|No Matter the Distance
Author: thebeatlesthighs PM
"No matter the distance between us two, you always have me and I always have you."Rated: Fiction K - English - Romance/Friendship - S. Reid & Jennifer J./JJ - Words: 2,666 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12-30-11 - Status: Complete - id: 7692474
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: New story up this time and a one-shot! Warning: This story has little dialouge. Mostly thoughts from JJ and Reid.
The BAU team belongs to CBS and my imagination.
No Matter the Distance
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves. -William Shakespeare-
I had read the case file for the fiftieth time that night. The lights from the hall flooded into my office. I looked at the clock on the wall. I cringed at the time. 12:34 a.m. I bet Hotch doesn't stay here THIS late! but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to leave. I had about 20 more cases to read through and a decision of where the team would go tomor-today, and I wanted to make sure I was making the right decision.
For six months I had been back at the BAU. Strauss isn't too happy about it, I'm sure, but this is where I belong; with my family. All of them. Hotch, with his brooding looks, hard to crack smile, and pure sex appeal, if you're into that kind of thing. Morgan, with his easy flirting and smooth talking. Emily and her beautiful hair, and lovely smile. Penelope, whose existence makes everyone feel more optimistic in their lives. Rossi, whose notebook writing and fame makes him seem mysterious and doesn't hurt his physicality any.
Then there's Reid. Spence, my baby boy. For some reason, I had this affection for the young genius. He has the most perfect smile, the sexiest lips, his random statistics make my heart pound in my chest, and his hazel eyes pull me in. I don't know when these feelings started really. I mean, I'm living with Will, I love Will. We're together, raising our son. So why do I want Spencer so bad? He's like a brother to me, a kid friend that you hang out with because your parents work together. Someone you play with at recess but are a 'big kid' to them.
Yes, he's Henry's godfather and has proven more than once that he has fathering capabilities. One day, he'll make some woman very happy and make some babies very smart. But for some reason, I feel jealousy for that faceless, nameless woman. I feel envy for the children that will inherit his eyes, his smile, his brain. I am sad that he doesn't understand that I want that for myself. I do? Where did that thought come from? Maybe if I go home, and sleep it off, I'll not be thinking such things.
I had read ten books, watched a full-length movie, taken a bubble bath, a shower and organized my Dr. Who films four times and still I was no closer to sleep than I was 6 hours ago. I had gotten home from a rather gruesome case and was mentally exhausted. But still, my mind churned and thought. It wouldn't stop working. So I got out a photo album that my mom had made for me for my 30th birthday. God, I'm 30, still single, still renting an apartment in Van Ness, driving a '65 Volvo Amazon and the closest person to me is my Schizophrenic mother. The pictures I had sent her in my daily letter of the team. Some were just of one person, of all of us, of a couple. Most were of me with someone else. And most frequently the someone else was our Communications Liaison, Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau.
Her smile was always brighter, standing next to me. Her posture more relaxed, holding my hand. Her eyes brighter, looking at me. Her laugh honest, reacting from a joke I had told. This was the real JJ. The Jayje that didn't force herself to be someone else. The Jayje that she was away from home, away from her other job. Her Henry.
Sure, I loved Henry. He was my godson but for some reason, I wanted him to be MY son. Not Wills. Henry was at the age that he knew who people were, what their relationships were with him and other people, and how often he saw those said people. He saw me at least once every week, whether Will wanted it or not. JJ would always open the door to reveal a gorgeous smile on her face; genuine and pure. I'd enter the living room, and Henry would put down whatever he was doing and run to me. His small arms would wind around my thighs and hold on tight. I'd laugh at him and stroke his head. Will would force a smile onto his face. I knew why. It was because his son greeted me with more happiness then he did his own father.
Not that I blame him. I'm a profiler. I see things. I know that he and JJ have been having problems. I know that they probably go to bed angry at each other, one of them sleeping on the couch. I couldn't help but feel anger for JJ. She had to put up with that because she was trying to make them a family. I felt sympathy for Henry. He thought all of their arguments were his fault. They weren't and I'm sure JJ reassured him they weren't.
JJ. My beautiful JJ. What I wouldn't do to move Heaven and Earth for her. What I wouldn't say to make her leave Will and run into the arms that have always been open, always been waiting for her.
This case was bad. Not only was the case bad but Henry was in the ER. He had a seizure and Will said that was normal. We were in Kansas of all places to be, in the middle of Tornado Alley, and my son was sick. He needed me and I couldn't be there for him. I was starting to realize that being in the BAU takes a toll on the family aspect of our lives.
Hotch lost his wife, marriage wise and life wise. He had his sister-in-law stay with Jack while he was away and generally got home after Jack was in bed. Rossi has been married three times, his first wife killing herself in front of him. His son died in birth. Emily 'died' trying to protect the only family she had, Declan. Morgan's cousin was killed by a serial killer and the thought that he's still out there stops him from getting into any type of serious relationships. Garcia and Kevin were going strong, but her world is rocked by our demands and her horror filled screens, day after day. And Reid. His mother is a Paranoid Schizophrenic, and he tries everyday to make up for not seeing her by writing her a letter every day.
This job really screws with your emotions, your thoughts, your actions and you life. Damn, this job.
You know, sometimes I wish I had stayed at the Pentagon. But then, if I had, I wouldn't see Dr. Reid all day. I wouldn't be able to revel in his random statistic blurting and his innocence at jokes that are made. Sometimes, I wish Spencer was Henry's dad. He'd be good with Henry, I'm sure of it. He's already real good with him as his godfather. Henry's eyes light up when Spencer comes over. Henry wants 'Pencer' to take him to day care, get ice cream, go to movies, see the fishies in the aquarium with him, read his bedtime story to him and Spence happily meets all his demands and so much more.
When Will's not around, Spence makes Henry dinner, draws pictures with him, gives him baths, gives into Henry's tickle torture, takes him on walks, pushes his swing higher. Will never does any of that. Why can't Will be perfect, like Spencer?
I'm sitting on the hood of my Volvo Amazon, looking towards the Heavens. I look for constellations and map them in my head. Being a Virgo, in more ways then one, I have a cool exterior with a sensitive interior. I have tremendous respect for women and I treat them like my equal. I've never had much experience with women, but I do think that anything a man can do, so can a woman.
I'm very reluctant to express my emotions; I'm quiet, reserved. My psyche is easily bruised and my ego no so easy to inflate. Actually, I have been told on more than one occasion I have no ego. I want a classy woman who is not impulsive, a predictable woman who makes me feel safe. That fits JJ to a 'T'. She's classy, but she's not impulsive. Being with her makes me feel safe. Just seeing her, I know I'm in good hands and that under no circumstances will I be harmed. She's so good with Henry. With any kids really. She's always been like our 'mother hen' when we're anywhere. She is always gentle and reserved and sympathetic with families, and is never said a harsh word to anyone to my knowledge.
As I map the stars, my cell phone rings. I check the caller I.D. It's JJ of all people. "Hello?" I ask, my voice cracking.
"I was looking outside, at the stars, and realized that I don't know any constellations. Then, in my anger, I Googled constellations and found myself getting even more frustrated at my lack of mapping skills. Then I remembered that I know someone who knows everything there is to know about everything. So now I'm on the phone with him."
"Hello, to you too, JJ."
"So, what are you doing?"
"Looking at the stars, from the hood of my car."
"Really? You're not joshing with me are you?"
"Would I josh with you?"
I heard her giggle. "No, I guess not. Hey, you know something funny?"
"No. I have no sense of humor. What?"
"When I worked for the Pentagon, and you were away, I found a way to comfort myself."
"How did you do that?" I was wondering if 'you' meant me or 'you' meant the team. I wasn't going to ask, of course.
"No matter how far the distance between us two, you always have me and I always have you, and when we look out our windows at night, were looking at the same stars."
A tear escaped from the corner of my eye. "That was nice, Jayje."
"Spence, I miss you."
"You miss me? You just saw me."
"Spence, do you remember when Henry was born and I asked you to be his godfather?"
"I wanted that because you're my best friend. And best friends know things about each other that other people don't."
"Turn around." I heard her voice come from behind me, not the phone's speaker.
There she was, wearing a white sundress, that floated over her body, accentuating her curves in all the right places. There was a smile on her face; she practically glowed from happiness.
"What are you doing here?"
She looked down at the ground and sighed. "I couldn't handle being with Will anymore, Spence. The arguments, the harsh words. Henry was getting confused and lost. So I came to the only person I ever think of."
I furred my brow. "You only ever think of me?"
She rolled her eyes. "Spencer, you're a really bad profiler, you know."
Jayje took four steps towards me and closed the gigantic gap between us. She stopped right in front of me, the top of her head reaching my chin. Her fingers touched my chest, and played with the buttons on my shirt. She loosened my tie a bit and looked up to my face. Azure met Chestnut and I got lost in her fathomless eyes. "Spence, I've been thinking about only you since your birthday six years ago."
"On the only date we ever went on?"
"Yeah. I've seen you be tortured, shot, poisoned with Anthrax, nearly blown up, suffer migraines and a drug addiction. Spencer William Reid, you've been through Hell and back and I don't want that to continue. I want you to find your Heaven, Spence."
I took my index finger and lifted her chin. "I already have," I breathed. I looked down to her lips, pulled her face towards me, and kissed her.
I never could have guessed Spencer would be this good at kissing. I mean, I've kissed plenty of boys in my time but Reid, woo, he was far better than any of them hoped to be. After what seemed like a millennium, we broke apart, breathing slightly heavier than before and Spence wearing a look of pure joy on his face. "You don't know how long I've waited, how much I've longed for you to realize that I've always been right here, JJ. I may not be a sweep-you-off-your-feet kinda guy but I will definitely be by your side and will forever be very loyal to only you. JJ, please, be with me and make me the happiest person on this planet."
"You can't be the happiest person on this planet, because I am." We got into his car, and drove to Van Ness.
I had never been in his apartment before, I didn't even know where it was, but it was just what you'd expect. Clean, organized, refined. Filled with Dr. Who, Star Trek and 15th century literature. He had a small TV in one corner with a love seat and an end table with a lamp on it. There was an eating table, a small gallery kitchen and a bar. A small hallway light revealed three doors. One was open and had a sink in it, the bathroom. The other was slightly ajar and was his bedroom, I guess. The other I would imagine would be his linen closet. Not that I could see Spence having linens. On every surface of his living area, there were pictures of all sizes and ages. Some of the team members, his mom, his graduation from college, his professors, even one of him and his dad taken not long ago.
"Spence, what are we doing here?"
"I'm getting some clothes and a book and then I'm staying with you and Henry for awhile."
"Oh." I wouldn't have asked him to do that, but then again, he knew that. He knew I'd never ask but wouldn't turn it down. I knew I was going to need help with Henry since I kicked out Will. It was late when we got to my place. Rebecca, our neighbor, had stopped by to watch Henry and I woke her up to send her home. Spencer set his things by the couch and was starting to pull out the sofa bed when I stopped him.
"If you're going to be here for a while, you might as well be comfortable. Sleep in my bed."
"Jayje, I'm not letting you sleep on the sofa bed."
"I'm not going to sleep on the sofa bed, Spence. We are going to sleep in the same bed, my dear."
I led him down the hallway, pulling him by his tie, to my room. I used my heeled foot to shut the door.
And that was the end of it.
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." -Emily Dickinson-
A/N Part II: Like? Want a sequel? Read and Review and see what happens!