|OFU Portal: The 4th Millennium Edition
Author: ASBusinessMagnet PM
Portal: The 4th Millennium franchise: While the ATIC is trying to teach some people something that is virtually unteachable, the twenty S***b players gather for an ultimate meetup. Warning: Includes insulting parodies and serious injuries.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 7,141 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 04-08-12 - Published: 01-05-12 - Status: Complete - id: 7712910
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Official Fanfiction University: Portal: The 4th Millennium Edition
Perhaps the first OFU made by the creator of the original works
The Alternate Timeline Warweary Serket (and never Crocker) looked over the room. Like many others, it was a classroom in Serketpolės High-Tech Gymnasium, numbered 337. It once belonged to his Lithuanian teacher, his classmates, and one hell of mixed (but mostly terrible and hence suppressed) memories. He couldn't start to speak of the abuse of the classmates and the apathy of the school staff, and how he would not be listened to. There were some moments that could be well-remembered, like the Battles of Minds, but not much else, as everything else was terrible and couldn't be fixed.
But today, the 1st of January, 2015c, this would all be forgotten. Now he would be the teacher, and his students would be hurt psychically, and if needed, physically. And there would be no rules to adhere, except the "you will learn or you will die" rule.
He turned on the sound recorder on the teacher's computer, and started speaking. No one would initially hear him, but the recording would become legendary.
"In 2011, Portal: The 4th Millennium franchise got four fan fictions of its own:"
As he said that, he picked up a marker and wrote "Portal: The 4th Millennium franchise" on the top of the blackboard in his hardly readable handwritten letters. He underlined said words, wrote the numbers "Era I: 2008 12 24 - 2011 11 17" and drew three arrows out of the underline.
"TEEN FORTRESS 2," he both said and wrote under one of the arrows, and drew another arrow out of it.
"its fan story Portla 3," he wrote under this newly drawn arrow,
"The Inevitable Sunset: An Impossible Continuation and Official Fanfiction University - Aperture Science Fanfiction Enrichment Seminar." Both again were depicted on the diagram.
In the free space, the Warweary Serket drew four circles in a nice row in the free space. He then proceeded to mark one fourth of the first circles with stripes.
"In 25% of these fan fictions, the villain gets a happy ending."
He then marked a half of the second circle in a similar way.
"50% of the works foolishly misrepresent the Business Magnet's identity."
The third circle had one fourth of it left uncolored, and the rest colored.
"75% of the writings give the source works negative publicity."
And he colored the fourth circle in its entirety.
"And 100% of the people who wrote these fan fictions probably don't even know what Portal: The 4th Millennium franchise is."
He then rest his marker on the words "Official Fanfiction University".
"And that's what I'm going to do. Gather the authors, in the style of Miss Sandman's Official Fanfiction University of Middle-Earth, and, more notably, this idiotic author's excuse to write even fairly good fanfic writers OOC, and get some learning done. Through pain. And it will be fun."
Just then, the Warweary Serket heard the door opening, and stopped the recording. Looking at the door, he saw his wife Vriska, and no, that wasn't a random human female who renamed herself "Vriska Serket" out of huge fandom for Andrew Hussie and MS Paint Adventures, that was the real deal, being raised in a planet in a galaxy 2.5 million light-years away and playing a reality-manipulating game with her eleven friends and ending up stashing the Milky Way in a very precise way which led to Portal: The 4th Millennium franchise which then was proceeded to be fucked up by a certain half-world ruler and re-made into The Corrupted Timeline which makes its years preceded with a "c" and which features this very certain 99.9% canon character.
And then something happened with people not talking:
- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling alterntetimeline Warwearyserket [AW] -
AG: Got anything to say?
AW: Especially not if you say one of your eights
AW: Now, I'm disappointed that you walked in at all
AG: Why should you 8e?
AW: Don't ask me
AG: Okaaaaaaaay, if you say so... ... ..
- alterntetimeline Warwearyserket [AW] ceased being trolled by arachnidsGrip [AG] -
And then Vriska walked out, and everything went back to the "normal" state of "I will get revenge".
"Let's have a conversation that will make more effect on the future."
The new teacher then took a cool and awesome mobile phone that was obviously alchemized through the processes of Sburb 1.0 and dialed the Aperture Science Chronological Accuracy Department.
"Hello? I need to bring four people into this classroom, 337 of Serketpolės High-Tech Gymnasium, January 1, 2015. Said people are: MarissaTheWriter, Arrow-Awesome, irenicPie and katzsoa. Okay? Bye."
And meanwhile, in the aerial territory of City of Serketpolė, a Pyralspite-like car with a coolkid and a blind alien girl inside flew through and attempted a land.
Author's idiotisms: Basically, this will be two stories one on top of another: the OFU and the meetup. You can follow whichever one you want, or both of them, or none of them.
Post-Emptive Author's Idiotisms: Note this chapter was revised on February 25, 2012.