Title: "sexy and she knows it"
Fandom: Naruto Non-massacre Universe
Genre: Romance, Humor
Pairing: Kakashi/OC
A/N: Well, my first story written in English. I'm not a native speaker, so feel free to note me about any mistakes (I'm sure you'll find some). Read and review!

Summary: Kakashi was never one to be easily surprised. But this situation left him completely, utterly speechless and stunned.

To say that Kakashi was tired would be an understatement. He felt totally and absolutely used up.

His and two other ANBU squads had just returned from two years long mission in Suna-gakure on which they were, with Kazekage and his people, dealing with some problems on the Wind Country's North border. His team was told to infiltrate and then report the results to both Kazekage and Hokage. It was exhaustive and boring as hell and the last thing he wanted, not even an hour after coming back and handing said report to the Hokage, was to go to the pub to drink. Not because he was some creepy teetotaler or something of that sort. In fact Kakashi was often the one who offered this kind of relaxation after longer missions, but it was one of those few days in his life, when he wanted nothing more than to lie down on his couch in his home with mug full of steaming tea and just be alone. Without the company of any noisy people. Well, not that Neji and Shikamaru were anywhere near being noisy – they actually were experts in silent behaviour – but Kakashi unfortunately knew more people and some of them were even above the level of noisiness that Genma provide him with on their missions.

But his teammates, especially Genma, had other plans and they literally dragged him all the way to one of Konoha's most famous shinobi pubs to "celebrate their reunion with Leaf", whatever it meant. In Kakashi's ears it sounded like a lame excuse.

"Kaka-sensei! So nice to finally see you!" Someone shouted it so loud that Kakashi wouldn't be overly surprised if the whole village heard him. Too bad his poor ears were definitely too close to said person's mouth.

He was not amused. Not even a tiny bit amused by the fact that they collide with Team 7 on their way in. And his ear drums were not amused as well.

"I can't say the same, Naruto," he grunted under his breath, trying very hard not to wince, when Sakura, who was there as well as Sasuke and Sai, hugged him so tight he wasn't sure she hadn't broken his ribs. Now he couldn't tell what was worst – being dragged there against his will, having his ear drums harassed by the future Hokage or being casseroled by the petite pink-haired girl and his ex-student in one person.
She eventually pulled away, but was still intruding his personal space too much to his liking. Sasuke just patted him awkwardly on the shoulder and Sai smiled one of his rare genuine smiles. Probably for the first time ever he was truly grateful those two were so socially retarded.

Sai was an ex Root ANBU operative, but the lack of Sasuke's social skills was truly a wonder. Having charming Mikoto as a mother and a twin sister as talkative and flirtatious as Hana, he should be a true charmer. But then again he was also related to Itachi (whose personality was so deep inside him that was probably no-existing anymore) and Fugaku who was the gloomiest man Kakashi ever met and it was saying something.

"How was your mission?" Sakura asked, stepping back a little. "Shishou told me its top secret or something, but I don't want any details, really. And besides you aren't injured, are you?"

And so it begins. This one question was making him sick every time it had been asked and Sakura made a point to always ask it, even in public, and sometimes he wondered, who exactly was older and whose superior here?

"I'm fine," he said, smiling a little to make here less suspicious. Truth be told he was injured, but it was nothing serious – just some minor scuffs and such - but he was sure she would still make a fuss about it if she found out. It was better to be quiet and deal with it on his own.

"I hope you're not lying to me." The look she shot him was not nice. Haruno Sakura was a scary woman at times.

"This idea never really crossed my mind."

"You're such a lame liar, sensei..."

"In your opinion only."

"Oh, really? The last time I checked-"

" Are you two finished?" Shikamaru interrupted her mild-sentence, clearly annoyed. Neji just glared at no one and nothing in particular, but Kakashi knew him too well – had known him for the long time as his team captain – and the Hyuuga also wanted this pointless conversation to end. Probably even as much as Kakashi. Don't get him wrong - he loved his old team and was fond of them, but at times their presence was too overwhelming and this was one of them.

"Oh, sorry for that, boys. We'll be going now." Sakura smiled sweetly, grabbed her boys (Sasuke and Naruto that is) and walked away, shouting a goodnight's their way. Sai was looking at his friends for a long time without moving or blinking, which was kind of freakish, but then he just shrugged and followed them with hilarious expression of wonder on his face.

"They're strange." Neji, as always, was reading their minds.

"But little Sakura is a pretty little thing, don't you think?" Genma had one of his not so pleasant, perverted smiles on his face and Kakashi's eye narrowed on instance. No way in hell was Shiranui going to talk like that about his little girl (screw that she was not his and most definitely not a little girl in the noble age of 20).

"Take it easy, Hatake. Man, you're no fun, I swear..." Brown haired jounin rolled his eyes and get inside the pub without another word, much to Kakashi's relieve. He really liked Genma and killing him because his thoughts were getting dirty again would be a true waste of a good soldier. Not the most intelligent one, but good.

Three of them followed suit and soon were surrounded by the thick, silver smoke and the unpleasant smell of digested alcohol and cigarettes. Ninjas around them were surly enjoying themselves and his comrades did the same, disappearing in the crowd in the instant, so soon he was left alone in the middle of this smelly mess. Oh, how he wanted to be home right now!

And then he spotted a familiar raven hair. And an even more familiar shirt with red-and-white fan in the middle of the back side. Uchiha. Judging by the length of the hair it was either Itachi or one of his cousins. Well, Uchihas were questionably good companions, but Kakashi was Itachi's friend and as such was treated by them better than the average person or shinobi. Itachi was a heir, after all.

He forced his way through the mass of drunken people and approached this mysterious Uchiha person.

"Yo," he said, sitting on the free stool on said person's left side.

Kakashi was never one to be easily surprised. If he prided himself on one thing (besides being a good shinobi, of course) it was the fact that he always knew about everything that was happening around him. But this situation left him completely, utterly speechless and stunned to the point of almost having a heart attack.

Because on the stool on his left was no one other than Uchiha Hana in all her glory. How could he even mistake her for her older brother? Yes, she was wearing a clan shirt a way too big for her, but still it was obvious that under this dark material was a very feminine body.
And if he thought she was too beautiful to handle two years ago, she was the most enchanting creature in the entire universe right now. With shiny long hair, sparkling dark eyes and the body to kill for, she was a walking desire.

'Stop it, Hatake! Stop it right now. She's Sasuke's sister. Twin sister, for Kami's sake!' He chastened himself while still not being able to tear his eyes off of her. 'You're her superior! A 14-years older superior! Holy shit, there are rules forbidding you to look at her like that! Aren't they?'

In the same time she eyed him up with those oh-so-pretty obsidian eyes of hers and smiled playfully.

"Yo to you too, Kakashi-san."

Screw any rules (if there were any at all). She was 20 now. A woman, not a little girl. And being an Uchiha she could handle herself.

"What is a stunning lady like yourself doing in the place like that?" he asked lightly, swivelling a shot of sake in one hand and gesturing at their messy location with the other.

"Drinking a good, old whiskey with cola and boring myself to death," she responded, sipping her drink. "And what, pray tell, is a supposedly good looking male like yourself doing next to my stunning self?"

"'Supposedly'?" His eyebrow was somewhere near his hair line right now.

" Well, no one actually saw your face and live long enough to tell the tale." She shrugged nonchalantly.

"Your brother did."

They both knew he was referring to Itachi.

"Maybe, but my brother is not a very talkative man. He's also your friend, so he didn't tell anyone and therefore he is keeping this secret all to himself."

"What a good friend he is."

She giggled.

"If that's the problem, then you should know that I'm handsome. Not like your brothers and cousins – I don't have your perfect genes – but I'm not all that much worst."

"Until I'll see for myself 'supposedly' stays where it is," she told him with this damned Uchiha poker face.

In a way she was really similar to her brothers. Especially when it comes to hiding her emotions and this unique ability to change her face expressions really fast. But at the same time she was so much more spontaneous, warm and happy! He found out that he truly missed her, even if before she was only a good colleague and a friend's little sister for him. Kakashi couldn't place, what changed now, because something has definitely changed about them.

She has finished her drink and paid the bill. Then she stood up and smiled at him with sparkles in her eyes.

" I need to go. I promised Sasuke that I'll finish my drink and head back home, you see." Her eyes warmed up when she mentioned her twin. "They're so overprotective and worried about me all the time – him and Itachi, I mean. It's so sweet in a sick kind of way."

He actually chuckled at that.

"Oh, I'm sure they are."

She blushed for the first time this evening and Kakashi found it oddly cute.

"Well," she cleared her throat "if I told them I'm going on a date with you, they should be okay."

It was his turn to blush. Was she serious? On a date? With an old scarecrow like him?

"Pick me up at seven. That's when my shift in the hospital is over." Then she kissed him lightly on the lips and turn around, so she could get out of here. He was in a trace and couldn't bring himself to say or do anything but stare at her graceful slender body that disappeared a moment later in the crowd.

The way she moves told him two things – 1) she was sexy and 2) she knew about it very well.

He took a sip of his sake and smiled a little under the mask. He was not so tired anymore.