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Episode Parodies
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Updated weekly, or whenever the new episodes come on. This week, Anakin Mistakes his Friend for his Enemy in a Box ! Rated K plus just to be on the safe side.
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Anakin S. & Ahsoka T. - Chapters: 4 - Words: 20,234 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 02-28-12 - Published: 01-08-12 - id: 7721656
A+  A-   Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten

Yeep! Sorry guys! *grimace* I got Jimmy (my beloved computer) taken away for an entire MONTH, along with Amanda (my less-than-Jimmy-but-still-substantially-beloved iPod touch, on whom I am capable of slowly typing out chapters with that darned touch keyboard thigy). But apparently I'm allowed to post this, and I'm finally doing it. I'm almost done with the next parody, too. After that, I'll get on massacre –spoiler- which will probably involve Anakin because I wasn't crazy about the rest of the plot, zombies and all. *sigh* I MISS YOU SWA, AHSOKA AND PINK! D: All of you girls on TLF…

This week's parody-Anakin Mistakes his Friend for his Enemy (in a Box)! Yeah, I'm wrapping both of them into one, plus I pretty much blew off The Box :P

"Keep your friends close and run away from your enemies as fast as you possibly can."

Fugitives on the run! Disguised as a guy named Rake, Obi-Wan Kenobi (now Rake-Wan Kenobi) works undercover to solve a Separatist plot to kill Chancellor Palpatine! Obi-Wan meets the plot's mastermind, Morallo Eval, and they all escape from jail together! But now Kenobi faces another obstacle….Bounty Hunter Cad Bane! Can Rake-Wan Kenobi fool Bane with his costume, or will the ruthless criminal see through his ballerina disguise and tell everyone how he dressed up as a pretty flower princess? Only time will tell!

They were crashing into a swamp. Bane thought that was Rake's fault. Rake thought it was Bane's fault. Eval thought it was both of their faults, because they had been the ones fighting over whether Rake's ballerina outfit was a good disguise or not, and they had accidentally killed the ship controls in their rage. Lesson here? Don't fight in cockpits.

"We're coming in too fast, Rake!" Cad Bane shouted at Rake-Wan. "It's all your fault for dressing up as a stupid ballerina anyways!"

"It's NOT my fault!" Rake-Wan shouted at him. "It's your fault for criticizing my dreams of being a ballerina! Plus my name is ballerina man, not Rake!"

"I KNOW YOU'RE RAKE! STOP PRETENDING YOU AREN'T, BECAUSE YOU ARE!" Bane yelled angrily.

"Just let him pretend to be a ballerina! Don't be such a killjoy!" Eval said, rolling his eyes.

"Well can we fix this stupid thing or something!" Bane shouted, banging on the busted controls in frustration.

"No… we have no choice but to crash in the swamp." Eval replied, sounding bored.

They did crash in the swamp. Very very hard.

"Ouch." Cad said.

"Ouch." Rake said.

"Ouch." Eval said.

They climbed outside, onto the top of the ship.

"HEY, I'M KING OF THE WORLD JUST LIKE ANAKIN!" Rake-Wan announced.

"The ship is SINKING. Now we'll never fix it." Cad growled angrily.

"The ship is sinking. Morallo Eval likes. Morallo Eval will get off the ship now." Eval said proudly. Apparently he really likes his name.

He ran down to the swampy ground, and Rake and Bane followed.

"So… what now that you've crashed us here?" Cad asked Rake.

"Now we go to the bazaar and eat exotic snacks!" Rake suggested. Well, it was less of a suggestion and more of a demand, because he didn't exactly give them an option. Just headed in the direction he thought the bazaar was in.

At the bazaar, there was nothing particularly interesting. A couple minutes into looking at rugs and magic lamps, Rake sighed.

"This is boring. We should do something else." He said, biting into his eggroll. (eggrolls are exotic, right? :P)

"Morallo Eval likes this turban." Morallo Eval informed them, showing them a turban he had found at one of the booths.

"Well, Rake-Wan thinks it makes him look fat." Rake-Wan said.

"Rake-Wan does not speak in third person devoid of pronouns!" Eval snapped.

"Fine…" Rake-Wan said.

"I can't BELIEVE I am showing my face in PUBLIC next to YOU!" Bane hissed at Rake-Wan, gesturing to his pretty ballerina outfit, which had been drawing quite a few stairs.

"Look, look!" Rake shouted, pointing to a shop that said "Pablo's Pretty Princess Pawn Shop." He began jumping up and down excitedly.

"No. No no no no no no no no no no no NO." Bane shouted. "We are NOT going in there!"

"Morallo Eval thinks it looks fun!" Eval said.

Cad groaned. "Not you, too… *sigh* fine. You guys go buy princess gear, I'm staying out here!"

But they dragged him into Pablo's Pretty Princess Pawn Shop. And then they made him buy them princess dresses, because they were both sort of out of money.

When they walked out of the store, they were well stocked with weapons, and completely unrecognizable. That was partly due to the fact that they all looked like prince charming… except Obi-Wan, who looked like Prince Charming with a tutu.

"This is so stupid!" Bane shouted for all to hear, looking scornfully down at his prince outfit. At least he had a hat, now. Pablo's Pretty Princess Pawn Shop was stocked with cowboy hats, thankfully, so the trip hadn't been INTIRELY in vain.

"I'm finally a real ballerina!" Obi-Wan yelled gleefully, dancing around in circles not-so-gracefully. He accidentally whacked into a nearby Twi'lik.

"Oops. Sorry madam." He said sheepishly.

"You will never be a ballerina!" She yelled at him, in her perfect French accent, storming off.

Rake-Wan burst into tears.

"Did you hear what she said?" He sniffled. "I will NEVER be a graceful ballerina!"

"Thank goodness." Bane muttered.

Morallo Eval hugged him. "Do not worry, Rake! I used to want to be a ballerina, too, but I became an evil mastermind instead!"

Rake-Wan sniffled sadly.

"Do you think I could be an evil mastermind?" he asked hopefully.

"Frankly, no. But my point is, maybe you'd be good at something different." Eval said encouragingly.

"Maybe I'm good at being a Jedi!" Rake said, feeling a lot better. "Or maybe I'm good at infiltration and undercover things!"

"Maybe you are." Eval said, patting him on the back.

"I'm sick of this." Bane grumbled. "Come on, Eval. We'll go get food. Rake, you go get a ship."

"But I wanna go get food with you!" Rake complained.

"No. You crashed the ship, you go get a new one." Bane said.

Rake mumbled something angrily under his breath, and they both went their separate ways.

xxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxx

"Three dollars!" Rake-Wan demanded.

"No… 15,000." The ship dealer insisted.

"Two dollars!" Rake shouted.

"No! 15,000!"

"A dollar and seventy-five cents!" Rake said.

"NO! 15,000 dollars! Normally when you haggle, you're supposed to offer more and more money, and the person who sells the thing to you lowers the price, until you can come to an agreement." The dealer said exasperatedly.

"That's not how I haggle." Rake said cheerfully. "A dollar and sixty cents! That's my final offer!"

"No! 15,000! Do you not get it?"

"No. A dollar fifty." Obi-Wan waved his hand in front of the guy. "You WILL sell me this ship for a dollar fifty."

"Fine. I WILL sell you this ship for a dollar fifty." The dealer agreed.

Obi-Wan gave him two dollars because he was feeling nice, singing about how he had ripped off someone even worse than Anakin. He couldn't wait to tell his buddy/former apprentice about it.

After he bought the ship, he got distracted by a glowstick booth. He spent about an hour staring at them… and when he got back, the ship was gone.

xxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxx

"Huh? Where am I?" Rake muttered. "Those glowsticks were very glowy! And sticky! Hey, who are you?"

There was an ugly guy who looked like Davy Jones with spikes next to him.

"You are a guest of the hutts." The ugly guy said.

"Then why am I hanging upside down just like Luke that one time?" Rake-Wan complained. The blood was going to his head, and he didn't like the feeling at all.

"Because you aren't really a guest, you're a prisoner." The guy told him.

"I'm dizzy." He stated.

"Yes. You're hanging upside down, and that's a normal side affect of hanging upside down." The guy said.

"Well, can you hang me right side up?" Rake-Wan asked hopefully.

"Um, no."

"Why am I hanging at all?" Rake whined.

"Because that's how hutt etiquette works! Suck it up and deal with it!" The guy snapped at him.

Obi-Wan sucked it up and dealt with it.

A couple of hours later, however, he was done sucking it up and dealing with it. His face was beet-red, and his body felt like mush.

So he punched the guy in the head, and got out of the binders that were binding his feet to the ceiling with the Force. He rushed outside ASAP and hid on the roof.

Pulling out his commlink, he dialed Anakin's number. He was bored, and he very much wanted to talk to his BFF.

But instead of Anakin, Mace and Yoda answered.

"Hi, this is Ben… why is this not Anakin?" Rake-Wan asked disappointedly.

"AHHHHHHH PRANK CALLER OF THE DARK SIDE, IT MUST BE, MASTER GIRLY LIGHTSABER!" Yoda screamed hysterically, banging on the transmitter with his gimer staff.

"Yoda, shut up! Ben, how are you? How's my plan going?" Mace asked Rake-Wan quickly.

"PLAN YOURS, STINK IT DOES! MY PLAN BETTER IT IS!" Yoda shouted, banging Mace on the head with his staff.

"What, the plan about kitty reinforcements and pastel paint? Yeah, no." Mace vetoed that. "How's the GOOD plan going, Ben?"

"It's going good. Only I lost Eval, and also Bane, and then I spent all my credits on a ship and some glowsticks, and then I lost those things too, so I need more credits." Rake said cheerfully.

Mace groaned."That's just… peachy, Kenobi."

"Yeah, and will someone tell me why you guys show up for Anakin's phone?" Rake asked, confused.

"Because he was apparently caught 'using the Dark Side to manipulate his phone and call his Padawan' and got it confiscated." Mace said, shooting Yoda a glance. "And will someone tell me why you're wearing a ballerina outfit?"

"Because I was pursuing my dreams, and then Cad Bane and a French Twi'lik crushed them, but then I just liked the outfit. You should see my Prince Charming crown! Too bad it fell off when I was hanging upside down!" Obi-Wan said thoughtfully.

"Wait… why were you upside down? You're not making sense!" Mace shouted.

"NO, NOT MAKING SENSE YOU ARE, MASTER GIRLY LIGHTSABER!" Yoda screamed. "YOU ALWAYS STUPID, YOU ARE!"

"No, I'm NOT! You're the one who can't even talk straight!"

Rake hung up before he could hear any more.

xxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxx

"You look troubled, Anikin." Chancellor Palpatine said observantly.

Anakin was in tears in the corner of the office. So yes… he looked troubled. Just noticing that, Palpatine?

"Thanks for letting me cry in your office, Chancellor." Anakin sniffed. "... WHY WON'T THE COUNCIL LET ME LOOK IN THE SEWER! I KNOW THE SCRIPT IS IN THERE SOMEWHERE! WAAAAAAAAAAA!" He burst into fresh tears.

"It is possible that they do not trust you to control your feelings…" Palpatine suggested.

Anakin wiped his eyes with his robe "Whaddaya mean? I'm perfectly stable! RAKE-WAN WILL DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!" He hysterically stabbed the Chancellor's desk with a fork. "And now he's escaping with Cad Bane, and Morallo Eval, and THEY WILL ALL ESCAPE TOGETHER AND IT WILL BE A DISASTER AND ALL THE COUNCIL CAN DO IS SIT ON THEIR LAZY BUTTS AND BE PARANOID ABOUT THE SITH!" He stabbed the desk so hard that he couldn't get the fork out of it.

"I'm afraid it's time for you to go now, Anakin." Palpatine said, sounding somewhat fearful. "Out… out now, Anakin! Go to Nal Hutta and find a ballerina prince, and there will be Obi-Wan, please do stop this hysterical crying fork stabbing nonsense!"

"I feel sad." Anakin sniffed desolately.

"Your feelings are what make you special, Anakin. You are a very very special person. Now OUT of my office." Palpatine snapped.

"I'm special? Really? Really, Chancellor?" Anakin was practically jumping up and down in happiness now. "I'M SPECIAL!" he screamed joyfully, rushing out of the office to tell Snips how special he was.

xxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxx

Meanwhile, Rake, Bane and Morallo Eval had started a bar fight. There was beer and glass flying everywhere. The whole bar was a mess.

The fight had started when Bane had walked up to Rake-Wan and told him that his ballerina outfit made him look like a buffoon. Then Rake hit him with a crowbar that he just happened to have on him. Then a random guy yelled "Bar Fight!"

"There is no peace! There is only chaos!" Rake-Wan screamed hysterically, dodging a beer glass. He figured that adaptation of the precepts of Jedi Order was pretty fitting for this situation.

"Will you shut it?" Bane snapped rudely at him.

"NO!" Rake shouted, throwing his margarita at Bane.

"Morallo Eval's ears hurt from all this glass breaking and yelling!" Morallo yelled unhappily at them.

"Rake's do too!" Rake-Wan complained. He walked out of the bar, where it was much less noisy.

"RAKE DOES NOT REFER TO HIMSELF IN THIRD PERSON DEVOID OF PRONOUNS!" Eval hollered in Rake's face, after following him out of the bar.

"Yes he does." Rake corrected.

"No he doesn't!"

"Yes he does!"

"No he doesn't!"

"Yes he does!"

"No he doesn't!"

"WHATEVER! BOTH of you look like buffoons!" Bane screamed at them.

Rake knocked him out cold with his crowbar. Then he knocked Eval out too, just for the heck of it. Then he dragged them to his pretty pink princess ship that he had just bought from Pablo's, and lifted up off the planet.

Right then, Anakin and Ahsoka LANDED on the planet. Anakin rushed as fast as he could out of his ship, and pointed to the pink one that was taking off, jumping up and down happily.

"Someday, Snips, I'm going to have a ship just like that one! And then I will be the prettiest princess in all of magical rainbow land, just like Obi-Wan!" He shouted enthusiastically.

Ahsoka walked down the ramp slightly slower than her master, looking like she might be about to faint.

"What did I tell you about landing backwards?" She muttered dazedly.

Anakin shrugged. "Uh… I don't remember. OOOH OOH, LOOK LOOK LOOK SNIPS! IT'S A MAGICAL FAIRY SHIP! AND IT LOOKS SOOOO FAMILIAR!" He screamed, pointing up in the sky, where the pink ship now was. "CUZ GUESS WHAT! I SAW A SHIP THAT LOOKED JUST LIKE THAT A SECOND AGO, AND SO NOW I SAW TWO!"

"That's the same ship, master." Ahsoka groaned "What kind of nutcase drives a bright pink ship?"

Anakin raised his hand.

"So, please tell me why we're here again." Ahsoka said, rolling her eyes.

"The Chancellor said!" Anakin explained. "He's a Sith lord, and he knows where the evil things are happening!"

Ahsoka sighed. She really didn't want to rehash the "Chancellor Palpatine is Not a Sith Lord" issue right now.

"Okay… sure. What evil things?"

"Script burglars." Anakin said matter-of-factly.

Then they walked into another bar. What did they say? (Okay, I'm seriously going to stop with that. But they walk into SO many bars in these episodes! I mean, every five minutes, someone walks into a bar! XD)

There was still a bar fight going on in there.

"THIS is what people do with their time in the outer rim?" Ahsoka muttered, dodging a wayward glass of who-knows-what.

"LISTEN UP!" Anakin yelled at the bar-going-people, banging on a pot with a spatula to get their attention.

Everyone paused their bar fighting to listen.

"WE'RE LOOKING FOR A SCRIPT THAT I ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED IN MY BATHTUB AND THEN IT ACCIDENTALLY IT WENT DOWN THE DRAIN AND IT WAS VERY DISASTEROUS! Also, OOOOHH SNIPS SNIPS LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL LIGHT! It's very shiny and pretty!" Anakin tilted his head upwards so he could stare at the light.

Ahsoka cleared her throat. "Yeah, what he means is, if you find a script, just give it to us, okay?"

A couple people nodded. Then there was a sort-of-awkward silence.

"Anyone want to play go fish?" some random guy asked.

"I don't have time for games!" Anakin yelled frantically at them. "The steak is Obi-Wan, and he is not a good yummy steak! Come on, Snips!" He marched angrily out of there, and Ahsoka –who didn't really know what just happened- followed. The bar erupted into chaos seconds later.

"So, now what?" Ahsoka asked. "The Chancellor's 'evil' plan to get your script has failed."

Anakin shrugged. "Dunno. Go for a drink? OH WAIT, I KNOW!" he suddenly exclaimed. "Let's get a pretty Pink ship, just like the one I saw in the sky the other day!"

"The other day five minutes ago?" Ahsoka muttered.

"Yeah, that day! Man, that was a fun! We cried and stabbed forks that day!" Anakin said happily. "Oh yeah, then we looked for the script and didn't play go fish!"

"Anddd… you have no sense of time." Ahsoka said, sighing.

"Yep!" Anakin agreed, skipping in the direction he hoped the ship dealership was.

Ahsoka didn't say anything. She just facepalmed, as she followed him.

xxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxx

"HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO!" Captain Rex's commlink/holotransmitter thing shouted from inside his kama. Stupid ringtone…

The Captain turned slightly red, as the other clones stared at him and sniggered. He grabbed it and quickly answered it. It was Mace.

"Hi, General. Bad time to call. I'm in the middle of guarding Palpatine the All Powerful Sith Lord, as he now insists on being called." Rex said boredly.

"Captain Rex, I need to talk to General Skywalker." Mace informed him.

Rex heard a faint gasp and a "Master Girly Lightsaber, PRANK calling are you!" in the background. Mace sighed. "NO, Master Yoda. Get Skywalker on the phone!" He snapped at Rex.

"Why don't you call him yourself, General?" Rex asked.

"Because he isn't answering, that's why!" Mace shouted. "Why else would I be calling you?"

"Um, about that, sir… I don't know where he is. How am I supposed to know where Skywalker is? He's probably stealing Girl Scout cookies or running around with a red wagon or something, like he usually is." Rex said.

"Hmph. Okay, so you're sure you don't know where he is?" Mace asked skeptically.

"No, sir…" Rex said, making the kooku sign and exchanging glances with the other troopers. He forgot he was on a hologram.

Palpatine stepped out of his office with some guards. If he had those, why did he need the clones there? Seriously , what were they doing there? Okay, sorry, I'm writing a parody, not pointing out plot holes…

"Anakin went to Nal Hutta to fulfill my evil plan." Palpatine told Mace. The Korun Jedi Master groaned.

"Chancellor, please don't say the word "evil" when Yoda is within fifty feet of me." He said, dodging Yoda's stick and ignoring his screams about the Dark Side.

"But I have to, Master Windu. I'm the evil Sith Lord, you see." Palpatine explained.

Mace hit himself on the head, as Yoda went ballistic with his stick. "THANK you, Chancellor."

"Not a problem. Come on Captain, walk me to Johnny Rockets. I'm in the mood for a milkshake!" Palpatine said happily. Rex hung up, and sighed.

"Okay, sir."

xxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxx

"Snips! Don't throw up there!" Anakin shouted at his padawan, who was quite sick. He was driving their new "borrowed" pink ship into the nearest space station because it looked like an interesting place to see. He liked to go in circles. And squares. And triangles. And zigzags. And loops. Unfortunately, Ahsoka didn't, and she was pretty close to barfing on the frilly pink upholstery.

"Stop driving like this!" Ahsoka yelled at him, with as much strength as she could muster up in her condition.

"But driving like this is fun!" Anakin said cheerfully, executing a full loop-the-loop.

"No it ISN'T!" Ahsoka yelled.

"Is too!"

"Is NOT!"

"Is too!"

"IS NOT!"

"Is too!"

"Is NOT!"

"Is too!"

"Is… not… oh…" Ahsoka leaned over, clutching her stomach.

"Okay, okay!" Anakin straightened out the ship and drove it straight, like a regular person. Suddenly, he shot upwards in his chair. "HEY LOOK LOOK AT THAT PINK SHIP! OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!"

"Master, wait!" Ahsoka shouted, looking sick again.

He was so excited, he lost control of the controls and accidentally rammed into the other pink ship.

In the pink ship…

"Stupid Jedi!" Bane yelled, as their ship plummeted. "We're crashing!"

"Morallo Eval doesn't like to crash!" Eval whimpered.

"Anakin, stop that!" Rake yelled angrily at the pink ship beside them.

"Anakin?" Bane asked, surprised.

"That's who's driving. Nobody else can ram into a ship like that. Poor Ahsoka's probably throwing up in there." Rake-Wan explained, as if it should have been obvious.

In Anakin's pink ship…

"Weeee! Woooooo!" Anakin yelled, randomly steering the controls.

"Master… what are you… DOING!" Ahsoka shouted. "Are you TRYING to kill us, and whatever poor people are in that pink ship?"

"No! I'm just doing that fun "out of control spinning" thing I discovered last time I was doing my driver's test, Snips!" Anakin explained.

"You TOOK that?" Ahsoka shouted at him.

"No, I teach it!" He said gleefully, than shrieked happily as he rammed into the ship again.

"That's it, you aren't driving this stupid thing for another second!" Ahsoka practically screamed at him, pushing him out of the way. She grabbed the control stick thing, and jerked them upwards so as not to ram into the pink ship anymore.

Meanwhile, Anakin was busy trying to call the police. He kept yelling "POLICE POLICE, AHSOKA STOLE MY CONTROLS AND SHE IS A GRAND THEFT!" but unfortunately he forgot the phone part of calling the police.

"Quiet down while I'm driving, master!" Ahsoka said, rolling her eyes as she steered.

"NO, I'M NOT QUIETING DOWN BECAUSE OF YOU STOLE THEM RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE AND COMMITED FELONY AND BAD CRIMES! AND YOU ARE UNDER REST! You have the right to remain silent, Snips. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in court– OOOOOOOOOHHHHH LOOK AIRLOCK!"

With that, Anakin opened the airlock that said "do not open and jump out of during flight" and jumped out of it.

"Master!" Ahsoka cried, frantic. She ditched the controls and ran to the airlock to see whether he had killed himself. Luckily, he hadn't. The other pink ship was coincidentally directly below them, and he had landed on it.

Anakin waved. "Wow, you look like a togruta in a silly pink ship from down here, Snips!" he informed her loudly.

"Get back UP here, master!" Ahsoka yelled at him, half relieved and half exasperated and worried beyond belief. "That ship is private property, plus you're going to kill yourself!"

Anakin stuck his tongue out at her. "You're not the boss of me, Snips!"

Much to Ahsoka's horror, he started drawing a picture of a puppy in the hull of the other guys' pink ship with his lightsaber.

"Master! Stop that right this instant!" She shouted down at him, slightly horrified but not completely surprised.

Than Cad Bane rocket-booted over to them.

"Hey, what the kriff do you think you're doing!" he yelled at Anakin.

"Of course it's his ship." Ahsoka groaned inaudibly.

"Drawing art." Anakin said absentmindedly, stabbing the puppy he had just created very hard with his 'saber. Hey, what can I say? He likes to stab stuff.

While Ahsoka yelled at Anakin to get back up there, nobody was piloting the ship. Sadly, it rammed into the other pretty pink ship, and both of the pretty pink ships erupted into flames and began plummeting downwards. Anakin and Bane fell off while the ships were doing this, and Ahsoka accidentally banged her head on a wall while hanging on to her ship for dear life.

Rake-Wan and Eval weren't doing so hot, either. They were pretty banged-up by the time everyone stopped crashing.

"ANAKIN!" Rake screamed at the top of his lungs "IT'S TOO LATE, IT'S TOO LATE!" he lamented, wringing his vest.

"What are you TALKING about, Hardeen?" Eval snapped.

"Anakin. I am talking about Anakin." Rake sniffled.

"Ookay…" Eval said, as Rake-Wan rushed out without any further notice.

He rushed all the way into the misty fog on the surface of the moon. And then he stopped. Because he was lost. And it was darkish.

"Darn it." He muttered.

Then suddenly, he was football tackled from behind.

"Where's. My. SCRIPT!" an extremely angry Anakin said rather snappishly. "You're going to pay for what you've done!"

"What've I done, Anakin?" Rake asked worriedly, trying to get out of Anakin's football tackle.

"You have the right to remain silent, Rake-Wan Hardeen." Anakin announced, too full of himself to even consider that Rake-Wan knew his name by anything other than his fame and reputation as The Chosen One.

"But I don't WANT to remain silent!" Rake whined.

"Too bad." Anakin snapped.

He got off Rake-Wan and waited awhile, staring intensely at the man he had just arrested. Then he crossed his arms. And tapped his foot impatiently. And waved his gloved hand in front of Rake-Wan's face.

"ARE YOU DEAD OR SOMETHING!" he yelled into the poor guy's face.

"No, you TOLD me to remain silent!" Rake yelled back.

"Well I meant that you have to tell me where you hid that stupid script!" Anakin explained, rolling his eyes.

"Well how was I supposed to know that?" Rake retorted.

Anakin shrugged.

Then he was ambushed from behind by Cad Bane, who wrapped a long cable around his body and started flying backwards, laughing manically and shouting "my turn to kill the Jedi!" at the top of his lungs.

"Hey, what do you think you're doin- !" Anakin shouted happily, as Bane dragged him across the moon by the cables.

When Bane finally stopped, Anakin put on a pouty face and tried to cross his arms, only to find that he couldn't, being wrapped in cables in all.

He flipped into a standing position, accidentally kicking Bane in the face as he did, and knocking him unconscious.

"Oops." He said sheepishly. He tried to wiggle himself out of the cables, and only succeeded in tripping and falling right next to Bane.

Rake-Wan walked up to them sleepily, and announced that he was tired. Anakin just wanted to get out of the cables, because they itched.

"SNIIIIIIIPSSSS!" he yelled in no particular direction. "SNIPS, I'M, UM, HAVING DIFFICULTY!"

"Yes Ahsoka, he very much is!" Rake shouted in the same nonexistent direction. "That's because he's stuck!"

"I'm not STUCK!" Anakin yelled indignantly, struggling in the cables.

"Yes you are." Rake said smugly.

"I am NOT!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Ahsoka arrived just then, sipping a smoothie that she got from who-knows-where.

"What's wrong now master?" she asked exasperatedly.

"Uh, cables are wrong, Snips," Anakin said.

"Oh, you're stuck." Ahsoka said.

"I am not STUCK!" Anakin insisted huffily.

"Yes you are." Rake said, smirking.

"'kay, well what do you call that?" Ahsoka asked.

"I'm jammed." Anakin improvised.

Rake and Ahsoka rolled their eyes in unison.

"Master, stuck and jammed are the same thing." Ahsoka reminded him.

"They aren't." Anakin said stubbornly.

"They are, master."

"They aren't!"

"They are so!"

"They are not!"

"They are so!"

"They are not!"

"Morallo Eval has fixed the ship all by himself!" Morallo Eval announced proudly, running through the mist in their direction.

"Oh boy, wow! You must be good, because that ship was flaming and stuff!" Anakin said, staring at him in an awed manner.

"Yes, that is because I am Morallo Eval." Eval explained to him. "Come on, Rake. Come on, Bane. We're having cereal for lunch!"

"Breakfast for lunch, oh boy!" Rake-Wan squealed joyfully. "Bye Anakin, bye Ahsoka, that was superfun! Come on, Bane."

He grabbed Bane by his unconscious foot, and dragged him in the direction of the ship with Eval, and they vanished into the fog, or mist, or whatever.

"So… how to get you unstuck…" Ahsoka mused, after giving a "you-guys-are-so-weird" glance at the mist that the bounty hunters had just disappeared into.

"I'm not stuck." Anakin insisted, still struggling in his cables.

"Sure you're not." Ahsoka said, helping him up.

He leaned on her for support, and they walked into the distance. Well, Ahsoka walked. Anakin's legs were tied in cables. He hopped.

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Epilogue about a box…

There was a "125th annual Hunger Games" on Count Dooku's homeworld of Serenno, and a lot of bounty hunters came to compete. They were hungry, and they thought it was a game to see who was the most hungry of all of them. It turned out to be a brutal fight to the death, and because it was the quarter quell, the special circumstance was that the Games where in a large cardboard box that Morallo Eval designed (AKA colored all over with crayola markers). I'm not going to account for you what went on in that box, but some amount of bounty hunters went in, and a smaller amount of them came out.

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