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NonUnderstandable
Author:
SirenAlpha PM
America has some pretty obvious stereotypes that have made it into Hetalia, but there are other sections of America that are missing. This is just to fill in America's non-understandable gaps. Focuses on non-idiot!America mostly
Rated: Fiction T - English - America - Chapters: 36 - Words: 27,401 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 167 - Updated: 03-24-13 - Published: 12-17-11 - id: 7646193
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It has been a year since I took the AP US History test. In honor of that, and the countless number of students that took the 2012 AP United States History Test, I wrote this. It's another dialogue drabble (they are unexpectedly amusing to write) this time over the phone. This is probably not as serious as it should be.


"England, I'm going to die,"

"No, I'm certain you won't. The last time you said that you had only lost a fingernail,"

"Hey, you're making it out to be a lot less painful than it was,"

"Oh yes, how terrible of me, losing a fingernail is, of course, the most horrendous wound in the universe,"

"Quit it, this is different,"

"Have you lost a toenail perhaps?"

"No! I have a test tomorrow!"

"You're calling me…about a test?"

"Yes,"

"You're going to die of a test?"

"Yes, and the studying that comes with it,"

"How difficult could that possibly be?"

"It's calculus,"

"You are on your own,"


"You hung up on me. You hung up on me!"

"Calm down, I can't help you with calc. Go call Japan or Germany."

"It's not the calc that's the problem, it's the studying. This test is driving me insane!"

"And I'm supposed to help how?"

"I don't know! I just called you, you always have answers for crap like this,"

"Ha, I wish. My bosses have never done much to improve my scholarly nature,"

"What are you talking about? You've got Oxford, and you read all those books all the time,"

"That doesn't make me scholarly,"

"Whatever, it doesn't matter right now!"

"Calm down America. Just take in a deep breath and let it out,"

"Heee hoooo,"

"What was that? I told you to breathe, not hyperventilate,"

"Sorry the phone was a bit close to my mouth. You're rolling your eyes now, aren't you?"

"I would never. Now, when's your test?"

"In two days,"

"That's plenty of time, what are you worrying about?"

"I'm not worried! And that's not plenty of time!"

"Relax, working yourself up won't help anything,"

"Says who?"

"Me, your ever wonderful voice of reason,"

"Since when?"

"…Never, but do you want my help or not?"

"Yes,"

"Alright, the first thing you need to do is take a break for an hour,"

"What? That won't help at all!"

"Yes, it will. Your brain needs rest. Working it constantly won't help you. You're more likely to remember if you take a break,"

"Fine, but the time is starting from when I called you,"

"Perfectly acceptable, what time is it where you are?"

"It's getting close to seven,"

"Eat dinner then. You shouldn't forgo food, especially on the morning of the test,"

"Anything else?"

"Don't cram, take your time to remember everything. Also, tomorrow night go to bed early. It's more important you sleep than try to cram in more things you might not even remember come morning,"

"Alright, I'll do it."

"Good, is there anything else you want?"

"No, I'm just gonna make dinner,"

"Very well, and America?"

"What?"

"You'll do fine. Don't stress so much. You're bound to cheat and use your people's abilities anyways,"

"Thank you for that amazing vote of confidence,"

"I'm just doing my job,"

"I'm calling Japan next time,"

"I told you,"

"Quit with the evil laugh it's freakin' me out,"

"Good night America,"

"Hey, wait, why are you up so late?"


I hope you enjoyed. The advice given is all advice I have received, and I'm certain a number of Americans have felt the intense stress of studying for a test that you really do not want to fail. I hope that anyone who has taken the test today feels that they did well, and that they are feelling especially hetalia filled. That's how I felt when I took it.

Anyways, please review!

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