|Maybe This Time
Author: Synnerxx PM
With Lem, it feels good. It feels right.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Drama - Shane V. & C. Lemansky - Words: 1,124 - Published: 12-12-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7632109
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Warning: Non-explicit sex
Notes: Dedicated to Disturbinglynic for fangirling with me over Twitter. 3
Prompt: Unguarded touch
When Lem looks up at him, eyes wide and too blue, Shane can read every emotion that Lem feels. He sees the lust, the impatience, the contentment. It makes his breath catch because he can also see the love, the love Lem has for him.
Shane almost doesn't want to touch him, doesn't want to stain him because, even though Lem is a part of the team just as deep as he is, there's still something about Lem, something gentle and kind that Shane doesn't deserve.
Shane leans down and kisses Lem, slower, softer than before. Lem is surprised for a moment, but he trusts Shane, maybe a little too much, and so he arches into Shane and whimpers into his mouth. When they're like this, alone and bare, Lem doesn't have any of his walls up. The walls he puts up every day to deal with the streets, to deal with Vic. They vanish under Shane's touch.
It's not like they're very hard to knock down, Shane tells himself. Lem's always been softer than the others. Sure, he can be an asshole, but never like the other three could be. Shane doesn't understand why Lem trusts him like this and why he does it so easily.
Shane certainly doesn't let Lem in all the way. He doesn't let his walls tumble down, not completely. He knows Lem can feel that, but it doesn't matter. There's nothing between them except friendship and quick fucks in Lem's house, in his bed.
If it were Shane that chose the place, he would never take Lem to his own bed. He'd rent a sleazy motel room for the night and take Lem there. There's something too personal about fucking someone in your own bed. It implies too much for Shane's liking, but Lem obviously has no problem with it.
He isn't sure if Lem just doesn't care or if it's because it's Shane sharing the bed with him. He tries not to think too hard about this because both of them imply things that he doesn't like and doesn't want to confront, so he buries himself in Lem and pushes those thoughts away.
Lem's groaning and panting beneath him and Shane is so close and it's so good, Lem's so good, and he's there, shuddering against Lem as Lem soaks up his own afterglow. He pants against Lem's neck, making Lem shiver.
Feeling Lem shake like that stirs something in him. He presses soft kisses to the side of Lem's neck moving upward to his jaw. Lem makes a startled sound, but doesn't protest, so Shane catches his mouth, licking his way inside.
His fingers splay out along Lem's cheek, the other hand tangling in Lem's hair. Lem whines softly when Shane tugs on his hair to tilt his head up more. He tries to make the kiss rougher, dirtier like they usually are, but Shane keeps it soft and slow.
Lem strokes his back before sliding up and curling his palms around the sides of his neck. Shane pulls away slowly, as if he doesn't want to quit kissing Lem. Lem's confused, he can see it in his eyes. Shane doesn't offer up any explanation, just leans back down and kisses Lem again.
Lem breaks the kiss this time. Shane makes to kiss him once again, but Lem turns his head away. Shane frowns down at him and then pulls away from Lem completely, no longer wanting to touch him. He gets out of bed while Lem pushes himself up on his elbows.
"Shane?" Lem's voice is a hoarse whisper, but it seems so much louder in the silence of the room.
Shane ignores him and pulls on his jeans, looking around for his shirt.
"Shane, what's wrong?" Lem asks again, getting to his feet and slipping his boxers on.
Shane finishes buttoning his shirt and sits down on the edge of the bed to pull his socks and boots on. He doesn't answer Lem.
He gets to his feet and walks past Lem, who reaches out and grabs his wrist. "Come on, man. Don't be pissed."
"Let go." Shane growls.
Startled, Lem drops Shane's wrist and Shane makes his way to the front door. Just as he's about to open it, Lem catches up to him and pulls him back from him. Shane jerks his arm away from Lem and turns him around, gripping his shoulders too tight, and slams Lem against the front door so hard Lem winces in pain.
"What are you doing to me?" Shane asks, a note of desperation in his voice.
"What are you talking about?" Lem frowns in confusion, grimacing when Shane's fingers dig even harder into his skin. There will be bruises tomorrow.
Shane can't put it into words, can't tell Lem how much he wants to let Lem in, wants to let him in more than he's ever let anyone else in before. It's stupid because it's Lem, his best friend, his partner.
He makes a frustrated noise and kisses Lem hard, teeth sinking into Lem's bottom lip hard enough that he tastes blood and Lem whimpers in pain, but he doesn't try to break the kiss. He lets Shane press him harder into the wood of his door, hands sliding down his arms to lace their fingers together. Shane holds on too hard and Lem's very bones ache with Shane's grip, but he doesn't say anything, just lets Shane get it out of his system.
Shane pulls away suddenly, making Lem almost fall. Lem leans against the door, panting, staring at Shane with those too blue eyes and Shane can't stop himself anymore.
He reaches up and wipes the blood away from Lem's swollen mouth. He pulls Lem into another kiss, this one chaste and short, careful of the bite mark.
Lem looks at him with worried eyes. "Are you okay?"
Shane slides his fingers down over Lem's ribs, pressing against each rib he can feel, mentally counting them before he answers. "I will be."
He knows Lem doesn't quite understand him, but he accepts it.
This time, when he kisses Lem, all his walls are down and he's defenseless for the first time in a long time. With Lem, it feels good. It feels right.