Authors Notes: Trying to use my time to try and finish this story (mainly for the sake of Liza before she gets me with her frying pans) This is somewhere between Malucci being fired, but Kim's still around. He was in the first parts but was fired along the way, just because I felt like it Heehee.

Getting tired of all the Carby/Luby stuff taking up all of ER now… grrrr….

Disclaimer: If I had anything to do with ER would I be writing fan fic? Me thinkith not…

Rating: PG-13, 15... look it's not for kiddies at all.

Continuing with the Superman/Kryptonite theme, the title is taken from Kryptonite by Three Doors down. I do not own these lyrics.
This is part of a continuing story. The original can be found on my profile, but the name Kryptonite.

The Dark Side

Waking up from another nightmare, Kerry painfully rolled over onto her side. Gasping slightly in pain, she looked around, blinking away the blur she met the gaze of Elizabeth Corday who sat in a chair by the side of her bed.

It was still dark and the clock blinked 3.00 at her.

Elizabeth didn't move, she continued to sit in the chair, her hands clasped in front of her face, like the bad guy from a James Bond film, all she needed was a fluffy cat and a henchman and she was away.

Kerry tried to move again but nothing happened, instead pain shot through her body like lightning, strike after strike.

Elizabeth didn't move, she continued to sit and watch as Kerry screamed and cried in pain.

Elizabeth left her for a few minutes, watching the small red head writhe in pain, tears streaking her face. A part of her sadistically enjoyed watching the woman who had caused her so much pain, suffer. The rest of her knew it was for Kerry's own good.

Kerry felt like death itself had an icy hand wrapped around her body and was crushing her with all his might. She wasn't sure if she was dead or alive, or dying. All she knew was pain itself, trying it's hardest to destroy her, and it was succeeding slowly.

After a few minutes, Elizabeth walked over to Kerry, injecting a small amount of morphine into her. Waiting a few seconds for it to kick in, she sat on the bed, running her hand through Kerry's hair, trying to calm her the best she could.

As the pain lessoned, so did the screaming. She looked at Elizabeth like a school child to a teacher with a cane, she had all this power, causing her all this pain, yet she was someone she looked up to, someone she didn't think was capable of causing her this pain.

Through the sobs, Elizabeth began to talk to Kerry.

"It's not nice is it Kerry. Pain. A torture. Don't think I'm torturing you, by all means no, I wouldn't do that. I maybe cold hearted but I'm not Satan Kerry…"

'That's your job' Elizabeth added mentally.

"I'm not doing this to you, you are… You're torturing yourself Kerry"

Kerry turned away, her teary eyes searching for light at the window that was not to arrive for hours.

"Kerry if you continue to drink and torture yourself like you have been doing, this is what it will be like everyday, before your body finally gives out, you will be left to die alone Kerry, here. In the greatest pain you'll ever know"

"Maybe that's what I want"

"Is it?"

"You think I like living like this, hell, it isn't even living, it's existing. Every day is struggle to even remind myself to breathe, because it's simply not worth it anymore"

Every thought or idea Elizabeth had ever had of Kerry had just been shattered by what had just been said. Elizabeth realised that Kerry wasn't who she thought she was. Under all the pain, all the anger, she was still a human who was dealing with something that was beyond her own treating. She understood to a point the pain, but she never realised that Kerry, the Kerry Weaver she had known for these past years, was giving up on life. Elizabeth had seen Kerry as someone who would live forever out of spite, as dark humour to piss people off for centuries. In actual fact Kerry was a human being, with feelings, who couldn't see living past next week.

Words continued their endless dance out of Kerry's mouth.

"Elizabeth I'm broken now, I'm damaged even more that I was before. And you think this makes living easy? You think I can live like this? Knowing that he's broken me, knowing that I'll never be the same. Once I believed maybe it was possible to live on, like nothing had happened. Live life, and beat that son of a bitch who had done this, out of spite, just continue to live, move on. But it hurts. It's hard not to when every waking and sleeping moment is full of him. Of a constant reminder of who I once was and why I'm not her anymore. I thought once it would all be okay, not anymore, because I'm always gonna be under his control. I'm always gonna be scarred by him. Branded. Anything I ever was is now his" She looked to Elizabeth.

"You don't understand? You couldn't"

"I can't begin to understand this Kerry, I can't pretend to know, all I can do is listen and start to understand. If you'll let me. I want to help you; I want to help you to live again"

Kerry laughed softly "I don't think I can, honestly, I don't think I want to"

The morning turned to afternoon.

Elizabeth made small progress with Kerry, establishing a ground for Kerry to trust her on. They talked for what seemed eternity but in reality, the time had slipped away with ease for only a few hours.

After a long conversation, Elizabeth managed to coax Kerry to the kitchen for something to eat. Rooting around in her cupboards and fridge, Elizabeth began fixing a large meal in between talking to Mark on the phone. At some point Mark must have held the phone to Ella, as Kerry noted the change to Elizabeth's tone and language, either that or Mark was into something very disturbing. As Elizabeth continued cooing down the phone, Kerry took the opportunity to slip into the bathroom.

Staring into the large mirror, she sighed. How she hated the reflection that stared back, a figure in the shadow of death. An icy hand looming over he shoulder waiting for the moment to reach out and snatch her away from the waking world.

She welcomed the peace the prospect brought, painless and quiet. But in her heart, she feared death the most.

It was a constant companion throughout her lonely misery. Something trying to coax her away, always waiting, always teasing, always tempting. 

She stared at the hallucination of death for a few moments, before turning away, to disgusted to look at it anymore. To disgusted to think that death was waiting.

Death's hand hovered over her head and a glimpse of death racked her mind.

The still and darkness of the place was un-nerving. The feeling of loneliness and nothingness. She stepped back, the feelings leaving her mind.

"Kerry?"

"I'll be right out"

Stepping out the door, Kerry turned back to see death watching her. She smiled. Something in her head clicked.

"Not today" she smiled. She was giving in today, or tomorrow, or the day after. She closed the door to death stamping his foot in frustration.

Walking in the kitchen, Elizabeth greeted her, placing two plates on the table.

Sitting down to the table, Kerry began to speak. And didn't stop until her mind was clear and her heart was open.
She didn't want to go with death, she wanted to live.

The day was slow but busy. Time dragged on like an anchor weighing the hands of the clock down.

Watching the hands tick slowly on, Kerry counted down the seconds till she was off shift. 15 Seconds…14…13…12…

The ambulance bay doors swung open to reveal two fire-fighter's wheeling a gurney.
Looking around, Kerry groaned.
Absolutely typical She thought as she approached.

"17 year old female, goes by the name of Doobie" Kerry rolled her eyes "fell off a wall and got stuck in some railings in the park, mainly bruises and cuts, but was too stoned to stand up"
Rolling into trauma one Doobie looked up "Hey, you steal my joint?"

"Yeah, I'm having it for Sunday dinner" Kerry deadpanned.
The fire fighter laughed, no one else in the room seemed to get the joke. Doobie crashed back out onto the gurney while Kerry handed the rigging back to the fire fighter who Kerry only just noticed was female. Blushing slightly, Kerry smiled.

"Thanks doc" She smiled.

"Anytime uh… didn't catch your name?"

"Cause I didn't throw it… Lopez… Sandy Lopez"

"Sandy" She liked the way it purred off her tongue "Kerry Weaver" They shook hands and Kerry turned back to the patient.

"Before I leave doc… uhh… tell me if I'm off base her… but…"

Kerry suddenly liked living even more.

Being attacked is one of the hardest things life can throw at you. Recovering can be even harder.
There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel and someone there to help you through. You can survive and thousands are living proof of this.
Life is worth living, don't let attacker's take that away from you.
Life is about living and after attack's life can continue with the right help and support. You are not alone.
For all the attack and rape victims of the world, this is for you, because life can still be lived.