!"
"Lardass should've earned the term as a lean mean eating machine, because one pie after another, Howie Glanford and the principal, Mr. Buyrns, stared at Lardass in complete shock, their pies soon being forgotten. And soon, Lardass had the whole crowd wrapped around his big, fat, meaty pinky finger. Mr. Mayor was getting a little concerned for Lardass at how fast he was eating."
Mr. Mayor: "You better slow down, boy, if you wanna hold out."
Crowd: (chanting) "LARDASS! LARDASS! LARDASS!"
Mr. Mayor: (looks at his pocket watch) "TIMES UP!" (looks at the pie shells. Mr. Buyrns has six, Howie Glanford eleven, and Lardass eighteen) "And the winner is Lardas-I mean, Davie Hogan!"
"But there was this loud rumble. A rumble so loud that it shook the entire stage and the crowd's chairs, too. Lardass's face started to turn a little green. Mr. Mayor stared at him with a concerned look, and before you know it, Lardass upchucked a good amount of eighteen pies, right in Mr. Mayors face and all over the front of his shirt. The crowd looked in disgust, and it wasn't long before Mr. Buyrns stomach started to churn, too. And the next thing you know, Mr. Buyrns vomits up his pies, that spews a good three or four feet, landing all over Howie Glandford. And then, it turned into a barforama. Girlfriend's barfed on boyfriend's! Toddler's barfed on their mom's! Brother's barfed on sister's! And while everyone was vomiting up their stomachs, Lardass just sat back in his chair and watched with a pride that glowed on in his stomach and on his face."
Everyone was starting to turn green.
"And that was the story of Lardass's revenge! The end."
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