dulce et decorum

7.

Nor takes, nor quits, HER curule seat
To please a people's veering will.

Sitting seiza in the dojo, clad in simple cotton and worn tabi socks, Neji tried to find peace. He reached deep inside himself, for the ice that would fill his blood and the serene pond in the center of himself, and found instead heat and roiling fire, a savage monster tearing at his soul and his mind.

Control wavered and threatened to break and Neji knew that once he let the monster free, everything was lost. Everything is already lost, the thing raged. Hinata-sama is no longer heir. Everything we have planned for is gone.

It was hard to think of them as lies when the words rang so true. The nights they had spent together, arguing, discussing, going over ancient treatises and scrolls on the history of the clan, meditating together on the future...gone. He raised a hand and brushed his bare forehead, feeling the soft ridges of the seal under his fingers, chakra whispering faintly in response to his touch. A bird trapped in a cage, shackled with broken hopes and dreams.

Like cupping water with our hands, he thought bitterly, the fire and heat in him growing stronger and stronger. Impossible. We thought we could do it and choose our own fates, defy destiny. Now—now everything has trickled through our palms and there is nothing left but the mere memory of what could be.

Worse still was the knowledge that hung around his neck, heavy as a millstone, the shame that he would carry all of his life: if he had gone, Hinata would have been saved and the Branch with it. If only he had taken her place, if only he had spirited her away and let himself die for the sake of the clan, if only he had…if only…if only…

Let me free, the monster roared, clawing at his chest, raking at his heart until he could bear it no longer. Neji wept.

"Please wake up."

Sakura had learned many things since she had graduated from the Academy that spring day so very long ago. She had learned what a broken heart felt like, what it meant to lose nearly all that she loved, learned what defeat and pain and blood tasted like, learned to fight and hate and love; to give and take and kill and save.

A pink sponge, Tsunade-shishou had joked, elbow-deep in bleeding guts and swirling chakra. You just soak up everything. There's no stopping you.

"Sada-chan…If you can hear me…"

There was no going back.

"I—I'm sorry—"

Sakura opened her eyes.

"Sasuke's been seen with Akatsuki and Kabuto."

Stupid bug, Sakura thought irritably, eyeing the moth beating against the glass window with a quiet contempt. It's just a freaking window and hitting at it won't change anything. It's beating its own fucking head in. What kind of stupid and mindless creature does that kind of thing?

"Sakura."

The soft sound of beating wings rang loudly in her ears and she shook her head a little, as if it would clear the noise away. Still, she could hear the whispery echoes and idly wondered if Tsunade had noticed the insect yet.

"I know this is—you and Naruto have…I'm sorry. But you have to understand, we're at war right now."

It was a small, drab, black and white striped creature, with wings that beat quicker than her own heart. Thawp. Thwap. Thwap. Thwap.

"He's a threat to the village."

Thwap.

Thwap.

Thwap.

"He needs to be taken down, Sakura."

Thwap.

Sakura slammed her hand down on the window and felt the brittle skin of the moth crumple against her hand, papery wings crushed against her fingers.

"Of course, Hokage-sama," Sakura said, greenish-white fluid slowly trickling from her palm and onto the floor. "When do I leave?"

"So, Su-zu-ki Sa-da-chaaaaaan," Anko said obnoxiously, idly tossing a packet of papers hand to hand.

"Anko-san," Sakura said, giving her a polite salute and a cool stare. "Are you…?"

"No wonder you were called the brainiest kunoichi," Anko leered, leaning back dangerously in her chair, idly chewing on a wooden skewer. "What else were ya gonna do with that big forehead of yours? Like any of the boys were gonna give you a second glance. Maybe if it was dark, eh?"

"I believe you have my papers." Sakura redirected her pointed stare to the floor and repressed an angry sigh. It was a test, nothing more. A test, she repeated to herself.

"You believe, but do you know?" Anko cackled and spat her skewer out, hitting the calendar on the wall with unerring accuracy.

"Anko-san." Sakura briefly entertained the fantasy of a chakra-enhanced punch to Anko's face before ruthlessly quashing it. Maybe after the briefing.

"So fucking impatient, you know that? Bet you're a stone cold frigid bitch in bed—well, with that attitude, who knows if you are even getting any."

"My papers."

Anko narrowed her eyes and then abruptly tossed the packet over. "You know," she said slowly, shoving her hands into the pockets of her coat. "I don't know whether to believe that you can control yourself or you're just like this all the time."

Sakura looked up from the falsified citizenship papers in her hands and smiled thinly. "I take the stick out of my ass when I'm not on a mission," she reassured the other woman.

"Well, that's a relief," Anko said drily.

"Everything seems to be in order." Sakura tucked the papers into a pouch and sealed it shut with a small flare of chakra. "Thank you for the excellent work, Anko-san."

"Tch. You'll need it, for the job you're doing. You'll be in deep, Haruno and you know the rules. Don't break cover. Don't get compromised. And above all, kill that son of a bitch."

Sakura nodded and tried to swallow, but the lump in her throat wouldn't let her. "Could you—I just, there's one last message but I don't have time to tell the Hokage and I don't trust anything written down right now. I know I might be asking for too much, but—"

Anko nodded, her dark eyes unreadable. "I can try."

"Tell Naruto—tell him I'm sorry, but I'm releasing him from his promise."

When Sada finally woke up and looked up at him with those green eyes of hers, Kyo almost forgot how to breathe.

"I…Where…"

He reflexively pressed a hand against her forehead and then blushed a bright pink when she blinked up at him owlishly, drawing back quickly. "Don't strain yourself," Kyo quickly cautioned, giving her a warning look when she struggled to sit up.

"You've just broken out of a healing coma or whatever it's called and you have three newly healed ribs and a fractured skull and crap—don't touch that, that's your—"

"IV and chakra monitor lines, I know," Sada said quietly, but Kyo could hear the sharp edge of humor and relaxed.

"Who's the one who graduated from the Medical Corps with full honors?" she teased, fingers gently probing the needles and plastic tubing taped to her arm.

"Yeah, well," Kyo said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. "You could've hurt yourself."

"Thank you."

Don't blush, don't blush! Kyo blushed.

"I don't understand, why am I…" Sada blanched, eyes widening in half-remembered fear. "Konoha— They were in the infirmary, I couldn't—"

"It's alright," he said tightly, fighting down the furious rush of anger that raged inside him, chakra threatening to spill from his fingers like liquid lightning. "We managed to kill a few of them but…they got away."

"But A10—what about the subject, what about—" Sada stopped and sucked in a sharp breath. "No. No."

"I'm sorry, Sada." Kyo's hands were gentle as he lightly stroked her dark hair.

"Seiji died to get her. And now…I couldn't even—"

Each quiet sob was like a fresh dagger in his side, spilling intangible blood onto the floor. Those bastards, Kyo thought savagely, gripping the armrests of his chair until they creaked and groaned in protest. They'll pay with every single one of their lives.

"I'm sorry, Kyo-san, I—I shouldn't have—"

"Don't ever apologize," he said firmly. "None of it's your fault. You did your job and if the rest of us guards had done what was ours, you—you never would have been hurt like that."

Her large eyes looked so lost and frail, red-rimmed with unshed tears. "I can't believe I'm saying this again but…thank you. I really mean it."

"Hey, what're friends for?" he joked, leaning back into his chair and trying not to notice his quickening heartbeat.

"Friends," Sada echoed and then reached out, her pale hand light against his knee. "Can I—can I call you Kyo-kun?"

"The Council and the Head of the Clan are in harmonious accord, their minds and their wills as one in this decision. Hyuuga Hinata, daughter of Hyuuga Hotaru has abdicated, willingly giving over her position as Heir Apparent to Hyuuga Hanabi, daughter of Hyuuga Hiashi. The Council and Head are in approval and accept Hyuuga Hanabi as Heir to the Hyuuga Clan."

Holding her younger sister's hands in her own, Hinata could not help but wonder at how strong they were. Not my Hanabi-chan anymore, she thought a little wistfully, feeling the rough calluses scraping against her palm.

"Do you, Hyuuga Hanabi, swear to serve the clan and protect it, through times of peace and war?"

"I swear."

Only a few years before, at her coming of age, had Hinata uttered those same words, engraving the oath onto her heart where no wind would wear the words away. Now, in a strange twist of fate, her own sister prostrated before her, no doubt carving the words onto her own heart.

"Do you, Hyuuga Hanabi, swear to serve the Village and protect the lives of the people before your own?"

"I swear."

"Do you, Hyuuga Hanabi, give your life to the Clan?"

"My life is not my own, but belongs to my people. My heart is not my own, but is of the Will of Fire."

"Then rise, Hyuuga Hanabi, Heir Apparent, and fulfill your duty with honor."

And Hanabi's hands drew away, gently untangling themselves from Hinata's tight grip. Goodbye, Hanabi-chan, she silently wept, knowing that the bandages wrapped around her sightless eyes would hide the tears.

The petals were whisper soft against her light touch and Hinata brought them closer, enjoying the fresh scent.

"These are very lovely, Lee-san."

"Irises," he quickly put in and Hinata heard the slight hitch in his voice. "They're purple. Yamanaka-san recommended them, she said that they would brighten up any room."

"I'm very grateful. Truly, this means a lot to me."

"I—it's nothing. It's just a something small." There was another awkward pause in his sentence. Hinata tilted her head and extended her senses, trying to feel for the flicker and flow of chakra nearly three feet in front of her. It was no use; Lee barely registered on her mind's eye and it was only through his voice that she could detect anything. Uncertainty, fear, a little pain.

"How's your injury? Healing, I hope?" she asked gently and set the flowers aside, making a mental note to call Kasumi-chan later to bring a vase and set the irises on her desk. Perhaps she would even try drying and pressing the petals later on for Hanabi to use as a bookmark. She had always liked the color purple…

"Oh, yes! Hokage-sama said it was lucky Sakura-san was the one who saw me before I arrived in the village. I would have lost the leg if it weren't for her and Neji and Tenten."

"I'm glad to hear that. Has Gai-sensei recovered from his wounds? I haven't heard much from Tenten as well—oh, I apologize, Lee-san. I haven't been able to go out as often as I'd like and I haven't heard much about anyone," she amended apologetically, tucking her hair behind an ear.

"Oh, they're fine!" Lee's voice was enthusiastic as he painted a picture of his determined and valiant sensei enthusiastically going through physical therapy, recovering from a brief poisoning a few weeks before in Wave Country. "And Tenten's on a brief mission to an outpost a few miles away—courier missions." She could practically hear his bright smile. Gai, Tenten, Lee. The only missing piece is Neji-niisan, Hinata considered, the names echoing in her mind, the gears and pieces quickly fitting together.

"Neji-niisan will be back on active duty soon," she said quietly, absently smoothing the folds of the blanket around her. "We've been having…some difficulties with some minor Clan affairs, but now that it's all cleared up, he'll be free to join the team again. He's been very busy in the dojo these past few days." Click. The last piece was put into place and now all she could do was sit back and wait and see if it fell apart or not.

"That's great! I haven't heard much from him since he requested that leave a couple of months ago. We can finally train together again, now that I'm all better!"

"He'll be called back in a few days—the first of next month, I believe." Lee-san, please…I hope you can help him. "He hasn't left the dojo since the Clan meetings have finished."

"He must be really training hard, then! Yosh! I can't lose to my Eternal Rival like this, I have to double my normal training regimen in order to defeat him!"

"I'm sure he'd like the chance to train with both you and Tenten-san soon. As a matter of fact, I know he'll be in the dojo tomorrow afternoon, reviewing katas by himself. Perhaps the entire team could meet and train together tomorrow…?" Hinata breathed in deeply and silently apologized to Neji. It's for your own good, nii-san.

Lee's voice was astonished. "But—I thought it was a Clan only dojo? Are you sure, Hinata-san?"

"I'm sure," she said firmly and smiled. "My father would certainly welcome Neji-niisan's friends—no, my friends. As would Neji-niisan, I think." I hope, Hinata thought guiltily, fingers twisting under the cover of her blanket, unseen.

"Yosh! You are as generous as you are youthful, Hinata-san! Tomorrow it is, then."

"You're good to go, Sato-kun."

"Thanks—stay safe!" Tenten gave the old chuunin guard an easy salute and made her way through the gates, clouds of dust swirling around her sandaled feet. It would be a relief to have a proper soak and a hot meal—the guard outpost, fifty miles from the wall, had been in the middle of reconstruction after an attack and running water hadn't exactly been a priority at the moment. Nor had been hot water, meals that weren't made of indigestible field rations, and proper laundry services. Civilization!, Tenten's aggrieved soul had cried out hysterically only moments before at the sight of the imposing Village walls, covered in days of accumulated grime, sweat and dried blood.

Four courier missions, 2000 ryou a piece, which makes it 8000 ryou, minus 500 ryou for processing fees, but I still have some hazard pay I didn't have a chance to collect before, which makes it 10,650 ryou in total. Half of it goes in the bank and for bills…And I have to buy cat food for Jiang…I wonder if I have enough ration coupons for that… Tenten sighed and rubbed her temples. Living on her own and doing adult things was not as fun as her thirteen-year-old genin self had imagined. Like going to the bank and paying the rent and going on boring missions to pay for the clothes on her back.

At least it's better than the frontlines, Tenten reflected quietly and bit her lip, trying not to remember the sight of trench rats gorging themselves on fresh corpses, the sharp smell of gunpowder and chakra exploding in the air—

"TENTEN."

She blinked.

"Lee— oof—" A large green-spandex covered ball of energy smashed into her excitedly, almost throwing her off balance and onto the dusty dirt road.

"YOSH! I'M ALL BETTER THROUGH THE POWER OF YOUTH AND WE CAN GO TRAIN IN THE FORESTS AGAIN WITH GAI SENSEI."

"I—can—see that. Lee, GET OFF ME."

Tenten huffed, annoyed, and adjusted the pack on her back, checking to make sure he hadn't damaged the more delicate scrolls she was carrying. He hadn't, thankfully, although one of the scrolls looked a little too bent for comfort. She'd have to check that out later and possibly beat Lee's head in with something large, heavy and extremely blunt. "You do look better," she said grudgingly, falling into step with Lee as they fled the road for the roofs.

"It's all thanks to you and Neji and Sakura-san and Tsunade-sama," Lee expounded, his arms wind milling to show his immense gratitude. Tenten ran a practiced three paces to his left, knowing that a happy Lee was also a dangerous Lee. "If it weren't the combined efforts of this Youthful Village, I, the fierce Green Beast of Konoha, would no longer be running joyfully with my teammate on this Beautifully Sunny And Youthful Day."

"You're welcome," Tenten said drily. "Where's Neji, anyhow? I would've thought you two would be beating your heads in with sticks or something to prove your Eternal Manliness."

Lee's bright face darkened and he stopped running, sandals skidding on the shingled roof. "I haven't seen him since Hinata-san was brought back from Kumo."

Tenten wrinkled her brow and tried to ignore the way the bottom of her stomach suddenly disappeared. "What do you mean?"

"You haven't heard—" He cut himself off with a firm shake of his head.

"Haven't heard what," Tenten said sharply, her voice edged with desperation, knuckles whitening as her hands curled into tight fists.

"Hinata-san was brought back from Kumo alive but—but blinded. She officially stepped down from her position as Clan Heir and—Hyuuga Hanabi is now Heir Apparent."

Tenten met Lee's dark, sympathetic eyes and knew that it was all over. "Then—the Branch—"

He bowed his head and for a long while there was silence. They both knew what it meant. Hanabi was the favored daughter of the Minami faction, warhawks and stubborn clan elders bent on preserving clan tradition and protecting the Main family's position of power. With Hanabi in power and Hinata effectively useless, the Branch family would ultimately…

She swore. Everything she had bargained for was gone in a single stroke of misfortune. No plan ever survives contact with the enemy, the Academy had instructed but Tenten had forgotten. She had miscalculated, hadn't taken the enemy seriously, hadn't taken into account Murphy's fucking law. Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, she thought bitterly. And it had.

"Is Neji—" Tenten bit her lip hard enough to turn it white. Lee's answering silence told her enough. She could feel something hot and coppery spill from her lips and into her mouth. Blood.

"There's only one thing left that we can do."

Tenten looked up when Lee's hand gently brushed her shoulder. "We'll just have to beat some sense into him," he promised. "Naruto-kun style."

You are water, flowing from the mountains, through the valleys, to the wide ocean. You do not stop, but keep flowing, the swift rush of melting snow and rapids. You are cool, calm, watchful. You are Hyuuga, waiting in the sun and striking when the time is right. You are the blade that cuts the air, swift as a swallow, all-seeing, all-knowing. You are—

"Onii-sama."

Neji stopped mid-kata and let his arms fall back to his side, shifting from Floating Lotus Flowers and into a normal stance.

"Yes?" he bit off curtly and turned his attention towards the shadow of a girl on the paper screen, chakra coiled tight.

"There are guests awaiting your presence, Onii-sama."

He frowned and padded silently towards the door, sliding it open with a light touch. He looked down at the kneeling girl, her bandaged head bowed down in deference.

"I was not expecting anyone."

"Should this one tell the honored guests that Onii-sama is not available?"

"Not before you tell me who they are."

"Onii-sama's teammates, Rock Lee and Sato Tenten."

Neji's frown deepened. "Send them in," he said stiffly and shut the door in her face. This was—unusual, to say the least. His teammates had never directly approached the Compound before. Was there news concerning the team? Perhaps the Village? Brow knitted, he settled himself on the tatami mats and bent his knees in proper seiza.

Or…Neji's heart stuttered and he closed his eyes. Or they had heard of the news. Without a warning the beast inside him stirred and he felt uncontrollably angry for a moment, the heat uncomfortably warm and hard in his chest. What right did they to pry into business that wasn't theirs? They would come with pity in their eyes and soft, poisonous words and judge the Clan with their outsider eyes. They would judge him and pity him and look upon the seal on his brow and mock both him and Hinata for daring to lift a hand against the chains of fate—

The shouji slid open again and Neji felt, more than heard, both of his teammates step quietly inside the dojo. The beast, deep inside him, growled.

"Why are you here?" He didn't bother dulling the keen edge of his words. They were meant to cut deep and draw blood.

Tenten's voice was cool. "Hinata-kun invited us here to train with you."

Neji sucked in a quiet breath. Hinata-sama had? But for what reason had she…the claws tightened and he dismissed the thought. Hinata-sama was ill, still recovering from her grievous injuries. She probably wasn't in her right mind.

"I am not Hinata-sama," he said to the dojo walls, not bothering to turn around and face his teammates. "I have no wish to train with you both."

"Well that sucks, cause I do!" Lee said cheerfully, bounding easily from the entrance and into the wide, expansive room. "Wow, this place is pretty impressive and large! Yosh, we shall get even stronger by using such an important place, right Tenten?"

"Right," Tenten said agreeably. "I think I'll follow what Neji's doing here and get some meditation done. I haven't been able to focus properly the past few days and it's really been affecting my aim—"

"Get out."

"Can't," Lee and Tenten chorused in unison, both of them ignoring the sudden spike of killing intent in the room. "Even if we wanted to, we can't," Tenten added, adjusting her dark hakama pants. She set her thin black slippers off to the side and settled into a cross-legged position.

"Even if you are a jerk, you are our teammate, no matter how annoying and hard headed you are," Lee said, shucking off his flak jacket and folding it reverently. He bent down into a crouch and started unfastening the weights on his legs, setting the heavy orange legwarmers on top of his jacket. "So when you start acting like this, we have to come and straighten you out." Lee fell into an easy stretch, leaning down and touching his toes.

"We're moving out in a few days, maybe a week or two, seeing if Gai-sensei gets better by then. They're gonna ship us out to Wave, have us do something against the blockade on the ports. Might even have to go back to Iwa and the trenches." Back perfectly straight and hands resting on her knees, Tenten's chest slowly rose and fell, her face calm and unreadable. "We're gonna be a team seeing heavy action, so we've got to get our act together. So. You want to do this the hard way or the easy way?"

"Can we do it the hard way?" Lee asked hopefully, mid-contortion. "I haven't fought against Neji in a long, long time and we need to keep our Eternal Rivalry on!"

Mouth dry, Neji couldn't hear anything but the loud thud of his beating heart, couldn't see anything but their warm faces, their bright compassionate eyes. There was no pity in them, only understanding. He had—he had missed them, locked up in this glass house, choked and stifled by the Clan, by the Clan rules, by the tradition that had gagged him and tied his hands together. He had been alone for the past two months, with nothing but his raging, angry thoughts for company, the beast that had poisoned every thought and action.

"I—" he began slowly, hands tightening into fists. "I—"

"It's okay," Tenten said softly, reaching out and taking his hand with her own. Lee's hand rested on his shoulder as he too, came closer, lending his strength. "We're your friends, Neji."

With them he was neither Branch nor Main, neither genius nor warrior. He was just Neji.

He felt the mask on his face crumble and the beast in his chest growled one last time before it faded away. Neji slumped forward and broke seiza, feeling those warm and calloused hands catch him and pull him into a strong embrace.

"That's a civilian village. Sir."

"Are you questioning my orders, Hyuuga?"

Neji bit his lip and fought down the urge to Kaiten his ass across the country. He had to keep calm and controlled. Getting angry would only hurt him, not help. But it would make him feel much, much better.

"I'm questioning their veracity, Captain," he said coldly, keeping the chakra in his eyes at bay. "You're ordering bombs to be detonated in a civilian village, sir. A village that is only allegedly harboring Kumo nin and a village that is filled with women and children."

"How long have you been serving in the war, Hyuuga?"

"I don't see how that matters. Sir."

"Don't make me repeat my question."

"Two. Two years."

"Two years you been fighting this damned war and you still don't know what war is like? You take your goddamned orders and you fulfill them. We're ninja, not some lily-livered samurai bushido-freaks. We kill when we're told to kill, we eat when we're told to eat and when the goddamned General Commander asks us to jump, we ask how high. You got that, white eye?"

"Sir," Neji said stiffly and made an awkward salute.

"Good. Now go give Sato her orders and tell her to move it fast. Night's almost on us and the higher ups want the place clean off the maps by tomorrow."

"Yes, Captain." Neji disappeared, leaving the tall, grimy captain alone in the shadow of the tent. Captain Moritaka spat onto the dusty ground and shook his head. Kid was a certified veteran and he still acted like a damned greenie. Still…Moritaka pulled out lighter from his back pocket and played with the catch, looking over the maps spread out on the table before him.

Goddamned if the kid wasn't right. Women and kids…Moritaka spat again but the ashy taste didn't leave his mouth. Goddamn it all.

The sky was blue.

Clouds floated by so serenely, so peacefully above her, like a parade of horses marching for the gods above and below. It was so pretty. Pretty.

The ringing in her head wouldn't stop but kept going and going and going and she couldn't hear anything else. Dimly, Tenten wondered what happened to all the other noise. She couldn't hear any more shouting, couldn't hear the crack and boom of chakra bombs, couldn't hear the crack and rumble of doton jutsu ravaging the land, couldn't hear the sound of trench rats scuttling everywhere, looking for food.

It was nice. Tenten closed her eyes and distantly remembered that the rats might find her here, lying on the ground, all alone. Kenichi had woken up one morning with one of them sitting on his face. They were everywhere and at night you could hear them crawling through the trenches, overturning the tin cans, squeaking and scuttling and going through their things. Sora-kun had even found a couple of them in his bed, fighting over a chunk of flesh that looked like it had been part of someone's face.

But no matter how she tried, Tenten couldn't make herself care. It felt good to just lie here and watch the beautiful clouds go by…she was so tired…maybe just a little nap…

Tenten squinted and raised a heavy hand to bat away the muddy face above her. "You're blocking my view," she wanted to say but her mouth refused to open. He had big pale eyes, like the clouds above her. Cloud eyes, she wondered. Cloud eyes. Cloud eyes are pretty.

Something touched her face gently and Tenten smiled. It was a nice, warm hand. Cloud eyes and warm hands and…

"Neji," Teten slurred, her thick tongue moving awkwardly around the heavy words. "You have…clou' eyes…pretty…"

The last thing she saw was the pretty cloud in the impossibly blue sky.

"Happy birthday, Neji!"

Neji twitched and all three of them laughed quietly; it was as much embarrassment as he was able to show.

"You'll wake the others," he said lamely but Tenten could see the softness in his eyes and smiled. "Like we haven't already," she teased and pulled out a scroll from behind her back.

"Happy Twentieth, Neji." She gently pressed the grimy and much-abused scroll into his open hands. "It's not much," she said apologetically, "but it's all I could get out here."

"Thank you," he said quietly, turning it over with careful hands.

"A toast to you!" Gai raised his tin cup, filled to the brim with sake stolen from an abandoned home a few miles away, to the skies. "My dear student Neji, you have finally reached your majority! In this magnificent coming of age ceremony, I, Maito Gai, present to you the first cup I have poured—"

"Ai, Gai-sensei, just get on with it!" Tenten laughed, carefully handing Lee a cup of extremely watered down sake. "It's almost time for my watch!"

"But Tenten, this is an extremely important moment! Neji, my Eternally Youthful rival, has finally become an adult! He is a Truly—"

Neji grabbed the cup from Gai's hand and downed it in go.

"Neji!" Gai and Lee gasped in unison.

"It's too dry," Neji frowned. "And I like my sake hot."

"And I need to go on watch," Tenten sighed. She stood up, careful not to dislodge crate of sake, and brushed the dirt and grime off of her standard pants. "Have a good night, guys. Try not to kill each other," she added, eyes twinkling. Gai-sensei gave her a nod and a proud smile and Tenten made her way over to the outpost, the sound of quiet squabbling and whispered kampai! drifting in the air behind her.

"Hyuuga-kun's birthday, huh?" the old guard greeted her from the ground where he was cleaning his ninjato.

"Mm," she answered, setting herself down beside him. "How's the night been so far?"

"Quiet. Not a sound or movement from 'em."

"That's good." Tenten pulled out a scroll from her pocket and unsealed her bo staff. It felt right in her hand, an extension of her arm. "If you get there quick, they might even have some sake left for you," she said, testing the weight and heft of the weapon.

"Will do, Sato-kun." The guard rose up on creaky knees and gave her a quick two-fingered salute. "Have a good watch and keep us safe."

"On my honor." The tree felt solid and comfortable at her back and she watched the guard amble off in direction of the little party, the tiny fire giving off just enough light to make out her teammate's faces. Lee was making wide gestures again, his eyebrows waggling like caterpillars (Tenten hoped he hadn't gotten into the sake again). Neji was trying to ignore him; he was busy nursing another cup of sake Gai-sensei must have poured him.

The firelight illuminated his pale face, the flush that was rising in his cheeks and flickered around his hair like a crown of stars. He was laughing, tin cup pressed against his curled lips, the corners of his eyes crinkling with mirth. He looked…happy.

Oh, Tenten realized suddenly, the breath driven from her chest. I want him to be like this. I want him to be happy all the time, right next to me. I want to hold his hand and jump from the cliff and wake up in the morning next to him and—

Tenten closed her eyes and forced herself to turn away from the scene, towards the enemy camp across the river and the No Man's Land. I want—so much. He was the son of Hyuuga, she the daughter of a poor Tea Country refugee without a penny or a noble name.

But I want—

No. I can't, Tenten knew. I can't. So she tucked away this small hope, and locked it away deep inside her, hoping that in time it would fade away. She sat there in the silence for a long time and watched the enemy with unseeing eyes.

Finally. AN UPDATE. I'm sorry about the very late addition to this monstrous saga (25k+!) but I was kept rather busy due to some personal affairs. Thank you for all your reviews and feedback and most of all, for reading! It means a lot to me and while I was working on this chapter, re-reading your feedback really motivated me to do better work.