|The Pink Ribbon
Author: PWTMC PM
In which all they want is a baby, but nothing is ever so simple. KakaSaku.Rated: Fiction M - English - Drama - Kakashi H. & Sakura H. - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,374 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 02-03-12 - Published: 12-04-11 - id: 7608256
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Once more, I'll just keep going until the inspiration dries up. There are like five million things I should probably worry about updating first, as they've gone without an update much longer, but I already wasted the time plotting. We're all lucky, haha.
Also, I think I mentioned my missing flashdrive. I've completely lost my plot and am just kinda going with the fic now. But that means I'm missing the symbolism in the title, I totally forgot what it was supposed to mean. Now it's just there for no reason. It'll have to be changed. Anyone with a suggestion, feel free to drop it. I have no idea.
I keep writing myself into corners :(
Kakashi went so far as to offer to write the check the second she brought it up.
Sakura wasn't all that surprised; he had never been anything less of supportive, even excited at the prospect of having children with her. They had talked about trying in vitro before, but strictly in passing. She refused to seriously consider it before. Now, her patience was wavering.
Still, she had things she wanted to look in to still and a decision of her own to worry about before the money was dished out – how much that was she didn't even know yet – and a specialist was found. There were a lot of things she didn't like and a lot she didn't want to risk.
What if she regretted it after it's already been done? That was something she wouldn't want to have to face and her view of it now made her skeptical of the possibility that IVF could be beneficial. She didn't want some artificially made baby.
Seeing things so black and white couldn't be making her situation any easier, though.
She refused to look into it the day after their short conversation; her decision hadn't been made yet. She'd always pondered it in the back of her mind and now with it right in the forefront she almost didn't know what to take it for. She felt rushed, like she didn't have as much time as she really did.
Hoping she wouldn't regret it later, as she felt unsure with nearly every decision she made these days, Sakura asked for some time off work. This was a first for her and Tsunade let her take two days of personal time off, no questions asked. She would be spending these two days debating if in vitro fertilization was really the way she wanted to go.
She came home from her shift early, granted it was still late for any normal human being. Sakura crossed the threshold into her house just a bit past midnight, noticing that lights were still on and Kakashi was still awake. She could hear him moving around upstairs.
Lazily, Sakura tossed her bag to the floor. It would stay leaning against the wall for the remainder of the night and she would pick it up in the morning. Her shoes came off next and she made her way up to her bedroom.
Kakashi was dressed in full uniform, meaning nothing other than his departure.
"Where are you off to?" Sakura asked, her soft voice pulling in his total attention.
"Suna." Kakashi replied, "Tsunade threw another A-rank at me, I'm honestly kind of tired. I shouldn't be gone long."
Sakura smiled over at him as if on reflex, but as soon as 'A-rank' missions were mentioned a scary thought flickered into her mind – what if she were already pregnant and on this A-rank Kakashi was injured or even killed? What would she do? After seeing the hard time Kurenai endured after Asuma passed she didn't want any of that.
"Are you okay?" Kakashi asked, taking a step toward her. It must have shown on her face and she didn't even realize it.
"Just tired." She answered, shaking her head. It wasn't a lie; it just wasn't the whole truth. Kakashi didn't need to know everything running through her mind right now, especially considering she was the only one left with a decision to make.
Smile on his exposed face, Kakashi sarcastically remarked, "Okay, then". Such a familiar expression. He took another step to close their distance and lifted his hands to grip her upper arms.
Suddenly she felt nervous, like this would be their last goodbye. But that was silly. She was just making herself paranoid.
Kakashi leaned in for a quick, chaste kiss. His hands on Sakura's arms prevented her from reaching out to touch him though she desperately wanted to. All she could do was kiss back.
As imperfect a moment as it was, it was the first bit of enjoyable intimacy between them in what felt like forever. Sakura would be missing him an awful lot tonight.
Once he was gone, Sakura found it difficult to drift off to sleep due to a combination of things – fear, anxiety, excitement… She hadn't felt so conflicted since she was a teenager, not that that wasn't long ago.
She had her two days of personal time off to catch up on sleep.
She decided to compose a list of pros and cons to IVF.
All it seemed to do was depress her. The only positive thing she could come up with was that she might get her baby. Of course, that encompassed all the good pieces that came along with the baby and every reason she wanted one, but it was still only one single pro.
Her reasons to be skeptical seemed abundant in comparison. There was the issue of her pregnancy becoming disconnected and scientific, which was her biggest fear about trying something so unnatural. There was a higher chance of a miscarriage or birth defects if the IVF even worked. It would be expensive and would probably take multiple treatments. There would be a high chance of multiple births.
Surprisingly the idea of multiple births was one of the ones that struck her as most difficult to cope with. She was really only aiming for one. Did that mean she wasn't ready at all? Was she just making another mistake?
A lot of reasons why she shouldn't try presented themselves when all she was really looking for was a reason why she should. Still, the one reason she'd written on her 'pro' side attracted her, seeing it, as usual, made it feel real.
There was a possibility.
She was young and she could wait, but she was always impatient and growing frustrated. She wanted kids and she wanted them as soon as possible. People in her line of work did everything early. Early to live, early to die, early to have children.
She'd look into prices and procedures during her time off.
A/N: Anybody notice something off about my format recently? I think its this new computer. I might have to fix it. The huge paragraphs bother me.