Author: needsmoreicing PM
We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person. -Somerset Maugham. Winner of Best Caitlyn and Best Angst in the Indie Camp Rock Awards.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Jason & Caitlyn G. - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,081 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 07-15-12 - Published: 12-22-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7662486
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
He didn't deserve to be here, on this hospital bed. Not during his favorite season. Never on his favorite holiday, especially when it was his birthday too.
"It's almost midnight Caity, it's almost there." He wheezes, squeezing her hand tightly. The little timer next to his bed had the clock at two minutes until the ball drop. The heart-monitor gives another beep and she just closes her eyes before blinking back her tears. "I'm going to make it, I don't have a choice." Jason's voice sounds oddly strangled. She goes to wipe the tears from his cheeks, but he holds her hand on his face and kisses her wrist. It feels almost alien when the scruff from his face scratches her inner arm, she'd never known him to have facial hair. She traces her thumb across his face, taking in the feeling of his skin on hers.
His brown eyes search her face, looking for signs that she would run. She had done that before, but things were different now that they were older. She wasn't Caitlyn Gellar any more, that changed on their wedding day. He was still the same Jason, maybe more mature and weathered by what life had handed him, but he still took joy in the simple things; like his brother's sneaking in fresh blueberry muffins for him.
She meets his gaze unwaveringly and kisses the would-have-been crows feet next to his eyes. They were the only sign of the real life he lead. All of his laughter and smiles, plots, and cheeky grins. She smiles lovingly, squeezing his hand back. They hear the crowd outside start the count down outside.
She scoots closer to him, eventually crawling into the bed to be next to him.
He wraps his arms around her, just like old times. In reality, Jason is terrified that she'll let go and leave him. But she holds him close, and he knows better.
She leans her head on to his chest, listening to his heart beat and his killer. How could something so special be killing her husband? Caitlyn had tried endlessly to understand, but even still she can't bring herself to accept the possible ending.
Jason wanted to hold on to his heart for one more year. Even as things progressed, got worse, and became painful, Jason stubbornly clung to one. more. year. Doctor's would remind him that matching organs didn't come around everyday. His brother's would call him foolish. Never Caity, she understood as best as she could.
"Not to much longer now."
"No, I guess not." He feels the dampness from her tears, and his heart kills him even just the slightest bit more.
"You better make it, Birdman. What am I supposed to do with out you?"
"You'll be Caity."
Their lips touched and they could both hear the heart-monitor going crazy in the background. She felt happy, like she wasn't spending one of the most important days of their lives in a hospital. He would say the same, if he could read her mind.
Tomorrow, correction... today he'd receive a new heart. One that would love Caitlyn even more than his old one could. Beat even faster at her touch and still carry on. Everything was perfect for that one moment.
Until he flat lined.
Nurses swoop in, yanking Caity away from her life-line, wheeling him down the halls and yelling orders. She closes her eyes and takes a shaky breath.
She places a hand on her stomach, making slow circles with her thumb. "It'll be okay. Daddy will come back. I know it." She barely makes it to a chair before breaking down in tears.
We're just counting the seconds until he comes back to us.