Author: In The Loft PM
Sirius tries to write a letter to Harry. With interruptions from the rest of the Order of the Phoenix. Good luck Sirius.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Family - Sirius B. & Remus L. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,356 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 12-13-12 - Published: 01-02-12 - id: 7702689
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Well a lot of you asked for Harry's reply, so here it is. Also, I'm not sure – did Gred and Forge ever make the connection between Sirius, Remus, James and the Marauder's Map? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think they did XD Anyway, I took the liberty of creating that moment in here so... Yes. Once more – thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed, and I own nothing.
Normal print is Harry
Italics is Hermione
Bold is Ron
Underlined is Fred/George
Bold/italics is Ginny
Um... And Tonks, Lupin, and Mad Eye, and Mrs Weasley.
I'm fine, Mrs Weasley, and school's going alright. Ron's cool...
You don't trust me at all, do you mother?
Ron, I'm writing a letter to Sirius.
Oh. Sorry mate.
Right. Er... Tell Hestia I hope she gets better soon, and –
What sort of curses could you put on parchment, Mad Eye?
Guys, I'm writing a letter to Sirius... Now you've got me doing it!
Are you sure Sirius wrote this, Harry? It's awfully... Random...
Hi guys! What're you doing?
Urgh. Go away Ginny!
I'm writing a letter to Sirius.
Oh. Hi Sirius.
Hi Sirius, mate. How you holding up? Dumbledore letting you out of the house yet?
I don't think you should be talking about that sort of thing on something that could get so easily intercepted by the Ministry! If they read this then they'll know we know where Padfoot is –
Woah. Padfoot? Are you thinking what I'm thinking Fred?
I am George.
DID YOU WRITE THE MARAUDERS MAP?
Yes, they did. Didn't you know that?
Sirius, Lupin, my dad, and... Someone else.
Lupin wrote the Marauders Map?
Dude you rock!
Wait – your dad wrote...
Excuse us while we pass out from the AWESOME!
I know. My dad's really cool. So were you guys by the way. Urgh, you've distracted me. Right, yeah. Um... Tonks? And Mad Eye? How hard is it to become an Auror? Do you reckon they'd take me on? Cos we've got career advice this year, and that's all I've ever really wanted to be...
Dude you're Harry bloody Potter! They'd take you on even if you had no qualifications!
For once, Ronald has a point.
Anyway! Do you have any advice for me? Because there are so many things I want to do, and –
No one cares Hermione!
Just because you have the ambitions of a teaspoon!
... Will you stop comparing my emotional capacity to that of a teaspoon?
Big words Ron
Are you sure you know what they mean?
GUYS! Sorry Sirius. I don't know why everyone's butting in on me all of a sudden. Right. What next... Oh, right... Um... There's actually something I wanted to discuss with you, Sirius.
Harry! That sounds serious –
We see what you did there, Hermione
... No pun intended. Have you told Ron and me?
Hermione, can you let me finish?
Oh, yes. Sorry.
Thank you... Um. See, Umbridge... Well, Mad Eye was right. She has a cursed quill, and she made me write lines, and now I've got this scar on the back of my hand that says 'I must not tell lies'.
I suggested Essence of Murtlap which helped bring the swelling down
Yeah, you're a super brain Hermione we all know that.
Stop insulting her Ron
We all know you're just covering up for the way your heart skips when she smiles
That was poetic Fred.
No one. Never do it again. It was creepy.
You don't count Ron.
Hey, Harry, did you say mum read this? Right – Mum! See what they do to me?
You're such a wimp Ron
Ahem. This is my letter and I have the right to chuck you out of the common room
Give it a rest, guys.
Hey, Sirius, mate?
We'll take those million galleons.
Read the letter, Ron
... Dude, this is messed up
So Azkaban loosened a few screws?
He's still a genius!
He wrote the Marauders Map!
When you're all quite finished deciding the mental capabilities of my godfather?
Cheers. So... Oh, right, yeah... Er... Cho's good.
Shut up Ron!
It was quite insensitive, Ronald
Blah blah blah
'Ron! Listen to me! I read books!'
I can't hear you over the sound of how insensitive I am, Hermione
... Er... Well I don't know how to come back from that so... Sorry Sirius.
I'll answer, Harry. She's very pretty. And she plays Quidditch.
But her old boyfriend – Cedric Diggory – died last year, so she's very confused about her feelings for Harry.
Guys – this is quite personal, would you mind discussing it OFF A LETTER TO MY GODFATHER?
You have such a cool godfather.
We're so jealous.
Ours is Perkins. Dad's friend from work. It's so not fair!
I'm sure Sirius would want to know, Harry
I'm carrying the conversation back to... slightly more normal territory
Oh. Thanks Hermione.
Okay, next... Um... I'm not jealous about not becoming a prefect or anything. I... I can't really discuss this with Ron and Hermione peering over my shoulder.
Point taken mate.
Harry, Harry, Harry.
Have we taught you nothing?
Er... Pretty much yeah.
Being a prefect is a step towards being Head Boy. Being Head Boy is a step towards working at the Ministry of Magic. Working at the Ministry of Magic makes your sense of humour shrivel and die and your sense of self importance becomes sickeningly large. So you end up dying alone.
Harry won't die alone.
Ron? Just... No.
Ooh Mad Eye! Were you ever in love? That's so sweet!
Ew, no! You're the super cool Auror.
YOU CAN'T HAVE BEEN IN LOVE! YOU CAN'T HAVE BEEN!
One day you will go stupid over a girl (or a boy, I don't judge) and I will LAUGH.
Okay... That was weird.
Can I ask something Harry?
Sure. Because you asked me.
Do the OWL's cover defensive magic? Because we're not learning any! I don't know how Umbridge –
Yes, thank you Ronald. I don't know how she expects us to pass our exams when she's not teaching us how to do defensive magic! Hey...
Uh oh. She's got That Look.
What do you mean That Look, Ronald?
Okay, I better go avert World War Three –
It's a Muggle thing. So, could someone explain it to Sirius as well, please? Anyway, thanks for your letter, and apologies for this one, and... Yeah, see you soon.